Parents Getting Evaluated at another Gym

[bookworm]

Well that's an unfortunate turn of events...she was level 2 and hoping to be a 3 at age 8...is there really a big skill difference between level 2 and 3 that they couldn't have moved her, or at least train her with the 3s? Enlighten me if so because I haven't had any one at that level but I would've thought even from an encouragement standpoint , she could've moved to 3. Heck, even if they said well we'll train her at 3 and if she doesn't get whatever magic skill is needed, she's going to have to compete 2 until she gets it. It just seems like the gym is good with taking your money for as long as you want to give it, but definitely giving you the message that upward mobility there probably isn't happening...

I do agree with the OP that the gym seems to have "moved on" from his daughter, and at this point, I don't think it would be a bad idea to move her to a gym that would let her compete on some type of team. The OP mentioned that teams may not want her "body type" but at 8, what type are we talking about here? I think if your gym is ruling her out by her body habitus, move along because nothing good will come from that. My girls were opposite body types...one muscular and one taller and lankier, and both were successful ...so gymnastics is for all types.

 

[Flyaway]

Oh I'm so sorry for your dd. I'm in 100% agreement - time to gym shop. And honestly, I don't say that lightly because I'm usually the one advocating to wait it out. But this whole situation smells to me, I'm inclined to agree with Bookworm above - the gym likes your money. Well that's true of all gyms, so you might as well find one that is at least willing to work with your dd while taking your money. I do hope your dd bounces back from this. ((hugs))

 

[Sasha]

I'm sorry @NY Dad - that is a hard thing to hear. I don't know all the reasons you are inclined to stay where you are, but I agree with others that if your daughter really wants to compete, she may not be in the right place. She is 8 - young enough to make lots of different kinds of teams at Level 3, but not so young you really want to wait around another year. If it's just friends and coaches keeping you there, honestly, kids adjust so fast to a new environment that is better fitting their needs. If you stay because of friends and coaches, often they leave, too, so that's never even a guarantee.

Sometimes kids need us to steer them into what is ultimately going to be best for them. IMO there is not much reason at all to keep an 8 year old in L2, especially at a Y program. If she truly is 'lacking' in some area that points to limited success in JO, then get her into AAU, Xcel, or equivalent and let her compete, gain new skills, and have fun on another kind of team.

Obviously I don't know everything about your daughter, your family, and your nearby options, but just encouraging you that lots of our kiddos have been rejected for various reasons, only to be discovered by a different gym family and go on to surpass their peers who originally were moved ahead. So common. Best of luck deciding your next steps from here.

 

[SMH]

I'm sorry! I agree with everyone else- time to gym shop and find a place willing to put some time and effort into your daughter, and steer her in the right direction in gymnastics, whatever that may be. Did they give you any direct feedback about their decision?

 

[MeetDirector]

NY Dad -

As you recall, I gave you some brutal honesty shortly after you joined this amazing community. I think its time for that again. If your daughter has the passion for this sport at her young age, you need to get her to a club that will feed that passion, not one that will artificially hold her back due to some unstated criteria. Find another gym and let her soar.

Good Luck.

 

[Mrs. Puma]

I'm so sorry!! This sport certainly has its ups and downs... Hopefully she will bounce back well from the disappointment and things will work out one way or the other!

 

[John]

I agree, time to move. It seems ridiculous to me that an 8-year-old can't compete regardless of skill level. Olympics or college aren't in many's futures, but if your child wants to compete and winning is not what she is about then she should be able to compete. I have always wondered why JO cares so much about scores. Seriously some kids just like the thrill of competition and the knowledge they are better today than yesterday.

 

[duyetanh]

While I agree it is time to go, it doesnt sound like the op's child wants to. It is probably a time for a heart to heart. If she doesnt want to compete, then stay where you are. But if that fire still burns, it is probably time for a heart to heart, explaining why a move is necessary.

 

[dancemom]

NYdad-
Did you ever get your dd evaluated at the other gym for summer training, or can you still do it?
Did your dd compete L2 or was she training 2 & hoping to compete L3?
Were you able to talk with her current coach to see why she wasn't moved up & what their future plans may be?
Summer training is in full-force & you need to make a decision soon. Try out other options asap. Many gyms only take 5/6 year olds to team, and while 8 is very young, it isn't in girls' gymnastics. If she wants to compete, you can't stay in rec classes another year and hope the current gym will advance her eventually.
I'm so sorry you're in this situation.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

While I agree it is time to go, it doesnt sound like the op's child wants to. It is probably a time for a heart to heart. If she doesnt want to compete, then stay where you are. But if that fire still burns, it is probably time for a heart to heart, explaining why a move is necessary.

This. One must be first be clear it's about the child's passion, not the parents.

 

[Mrs. Puma]

This. One must be first be clear it's about the child's passion, not the parents.

I definitely agree with this, but from everything NYdad has said I believe his daughter really wants to compete badly. I hope it can work out!

