Anon delusional parents - come on already

[trackandfield6]

Ok sorry sometimes this just needs to be said. How is it possible with all the ability to see upper level 9/10 gymnasts on youtube, Instagram, meetscores, etc that parents can be so delusional to think their kid is getting a D1 spot when they are so not in that talent pool. Why are coaches so willing to tell parents what they want to hear when it affects the life of a child.

Sorry but come on parents do your research!!! Check out gymdivas look at all the kids NOT getting spots, look at the ones who are and see how they are scoring. Look at gyms scores compared to others. Look at your region to see if kids are scouted there. Does your gym have college connections. Parents willing to sacrifice for something so not happening I don’t understand the willingness to put on blinders Or maybe the stupidity of not understanding. This sports requires so much sacrifice for everyone but where is the parent responsibility to be in reality with it all. Sorry just makes me mad especially when a child seems to have no input.

I say this as a parent of a level 10 kid that is talented but not THAT talented. we did our research accepted the reality a few years ago and shifted goals to enjoy the sport without blinders on knowing there was an end game that to some means there is no reason to do it. ok rant done but just had to vent after watching a kid pulled from a gym that she loved placed in one that is actually inferior cause the parent is just crazy. DO YOUR RESEARCH as a parent take the blinders off and look at your child in reality. You as a parent owe that to your kid.

Well said!

 

[Anonymous (39e6)]

This isn't in exactly the same realm, but there are parents moving their kids up to team right now at our gym. There is one mother who was chatting with me (my kid is level 8) and asked if my gymnast was going to college to do gymnastics. She looked appalled when I said no. She is 14, training level 8, some 9 skills as uptraining, and she is well behind the curve for getting college scholarships or team positions.This woman's daughter is 11 and just being invited to join our Bronze team. She said that he daughter has told her she wants to go to college on a scholarship and go to UCLA (the most successful team any where close to us). She asked me again why my daughter wasn't going to college on a scholarship and I was rather blunt and said, "She isn't good enough to be competitive."

Perhaps I should have been more "Yes, we're planning on a college scholarship" in order for her to feel like it was possible for her child (and maybe it is possible, but is it realistic?) But we are a practical gymnastics family and my daughter knows she isn't the stand out. She is talented, she has some strengths, but she also wants to have a life outside of gymnastics, she doesn't want to train 30-40 hours a week. Those are choices we have made knowing she isn't planning on a scholarship to college.

 

[Anonymous (1ae4)]

I have had some very frank conversations with my kid that while she is definately "above agerage" in terms of gymnastics talent (anyone who makes it to optionals is) that doesnt mean she is a top of the podium going to the Olympics any college I want kid. She is ok with that and proud of what she can do. You don't have to be the "best" to be proud of legit accomplishments I am just not sure some people have the vocabulary or self awareness to be ok with not be AMAZING.

 

[Anonymous (64c2)]

Every parent believes their child is one in a million.

Or, to rephrase the same idea: 99.9999% of parents overestimate their kids' abilities

 

[Anonymous (8fce)]

For all sports, unless you've done the sport at a high level yourself it is very hard if not impossible to appreciate the exponential curve in skill development. Many kids that are passionate about a sport can get to that second or third tier of skills but almost no kids will ever develop collegiate or pro level skills no matter how much they love or practice that sport.

 

[Anonymous Post]

Ok sorry sometimes this just needs to be said. How is it possible with all the ability to see upper level 9/10 gymnasts on youtube, Instagram, meetscores, etc that parents can be so delusional to think their kid is getting a D1 spot when they are so not in that talent pool. Why are coaches so willing to tell parents what they want to hear when it affects the life of a child.

Sorry but come on parents do your research!!! Check out gymdivas look at all the kids NOT getting spots, look at the ones who are and see how they are scoring. Look at gyms scores compared to others. Look at your region to see if kids are scouted there. Does your gym have college connections. Parents willing to sacrifice for something so not happening I don’t understand the willingness to put on blinders Or maybe the stupidity of not understanding. This sports requires so much sacrifice for everyone but where is the parent responsibility to be in reality with it all. Sorry just makes me mad especially when a child seems to have no input.

I say this as a parent of a level 10 kid that is talented but not THAT talented. we did our research accepted the reality a few years ago and shifted goals to enjoy the sport without blinders on knowing there was an end game that to some means there is no reason to do it. ok rant done but just had to vent after watching a kid pulled from a gym that she loved placed in one that is actually inferior cause the parent is just crazy. DO YOUR RESEARCH as a parent take the blinders off and look at your child in reality. You as a parent owe that to your kid.

