Parents Frustrated not sure how to handle...

[munchkin3]

I really do understand where you are coming from.....
Several months ago, when my DD was placed in a group which I felt was 'below' her....(you can search my history! LOL.)
There was a younger more immature girl, who was always late, and never focuses. Another girl who my DD beat at the score out, and she is sloppy. Both girls were put in the group above mine. My DD was place with the weakest athletes and I was quietly offended (I did not say anything). About a month into it, it was clear my DD was the strongest in her group. But the 3 girls ended up being moved down.....so now my DD has her 3 besties with her and they are all competing 6.
The difference being, my DD is so excited for being the strongest in her group......her three friends feel that they were demoted and are no good because they moved down.
My guess is all these girls will move to L7/8 when they have their skills.....they are just not there 100% yet.....

 

[Sweetbrunette00]

Yea that is true.
I love that she is one of the stronger ones and it gives her confidence.
I was so proud of her the other day they were working in a rotation on floor skills.
She was paired with one of the excel girls that moved up who can't do a leap or back extension roll. My daughter helped show her while there coach was working with someone else and when she did it a little bit better my daughter was excited for her and cheered her on.
The only problem I feel with being a stronger one is that the coaches don't give you criticism or pay attention to her because they already know she can do it so they don't pay attention.

 

[mom2newgymnast]

OP, I can see why you are frustrated, and I probably would be too. But, as I think a lot of people here are saying, sometimes it really isn't fair and there just isn't much you can do about it. I am sure there is some reason this other girl was put on the "A" team, whether it be a good reason or not (in your opinion). I don't think you are going to be able to do much about that.

As far as what will happen with your dd though, a couple of questions.. How many practices have they had since the new groups were announced? If it's only been a couple of days/weeks, I'd just give it time. Like you said, they are going to have to get the other girls up to speed before they can really start training the level 3 skills. Perhaps it will only be a couple of weeks until things get better. One thing I was wondering though is why they are having so many repeat level 3? Did they have any move to level 4? By my count (could be wrong), 7 out of 10 of the "A" group are repeating. How big was the level 3 team last year? How big was the level 4 team? How did the level 3's and 4's last year do in competition? How many hours a week does your dd's group compete? Were there only 6 level 2's last year? Sorry for all of the questions!

I'm a little confused by the move up/team thing to be honest. It sounds like your gym might be one that keeps them in compulsories a while? I agree that it would be very hard to advance to level 3 and be able to compete if you have to learn all the skills in 4-5 months and they aren't even working on them yet.

 

[Sweetbrunette00]

I'm not sure how big it was last year but there are a few girls that are repeating that I'm surprised to see repeat.
The gym is small and only goes up to L6-7.
There were 10 girls on level 2 with my dd only 6 moved up and 4 left because they had to go to excel. So they went to another gym that took them as lv3s.
Last year I asked one of her coaches how the process of moving up works she flat out informed me some will move up even if they don't have the needed skills to make room for girls below that need to move up.
I think I should give it more time it's just frustrating to hear her frustrated because I know how hard she worked and I don't want her to be taken off the team in May because her group couldn't keep up so she didn't get to practice her skills.

 

[Sweetbrunette00]

I just don't know how to ask because I want to say that I noticed in particle that they are working on a lot of skills from level 2 and the new skills she just learned aren't being practiced and what the plan is to help her achieve them by May.
And that I noticed the other group is getting to practice them.
I know the coach will say well they are repeating and already know them because I know I'll say well 3 of them were with my daughter why do they get to and I don't want to come across like that because I really try not to be like that. It's just hard when my daughter starts to notice that sort of thing.
It just seems unfair to not be having them work on the same skills.
They should all be relatively at the same level or should be placed accordingly we are all paying the same and the girls are all putting in the same hours.
I just don't think there should be such a huge gap and difference in the groups. My dd is inbetween the two bc she's not any where near the repeat girls skill level but she's more advanced than the girls that never competed form preteam and excel.
So now she is going backward instead of forward

 

[munchkin3]

I would say, instead of' I noticed the other girls.....'
When can my DD begin practicing L3 skills?
What does she need in order to move up?
What can she do to be in the stronger group?
This sits a bit better with coaches.....coaches hate hearing, the other girls are doing this, and mine should too.

 

[Sweetbrunette00]

Yea exactly what I don't want to say or come across.
I think that will be the best approach.
Thank you!

