Women Does going with your gut ever not work out?

[Gymbee06]

Some of you may know that we are very early on in our first gym switch, dd wasn't progressing and bored went to gym b and decided to move I have no issues with new gym but I'm just wondering if I'm right to be trusting myself so much that I've made the right choice.
Do you question whether you did the right thing?
How many of you wish you hadn't changed?but it felt so right at the time?
If you had doubts how long did they last for?
I guess I'm just after reassurance I've done the right thing but the truth is I will never know I know dd is at place now where she is happy and excited about gym again and that's all I care about thanks everyone

 

[Iwannabemargo]

I think it depends what the original problems were.

Its never 100% someone else's problem, our children's reactions can exacerbate the situation. So if the issues were 75% "the gym ethos" 25% Child then it should be good in a new regime, if its more 50/50 then once the shine wears off the old problems may well re-appear.

 

[Gymbee06]

The problem was team was too big 32 kids 2 qualified coaches and 2 teenagers helping out who were lovely but were there for the paycheck as soon as I brought up that she was a little bored and felt like she hadn't learnt anything in a year the hc who hasn't coached my daughter for at least 6 months told me she didn't always try as hard as other days usually 3 3 good versus 1 bad this had never been mentioned before she trialled at new gym and within 2 mins has 2 skills 1 she had been working on for a while and hc said she was months away from getting and another that they just told the group to do x skill but offered no coaching help on what to do to achieve it I don't know if this is a normal way of coaching or not I certainly don't think my kid is 100% all the time but as this was never mentioned and they only ever said good things about her (and as I worked there also) they had plenty of chance to mention it in the end they couldn't be bothered to work through it with her and I won't have her somewhere that they weren't bothered if she was there or not and didn't care about her. Another nail in the coffin I told old gym about an opportunity for dd to train with Beckie and Ellie downie with photo ops and autographs and q & a around her birthday which she was desperate to go to as this is at the downies current gym which is 20 mins away and was told that as it most likely a poaching excerise she wasn't allowed to attend fwiw I would never move the that gym anyway! I was not saying new gym is perfect it's less hours longer drive and I don't know that much about them except they win at comps we've been in with them argh sorry for the long reply

 

[Iwannabemargo]

and breathe

lol, our last gym was good for about 18 months, then they grew past their capabilities, didn't have the staff for the children, large groups with lots of sitting around.

Pink has never been happier where she is now, but she is getting a lot of attention, and that is something she needs.

As I said on an earlier thread in this country, apart from a handful of kids, there is no end goal with gym. So the most important thing is that they are happy. If she is happy, its all good, if things change then time to re-assess

 

[l.c.o]

I don't know. I can't say that I've never wished DD hadn't changed gyms, but I've definitely wished we'd done it sooner.

We've been in situations where multiple things have occurred outside of our control. DD either wasn't ready for, or didn't have the correct temperament for, GYM A. Coaches were very strict and exacting and serious and my DD lacked proper communication abilities and was/is very stubborn... She had spent 3.5 years there from tot classes to rec to preteam.

We switched to GYM B which had a much more relaxed atmosphere and a decent Xcel program led by what would be the same "new coach". We weren't sure whether she'd ultimately end up in Xcel or JO. After six months, they booted my girl and her whole training group to a different location as her coach was expecting and would be going on maternity leave right as season was starting. Not only was the new location an hour away rather than 45 minutes away, but the new start times conflicted with her school. At annual conferences, GYM B also pretty much said that DD was a nice kid, but essentially not their best, so we decided it wasn't worth the stress over the drive, missing school vs missing practice, etc to stay there any longer (no hard feelings on our end with gym, just didn't work).

So, after 18 months or so at GYM B, we moved to GYM C. GYM C is a growing program that happened to be approximately 1 mile from DD's new school. Times worked out well and she had a classmate there. So, we switched, figuring it was worth the risk since DD clearly wasn't going to be some super star needing a proven program (program seemed more laid back, and it was not yet 'proven'). Program took a sharp turn into Seriousville, and DD was generally OK with that. The trained an above average amount of hours for level, and DD kept getting overuse injuries. And then the schedule started to conflict with school - while there was an option to start later and add an extra day, DD was still late on the extra day and HATED spending and extra day there with different girls, as well as missing that hour with her friends 3x/week. Gym also disbanded their boys team right when DS was begging to join team... DD had rough fall and almost quit altogether. Long story short and lots of reasons later, after 18 months there, DD actually ended up back at GYM A (where DS now is on team, too).

GYM A trains a fewer number of hours and has a later start time. It's also 1/2 the distance from home in comparison to GYM B. And since we lived <5 miles from the gym for eight years, we know a LOT of people in the gym. While I know that DD probably would have ended up leaving the sport had we stayed longer, I really wish she would have just been ok to stay there all along. She's really thriving right now with a great group of kids. The same coach that she had trouble with years ago is now one of her favorites. It's going on a year since the change and she's still pleased with the decision, and she seems to overall be healthier (mentally and physically). What helps is that my DD has really matured over the last 3-4 years. She's improved a lot, though some of that was attitude, too. She's in a place where she's asking to sign up for optional, additional classes, which hasn't happened in, well, ever. Is the gym perfect? Nope. Has DD's experience coming back been perfect? Nope. But it's so far been good.