For some reason, the gymnasts at my daughter’s gym think that qualifying to regionals (levels 6-8) means that they will skip a level now. There are level 7s (just finished season) who think they’re going to level 9, level 4s who think they’re scoring out of level 5 and going to 7 when they still can’t Kip without muscling it up, even level 6s who think they’re going level 8 or 9! It’s not the coaches, it’s coming from the parents (I’ve heard them talking) and the girls themselves. And they aren’t older girls, they’re ages 10-12. I don’t know what’s going on this year, it’s never been like this before. It has never been a thing that qualifying to regionals means skipping the next level. Why can’t they all just enjoy the level they’re training and get good at those skills first?

 

[Anonymous (1370)]

I think, like anything in life, there is a balance to supporting your child and
realistically defining their ambitions without being pie in the sky optimistic nor disparaging. My daughter knows she's not in the right position to get a scholarship out of high school. I work at a post-secondary institution so tuition costs aren't a concern for us if she attends locally, so we chose to invest in gymnastics even though we could have saved that money for college. She's looking more towards a different sports scholarship if she choses to go away for school (like others have mentioned) but she knows that she has the option to attend locally and perhaps try for a scholarship later, or even as a masters degree. We'll cross that bridge when we get there. However, I have certainly seen parents who don't see the point in continuing if you aren't hoping for a college scholarship pushing their child into camps to get recruited when they've said to teammates that they don't want to go to college with gymnastics they are just enjoying their sport. One girl pretends to be interested in that route because her parents might pull her out if she admits it isn't a long-term goal, and this puts a lot of unnecessary pressure on her. We've had some frank discussions in our house, and I think we've avoided the pitfall of being too hopeful while still believing in her abilities. I perhaps am trying especially hard to be supportive since I remember as a child being told by my mother not to improve my art because I wasn't good enough and you can't make any money at it; we compensate for our own scars!

 

[Dahlialover]

The world is full of fools. If someone has an unrealistic dream and it makes them happy, then there is no harm in it. Let the xcel gymnasts imagine Olympic glory! It’s fun to believe in Santa Clause. Where it gets uncomfortable is when a person clearly being financially exploited or otherwise harmed due to an unrealistic dream. That is HARD to watch. But people waste money on a lot of stupid crap and if it wasn’t gymnastics these same people would be getting scammed in some of venue. A fool and their money are soon parted. I do feel bad for the kids when parents are causing them to suffer needlessly in pursuit of delusional ambitions but again, if wasn’t gymnastics, they’d be messing up their children’s lives some other way. That’s just how people are.

 

[Anonymous (32dd)]

I’ll chime in with a different perspective. I am one of those parents who moved her child against their wishes chasing a pipe dream. I, however, do not have unrealistic expectations as I said, it’s a pipe dream, but it’s HER pipe dream and I just don’t want to be looking back 5 years from now wondering what-if. She’s been at her new gym for a year now and it’s been amazing. I also believe that some opportunities are made, not given. While her dream may not ever come true, at least she’ll know she gave it her best shot and I’ll know I never held her back.

 

[rlm's mom]

We are in a gym that has many high level 10s so I feel qualified to put a word in here. Very very few kids who are level 10 and scoring in the 37s by their sophomore year of high school are not going to get D1 offers. Even if they are not in popular funds they will have made nationals and been scouted out there. So if a parent has a kid on track for that I would encourage them to be extremely optimistic about their chances. Kids who make it later or are event specialists don't have that guarantee. But never give up - there are many things a D1 school are looking for, and high level skills are less important than technique and potential.

 

[Anonymous (02e9)]

We are in a gym that has many high level 10s so I feel qualified to put a word in here. Very very few kids who are level 10 and scoring in the 37s by their sophomore year of high school are not going to get D1 offers. Even if they are not in popular funds they will have made nationals and been scouted out there. So if a parent has a kid on track for that I would encourage them to be extremely optimistic about their chances. Kids who make it later or are event specialists don't have that guarantee. But never give up - there are many things a D1 school are looking for, and high level skills are less important than technique and potential.

THIS! A little optimism for once. The key statement is your gym has high level 10s. Only about 100 level 10 gymnasts competed in the So Cal State Meet. And only 15 touched a score of 37 or higher. (20% scratched an event). Those scoring 37 and higher at States are probably all getting recruited.

 

[Anonymous (cdb1)]

Every parent believes their child is one in a million.

Or, to rephrase the same idea: 99.9999% of parents overestimate their kids' abilities

I might be one of those rare parents in the 0.1%. Sports never interested me personally, and growing up, my family couldn't afford youth sports. My husband also isn't big on sports. That's why I never expected our kids to develop such a strong passion for gymnastics, a sport that requires significant financial investment and time commitment. We originally thought they'd just casually have fun with it, but to our amazement, all our children ended up competing in gymnastics.

I never could have imagined that they would join a team or even make it to the podium. It's been a series of delightful surprises. The unexpected perk is that, with our lower parental expectations, our children seem to be thriving and genuinely enjoying themselves without feeling undue pressure. I can't say if it's necessarily good or bad, but it's just how things turned out for my family. And in the end, that's what truly matters - their happiness and fulfillment.