 

[Sasha]

My dd is in between the two bc she's not any where near the repeat girls skill level but she's more advanced than the girls that never competed form preteam and excel.
So now she is going backward instead of forward

The reality is, if there are multiple girls from Xcel (or anywhere) coming in that haven't practiced the skills, generally the coach's primary responsibility is to "the group" and, yes, this typically means more emphasis on "bringing up the bottom" to meet the minimum requirements than "developing the top." A good coach can still incorporate drills for the more advanced kids in a group so that kids are working some different things, but this does take more effort, planning, and experience, and so not every coach will invest in this strategy, especially at the low/intro levels. The coach might just lump levels 2-3 as all "basic skills" and not worry too much until kids have developed the physical conditioning and coordination and are seriously training for level 4 and up. I suspect this might be true in a gym that tops out at level 6-7....no rush, no upper optionals or elites to worry about 'getting ahead', just repeating basics/Compulsories for team scores, so worrying about whether a kid does 2 or 3 in a particular year matters very very little in this type of gym.

Though I'm still wondering the age of your DD in question here - as in are we talking about a 5 year old or a 9 year old?

If on the younger side, I can see more rationale in the "level 2-3 skills doesn't really matter, it's all basics and no hurry", whereas if your daughter is perhaps 8+, it might be time to look for another gym if she has some talent and drive and wishes to move a bit faster. Lots of variables.

Hope you find some insights in your talk with the coach!

 

[Sweetbrunette00]

She will be 8 in May

 

[Sweetbrunette00]

We are already planning to move her once she has the skills needed for level 4. This gym is like you described and we only moved her because it was closer to home and it was okay for her basic level skills. I don't want her to get stuck in a gym that isn't serious and just is in it for the money and team scores instead of each girls potential.i notice a lot of girls leave that are. More serious gymnasts after level 3.

 

[Sasha]

She will be 8 in May

8 is on the mid side for level 3, but older for level 2, I'd say. (Of course this widely varies).

At nearly 8, she is old enough to see and feel the difference in training or expectations in a group, and to have some perspective on her goals. I would definitely pursue the coach conversation as at her age, competing level 3 next season should be her goal if she was successful at L2 (sounded like she was). If the training group really will hold her back from that, I would be concerned as well. If she was age 5 or 6, perhaps she could spend more time hanging out developing body coordination, but ultimately it sounds like a move will be in order, so doing what you can to ensure the time she spends in her current gym is well used doesn't sound unreasonable.

That type of gym is fine for many kids who will ultimately get through at a slower pace, have fun, be part of a team, gain all the life-skills we love about the sport, and probably not go on to higher optionals (nothing wrong with that). But if your child has more interest and potential in gymnastics, and you don't get the kind of response you're hoping for from the coach, it might be time for her to try on other gyms earlier. Just a suspicion based on what you've shared.

 

[mom2newgymnast]

How long has it been since they changed groups?

 

[Sweetbrunette00]

They just changed groups in December.
She only did one year of level 2 so this is her first time on level 3.

 

[needcoffee]

Is your DD happy? Or not? My opinion may be wildly unpopular, but I think we pay far too much money for his sport for kids to walk into practice every day and be frustrated and unhappy. If she's all good, then don't even stress about it. You will have many more things to stress about if she continues in gymnastics.

If she's desperately unhappy, I'd have a conversation with the coaches about it, and decide where you want to go from there. I had a similar situation last year, and asked for my DD to be moved to the "higher" group. Not because I thought she was better than the other group, but because the "lower" group had a revolving door of coaches (5 in 6 months) and it was having a very negative effect. It worked out fine and she was moved, but we may have moved on from the gym if she wasn't. I seriously pay too much money to have an unhappy kid. It's meant to be a fun, enjoyable activity!

 

[Sweetbrunette00]

She loves what she does I think she was just frustrated because she worked hard to get the new skills and get on level 3 and she noticed they aren't doing them but the other group is.
She is happy which is my concern bc I don't want her to continue to be frustrated because the rest of her group is behind.
They all use the same group of coaches and are all considered level 3 it's just mainly the first group is repeat girls.
I agree with paying money for the sport... I think that I'm paying the same fees and money that the other group is so I expect her to be training the same I know that each girl has individual needs but if ongoing to pay level 3 payments and fees then I expect her to get the same training as the first group, not playing games and maybe working on one skill for the entire week for only one practice .

