Parents How can you motivate a bored little gymnast?

[gymmommy123]

So sorry for the length.... About 9 months ago, we moved my DD from a gym she had attended for 2 1/2 yrs to a new gym opening up. She spent the first 4+ months at a temporary facility, working out for 12 hrs a week. She was with one girl she loved, her age, and then basically the entire team through lvl 10 would warm up and cool down together. There were some issues, but overall she was progressing and begged for gym. Her form was improving, and she was very proud of herself, and was practicing at home (splits, handstands, etc...) She loved being with the "big" kids and learned a few new skills. Once the actual new facility opened, she was moved into a group they felt was appropriate for her age/level, a repeat of the same level she had competed in the Spring, and cut her hours to 9/wk. At that time, she was very disappointed. She (and I) had been told she'd be moving up for the Fall, and combined with the shorter hours, she felt a bit slighted I think. I told her to work hard, and she'd probably be able to move up in the Spring next year. Well now, a few months later, we are at our wits' end. The gym she is at is wonderful for form, technique, the basics, and very high scores at competition. They are successful up through level 10 and say it's because they put so much emphasis on the basics. I KNOW this is ideal, but for our little gymmie, she just can't get it in her head that it is important to do the "easy" stuff perfect. She slacks off, goofs around, and gets very sloppy. When her main coach is watching her, she'll do very well, but literally the second her back is turned, or a newer coach is working with her, she goes back to her sloppy sloppy ways (legs apart, toes flexed, jumping around, staring off at the older kids, chatting, etc...) Her handstands have gone from 10-15 seconds down to 3 or 4 seconds. Her oversplits are now splits that don't go to the ground anymore. She's been bouncing off her head in a BHS for a year now and where she used to be able to climb the rope up and down twice, now she can barely go 1/3 of the way up.

I really do think her main coach is very good, and the gym is good, but she seems so stuck in a rut. She's learned 1 skill in 6+ months. They very rarely work new skills and I think in HER mind, she thinks she already knows all the skills so she sees no point in trying anymore. They work routines routines routines... and that part HAS improved, her routines are MUCH better, but only when she's with her coach as she practices them herself poorly. She gets reprimanded all the time, and then I get frustrated watching her goof around and get after her too. She's a VERY smart kid, but a challenge...She's not a bad kid though. They are trying to grow their lower levels, so as new girls come on, they are focusing on getting the new girls up to speed. She's told me that its just boring doing the same "easy-peasy" skills every day so I try to encourage her to do HUGE casts, or LONG handstands and try to explain WHY those skills are important (a cast becomes a cast-handstand, a glide, becomes a kip, etc...), but that only lasts all of 3 minutes and then she's back to flopping around, chatting with a friend, or goofing off. Her old gym wasn't as "good" supposedly, but they challenged her more, and they had open gym and privates that we took advantage of... new gym will not allow open gym, and her good coach is too busy for privates so she only gets her class time. She never wants to practice at home at all anymore whereas before, I couldn't STOP her doing gymnastics, she spent all her time on her hands, lol.

I'm not sure if it's a lack of talent, lack of drive, or just plain boredom. Should we just pull her out altogether for a while and see if she misses it? She begs us not to take her out, but she clearly doesn't feel like working very hard. The coach has talked to her, and we've talked to her MANY times but it's not helping. I try watching to try to keep her in check, and then try NOT watching for a few weeks to see if maybe I'm causing the problem, but it's always the same. I hate hearing her coach constantly on her case, but I TOTALLY understand it. I used to reward her with a new leo, or little prize when she tackled a new skill but can't really do that anymore since she doesn't work new skills. ANY way I can motivate her to work her hardest? I fear if she keeps it up, they'll either kick her off, or keep her at the same level for a 3rd season. I would really appreciate any advice to get her moving forward again...

 

[BlairBob]

How old is she? I'm gonna guess between 5-9?

Does the gym have a progress chart system or journal system? Ask the coach if you don't know or maybe see about creating one for her( they or you ).

