Parents Guilt about different levels

[munchkin3]

I'm feeling bad tonight since I just found out from head coach the my DD's good gym friend (and mom is my BFF) will not make the next level.
I bumped into head coach at the store and we talked freely....I asked if my DD would make L7 and he said she's already doing all the routines......I asked if she would have plenty of teammates and he said yes, that many were repeating their level except a few.....I asked about my friends DD and he looked disappointed and said he didn't think so.....
I know this will crush my friend.....mom is very competitive and the repeating factor will be a hard pill to sallow.
Just feeling bad....although I will keep praying she gets her skills for 7, I will have to carry this information around quietly.......

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Its a bummer and it is what it is. Sorry.

 

[Gymmommy71]

IMO the coach shouldn't have told you that information about the other girl. Discussing other athlete's competition levels and skill acquisitions w/ other parents is unprofessional and just not right. What if that mom and girl don't appreciate another parent knowing her daughter's level before even her? What if next season that coach is telling other moms that your daughter will be repeating her level before you even know?

Coach should have just said yeah, there may be some repeaters, but I'm not going to discuss specific kids.

 

[ladybird]

^^^^^Exactly! This happens at our gym and it makes me really uncomfortable knowing someone's status before they do. On the flip side, one year the HC told one of the higher level girls that my dd was moving up before WE even knew.

 

[Flyaway]

I'm sorry you're in that situation and I agree the coach should not have told you. You cannot control the progress of other children and it's not your Dd's responsibility either. Just encourage her to continue to be a good friend and you do the same.

 

[MILgymFAM]

It's a shame about her friend. I'm sure both girls will be disappointed, but that's the reality of the sport. Her friend may very well catch up or even surpass her in future seasons. Do the L6s and L7s not train together? That's been common at my DDs gyms. I agree that the coach shouldn't speak so freely about kids other than your own. That would be more concerning to me than the information itself.

 

[mariposa]

This happens all the time in gymnastics, kids move at their own pace. Coach shouldn't have told you anything, it's unprofessional and it's none of your business about any kid but yours. And honestly, I would be a little upset with any friend that even asked about my kid.

 

[Muddlethru]

Agree. Coach should not have given out this information. It certainly would not sit well with me if my "friend" and the coach discussed my daughter in any shape or form behind my back. My daughter has had some really good gym friends and I've gotten close to some of the mothers, but I have never or would never discuss their daughter with the coach. It really is none of my business. There have been mothers that have tried to get information on my daughter from the coach or even from me. I think mostly these mothers have no other intention but to know how their daughter stack up. Your inquiry may or may not have been innocent but there is nothing positive that could cone out of it,

 

[GYM0M]

I'll admit that I've asked our coaches specifically about other gymnast's levels, but only because of scheduling conflicts, both on the gym calendar and in my own calendar. In my particular case, I got the answer i was looking for, but not the one I wanted.......so I agree, nothing good ever comes out of it.

 

[munchkin3]

I agree, he should not have said anything.....but actually, most coaches I know like 'talking'! LOL.....give a coach a beer? What out!! LOL

What bummed me out is that he confirmed what I already knew. I will just try and prepare my friend for the 'possibility' and remind her that her DD needs to be at the level she will succeed.
Plus, she may get the few last skills from now until November....

 

[munchkin3]

Agree. Coach should not have given out this information. It certainly would not sit well with me if my "friend" and the coach discussed my daughter in any shape or form behind my back. My daughter has had some really good gym friends and I've gotten close to some of the mothers, but I have never or would never discuss their daughter with the coach. It really is none of my business. There have been mothers that have tried to get information on my daughter from the coach or even from me. I think mostly these mothers have no other intention but to know how their daughter stack up. Your inquiry may or may not have been innocent but there is nothing positive that could cone out of it,

It wasn't an inquiry.....it was a general statement about if my DD would have her friends with her and he said yes, some, and some repeaters.....my DD asked about her BFF and he gave me a look....my DD walked away to get something and he just said he didn't think so....the conversation was all very general about gym changes, the season, the program, the new rules....then the conversation about groupings....

 

[Deleted member 18037]

The kids usually know if they have the skills or not.

 

[B.Gold]

IMO the coach shouldn't have told you that information about the other girl. Discussing other athlete's competition levels and skill acquisitions w/ other parents is unprofessional and just not right. What if that mom and girl don't appreciate another parent knowing her daughter's level before even her?

Take it from a mom who has heard things come out of another mom's mouth about my child, and about me, and other children that only a coach should know, it's very painful. I do believe, in general, a coach may think it's harmless, but it's a breach of trust, and the act can do quite a bit of damage, at many layers.

Munchkin3 this coach and your friend are very fortunate you are sensitive to the drama his words could cause and it ends with you. Not all moms are as sensitive.

 

[Muddlethru]

However logical the reason(s) may appear to the person "inquring", I can't think of any valid reason why someone should know any information before the person/family/gymnast involved. What is wrong with waiting to hear that information from the right person? Why must you know ahead of them? You can't do anything with the "secret" information anyway until it is made public. So possessing any information for carpooling, future planning information benefits no one but hurts someone.

 

[munchkin3]

Well, in the end, the kid still can get the skills......so, I will remain encouraging and positive. I vented on CB, now I can leave it......just like the post from Chelsea handler.....tell one, (although, CB is many, anonymous....) and never discuss again.....no gossip, no hurtfullness, just encouragement!
Go girls!!!!! Work hard, and get what you want!!!!