 

[NutterButter]

Another perspective for you...how many hours per week were the Xcel kids training? Were they training less hours than your DD was? Was this Xcel group being groomed for JO or to remain in Xcel? If it's the latter, I could see where these kids may not have the same skill set and perhaps the coaches know that they will quickly be able to 'catch up' to where the rest of the group is. This happened to my DD when she switched to JO from Xcel. She had some catch up work to do that's for sure but within 6 weeks she was with the rest of her new L4 group (she could not kip and had never done a back extension roll). It sounds like the groups are very new so maybe for now just wait another month and see what happens.

My DD has been in both the A and the B group before though she tends to spend more time in the B group because she tends to take longer to get skills. This has not held her back at all in the long run.

Curious, you already know you want to change gyms, why are you waiting?

 

[ErinEclectic]

My DD has been in a similar situation. Last year she was given the opportunity to compete level 2 starting mid season but we didn't think she was quite ready yet and we couldnt afford the fees on short notice. Fortunately the gym let her train with the girls competing and she learned the routines alongside the girls on team.

Over the summer it came time to uptrain and the girls she was training with were uptraining level 3-5 skills. DD is a slow and cautious gymmie and training the higher level skills was stressful for her. She was doing right on par with most of the girls for the lvl 3 skills though. After a very bad day at the gym with a breakdown over not wanting to go for a squat on unspotted, the coaches decided to move her back down to level 2. At the time there were no other level 2 girls so she continued to train with the level 3 girls but didn't do as much uptraining.

Come fall, another girl moved to the gym that was level 2 but didn't know the routines or have her bar skills. She and DD trained together, DD even helped teach her the routines. New girl progressed quickly and both did very well at lvl 2 meets.

Just after fall season ended, a bunch of girls were moved up to lvl 2 with the intent to compete in spring. Most of the new girls had never conditioned, still had to be spotted on everything, some even handstands, etc. the first spring meet is in a couple of weeks and the new girls are starting to be able to do most of their routines unspotted.

Has it been hard to watch my daughter be "behind" girls she used to train with? Yes. Do I wish she hadn't of had a meltdown over the squat on? Yes, especially since she got it two weeks later. Is being in lvl 2 bad for her? No, I don't think so. It's helping her build her confidence and concentrate more on form than worrying about getting the skills in time.

My advice would be to take a step back, make sure you are calm and open to what the coaches have to say, and ask what the plan is for your daughter.

 

[sce]

So she has been in this new group only a few weeks? Since level 2 and 3 skills overlap, it's possible all you've seen is the start of the plan. It is most likely that they will move on to more advanced skills over time. Also, you never mentioned the age of the other training group, are thee all older than your dd?

 

[OzZee]

It sounds like no one is up training the new skills yet? The repeat level 3s are doing 3 skills and the just moving to 2/3 group are doing 2 skills. Your dd isn't repeating 3, but all the lower group are expected to compete 3?
So they must be working on getting them to train the 3 skills soon once everyone is closer to the same stage.

Always ignore what others are doing. What that other child does is her journey, who cares.
If your dd is bored or unhappy it's a problem if she is happy it's not a problem.
Heck most of gymnastics looks boring to me. But they love it.

 

[Sweetbrunette00]

Yea you guys are all right .
Exactly why I reached out I needed to see another perspective.
I'm not sure what the excel girls trained I think it was 2 days a week for 2 hours.
The age of the other group is mixed they aren't divided by ages so I'm not sure it's mainly repeats with 3 girls from my dd previous group.
They are all being trained for level 3 and are all going to compete as long as each individual girl has their skills.
I just know from watching last year that in the B group the girls were always behind and never worked on the same skills and always scored lower and only 2 from that group moved up the rest were moved to excel which is not the path my daughter wants.

We moved her to this gym 2 years ago bc it was closer to home and worked better for our schedules she did preteam and level 2 so far.
We have been already planning to move her because the gym doesn't offer many optionals and there isn't much room to grow after level 4.
I think they may have an optionals 8 this year but that's it.
So this was just a gym closer to home to help her grow and gain the basic skills. But since they do not have upper levels or anything it is not a gym that any of the girls ever stay at if they want to keep working towards higher optionals or anything