 

[gymmommy123]

She's 6 1/2 and been doing gymnastics 3 1/2 yrs. I've not seen them do progress charts or journals for any of the girls. They do reward with stickers or ribbons for mastering a new skill but she's only gotten a ribbon 1 time I think. I try to do mini-rewards, i.e., she gets to choose where to go for dinner on the way home if she has a good practice, or gets a cookie or treat when she works hard, etc...

 

[profmom]

I'd consider taking her out for two weeks. She's young, and that's probably long enough for it to make an impression without setting her back at all. I'm not saying do it as a punishment for not working hard in gym!! Rather as giving her a break in case the real problem here is burnout -- it sounds like she's been working very hard for a long time.

But the other thing is to check in with the gym to see what they think about how she's doing. If they're a good gym with a lot of L10s, they may be fine with a 6 1/2 year old behaving in a developmentally appropriate way. But if they are expecting really young kids to be behaving with the same kind of single-mindedness and focus as twelve year old L9s, that's a problem. For little ones competing new L2 and L3, I think gym should be first and foremost fun, and for the girls on DD's team, the tone is very much about fun until they get to the optional levels, and even then, they do everything they can to make conditioning fun. DS's primary coach would say that gym should be fun even for L10s! (Imagine teenage boys having a pit fight . . .)

While I do occasionally reward DD and DS with a treat when they accomplish something, I always tie it to one of THEIR goals, not mine. (For instance, when DD gets her full on floor, she's getting a new grip bag to celebrate.) I guess what I'm trying to say is that the sport has to belong to your DD, not you. Working hard in practice has to become an intrinsic value, not something she does to please you or even her coaches. If you externalize it by setting up rewards for her accomplishment of your goals, I think you delay the process of it becoming intrinsic.

What's at stake with her progressing and gaining new skills right now? Does she care what level she competes? And if she does want to move up a level, does she understand the connection between the necessary skills for a level and competing at a level? I think it's pretty hard for most kids, even very bright kids, under age 7-8 to understand the kind of quotidian work it takes in this sport to achieve goals that are months into the future.

 

[Skadoodle]

How old is your gymnast and what is her current level?


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[Skadoodle]

Sorry I skipped ahead and didn't see when you posted her age. I'm not clear what level she is but I'm guessing maybe L2 or L3? Sometimes I see the younger ones loose interest when skills get harder and conditioning increases. Usually around this time kids really get a feel for what the sport is and the work that goes into moving up and achieving new skills. I'm sure she sees the other kids working hard as you mentioned she seems bored and not really into it. Maybe she wants to stay because she had friendships there and not for the right reasons? This is a tough sport and unfortunately very costly. Maybe if you let her experience other activities she can decide if gymnastics and all the commitment involved is truly for her.


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[gymmommy123]

Sorry I skipped ahead and didn't see when you posted her age. I'm not clear what level she is but I'm guessing maybe L2 or L3? Sometimes I see the younger ones loose interest when skills get harder and conditioning increases.

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She is a L2. She competed old L3 in the Spring already. She certainly doesn't have any difficulty with the skills they are working on right now, I think that's a large part of the problem, she has her L2, and most L3 skills. There is very little time spent trying to learn any NEW skills. Most of the time, they first work each individual skill in the routine followed by routines (i.e., for bars, they will do a rotation/3 stations of each - glide swings, casts, cast BHC, mill circle, dismount, followed by 10 full bar routines). This is the same schedule almost every single practice. She doesn't mind conditioning, and surprisingly, they do far less conditioning at this gym than she did at her old gym. She's fit and unbearably active, lol. She will run on our treadmill at home for "fun".

 

[gymmommy123]

But the other thing is to check in with the gym to see what they think about how she's doing. If they're a good gym with a lot of L10s, they may be fine with a 6 1/2 year old behaving in a developmentally appropriate way. But if they are expecting really young kids to be behaving with the same kind of single-mindedness and focus as twelve year old L9s, that's a problem.

For the most part, she is expected to focus and behave during practice... she gets in trouble for bouncing around, talking, or goofing off, especially when she is told repeatedly to stop talking. I should make it clear though, she's always happy at gym, not sad or upset.

