WAG Heartbreaking

[skschlag]

I am just curious how you feel parents who do not coach (coach at a safe reputable gym) are able to get this education? Also, I don't see anywhere in this post where we are only directed to discuss how to discuss this issue with a gymnast and how to source safety in the gym info???

I have honestly always asked my son. So asking now would not be strange. I remember his coach teaching him how to fall. When we watch gymnasts fall, he will tell me what they were doing. I do not always understand it, but he does. However, I also know that sometimes things do not always work out that way, but knowledge is one safety net for sure.

 

[Cmumgym]

I am just curious how you feel parents who do not coach (coach at a safe reputable gym) are able to get this education? Also, I don't see anywhere in this post where we are only directed to discuss how to discuss this issue with a gymnast and how to source safety in the gym info???

My post previously stated numerous ways a parent can gain knowledge to be secure in the coaches they hand their children over to. Also it’s not stated not to speculate how a gymnast died. But I would assume it would be polite not to speculate through scores and assumptions about a persons death. I just figure it’s more practical, ethical and helpful for the forum to discuss ways to help parents and coaches communicate this news to their gymnasts and also give others ideas of how parents and coaches can become more educated.

 

[gymjunkie]

My post previously stated numerous ways a parent can gain knowledge to be secure in the coaches they hand their children over to. Also it’s not stated not to speculate how a gymnast died. But I would assume it would be polite not to speculate through scores and assumptions about a persons death. I just figure it’s more practical, ethical and helpful for the forum to discuss ways to help parents and coaches communicate this news to their gymnasts and also give others ideas of how parents and coaches can become more educated.

Your numerous ways are better than doing nothing, but let's be real you are not going to know that much more by doing those things. I was initially just expressing my concerns after I saw her scores, but since you are speaking about the coaching world as a whole (and only seeing a positive view: ie: I’d like to think any coach teaching these skills teach correct “bail out” techniques before teaching these skills and are adhearing to the safety precautions necessary), I'm guessing you haven't coached in many different positions or assignments? I have known way too many coaches across the decades who have assured parents to disregard low scores and "trust" that their child should keep advancing despite a lack of mastery. It's not a safe practice, and I am angry if it contributed to her death. If I offended anyone, I apologize. We all need to process tragedy in our own way and I am one who looks for explanations, because they sometimes help avoid future tragedy.

 

[Sk8ermaiden]

As someone who has lost someone and experienced this firsthand, people who process by looking for the explanation are really looking to reassure themselves that this could never happen to them/someone they love because THEY do XYZ. They were always wrong. I hadn't even looked at it that way after your post, but after your explanation just now...yep. It's a bad practice. It's virtually never correct, and it's extremely hurtful.

 

[Cmumgym]

A

Your numerous ways are better than doing nothing, but let's be real you are not going to know that much more by doing those things. I was initially just expressing my concerns after I saw her scores, but since you are speaking about the coaching world as a whole (and only seeing a positive view: ie: I’d like to think any coach teaching these skills teach correct “bail out” techniques before teaching these skills and are adhearing to the safety precautions necessary), I'm guessing you haven't coached in many different positions or assignments? I have known way too many coaches across the decades who have assured parents to disregard low scores and "trust" that their child should keep advancing despite a lack of mastery. It's not a safe practice, and I am angry if it contributed to her death. If I offended anyone, I apologize. We all need to process tragedy in our own way and I am one who looks for explanations, because they sometimes help avoid future tragedy.

agree it’s a glass half full half empty thing. You can be angry at an assumption that may or may not have occurred at the end of the day this was a freak accident that even through a very dangerous sport death does not occur on a regular basis. I agree with the long term evaluation that scores may show in a gym with coaches who lack certain skills in certain areas and to be mindful of this. But surely through respect and no factual knowledge of the reasonings for this death do we need to attempt to “csi” this freak accident. There are so many things that could have occurred. Yes lack of coaching behalf. Over worn grips. Wrong execution. And having knowledge and doing those things will deffinatly give you a better understanding and if not peace of mind that you are doing everything you can as a parent.

