MAG Friends quitting

[skschlag]

So, D is at the age where lots of his friends are giving up the sport. His 2 best friends have both quit in the last month. One more is talking about it.

D isn't wavering, but I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions for me to help him with this. I always worry about the peer effect, with so many quitting and moving on, that he will start to have regrets. So far he is just as dedicated as ever, but I worry with losing so many same-age peers that it will be a tough year.

 

[iwannacoach]

On the bright side........ You'll both find out if he's there to be a gymnast or a social butterfly.

 

[emilykatherine]

I know I'm not a boy but about a year ago I had 6 other girls on my team my age, all of them quit within 2 months of each other, it was hard the next kid close to my age is 2 years younger than me, but I realized that it's better more kids look up to me and I love it

 

[skschlag]

thanks emilykatherine. I am hoping that works for him. Especially if he 2 older kids that are considering leaving do leave. It is os hard to watch all your friends leave...and you stick around!

 

[magmom]

I don't have any advice to give. But, from what you've said about your son, he doesn't seem the type to jump off a cliff just because everyone else is doing it. I bet he'll be fine as long as he keeps focusing on getting ready for the season.

And I like emilykatherine's point about being a role model for the younger kids. It makes a huge difference to our younger compulsory boys when one of the optionals gives them a compliment or takes a moment to help them with something.

 

[skschlag]

Thanks. I think I am getting nervous about nothing All the boys who are quitting have been wavering for a year or more. I just know what a hard age this is!

Thanks

 

[KCHAMP]

That's always stressful so I understand your concern. Even when they love it, they spend enough time there that you/they want it to be fun as well. Will there still be some boys around his age on the team?

 

[skschlag]

close. He is the only one his age, but there are a couple a year or 2 older. And younger.

 

[munchkin3]

That must be so hard for him. Once they quit, they really dont 'stay in touch' that much either with the time gymnastics demands......it just sucks.
My son's gym fell apart and it was a process of about 6 months. The main driver was a bad news coach who was breaking all the teenagers and they started quitting one by one. It was sad to see but happily, they have hired a new coach to replace the old one. Things are much better with morale now.

My 14 yo son left during this process (before we got new coach) and he is now at a gym with MANY MANY boys his age.....he is so happy there because now he has guys his age all DOING GYMNASTICS!!!! its the best of both worlds. I do wish he had waited but oh well...its done.

the one 13 yo Level 9 who stayed behind is by himself with all young L4s and 5s. From what I can see, he is working very hard and new coach is really able to focus on him and that is good. There is no more drama and just hard work. I think he will have a great season and he will be the pride and joy of new coach for sticking it out with him.

There are pros and cons to everything. As long as he loves doing gymnastics, he will hang on.....

 

[skschlag]

Just lost 2 more level 9 and 10

 

[gymmomx2]

Wow, how big is the team in the first place?

I have heard a coach say: "Girls - teach them as much as possible before puberty hits, boys - just keep them in the sport until puberty and they can take off from there". It can be so hard to keep those boys once they are teenagers Hopefully my son hangs in there (he's 11 now).

 

[skschlag]

Let's see..right now we have 2 level 10s, one of which has wanted to quit for 2 years, and one that is flaky, 4 level 9s (one who might quit), 3 or 4 level 8s (one who doesn't want to compete, and 2 that barely competed 5 last year), 1 7, 1 6, and 7 5s. I think we will just be really bottom heavy for a while. IT is funny, when D was in 5/6, we were top heavy. I guess it is cyclical!

 

[munchkin3]

Why are they quitting, what is going on with the coaching? Or is it morale? I remember when the 'im quitting' bug came through and it was bad.....But I truly believe the captain of the ship (coach) can fix it......they need so motivation and some positive goals.....Can you talk to the coaches and have them give these guys a pep talk?

Are the kids all leaving for another gym? Or are they just quitting....that's a big difference.

 

[skschlag]

They are just quitting. nothing else. SOme were on the fence before, and one or 2 have lingering injuries that are just getting to be too much. I really don't think it has to do with coaching. or at least not, new coach.

Last year was hard. Our hc that ended up quitting was barely present. Boys made little to no progress. We never knew which coach woudl be at meets, or at practice. Several practices, we had NO coach. I thikn THAT took the toll on the team, and the results are what are coming now with school starting etc.

I am hoping it is goign to stablize here. It is just so negative with the "quitting" talk. Fortunately, these 2 boys didn't talk about it in practice, just made the decision. One might come back if he can specialize on3 events. I say..let him!!

Oh, the drama ;(

 

[munchkin3]

Ok, well then its not that they are going somewhere else, which basically means that for those wanting to do gymnastics, they will be in THAT gym.....thats good!
As far as the negative feel, i think you should see if the coach can grab the bull by the horns. TALK ABOUT IT.........i do know a few coaches who hate 'talking' about this kind of drama, but sometimes a quick 15 minute chat about the direction of the team, and addressing the boys who left is very important.
Season starts soon, hopefully they will begin to focus on what matters .....gymnastics.

Good luck hang in there!!!!! I know the drama is EXHAUSTING!! it will be over soon!!!!

 

[sbonham]

I hope some effort is being made by gym management - as to discovering the reasons individually that each boy left the program. Getting to the heart of the matter is often complicated... and sometimes a "fix" can be made to turn things around. Yes, sometimes boys just decide it's too much time - away from other friends (the ones outside gymnastics). Other times it's a problem with; lack of progress, poor training (often resulting in injury) regime, inadequate motivational process (needs to be intrinsic, based on personal progress and concrete - recognition is often overlooked - - a newsletter, TV interview, an exhibition at a school function, a youtube video - or feature on the gym webpage, a personal word of acknowledgement to parents, etc. ALL can have very powerful positive impact. All these have to be planned for... most coaches do not actively promote their programs as they should.

 

[skschlag]

Steve-
you are right on many levels. Last season, our coach was divided between the team and his business. He missed practices, meets (State), and really didn't have the focus for the boys. ALL of that was happening. Then he quit. This summer we had no coach.

We did hire a coach that seems to be great, but all of the past year was just too much on some of the boys. I am hoping the "bleeding" is stopping though!