I know she REALLY wants to move up. She was crushed when she went from 12 to 9 hrs a week. She's always telling me she wants to learn harder skills and that she thinks her class is "too easy". I am having a hard time getting her to understand that unless she stays focused and does all her basics perfect, and gets high scores at her meets, they won't move her up.

I completely agree with you that the work ethic has to come from within... I tell her that if SHE wants to get better that SHE needs to prove to her coach she's ready to move forward. She is at a gym where they require them to perform at the very top of a level before they move them up though, so it can be hard. She had a a friend in her group that scored top 3 at the championships in Spring, and had ALL her L3 skills pretty well and was still kept back to repeat the level, so I'm very fearful they'll make her repeat this level over and over again.

 

[SignHere]

New level 4 they have to be 7 to compete.

They have to kip, squat on, long hang kip on bars. They have to do a vertical HS and cartwheel on BB. They have to FHS vault over the horse. They have to ROBHSBHS on floor, and back extension roll through HS on floor. I think they did away with the dive roll (thank goodness).

 

[IreneKa]

She is a L2. She competed old L3 in the Spring already. She certainly doesn't have any difficulty with the skills they are working on right now, I think that's a large part of the problem, she has her L2, and most L3 skills. There is very little time spent trying to learn any NEW skills. Most of the time, they first work each individual skill in the routine followed by routines (i.e., for bars, they will do a rotation/3 stations of each - glide swings, casts, cast BHC, mill circle, dismount, followed by 10 full bar routines). This is the same schedule almost every single practice. She doesn't mind conditioning, and surprisingly, they do far less conditioning at this gym than she did at her old gym. She's fit and unbearably active, lol. She will run on our treadmill at home for "fun".

Have you talked to the coach/HC about this?
My DD has been put in L2 group too, because she doesn't have all L3 skills yet. I was worried that she would get bored there, and I've already heard some "easy-peasy" comments from her. When I talked to HC about this, I specifically asked, how would she get L3 skills, if they are only working L2 skills at practices. She suggest to attend the "extra" practices they held once a week, where she'll be able to work on harder skills, while at her normal practices they will be working L2 routines, and getting ready for the competitions. This arrangement works for me.
So, I would suggest you talk to HC about your concerns, and see what they have to say.

 

[gymmommy123]

New level 4 they have to be 7 to compete.

They have to kip, squat on, long hang kip on bars. They have to do a vertical HS and cartwheel on BB. They have to FHS vault over the horse. They have to ROBHSBHS on floor, and back extension roll through HS on floor. I think they did away with the dive roll (thank goodness).

I'm confused about this post... she's going to be competing L2 not L4? My question was how to motivate her to do her L2 skills perfectly so she can (hopefully) move to L3 in the Spring instead of repeating L2 for a THIRD time. L4 will be probably 2 yrs down the road for her, lol.

 

[gymmommy123]

Have you talked to the coach/HC about this?
She suggest to attend the "extra" practices they held once a week, where she'll be able to work on harder skills, while at her normal practices they will be working L2 routines, and getting ready for the competitions. This arrangement works for me.
So, I would suggest you talk to HC about your concerns, and see what they have to say.

Wow, we would LOVE if they offered an "extra" class like that, that would be perfect for her. Unfortunately, they don't have any option like that, and don't even offer open gym (they said they think open gym puts kids at risk for injury.) She was fine competing that level for the first season, so I bet your daughter will do great

 

[krisnkids]

I'm confused about this post... she's going to be competing L2 not L4? My question was how to motivate her to do her L2 skills perfectly so she can (hopefully) move to L3 in the Spring instead of repeating L2 for a THIRD time. L4 will be probably 2 yrs down the road for her, lol.

If she is competing L2 in the fall it is the old level 3, so while numerically it is the same number, it is not the same level. If she were to compete L3 in the fall/spring it is the old level 4.

Is she still bouncing off her head in her bhs? If she is then I would have to think the gym is correct in keeping her in level 2. Myself and many others on here have cringed more times than we care to remember at some of the bhs we have seen thrown at meets.