So, I probably don't completely regret her leaving GYM A, but I wish things were different so she never would have had to leave GYM A, if that makes sense.

 

[Iwannabemargo]

But also had you not left Gym A, your daughter might not have had an opportunity to mature within gymnastics in that strict environment, she might have left thinking gym was not her thing.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Changed 2 yrs ago not one regret.

 

[l.c.o]

But also had you not left Gym A, your daughter might not have had an opportunity to mature within gymnastics in that strict environment, she might have left thinking gym was not her thing.

Definitely this. I am fairly certain that had she not left when she did, she would no longer be in this sport... and this sport is such a big part of her life that I can't begin to envision how things would be different.

And each part of her journey has brought some big positives. GYM A originally gave her some great tools and fundamentals. GYM B was a pretty nurturing environment which let her gain some confidence with very little pressure. GYM C's shift to becoming a more serious program helped DD find success on the podium and made her realize that hard work pays off. The strictness of that environment is bizarrely what drove DD to ask to return to GYM A "well if I can handle GYM C mom, I can handle going back to GYM A". The return to GYM A... what could be considered a more proven program, with more competitive girls in her group, has driven DD to push herself like she hasn't before. She's feeling the drive from within, and it's something her coaches even notice and note to her teammates. That's priceless, and I'm not sure that she'd be where she is had not each of those moves occurred.

 

[Muddlethru]

Many believe their gut always serves them right. I personally do not know since it is hard to accurately say if the former situation is better because you are no longer in that situation. I will say, a great majority who have switched needed to switch and are happy with the switch. My daughteer switched gyms at L9. We are very happy she left her old gym. I am not over the moon with our current gym. The new gym is good but I feel we could have gone to a better gym. Realize that wherever you go, there will always be something to gripe about. Nothing is ever really perfect. I think the fact that your daughter is happy and excited about gym again, is a testament that she had to leave the old gym. Now, is this gym the perfect gym for her, only time will tell.

 

[poodlemomma]

No regrets here.

 

[needcoffee]

Definitely no regrets here. I can say with 100% certainty my dd would not come as far as she has at the other gym.

 

[duyetanh]

I have seen over and over on this forum threads where people who seem much more in the 'know' than little old me (said seriously, without sarcasm or malice) have said the something like the following: "If you are thinking of leaving, you should have left a year ago." Yes, easier said than done. But once done, it seems the majority are happy the change was made. I also think it is different for the parents than the children. The parents in question see the issues at the current gym, and long for those issues to disappear or be changed at a current gym (and hopefully they aren't wearing rose colored glasses, because NO gym out there is *perfect*)...their child in question sees the situation differently in that they have bonded with friends and coaches at current gym, and even if it is not a good situation at current gym, well the unknown is just that, and the unknown is intimidating as well as exhilarating.

Did any of that make any sense? For the record, we have never changed gyms!

 

[kris]

DD switched 6 months ago, and I am so glad she did. She is so much happier, and improving a lot too.

 

[BPD304]

We switched 6 moths ago and I have zero regrets. The new gym might not be "perfect" but it fits our needs and the coaches are wonderful.

 

[balancedmom]

We switched DD from A to B, and learned very quickly that DD did not do well at high pressure, non-nurturing gym. So, she is back at gym A, and we have learned to be happy with what we have-- a DD who wants to do gymnastics, but does not want to be pushed ahead in the way that some of the 'great' gyms do. You can have great coaches and a great gym, but if your DD doesn't click with the coaches and coaching style it doesn't matter good luck.

 

[leotardmakermum]

We are now at Gym D. Gym A to Gym B was a switch that was needed for new opportunities and came with the blessing of our much loved coach at Gym A. Gym B to Gym C (about 2 years later) was a forced move of the whole program and we quickly realised it was not a good move. We stayed there less than 6 months? Gym C to Gym D was an unexpected but extremely happy move. Been there about a year now, and regularly thank the HC (my daughter's coach) for how wonderful the program is. She knows how much we appreciate her and the whole program, because I almost constantly tell her.

The only time we got it wrong was Gym B to C and we had little choice in that move anyway. We were promised the world and it never materialised. So, while your gut instinct can be wrong, you just have to make the best choices with the information you have. Don't second guess yourself because it doesn't help. If you make a bad choice, deal with the consequences and move on.

 

[gymjunkie]

The knowing "it's time to leave" gut feeling is probably one you can trust better than the knowing "which gym to switch to" gut feeling.

 

[beachgirl]

My daughter switched gyms 5 months ago. The first 4 months were awesome. Over the last month or so some of the newness has worn off and I've started seeing some problems. I started questioning my decision on which new gym we selected. I had to go back and look at why we selected the gym that we did and in looking at that I was able to look past the few problems that have come up. Nothing is perfect.

 

[Gymbee06]

Thanks everyone I think I was right given that in the past week I have have found out about 5 other cases of parents reporting bullying plus mine it was quite full blown bullying with my dd but still the coaches response was to move 2 of the victims down a group do nothing in 2 cases including ours 4 including us have left in the last month so even if it doesn't work at the new gym I know I was right to get out of there the gut was right

 

[sce]

Sorry to hear how things have turned out. To answer the initial question: We make the best decision we can with the information we have. Sometimes more information comes about and/or situations change then how we feel about the original decisoin might change too.