First meet EVER

[emm'sgymmom]

My dd is a level five (10 yrs old), and has only been in gymnastics for one year. She just had her first meet, and her scores were ok...8.25, 8.05, 7.2, and 7.45. She didn't place in any event, and although I thought she did well for her first time EVER in a meet...I had to take a moment to consider something. Am I the only parent that finds it hard to see your dd's team mates get awards, and your dd doesn't? I'm not saying that the SHOULD have gotten one...it's just hard as a parent to watch. My dd didn't seem to be upset, it's just me! Any advice?

 

[vagymmomma]

I've been really lucky after 3 years of competition that DD has always won at least one medal at every meet. However, she has a couple of very close team mates that have at times been in the same position as your daughter. It can be a very hard thing. I've seen plenty of little girls in tears when they don't win anything and it just breaks my heart. If it bothers your daughter, it may be a way to encourage her to work harder or focus a little more -- just be productive with the comments (i.e., if you saw specific skills needing help, common errors like not pointing toes, maybe talk her coach to maybe find areas to focus).

I wish all the girls could win, but unfortunately life doesn't work that way. Good luck -- it's a great sport and I've seen a lot of girls go from last to first as a season progresses. Focus on the progress.

 

[MaryA]

Yes, it can be hard. As parents we want to be able to give our child EVERYTHING. But you have to figure, they're learning as much (if not more) from NOT winning as they are from winning. Praise the effort, praise her scores, "Wow! Those were great scores for your first meet EVER!" (which they were, by the way. My 9-year-old DD's first level 5 scores were lower than that, and she's been competing since level 3 AND placed 1st AA at her level 4 States meet last year), and never let her see that you're dissapointed, even though you are (as are all the other parents whose DD's didn't place). I don't mean that you're dissapointed in her... but that you're dissapointed she didn't come away with some medals to show for all of her effort. The medals (and trust me, there will be medals) will be that much sweeter since they're not a foregone conclusion.

Good luck to you and your daughter in the rest of her level 5 season!

 

[Kiwi]

It is hard, especially when your DD is disappointed at not getting a prize. My DD always wants to get a prize and is very disappointed when she doesn't. I tried to explain to my DD that, with around 40 girls in the competition, everyone can't get a prize. Fortunately she hasn't shown any signs of jealousy towards the girls who did win prizes. I worked on changing the focus for my DD away from prizes and to her own individual improvement, trying to improve her skills and thus improve her scores in the subsequent competitions. That seemed to work well for her and she did improve some of her scores in subsequent competitions. In her third competition she actually was awarded 6th equal place and her team came first, and she was really thrilled to get a prize.

If you say your daughter doesn't seem upset, that's good. Also, I have chatted with the other mums at training, and usually sit with some of them at the competitions and we are all supportive of all the girls from our gym, so we all cheer when any of our girls win prizes.

 

[gym law mom]

Of course you want to hear her name called and see her come up to get a medal. We want to see our children do well and get recognized for it.

You said it didn't really seem to bother your dd, so sounds like she has a good attitude about the whole competitive atmosphere.

I think most of us who have had kids in the sport for a few years have all been through awards ceremonies where your dd just sits and never gets anything. It was 1 meet and there are many more to come. Stay positive and tell her how proud you are of her. Sometimes that means more to the kids than medals.

 

[Panda-girl's Mom]

After being in this sport for a couple years you realize that awards and placement or very subjective. A lot depends on the ages and levels I have seen kids get awards but have lower scores than other kids who do not get anything. If they are in a competive age bracket it is harder to place. it is good that your daughter is able to handle it well.

 

[AlexsGymmyMom]

I know it can be hard! My dd has been fortunate enough to get at least 1 medal or award at any meet she is at but like another poster said it all depends on the age groupings and such. At our last meet my dd was 8th AA in her age group with a 33.6 but her other team mate came in 14th with a 34.050 because she was in a different group. So I am sure your DD will see many medals and awards in the future! This is her very first meet ever and most of the girls she is competing against are a little bit more seasoned in competing!!

 

[gymjoy]

My dd went almost three whole seasons without any medals or placements. She was never really concerned, even if her dad and I were worried and, yes, a bit put off sometimes. (We were constantly told about her potential as a gymnast by all her coaches, none of which seemed to be able to bring out that potential. Granted, she was young and a bit(very) unfocused on details - but loved gymnastics. She didn't have a competitive mind set until she was @10yo and at a gym with coaches who just knew what to do for her.)
Now that she is in the medals, which didn't happen until her 3rd season of L6 but has continued into her optionals seasons, life is actually harder. Meets are more intense and stressful because she is watched and expected to do well. She expects herself to do well. We all tell her to just do her best whatever happens - happens.
My advice is, as always, be patient, be supportive, be humble. It will all work out in the end. It is just gymnastics

 

[bogwoppit]

For us in Quebec it is the other way around. Groups can be huge and medals few. OUr last meet, DD was in a group of 60 girls aged 11&12, they awarded three medals and 5 ribbons on each apparatus. So 52 girls got nothing each time.