 

[gymmommy123]

She competed L3 in the Spring, and is competing L2 this Fall 2013 (the same level). I'm not asking to move her up, I'm asking how to get her to stop goofing off and start focusing so she CAN move up in Spring 2014. Any ways to motivate her, or get her excited again?

 

[Skadoodle]

Her handstands have gone from 10-15 seconds down to 3 or 4 seconds. Her oversplits are now splits that don't go to the ground anymore. She's been bouncing off her head in a BHS for a year now and where she used to be able to climb the rope up and down twice, now she can barely go 1/3 of the way up.

You mentioned she had all her skills but then contradicted by saying she's lost her L2( old L3) skills. If she has lost interest and isn't conditioning she will find it very difficult to do many of her skills and will find it impossible to do harder ones so that she can move up to the next level and not be bored as you said. If she wants to continue she needs the drive for it to A.correct her bad habits and B. be strong enough to learn the new more exciting skills. I can't imagine she will be moved up or given more hours until the coach sees that happening.




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[Committed]

She just has to have her own inner-motivation.
I do understand where you're coming from with a little gymmie "boredom" issue. I also have a 6yo. We came from a gym where DD trained with the big girls and was expected to do the same big skills. Our current gym is big on form and basics. At first DD would get very upset with having to do the same drills over and over again, especially after competing them the previous year. She still complains that she's not allowed to do harder stuff, but it's not as often. Not to mention, her basics are getting much better: longer handstands, vertical handstands on beam, prettier BHS, etc.
However, DD is very very focused in class. She really wants to move up to L4 team at the next try outs, so she works very hard. And she really likes being called up in class to demonstrate a skill or proper form.
Plus, in the past, we've had the conversation where the big girls don't want to work out with the crazy little girl who doesn't listen.
Good luck!

 

[bogwoppit]

Gymnastics can be very, very boring. Endless repetitions, nitpicking by coaches. It is all part of building a gymnast. Many kids quit due to "being bored". I would pull her out for a month and tell her it is because gymnastics is expensive and she is not working hard and you do not like that. In a month if she wants to go back, and the gym will take her, then let her try. But honestly if she cannot be bothered to work hard then she probably doesn't really want to do better. I had one just the same. A month out fixed her up beautifully and she continued for 6 more years.

 

[gymmommy123]

If she wants to continue she needs the drive for it to A.correct her bad habits and B. be strong enough to learn the new more exciting skills. I can't imagine she will be moved up or given more hours until the coach sees that happening.

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Exactly! How do we get her to understand that? I'm not so sure if she's "lost" her skills, or is just lost her "desire" to do the skills. I can almost guarantee if I told her I'd give her a candy bar if she could hold a 10 second handstand or go to the ground on her splits, that she'd suddenly be able to do it, lol, but she won't do them for the sake of it. She only *needs* a 2 second handstand in her routine, and only *needs* a 3 or 4 second one to beat the other girls in a handstand contest, so that's what she does. A minimalist I guess! I know they will keep her at this level until she is working her hardest on THIS skill set. As a parent, it's terribly frustrating to hear her get in trouble for the same things every practice, and I imagine it's just as frustrating for her coach.

 

[gymmomtoo]

I agree with Bog--much of gymnastics can be boring. And while I know she's young, she is old enough to work hard, if she wants to move up. When my daughter was a little younger than this, she had a coach that wasn't good about keeping them on track--my DD would goof off at every opportunity. I finally told her that gymnastics was too expensive for it to be a playground. If she wanted to just play, we will find someplace cheaper for her to do that. She started focusing more and working harder--and is still in it 10 years later.

Maybe you could also talk to the coach about your daughter saying the skills are too easy--that's why she isn't working at them. The coach might be able to explain WHY it's important to perfect the skills she has.

 

[gymmommy123]

I would pull her out for a month and tell her it is because gymnastics is expensive and she is not working hard and you do not like that.

This is what we had been thinking of doing... I am a little worried they won't take her back though, as they'll already have entered all the Fall competitions by then. But I'm getting tired of writing big checks just to see her look great when her coach stares at her, and go sloppy the second her coach turns her back.