 

[amiandjim]

OP, I know you have gotten a lot of opinions and that you and your DD must be disappointed. I hate to jump on the bandwagon but I would absolutely take her to be evaluated somewhere else. My DD was previously a level 2 at a smallish, not very competitive gym and it was quite obvious, even to her, the coach didn't believe in her. She competed level 2 and did pretty mediocre, occasionally placing 5/6 on an event. After that season, we moved to a very competitive gym and they did have her repeat level 2 but only because we didn't move until August and first meet was in November. She had an amazing level 2 season and now just 2 months after state, has all her level 3 skills and they look very good! She is one of the top girls in her training group! The new gym saw her potential (which I always believed was there but I'm the mom ya know?) and really pushed her. They recently invited her to the extra invite only practice as well.

I know this is long but my point is, had I listened to the coaches at the old gym, we might have just given up. But I knew she was driven, strong, and could do it!! And she has....give your DD the chance to the same.

 

[SuperMama]

Sorry to hear your DD didn't make the team but it sounds like she handled it well. I hope she still celebrates the progress she's made and stays the course doing a sport she loves.

 

[JMACAZ]

Just another vote to look for another gym if possible

 

[NY Dad]

Thanks for all the encouragement and words of wisdom. (And sorry for the long post)

As you recall, I gave you some brutal honesty shortly after you joined this amazing community. I think its time for that again...

Find another gym and let her soar.

Yes, I recall, thanks and thanks.
To MeetDirector and everyone else, I appreciate your candor.

Every time I ask a question on CB you give me unexpected answers, teach me something new, and show me different perspectives. I’ve come to expect the unexpected and you have not let me down. I was not prepared for such a consensus about my dd’s situation. (Actually, I never expect a consensus about anything on CB )

Did you ever get your dd evaluated at the other gym for summer training, or can you still do it?
Did your dd compete L2 or was she training 2 & hoping to compete L3?

- I didn't get her evaluated because I had assumed she was going to make the team and I thought it was a bad idea for her to train as part of another gym's team camp. When I initially called I was told that she would need to attend a regular team practice to be evaluated for their team camp but then I never followed up and now their regular season is over.
- She was on level 2 pre-team. At her gym they do not compete until level 3.

Did they give you any direct feedback about their decision?

The letter I received said to call with questions so I called. Her coach told me that my dd did not make the team b/c of her fear on bars and beam. I was trying to understand the specifics because in my eyes she held her own.

He said that they aren’t psychologists they’re coaches and she needs to get past her fears so they can coach her. He said it’s holding her back. He said she’s too hesitant, the other gymnasts do what they are asked to do, she’s hesitates even with a spotter.

It sounds like they based their decision on what they think of her potential (based on her fear) rather than on the skills that I saw (level 3 routines).

Initially I was hopeful that she would have an opportunity to try out again after a summer of low pressure gymnastics camp (separate from the girls that are moving up to team). I figured she might have some time to work through her fear issues. But when I asked, her coach was pretty clear that she would not get evaluated again until next year.

I will tell her that if she wants to be on a team it’s going to have to be at another gym. It is going to be her decision. She's been happy at her gym and with her coach so I don't want to risk losing that unless she knows the stakes. She needs to understand that we may not be able to go back if she tries out at another gym and things don't work out.

Summer training is in full-force & you need to make a decision soon. Try out other options asap. Many gyms only take 5/6 year olds to team, and while 8 is very young, it isn't in girls' gymnastics. If she wants to compete, you can't stay in rec classes another year and hope the current gym will advance her eventually.

Thanks, that what I was thinking but you spelled it out clearly for me.

Thanks again to everyone that has helped to clarify this situation for me.

 

[Mish]

@NY Dad, obviously you are in New York, why are they deciding her team status for next year now? The competition season for compulsory levels doesn't start until the fall. That gives her all summer to get the skills to move up. Honestly, I would explore other options at this point.

 

[sce]

@NY Dad, obviously you are in New York, why are they deciding her team status for next year now? The competition season for compulsory levels doesn't start until the fall. That gives her all summer to get the skills to move up. Honestly, I would explore other options at this point.

I don't think the timing is out if the ordinary. Most gyms decide team by thus time or earlier. They then train over the summer to prepare for meet season. In my area we are signing up for meets already, so the coach has had to asses who she thinks will be ready. Sounds like NyDads dd is currently not what his gym wants in a team kid.

 

[MabelSt]

I think I'd check out a usaigc, xcel, or not intense jo gym and switch her.

 

[MabelSt]

It's not clear if she cares about competing or intense training, but if her coaches don't believe in her I don't think she'll want to stay there long. She needs somewhere positive. If she can do level 3 routines abd they don't want her because she's hesitant that is sad I think they're unfairly being harsh because she had an injury and has a reasonable fear. It could ve that due to her injury she does have fear of bars and beam now. Maybe she could push past it but maybe she doesn't want to. She could have ptsd from the injury. Idk. There are a lot of options. I don't think this is the gym for her. I hope she finds the gym or the sport that makes her happy. Has she tried rock climbing?

 

[my4buffaloes]

If I remember correctly your dd got her at that gym right? So her fears make sense - especially for someone so young. It sounds like she doesn't trust the coaches - and the coaches don't sound like they will budge on supporting her. They have their mind made up. A fresh start somewhere else could make a world of difference in your dd's gymnastics career.