FOr us winning anything is rare and winning nothing is normal. SO this has helped me develop a few strategies to deal with meets, and how to make them fun and exciting.

Help her make some goals, and invest yourself in her goals. Things that have nothing to do with scores, placements or judges are the best of course.

Plan a fun activity to celebrate the meet being done, we always go for ice cream and we always agree that it is way better than the meet.

Create some fun phrases that make meets funner. We have "just get over it" for vault and "did you try to take the coaches eyeball out with that flyaway?". things we laugh about, things that are silly and just ours.

THe meets are not all that gym is about and it takes a while to focus on the small things and not on the bling. There were years where one or both of my girls have been in huge groups and then there were a couple of years where they were one of three, and then they got tons of bling. The thing is to not make the winning the most important part, but the hard work, the getting to be good enough to compete and having great team spirit.

 

[emm'sgymmom]

thanks all for your posts... I have to say that it is really easy to get caught up in the crazy world of gymnastics!! My dd is looking forward to her next meet in 3 weeks or so, and I am as well. I have to just remember that gymnastics is a marathon and not a sprint. She practices and competes with girls that have been in the sport for 5 plus years, and I have to remember than she can not be expected to be as seasoned as these girls!!

When I take the time to sit back and consider the facts she has really done an amazing job...One year ago she could hardly do a bridge kickover, and today she has all of her level 5 skills as well as a backwalkover on high beam!!

Thanks again for all the support, and I'm glad that I found this site!!

 

[GymnastJoy]

Congrats to your dd! Those are wonderful scores for a first meet- especially L5 where judging gets more focused on the "little things" that your dd will pick up with experience.

My dd has competed many meets where she has not placed. Thankfully, most of our meets give AA awards for every girl so even last place is recognized (which she has been in). My dd takes it in stride as it sounds like your dd does too which is great. I think I am more bothered worrying about her feelings than she actually is bothered by not placing! I can tell you that this attitude has kept her loving the sport for a lot longer than many of her teammates.

Good luck to your dd in future meets and keep us posted! It's amazing to me that she has only been in gym for a year and is already competing at L5. She should be so proud regardless of scores, placements, and medals. She has accomplished so much so quickly!

 

[UnoMas]

She did great for a first meet!!! You will see those scores inch up and then climb, hopefully. A lot of times the girls just need to really "see" what the judges are looking for before they get really serious about correcting the little things. This is true for my DD who just got a 7.85 on vault at her first L5 meet. She did not believe that she was going to score in the 7's even though her coaches told her she would!

Anyway, I very much understand about the awards thing. My DD had a scary fall on bars this weekend at her first L5 meet and I was devastated for her not to medal on bars because it is the event she takes pride in. So much of the whole "medal" thing does depend on groupings and such, but it is still hard to see them with nothing around their neck. My DD is very hard on herself and gymnastics has been a good learning experience for both of us. It's hard to say that "medals don't mean anything" when the whole point of competitive gym is COMPETING! But, she will go on to have better meets and she will get those medals.

Congrats to her on her first meet!

 

[Megley]

She did great for her first meet ever! Her scores will only go up from here and she no doubt will be getting medals and placements as she gains experience. She is obviously talented to be starting out at Level 5. It is hard to watch your child not get anything, but as long as she is not upset about it, it's best to just let it go. My child is the same way - she does care about how she does but she is not horribly upset if she doesn't medal. I had a coach tell me this is a good thing. Kids who are super upset, crying, etc. over not doing well likely are putting too much pressure on themselves or are getting pressure from somewhere else. It's this type of pressure that can lead to all sorts of perforance issues, fears, etc., down the road. I've seen it first hand. So honestly, it's a good thing that your dd is relaxed about it!! She will make improvements and be medalling in no time!

 

[Bajanswife]

Yes, I feel really badly for DD when she doesn't win anything - especially when we've had to go through a lot just to get to the meet! She wants so badly to be one of the best - she hates being somewhere in the middle. Yes, she has a competitive spirit! One day when she's a little older and more mature, she may be able to turn that spirit into real effort and achievement. Right now gym is just fun, and she doesn't put any real effort into staying tight, pointing toes etc. One day it will click that loose bodies and unpointed toes are the biggest source of deductions (barring huge mess-ups), and if she really wants to win she needs to pay attention to those things. I try to remind her of those things gently, but I don't want to nag her and make her feel like gym isn't "fun" anymore.