Parents Frustrated

[Deleted member 14190]

you said,
"Wednesday at practice she wasn't applying corrections - things she's been doing just fine for months now. Her coach was getting very frustrated (rightfully so). My bigger issue is the lack of discipline in the gym, and I was incredibly frustrated watching girls do things like play on mats and push each other around instead of being focused on practicing and the coaches allowing it to happen. I expect more discipline, especially in this sport."
"I am at every workout"
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I am not here to annoy or offend you so this will be my last post here,,,, Going off of what you have said,,,, you are watching practice every day and getting frustrated, expect more discipline, are annoyed that your DD is not listening and she is having too much fun ... Correct? If correct then, I suspect she could be feeling your emotions, presence and getting turned off of the whole sport (think about it, who wouldn't).... Try dropping her off at gym and not watching for 3 weeks, ( even if she BEGS and cries for you to stay)... If at the end of 3 weeks her attitude is not better at home and in the gym then at least you tried. You have nothing to lose by trying this. Hope it all works out in any case.

 

[COz]

Could be the gym atmosphere/rebellion against coach that has perhaps lost her respect, but she doesn't want to miss out on gym, or there really could be something happening at school.
Our 4.5 yo has been bullied at school and she didn't realise initially what was happening. Once she did, she got less and less communicative until she would just shrug in response to all enquiries. This was about the same time that she started sleeping badly before school nights but fine on days off, including when we had mid week days off for other appointments.
Are there any other clues that might give you a hint as to whether it might be gym or school related?

(We knew that bullying was in the equation, but when it got worse, she consistently denied that it was happening.)

 

[emorymom]

Could be really anything. Nobody brought up food allergies and illnesses -- these can come up out of nowhere. For example, Celiac, which is usually misdiagnosed initially, can cause "brain fog" from inflammation, which could explain her behavior. Also, a friend of mine's kid had behavior issues for years that was finally diagnosed at age 11 as a dairy allergy causing (drumroll) swollen adenoids causing YEARS OF SLEEP APNEA so the kids was running on empty all day. IMO the first step when kids have behavioral and performance problems is a medical workup to rule out an illness.

 

[rjb123]

I have a (new!!) 8 year old as well. She is in the gym around 17 hours a week. Can't get enough. Eager to get corrections/ apply them as well as she can. HOWEVER she can have a bad day and be less than her usual self in the gym. I catch the end of practice when I pick up most days and see this from time to time. Usually she is just tired, or fighting a cold or whatever. However, if I noticed a trend of this, bad attitude in school, home etc I would have a little chat. I would likely give a few days off from the gym (meet or no meet!) to figure out if this is truly what she wants. She may just be over tired. She may just not want to do gym at the level it is being discussed. (JO team move is being discussed you said). She may just want more time to play with her friends or whatever. Eight is YOUNG. They are being asked to commit their whole little lives to going to school and gym and if it is not them driving the bus, kids could get mad. Or sad. Or act out in ways to try to get out of it.
Just a thought.

 

[purpleleomom]

Just wanted to chime in with support even though I don't have much advice. My DD is 8 and in 2nd grade. I'm assuming yours might be 2nd grade as well, and I just want to day that this is a really demanding year. I can't get over the amount my DD has learned this year - think about how much work goes into that. Add into it the increasing demands of a young gymnast. The year is almost over, and I would imagine kids are tired. Thank goodness for spring break. I hope yours is just in a bit of a rut, but I would echo the suggestion to drop at practice and run. They need the independence and to feel like it's their sport.

 

[Irishone21]

I frankly don't think that this is normal 8 yo behavior at all, especially if she has never been like this before. Something's going on, and I can't tell you what but either she wants out of gym; is being bullied at school or gym or something else but I wouldn't chalk this up to her being 8....

OP, I respectfully disagree with this sentiment that it is not 'normal' 8 year old behavior. I have a 7 yo, training l3, who is head-strong and stubborn. While she is not displaying the exact behaviors you mention, she does have a (way beyond her years) attitude at times and can be very difficult to deal with at home. Everywhere else (i.e. school, the gym) she is fine, people tell me all the time how sweet she is. Meanwhile, I'm ready to throw her out the window...lol.
There is obviously something bothering her, the hard part is to find out what that is. As PP said, could be something at school, maybe she's bored at the gym, tired etc...... I think her behavior is a normal reaction to whatever is stressing her out. You will figure it out, it is probably just going to take some time and maybe a little space. Good luck!

 

[meganliz77]

Maybe someone already said this.... But 8 is not too young to start dealing with those inevitable changes girls go through! My oldest DD started going thru "changes" at 8 and by 10, the biggest change (if you catch my drift) occurred.. And boy was she ever moody, mouthy and up and down emotionally(thank goodness she will be 13 this next month and things have improved over the last couple years) ... It's tough being a girl. She might be experiencing things she cannot even express, that might not even be related to gymnastics.... Or it might be a little of everything that others have touched on. Good luck!