Women Fear

[Misunderstood]

Hi everyone,

I’m hoping to get some guidance from parents, coaches, or gymnasts who’ve been through something similar.

My daughter has recently developed a lot of fear on beam. She told me she’s scared of falling and “splitting” on it, and you can really see the fear in her routine. she’s shaky and hesitant. It's hard to watch, she looks tense from the moment she gets on.
For those who have dealt with this before,
What helped your gymnast work through fear of falling or getting hurt?

Are there things parents can do at home (mentally or physically) to support ?
Any drills, progressions, or mental strategies that helped your kids feel safer?
I just want to help her feel confident again. Any advice or shared experiences would be really appreciated. Thank you!

 

[ryanolympian]

Have you climbed onto the beam to see what she is facing? Have you tried a handstand or a cartwheel on a low beam at home? It’s the stuff of Jedi, what she is facing. The best you can do as a parent is to remind them that you believe in them and trust them to do their best, and then always have great amounts of delicious and nutritious food when they get home. Every skill opens a door to another level of risk and this power over fear is what they will face on their own. Why each gymnast needs to conquer their fears is deeply personal, and it drives them. Gymnasts are often perceived to be like ballerina or figure skaters, but in fact they’re more like extreme sports competitors who are doing double backward somersaults on a dirt track with a mountain bike. They’re alone in their moment of fear and mastery, and there’s no room for error or self doubt. They need to believe in themselves, so just remind them that you believe in them and you trust them to do their best. I’ve known many gymnasts that love the beam, or those that love bars more. That said, it is a calling to be a gymnast, and it’s ok if they don’t have that need. Make sure they know it’s no failure, and keep trying to find their own physical activity that suits their talents and develops their body for a long and happy life.

 

[NutterButter]

Every gymnast, eventually, will encounter fears. Sometimes it's in response to a growth spurt where they have to get used to their new height and/or center of gravity shifts. Sometimes it's short lived, other times not so much. Sometimes it's just part of who the athlete is.

Somethings that I found helpful:

1. Understanding how the coaches deal with it. Fears are a normal part of the sport and a punitive approach can backfire. She should never be asked to chuck something that she is scare of. Instead they should bring her back to a point in the skill where she is comfortable and build back up from there.

2. Don't talk about it much. Her dwelling on it will just make it worse. The post above sums it up nicely - remind her that you believe in her and that her coaches do too. Normalize what she is feeling but don't dwell on it.

3. You didn't mention her age, level or how long it's been going on but depending on these answers a sports psychologist can be helpful (she needs to be of a certain age/maturity for this to be effective)

4. I would often use humor to diffuse a rough patch (think lighthearted comments like "Ugh, I hate it when back handsprings (or whatever skill) go missing' then followed up with a gentle reminder that what they are doing IS hard and hard things take work.

My DD was always a very cautious gymnast. She also had a wonderful combination of wanting to please her coaches, high standards for herself and generalized anxiety disorder. Every year meant new skills and new fears. It was exhausting parenting through it but she still made it to D3 college gymnastics.

 

[Milomom]

My daughter (age 11) has had fears and mental blocks on and off. The perform happy program really helped. She went from having block on her flyway on bars and BHS on beam from May through October, and coming home from practice in tears, to doing both in competition and even placing in both events. We started the program in august, by her first meet at the end of October, the skills were back. It all clicked 2 weeks before her first meet. She is now excited again about the sport with the goal of getting her cast handstand layout flyaway and giant by the end of December. It is amazing to see the difference: she is now seeking out feedback from her coach on how to improve (asking the coach to review her meet videos and get specific feedback), setting realistic goals for meets (she used to focus on the medals or scores in level 3/4, now she has a specific goal on each event - cast above 45 degrees, straight leg on bhs, smiling more on floor etc). She also is more supportive of her teammates - she went from being super competitive with her teammates and being frustrated if she wasn't the highest scoring one on the team to being excited for her teammates performances and genuinely wants them to do well. I had my doubts when I signed her up for the program, and did it mostly out of desperation because she was so unhappy and stressed, but I am amazed at how well it has worked for her - and we only did the 1:1 counseling for a month then did the online program and videos for another 2 months.


They have a podcast that you could start with: