Parents How can you motivate a bored little gymnast?

[gymmomtoo]

This is what we had been thinking of doing... I am a little worried they won't take her back though, as they'll already have entered all the Fall competitions by then. But I'm getting tired of writing big checks just to see her look great when her coach stares at her, and go sloppy the second her coach turns her back.

Maybe the threat will be enough, without having to follow through!

 

[krisnkids]

My youngest gymmie is extremely talented and unmotivated. Her gym did not compete until old level 4, she was her fhc away from making level 4(old) team. She was bored, didn't get new skills for months. Finally she decided she wanted to quit and go to soccer with her sister. She had just turned 7.
Gymnastics is a tough sport that takes a whole lot of inner motivation. The higher a child goes in levels, the more a child is going to be expected to be able to go to a bar, do 30 kips with correct form or go do X amount of walkovers, hs forward rolls, extensions, front/back limbers for warm up. Without the inner motivation I would venture to guess you are going to be doing a lot of bribing, dd is going to be doing a lot of staring off into space (or at the older girls) and both of you are going to be very frustrated.

 

[EastCoastGymMom]

Maybe she will become more motivated after competition season begins (I think you said her gym competes L2, right?). I will say that the little gymnasts seem to mature A LOT right around 7-8 years old - it's like something clicks - whether that's from years in the gym or school or just general maturity. It would probably be helpful for the coach(s) to talk to her about the need for perfecting basics, paying attention, etc.. before moving up.

 

[Skadoodle]

Exactly! How do we get her to understand that? I'm not so sure if she's "lost" her skills, or is just lost her "desire" to do the skills. I can almost guarantee if I told her I'd give her a candy bar if she could hold a 10 second handstand or go to the ground on her splits, that she'd suddenly be able to do it, lol, but she won't do them for the sake of it. She only *needs* a 2 second handstand in her routine, and only *needs* a 3 or 4 second one to beat the other girls in a handstand contest, so that's what she does. A minimalist I guess! I know they will keep her at this level until she is working her hardest on THIS skill set. As a parent, it's terribly frustrating to hear her get in trouble for the same things every practice, and I imagine it's just as frustrating for her coach.

Unfortunately I'm sure you see that if you have to bribe her with chocolate to do her skills (lol)well then she'd probably just comply to get the reward and her heart isn't in it. I'm sure if you take her out she will find a sport or activity she has passion for right? That's all we really want for our kids is to help them succeed and shine in this world.
Besides, I don't know what you pay for tuition monthly but I'm sure she could find something (or a few something's For that matter) that will keep her busy and happy that costs far less than team gymnastics. My daughters tuition is a car payment and if she wasn't into it heart and soul I'd take her out.
Also realize this your daughter has been in a sport that has made her physically stronger and even smarter than average kids her age. Whatever she chooses after this sport she will most likely exel at. Best of luck to you and your daughter


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[gymmommy123]

Besides, I don't know what you pay for tuition monthly but I'm sure she could find something (or a few something's For that matter) that will keep her busy and happy that costs far less than team gymnastics. My daughters tuition is a car payment and if she wasn't into it heart and soul I'd take her out.

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So far, any mention of a different sport sends her into near hysteria. She curled into a ball and cried for almost 2 hrs Friday night when we said we were taking her out of gymnastics. I feel terribly guilty for switching her to this new gym over the winter, as she always did very well at her original gym, was the best (or close to it) in her group and picked up new skills relatively easily. Yes, she'd goof around sometimes, but they were much more light-hearted over there and incorporated a lot more "fun" into gymnastics (sleepovers, parties, open gyms, etc.) I thought I was choosing the "better" gym, obviously the more competitive gym, but at this point, I'm not so sure I made a good decision.

 

[maryRS]

I apologize if i missed it but why did you switch gyms? To me it sounds like she is just a little too young and not ready to be serious and take this all serious. There is nothing wrong with that, and I think 9 hours sounds like it's enough and possibly even too much if her focus isn't there. The extra hours won't make her focus and be serious, it's going to have to come on it's own. It probably will, but there is also a chance that it won't. I don't think you can make it happen, I think I would just reconsider paying all the money (if money is an issue) at this point in time. I would talk to her about that but make sure she doesn't see it as a punishment.

 

[wallflower]

Personally unless the cost of gym is a burden, I disagree with most of these suggestions. I would just leave her alone. Let her go and be how she is. She will suffer the natural consequences of her behavior and lack of effort and either decide to change it when she matures a bit or she will never care and move on from gym. I just think she's too young to care at the moment and that's normal for some kids her age.

 

[emilykatherine]

I think what most parents don't realize is that from a gymnast perspective this is normal, almost all gymnast go through this. I went through it when I was about 10, we had moved and I just didnt want to practice, so my mom took me out for maybe a year and she would push a little and then I told her when I was ready that I wanted to go back, you really need to let her make the desion on wheat her or not she's willing to commit because its a huge commitment. And bribe her a little tell her that if she works hard every week then she can have something new or you can set up like a point system and every good practice she get so point and they can be different points for different days and ten when she get to maybe 100 points she can have a new leotard or something else she may want.

 

[thefellowsmom]

Hi, please excuse my very long response. I am not known for my succinctness

I hope that my experiences may be helpful to you. I am just a mom and certainly am not an expert on pretty much anything (unless you need a website built, but....).

My daughter was also distracted at that age and at seven and into her eighth year. I wouldn't necessarily use the word unmotivated because she has always really wanted to do well and has an incredible passion for her sport. But she was easily distracted and seeing the benefit of every turn being perfect even if the coach wasn't watching and not just checking the boxes but performing her best on each repetition whether drill or skill or conditioning took some time to kick in. This is totally normal I think. Connecting the boring work to the results is a complex subject that takes a bit for kids to figure out.

It slowed her progress early on significantly, but we were very lucky that her coaches saw her potential and kept working on basics and shapes and progressions and drills and kept going with the details and biding their time until she matured. Well, she is now newly nine and will likely skip through a couple of levels this year because her progress has exploded because it finally all started to click for her and she had the foundation there to push her progress very fast once she was ready.

It has been very frustrating for everyone, her, me, her coaches but well worth the work and the wait. For her, the key was to help her discover what motivated her internally. I'm not talking rewards, but what makes her want to work hard and get better. If she is really committed to the sport she will figure that out and you can help by talking with her and really learning what makes her tick. For my dd it was extra attention and positive feedback that does it for her. Luckily for her at our gym this is how it works. If you work hard and make the corrections then you get to progress and get more personalized attention from the coaches. It works well for her. I believe a good gym philosophy match is critical to the success of a gymnast.

We talked and talked and talked about how important it is to try on every turn, that all the little details are what is going to make you perform better and get stronger so you can get the higher skills. We made it very clear that until she figured out how to pay attention to the details and make the corrections that her coaches couldn't move her forward. She had to want it for herself and do the work for herself, no one was going to do it for her. And once she did that her coaches would see that and reward her with attention and new skills.

This had nothing to do with her not loving gymnastics. Not once has she ever not wanted to go and like your dd she would roll into a ball screaming if I threatened to take it away. Pulling her out for a month would have killed her, it simply wasn't an option.

I don't know your daughter or her motivations but from what you have said it sounds like your dd just needs to stick with it and work it out for herself. And hopefully the gym will stick with her until she gets there. She is very young, there is lots of time.

One thing I noticed is that my dd is an easily distracted person (at gym, at home, at school) and her room, desk and school work work really unorganized as well. As she worked through all this and got better at gymnastics I saw improvement in other areas of her life as well, so for her it was definitely developmental. Not every kid is able to handle it all at this young of an age. Teaching her what was expected of her and giving her detailed tools and breaking it down into manageable items she could handle was key for her.

This is what worked for us. In the car on the way to practice we would have a little mind training talk. I framed it as a way to help her be a better gymnast and she ate it up. I would pick one thing and we would talk about it and how it was important and how it would directly affect her gymnastics. And then I would give her one related task to focus on at that practice. I took the gymnastics skills/drills etc completely out of it as that is between her and her coach. What I could help her with was getting her mind in a good place.

Here is an example. Her coaches would have to remind her it was her turn every time because if she was waiting for her turn she would get distracted by one of the other girls talking with her and not be ready to go and then the coach would be like "hey!" and then she would go but her mind wasn't focused and she wouldn't make the corrections or do it with proper form.

So, we would talk each day before practice about how important it is to be mentally prepared for her turn. It's respectful to the coach and she is much more likely to make the correction or do it correctly if she prepares herself before she goes etc. Then each day that week I would give her a single task. Today, I want you to make sure that your coach doesn't have to remind you it is your turn to go. Today, I want you to focus on the given correction while the person in front of you goes so you are ready. Today, I want you to focus on not getting sucked into silliness by your neighbor. etc.

Then after practice we would talk it through. How did it go? What was hard? Did you notice any difference in your state of mind, focus or gymnastics. etc.

We kept it light, positive and fun/funny whenever possible. I talked to her in a serious but age appropriate manner. She had made it very clear that she is serious about taking gymnastics as far as possible and so I made it clear that these things are the things that are going to make the difference between succeeding and not.

She is now a focused, competitive, working machine. She is known as one of the most focused hard working and successful young up and coming gymnasts in our gym and I could not be more proud of her.

My suggestion is talk to her. Does she love gymnastics? Does she still want to go? Does she want to get better? What is her favorite part of gymnastics? Why is she finding it difficult to concentrate or make the corrections or do it properly or whatever her issue is? Just keep asking lots of questions until you get somewhere to start and help her figure out ways to make it better.

Good luck and keep us posted!

 

[tennismom4]

sounds like she's just being 6 1/2 ?? My kid is, I guess a new level 3 & she's 7. When I go watch her, by the time hour 2 passes, you can see all the little girls (under 8-9yrs) start to really get wiggly. If your daughter is doing 9 hrs a week, that's alot of time for an little one to focus.

 

[SignHere]

Sorry! I misunderstood- I saw Level 2/3 and was thinking old 4, new 3, and that she was currently in new 3 and wanting to move up to new 4.

My point with my post was that her skills and age are not ready to move up to 4, which, from your response, is true!

6 -7 years is still really young -
I still have to buy my 9 year old a snack from the vending machine when she has a good night at practice as a reward - so you're not alone!

 

[OzZee]

From what I've read I think some of the issue with the very young kids in the US is this pushing lots of skills early to get their skill set up to competing (level 3/4/5 or whatever that club starts competing at) and then deciding to get the kids to then polish up those skills.
It's hard for a 6 year old to understand that you don't just keep learning new skills continuously, gymnastics isn't like that. Most of the time at any level is spent polishing and conditioning and ensuring the previous skills/basics are perfect and then working on the new couple of skills.
Maybe if they'd spent more time polishing the basics rather than learning new skills then they wouldn't feel so disappointed when they start doing more polishing of all of those skills.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

bribing= extrinsic motivation= bad

"i don't want the cookie or leo, take me to gym"= extrinsic motivation= good

 

[Deleted member 14190]

So sorry for the length.... About 9 months ago, we moved my DD from a gym she had attended for 2 1/2 yrs to a new gym opening up. She spent the first 4+ months at a temporary facility, working out for 12 hrs a week. She was with one girl she loved, her age, and then basically the entire team through lvl 10 would warm up and cool down together. There were some issues, but overall she was progressing and begged for gym. Her form was improving, and she was very proud of herself, and was practicing at home (splits, handstands, etc...) She loved being with the "big" kids and learned a few new skills. Once the actual new facility opened, she was moved into a group they felt was appropriate for her age/level, a repeat of the same level she had competed in the Spring, and cut her hours to 9/wk. At that time, she was very disappointed. She (and I) had been told she'd be moving up for the Fall, and combined with the shorter hours, she felt a bit slighted I think. I told her to work hard, and she'd probably be able to move up in the Spring next year. Well now, a few months later, we are at our wits' end. The gym she is at is wonderful for form, technique, the basics, and very high scores at competition. They are successful up through level 10 and say it's because they put so much emphasis on the basics. I KNOW this is ideal, but for our little gymmie, she just can't get it in her head that it is important to do the "easy" stuff perfect. She slacks off, goofs around, and gets very sloppy. When her main coach is watching her, she'll do very well, but literally the second her back is turned, or a newer coach is working with her, she goes back to her sloppy sloppy ways (legs apart, toes flexed, jumping around, staring off at the older kids, chatting, etc...) Her handstands have gone from 10-15 seconds down to 3 or 4 seconds. Her oversplits are now splits that don't go to the ground anymore. She's been bouncing off her head in a BHS for a year now and where she used to be able to climb the rope up and down twice, now she can barely go 1/3 of the way up.

I really do think her main coach is very good, and the gym is good, but she seems so stuck in a rut. She's learned 1 skill in 6+ months. They very rarely work new skills and I think in HER mind, she thinks she already knows all the skills so she sees no point in trying anymore. They work routines routines routines... and that part HAS improved, her routines are MUCH better, but only when she's with her coach as she practices them herself poorly. She gets reprimanded all the time, and then I get frustrated watching her goof around and get after her too. She's a VERY smart kid, but a challenge...She's not a bad kid though. They are trying to grow their lower levels, so as new girls come on, they are focusing on getting the new girls up to speed. She's told me that its just boring doing the same "easy-peasy" skills every day so I try to encourage her to do HUGE casts, or LONG handstands and try to explain WHY those skills are important (a cast becomes a cast-handstand, a glide, becomes a kip, etc...), but that only lasts all of 3 minutes and then she's back to flopping around, chatting with a friend, or goofing off. Her old gym wasn't as "good" supposedly, but they challenged her more, and they had open gym and privates that we took advantage of... new gym will not allow open gym, and her good coach is too busy for privates so she only gets her class time. She never wants to practice at home at all anymore whereas before, I couldn't STOP her doing gymnastics, she spent all her time on her hands, lol.