 

[gymjunkie]

As someone who has lost someone and experienced this firsthand, people who process by looking for the explanation are really looking to reassure themselves that this could never happen to them/someone they love because THEY do XYZ. They were always wrong. I hadn't even looked at it that way after your post, but after your explanation just now...yep. It's a bad practice. It's virtually never correct, and it's extremely hurtful.

I don't think there is anything that could completely reassure me this could never happen because of XYZ -- life is just not like that.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

it’s a no brainer. if you bring it up to your kid she is going to say , duh... It’s common sense , but so is not running a stop sign . Things happens

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I am just curious how you feel parents who do not coach (coach at a safe reputable gym) are able to get this education? Also, I don't see anywhere in this post where we are only directed to discuss how to discuss this issue with a gymnast and how to source safety in the gym info???

Here’s a thought start a new thread.

 

[MILgymFAM]

it’s a no brainer. if you bring it up to your kid she is going to say , duh... It’s common sense , but so is not running a stop sign . Things happens

I had a fairly shocking moment in my D’s senior year when a coach (friend) was trying to figure out why she can’t get to handstand on bars. It turns out that no one ever taught her how to fall. Not one coach in the ten she’d had on bars over the years. Either they all assumed she already knew, or they’d all given up on her bars, but no one ever taught her, and as a result she was terrified of getting all the way up there- still is. I would never assume there is proper safety training anymore, but my kid will never be doing the crazy hard skills- and I still know there could be a freak accident on the easy ones. Her one private that included learning to fall probably didn’t help all that much overall. The idea is kinda terrifying to be honest.

 

[mommyof1]

As someone who has lost someone and experienced this firsthand, people who process by looking for the explanation are really looking to reassure themselves that this could never happen to them/someone they love because THEY do XYZ. They were always wrong. I hadn't even looked at it that way after your post, but after your explanation just now...yep. It's a bad practice. It's virtually never correct, and it's extremely hurtful.

I am so sorry for your loss. I agree that in many cases, analyzing the cause of a tragedy is just an attempt to reassure oneself. In other cases, however, the tragedy makes people aware of a risk they didn't fully appreciate before. I would argue that for at least some parents, this event falls into the second category.

 

[Aussie_coach]

As coaches, gym owners, gymnasts and parents sitting back and analysing the situation my not be a bad thing (as long as it is done respectfully). We always need to continue to ask ourselves, are we doing the best we can with respect to safety or could we be doing more.

 

[John]

As a parent, I find it my duty to learn about what my children have chosen as their activities. The activity was knitting once when she was little, so yes I can knit. Gymnastics is now her activity and I have educated myself and continue to do so. I go to the gym regularly and watch practice and study the physiology of the body as it pertains to gymnastics. I have learned that having your athlete coached by someone THEY trust is paramount. Accidents happen and at the moment something unravels no one knows how they will react until they are presented with a chance to test what has been learned.

As a man who lost his wife to a car accident searching for someone or something to blame may seem like a path to an end but it is not. Accepting that accidents do indeed happen then allowing yourself grieve, focus on the good, and let time heal is a good recipe to a normal future.

Let's not assign blame.

 

[suds]

As a man who lost his wife to a car accident

Sending you warm thoughts and a hug.

 

[Flyaway]

@John I didn't want to let your post go by without acknowledging your loss. I'm sorry you experienced that tragedy. ((hugs))

 

[duyetanh]

As a parent, I find it my duty to learn about what my children have chosen as their activities. The activity was knitting once when she was little, so yes I can knit. Gymnastics is now her activity and I have educated myself and continue to do so. I go to the gym regularly and watch practice and study the physiology of the body as it pertains to gymnastics. I have learned that having your athlete coached by someone THEY trust is paramount. Accidents happen and at the moment something unravels no one knows how they will react until they are presented with a chance to test what has been learned.

As a man who lost his wife to a car accident searching for someone or something to blame may seem like a path to an end but it is not. Accepting that accidents do indeed happen then allowing yourself grieve, focus on the good, and let time heal is a good recipe to a normal future.

Let's not assign blame.

I am sorry for your loss. And I understand your position completely.

 

[John]

Thanks everyone but it is not about me, that was long ago, 22 years, and I am healed. I just wanted to post and let everyone know about loss from personal experience. Thanks again.