Anon Hanging up her grips

[Anonymous (4dd1)]

My daughter approached me last night and told me she wants to be done with gymnastics after the season ends. She is 11, almost 12 and level 6. I think she was afraid to tell me, and I support whatever decision she makes. But I'm finding myself really sad about her decision. She says she still loves gymnastics, and wishes she could keep doing it, but she is burned out with going to school 8-4 and then gym 5-9 (gym is 4 days a week). So I completely understand that this is just too much for her at this point. But It's so hard to let go of something they have put so much time and effort into. (The gym does not offer a lower hours excel program, and there are no gyms nearby that do).

Again, I completely support her decision, and I am not trying to change her mind. I know she is conflicted, because she is genuinely going to miss gymnastics, but has no interest in continuing to train 16-20 hours a week.

Is it normal to feel this way?

 

[Coach Kate]

This is a huge transition time! There are social influences and so many opportunities for activities and recreation. Maybe she takes a break and wants to come back. Maybe she comes back in 10 years as an adult. Maybe she finds a new sport.

But regardless, it's been a huge part of your entire family's life. You have watched her grow and fail and succeed and win and lose. Yes, it's normal to feel like you're going to miss it too.

I'm just a toddler (3y, 1.5y) mom right now, but in my short time as a parent, I've come to feel that I love and enjoy each new phase more than the previous one. Sure, I can look back fondly on my squishy sleepy newborns, but seeing them grow and learn and play just makes me even more excited for their futures.

 

[Anonymous (edef)]

My daughter approached me last night and told me she wants to be done with gymnastics after the season ends. She is 11, almost 12 and level 6. I think she was afraid to tell me, and I support whatever decision she makes. But I'm finding myself really sad about her decision. She says she still loves gymnastics, and wishes she could keep doing it, but she is burned out with going to school 8-4 and then gym 5-9 (gym is 4 days a week). So I completely understand that this is just too much for her at this point. But It's so hard to let go of something they have put so much time and effort into. (The gym does not offer a lower hours excel program, and there are no gyms nearby that do).

Again, I completely support her decision, and I am not trying to change her mind. I know she is conflicted, because she is genuinely going to miss gymnastics, but has no interest in continuing to train 16-20 hours a week.

Is it normal to feel this way?

It's been a huge part of your lives, so I think it's normal. I think a lot of kids choose to leave around that age, as it's a huge time commitment. Does your gym have the Excel program? Often it's less hours, so they can still train and compete but don't have to spend as much time in the gym....

 

[Anonymous (bc34)]

Ugh, I feel you. My daughter (12, L7) seemingly out of nowhere has started to allude to being done after this year. She's having a good season but all of a sudden is just not into it. We're already signed up for high performance camps this summer that she BEGGED for so I am just not sure what to think. I've told her that we support her no matter what. I am definitely sad though of course I haven't told her that. It's been such a joy to watch her talents and while I am sure I'll enjoy whatever is next (she's mentioned cheer, diving, school plays, maybe even volleyball) will be fun, I'll definitely cherish her time in gymnastics.

If someone had told me 3 months ago that I'd be posting this I would not have believed it. It's been a complete 180.

 

[Anonymous (4dd1)]

It's been a huge part of your lives, so I think it's normal. I think a lot of kids choose to leave around that age, as it's a huge time commitment. Does your gym have the Excel program? Often it's less hours, so they can still train and compete but don't have to spend as much time in the gym....

Her gym does xcel in place of compulsories, so she did silver and gold before going to 6. They offer platinum and diamond, but they train in the same group (platinum with 6, and diamond with 7/8), so the hours are the same. Which I hate, because a lower hours xcel program would have been a great fit for her. She could easily do diamond in the fall.

 

[Anonymous (4dd1)]

This is a huge transition time! There are social influences and so many opportunities for activities and recreation. Maybe she takes a break and wants to come back. Maybe she comes back in 10 years as an adult. Maybe she finds a new sport.

But regardless, it's been a huge part of your entire family's life. You have watched her grow and fail and succeed and win and lose. Yes, it's normal to feel like you're going to miss it too.