I'm not sure if it's a lack of talent, lack of drive, or just plain boredom. Should we just pull her out altogether for a while and see if she misses it? She begs us not to take her out, but she clearly doesn't feel like working very hard. The coach has talked to her, and we've talked to her MANY times but it's not helping. I try watching to try to keep her in check, and then try NOT watching for a few weeks to see if maybe I'm causing the problem, but it's always the same. I hate hearing her coach constantly on her case, but I TOTALLY understand it. I used to reward her with a new leo, or little prize when she tackled a new skill but can't really do that anymore since she doesn't work new skills. ANY way I can motivate her to work her hardest? I fear if she keeps it up, they'll either kick her off, or keep her at the same level for a 3rd season. I would really appreciate any advice to get her moving forward again...

==
First things first, how often do you watch workouts?

 

[mouey77]

I haven't read all of the responses, but this sounds JUST like my 6 year old daughter. Very motivated and will work hard especially around older gymnasts she admires, but she was placed for the upcoming year on level 1 (old level 2). This is her first year on team, and she is bored. She often wanders off to practice her back handspring or some other bar trick while waiting in line for her turn. I suspect the rationale for placing at a low level is similar to your gym's. They want absolutely perfect form, and she definitely needs to build up strength through conditioning. Yet, my 6 year old gymnast doesn't care about straddle rolls over and over. She has (to my untrained eyes) a nice round off back handspring, and that's the kind of tumbling she wants to do. I get the need to instill discipline etc etc at the low levels, but some of this behavior is developmentally normal for a 6 year old. Six year olds want to have fun, and I think they need to be challenged to keep their interest. I've had the same dilemma you are having for a while now, so I sympathize.

 

[mouey77]

I wish I could edit from my original response from my iPad, but skimming the responses you have, I agree that 6 in general is too young to have internal motivation. I am not above bribing at this age, so I have made fun stuff like gym sleepovers and kids' fun night contingent upon working hard in practice. It does seem to help.

 

[mouey77]

One more thing: I posted a question about switching gyms a while ago. We had the option of the "better" gym that trains optional levels and even elite versus our current gym. Honestly for a 5 yr old, the "better" gym seemed like a fun suck, and we opted to stay at our current gym even though I'll bet DD would be pushed more and would compete at a higher level. A few people commented that a great gym for an upper level gymnast might not be the best gym for very young kids. Did your dd like the old gym better? Is it possible to go back?

 

[OzZee]

This is the problem though, these little kids are led to believe that gymnastics is all about the tumbling and having fun but it isn't.
They are allowed to train ro bhs, which are a level 3/4 skill (can't keep up with the US level changes) and these kids have the form and strength etc for level 1 or 2 at best. So they don't want to do the 'hard work'.
That is what gymnastics is, hard work, tumbling is one small bit.
Maybe if that's all your dd wants to do then tumbling or cheer might be a better fit.

I haven't read all of the responses, but this sounds JUST like my 6 year old daughter. Very motivated and will work hard especially around older gymnasts she admires, but she was placed for the upcoming year on level 1 (old level 2). This is her first year on team, and she is bored. She often wanders off to practice her back handspring or some other bar trick while waiting in line for her turn. I suspect the rationale for placing at a low level is similar to your gym's. They want absolutely perfect form, and she definitely needs to build up strength through conditioning. Yet, my 6 year old gymnast doesn't care about straddle rolls over and over. She has (to my untrained eyes) a nice round off back handspring, and that's the kind of tumbling she wants to do. I get the need to instill discipline etc etc at the low levels, but some of this behavior is developmentally normal for a 6 year old. Six year olds want to have fun, and I think they need to be challenged to keep their interest. I've had the same dilemma you are having for a while now, so I sympathize.

 

[GYM0M]

I'm no expert, but you sd she as basically 'demoted' and I am just curious if she was ever able to express her feelings about this. Disappointment is very hard for a 6-7 year old to express. If its possible, you should try to engage her in conversation to see if she will open up about how she feels. You should try really hard to not let her see or hear the frustration you have.

 

[Kiwi]

seeing the benefit of every turn being perfect even if the coach wasn't watching and not just checking the boxes but performing her best on each repetition whether drill or skill or conditioning took some time to kick in. This is totally normal I think. Connecting the boring work to the results is a complex subject that takes a bit for kids to figure out. ... We talked and talked and talked about how important it is to try on every turn

I've been talking to my DD a lot about this recently. She is now 10, and only just starting to understand this. In the past, she has been guilty of not trying as hard when practicing than when the coach was watching. She has very rarely goofed off or been distracted, but didn't always put in her best effort on every try. She is also much more intrinsically motivated now than when she was younger. She still appreciates some rewards, I would say as a form of attention, positive feedback and encouragement, but she doesn't do it for these rewards. With some kids, this kind of maturity will take time, along with some guidance. It does make me wonder if this gym is a good fit for your DD.