I have not been following my other post since I was just getting to upset and emotional about it. I figured it was best just not to read them anymore. But, I did want to give an update as to what the final decision was, and why.
DD had her State meet this weekend. She was very happy and relaxed going into it. She seemed prepared and ready. She did really well on floor with a 9.150, her second highest score of the year. They even played the wrong song (it was the song she used last year) but this gym uses a different one. I think she did better to the other song, hence the higher score. We were very happy for dd. On to Vault, she had her usual 8.850. Pretty good. DH said he was happy enough with that. On bars we were very excited to see her warm up. She was actually going for her handstand. She has not really been trying to do it at all, but during her competition she was back to not really pushing for more. She scored 8.7. Beam was the biggest disappointment of all since she had been scoring very high at most of the meets. She made two errors, which she later said she forgot were deductions, and scored 9.05. I know that is good for many, but she had scored as high as 9.6. Her AA was not much different than last year and she scored in the middle of the pack. I know that for many you would be fine with that, but for us, we felt that after a second year at level 6 she could improve a little. One girl that she had competed against last year (and was equally as good as at some meets) scored a 38 AA, 2 points more than dd.
DD just shrugged at us after the meet was over. In the car on the long drive home DH asked her why she wanted to keep going in gymnastics. Her first answer was "I want to keep home-schooling and if I quit gym I will have to go back to regular school." I told her that she could keep home-schooling and that was a separate issue. Her second reason was "I want to see my friends." Of course she will miss her friends, but dd is very outgoing and will be able to make friends anywhere. And her last reason, which was the best one she gave was that she was not sure if she would like any other sport as much as gymnastics. I thought to myself, how will she know if she likes anything else unless she tries something else?
DH said that was all he needed to hear. DH said what he did not hear was dd saying that she loved gymnastics more than anything and wanted to do it more than anything. I asked dd if she would be willing to go to a closer gym and train less hours (wanting to see if she really did love gymnastics and would consider a place with less hours that cost less) dd quickly said she did not want to. That made me feel like she really did not care about the sport as much as I thought.
So, DH has told dd that we are done. I thought she would cry, pout and yell (that is her usual response when she is really upset) but surprisingly she seems happy about the decision. She already seems more relaxed and is really excited about trying snowboarding in a few weeks. I am having a much harder time than dd. I keep thinking about the "what-ifs" and I have been in tears after talking to some other gym moms. After one phone call dd came up to me and said, "Don't worry mom. I did not really want to do the higher level skills anyways."
I guess we were seeing her lack of passion and drive at the meets and that was what led us to this critical moment and big decision for our family. I know that I mentioned the money, and the money is a big part of it. $8000 plus a year is not pocket change, but I think as a family we have come to what is the best decision not entirely based on the money, but on what is best for the family as a whole. I am sure I will get some posts on her saying that we pushed her, she gave up because we were pressuring her etc. The sport does require a little pressure anyways, being a competitive sport, so I will just have to let those comments slide.
Hopefully our journey can help someone else out there. I can't say the process is easy, is has been really hard, but I feel like we are hopeful for more exciting adventures for our dd. Who knows, maybe after a few months she will realize how much she misses gym and we might let her go back and try again. DH says that is not an option, but he is softer than he lets on.
DD had her State meet this weekend. She was very happy and relaxed going into it. She seemed prepared and ready. She did really well on floor with a 9.150, her second highest score of the year. They even played the wrong song (it was the song she used last year) but this gym uses a different one. I think she did better to the other song, hence the higher score. We were very happy for dd. On to Vault, she had her usual 8.850. Pretty good. DH said he was happy enough with that. On bars we were very excited to see her warm up. She was actually going for her handstand. She has not really been trying to do it at all, but during her competition she was back to not really pushing for more. She scored 8.7. Beam was the biggest disappointment of all since she had been scoring very high at most of the meets. She made two errors, which she later said she forgot were deductions, and scored 9.05. I know that is good for many, but she had scored as high as 9.6. Her AA was not much different than last year and she scored in the middle of the pack. I know that for many you would be fine with that, but for us, we felt that after a second year at level 6 she could improve a little. One girl that she had competed against last year (and was equally as good as at some meets) scored a 38 AA, 2 points more than dd.
DD just shrugged at us after the meet was over. In the car on the long drive home DH asked her why she wanted to keep going in gymnastics. Her first answer was "I want to keep home-schooling and if I quit gym I will have to go back to regular school." I told her that she could keep home-schooling and that was a separate issue. Her second reason was "I want to see my friends." Of course she will miss her friends, but dd is very outgoing and will be able to make friends anywhere. And her last reason, which was the best one she gave was that she was not sure if she would like any other sport as much as gymnastics. I thought to myself, how will she know if she likes anything else unless she tries something else?
DH said that was all he needed to hear. DH said what he did not hear was dd saying that she loved gymnastics more than anything and wanted to do it more than anything. I asked dd if she would be willing to go to a closer gym and train less hours (wanting to see if she really did love gymnastics and would consider a place with less hours that cost less) dd quickly said she did not want to. That made me feel like she really did not care about the sport as much as I thought.
So, DH has told dd that we are done. I thought she would cry, pout and yell (that is her usual response when she is really upset) but surprisingly she seems happy about the decision. She already seems more relaxed and is really excited about trying snowboarding in a few weeks. I am having a much harder time than dd. I keep thinking about the "what-ifs" and I have been in tears after talking to some other gym moms. After one phone call dd came up to me and said, "Don't worry mom. I did not really want to do the higher level skills anyways."
I guess we were seeing her lack of passion and drive at the meets and that was what led us to this critical moment and big decision for our family. I know that I mentioned the money, and the money is a big part of it. $8000 plus a year is not pocket change, but I think as a family we have come to what is the best decision not entirely based on the money, but on what is best for the family as a whole. I am sure I will get some posts on her saying that we pushed her, she gave up because we were pressuring her etc. The sport does require a little pressure anyways, being a competitive sport, so I will just have to let those comments slide.
Hopefully our journey can help someone else out there. I can't say the process is easy, is has been really hard, but I feel like we are hopeful for more exciting adventures for our dd. Who knows, maybe after a few months she will realize how much she misses gym and we might let her go back and try again. DH says that is not an option, but he is softer than he lets on.