I'm just a toddler (3y, 1.5y) mom right now, but in my short time as a parent, I've come to feel that I love and enjoy each new phase more than the previous one. Sure, I can look back fondly on my squishy sleepy newborns, but seeing them grow and learn and play just makes me even more excited for their futures.

Thank you for this. I guess my biggest fear is she will quit and then regret leaving. And I imagine it would be almost impossible to come back after taking say, the summer off.

But she may not have regrets. She may find something new.

And yes, I think what I'm struggling with is having watched her work so hard and push through so much to get where she's at. It all feels like a waste, but I know it's not.

 

[Anonymous (edef)]

Her gym does xcel in place of compulsories, so she did silver and gold before going to 6. They offer platinum and diamond, but they train in the same group (platinum with 6, and diamond with 7/8), so the hours are the same. Which I hate, because a lower hours xcel program would have been a great fit for her. She could easily do diamond in the fa

 

[Anonymous (4dd1)]

Ugh, I feel you. My daughter (12, L7) seemingly out of nowhere has started to allude to being done after this year. She's having a good season but all of a sudden is just not into it. We're already signed up for high performance camps this summer that she BEGGED for so I am just not sure what to think. I've told her that we support her no matter what. I am definitely sad though of course I haven't told her that. It's been such a joy to watch her talents and while I am sure I'll enjoy whatever is next (she's mentioned cheer, diving, school plays, maybe even volleyball) will be fun, I'll definitely cherish her time in gymnastics.

If someone had told me 3 months ago that I'd be posting this I would not have believed it. It's been a complete 180.

We briefly talked about if she had other interests. She doesn’t want to do any sport involving a ball and doesn’t seem interested in cheer. I mentioned diving but she seemed hesitant about that. And it’s ok that she doesn’t know what she wants to do. It may take time to find something. But I know she truly still loves gymnastics. She stated several times she wishes she could still do team, but like 3 days a week.

The gym owner usually asks in April if your gymnast will be continuing another year. So it’s not like she can take a break for the summer and go back if she changes her mind. And even if she changes her mind, I don’t know if it would be the right decision as we would end up right back at this place where the 16-20 hours is too much.

I’m just a confused emotional mess right now. I appreciate everyone’s thoughts and support!

 

[Anonymous (bc34)]

We briefly talked about if she had other interests. She doesn’t want to do any sport involving a ball and doesn’t seem interested in cheer. I mentioned diving but she seemed hesitant about that. And it’s ok that she doesn’t know what she wants to do. It may take time to find something. But I know she truly still loves gymnastics. She stated several times she wishes she could still do team, but like 3 days a week.

The gym owner usually asks in April if your gymnast will be continuing another year. So it’s not like she can take a break for the summer and go back if she changes her mind. And even if she changes her mind, I don’t know if it would be the right decision as we would end up right back at this place where the 16-20 hours is too much.

I’m just a confused emotional mess right now. I appreciate everyone’s thoughts and support!

My current plan, if she's still waffling, is to suggest a break at the beginning of summer. Her gym usually closes Memorial Day week anyway so thinking a week before or after to give her 2/2.5 weeks off. Usually she's bored out of her mind/missing gymnastics like crazy so we'll see how it goes. Good luck to you and your daughter!

 

[Coach Kate]

Thank you for this. I guess my biggest fear is she will quit and then regret leaving. And I imagine it would be almost impossible to come back after taking say, the summer off.

But she may not have regrets. She may find something new.

And yes, I think what I'm struggling with is having watched her work so hard and push through so much to get where she's at. It all feels like a waste, but I know it's not.

It definitely has not been a waste. I guarantee she's learned plenty of life lessons from the sport, had a great time, and found joy in physical activity.

I left gymnastics in 2008, did cross country and track in college from 2009-2013. I got into ultra running for awhile after college before getting into trx and group fitness. Led me to yoga, then later circus and contortion. In 2019 I was diagnosed with cancer and got married three weeks later. I found remission and in 2020 came back to my own gymnastics while the gym recovered from COVID. I had babies in 2023 and 2024 and now I mostly walk, hula hoop and strength train when I can. I may not be doing gymnastics anymore but that could always change and gymnastics gave me a lot of movement and appreciation for my body.

I actually love USAG's motto. Begin here, go anywhere. Gymnastics is a great sport, but it's not everything. Hugs to you and your family on this journey.