Parents How can you motivate a bored little gymnast?

[gymmomtotwo]

I'd leave her alone. As long as she's been told (hopefully by the coach) what she needs to do to move to the next level, I'd put the ball totally in her court for awhile. No bribes, no criticism of her work ethic, no feedback on how her skills look, nothing. I'd watch her very little for awhile, or not at all. And when you do, I'd just say it is so much fun to watch you do gymnastics. I wouldn't let her feel your disapproval in any way. She likely has some negative feelings about not moving on. She doesn't need any additional negative feedback. The competition season is coming up. That will likely spark some enthusiasm. Come up with a fun hairstyle for meets, encourage friendships with her teammates, make meet days fun by arranging a fun meal or get together with teammates after the meet. Look at it like she is 6, and go with things that 6 year olds like. Buy a souvenir from the meet. Don't make anything a reward for doing well, just make it a given part of the day. It's a meet day, so we do these fun things. She needs unconditional approval from you. Let her coaches handle any feedback or criticism. It should be nothing but fun for her, and the desire and work ethic will come from age if it is meant to be. If that doesn't work, she may be happier in a rec program where she can learn the skills without having to do them perfectly.

Hope that helps. I don't have a competing gymnast yet (soon I hope), but I do have two older swimmers, and I always follow the above protocol. Let the coach handle it, I love to watch you swim. At bigger meets we get a tshirt regardless of performance. We have swim friends over. We meet friends for lunch after a meet. They are never going to the Olympics but they love swimming and work hard at it. Your DD just needs time to mature.

 

[Bajanswife]

I can relate to this. My 10 year old has always been like this - she likes the excitement of tumbling and new skills, but hates the "drudgery" of perfecting the little things. She scores fairly well when she doesn't mess up a skill (high 8s, low 9s) but not where she'd like to be (mid to high 9s) purely because of her slightly sloppy form. She's lucky she has a good memory and picks of choreography easily - it is really the slightly bent knees and not quite fully pointed toes etc. that get the deductions more than anything else. She's also lucky she has amazing strength and some degree of raw talent - it's the only reason she wins gold medals on bars, for example.

She just doesn't understand that it benefits her to do things correctly every single time - she thinks she can do them messily a lot of the time in training (i.e. when the coach isn't watching) and then magically go out there in a meet and look beautiful! I am trying to teach her about practice makes perfect and muscle memory, but it's like talking to a wall. She is also a highly social creature and is in gymnastics as much for the social aspect as the fun of tumbling. She just can't be so close to her friends and not chat or goof around with them.

I think gymnastics came too easily for her in the early stages, she doesn't know what it's like to really have to work for it. Now she's reached optionals and I think she's going to get a shock! Now is the time she really has to get her act together or she won't medal any more. Even though it's not all about the medals for her, it will eventually get frustrating when she doesn't do as well as she thinks she should. Maybe that will be a turning point.

 

[mouey77]

This is the problem though, these little kids are led to believe that gymnastics is all about the tumbling and having fun but it isn't.
They are allowed to train ro bhs, which are a level 3/4 skill (can't keep up with the US level changes) and these kids have the form and strength etc for level 1 or 2 at best. So they don't want to do the 'hard work'.
That is what gymnastics is, hard work, tumbling is one small bit.
Maybe if that's all your dd wants to do then tumbling or cheer might be a better fit.

Point taken, but I think a great way to burn out a kid is to have them do serious training at age 6. The "serious" gym we looked at had a homeschooling program, and parents of 5 and 6 year olds place kids in this program and/or drive upwards of 2 hrs one way to go to this gym. IMO this is a little crazy given the statistical odds of making it to the elite level or the Olympics. I think 6 is too young to know. Way too many variables. I understand that the gyms are going to spend hours and hours perfecting these basic skills but most active 6 year olds will want to do more. My daughter isn't the only one in her group, and I don't think this necessarily means gymnastics is a bad fit. Too soon to tell.

 

[bookworm]

bribing= extrinsic motivation= bad

"i don't want the cookie or leo, take me to gym"= extrinsic motivation= good

I'd leave her alone. As long as she's been told (hopefully by the coach) what she needs to do to move to the next level, I'd put the ball totally in her court for awhile. No bribes, no criticism of her work ethic, no feedback on how her skills look, nothing. I'd watch her very little for awhile, or not at all. And when you do, I'd just say it is so much fun to watch you do gymnastics. I wouldn't let her feel your disapproval in any way. She likely has some negative feelings about not moving on. She doesn't need any additional negative feedback. The competition season is coming up. That will likely spark some enthusiasm. Come up with a fun hairstyle for meets, encourage friendships with her teammates, make meet days fun by arranging a fun meal or get together with teammates after the meet. Look at it like she is 6, and go with things that 6 year olds like. Buy a souvenir from the meet. Don't make anything a reward for doing well, just make it a given part of the day. It's a meet day, so we do these fun things. She needs unconditional approval from you. Let her coaches handle any feedback or criticism. It should be nothing but fun for her, and the desire and work ethic will come from age if it is meant to be. If that doesn't work, she may be happier in a rec program where she can learn the skills without having to do them perfectly.

.

In reading all these responses (and maybe it's just me) but I think this issue is being overthought for a 6 yo...riding her to point her toes, have perfect form , pay attention to task etc just seems like a recipe for burnout to me..the kid is in the gym approximately 10 hours a week and should get all the direction and corrections from the coaches you are paying. Your job is to be the mom...I agree with Dunno and Gymmom ...don't get into rewarding her to "do well"...for me, either she wants to do gymnastics or she doesn't and we move on. And in "doing" gymnastics, my requirement wouldn't be that she had to win everything but she definitely would have to be making an effort and trying...if she still seemed "bored" and not into it,I wouldn't feel bad at all for pulling her...She's 6 so she's got plenty of time to do other sports or activities..

 

[Skadoodle]

Point taken, but I think a great way to burn out a kid is to have them do serious training at age 6. The "serious" gym we looked at had a homeschooling program, and parents of 5 and 6 year olds place kids in this program and/or drive upwards of 2 hrs one way to go to this gym. IMO this is a little crazy given the statistical odds of making it to the elite level or the Olympics. I think 6 is too young to know. Way too many variables. I understand that the gyms are going to spend hours and hours perfecting these basic skills but most active 6 year olds will want to do more. My daughter isn't the only one in her group, and I don't think this necessarily means gymnastics is a bad fit. Too soon to tell.

The "serious" gym you referred to is not common. Most of us will not be homeschooling our 6 year old kids so they can train more or drive in excess to get them to the gym. I don't think gymmommy123 has encountered this situation. This situation is entirely different than what you were mentioning in your post.


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[mouey77]

Her situation was that her child seemed bored at the new gym, correct? Maybe I didn't read close enough and went off on a bit of a tangent, but my main point was that all of the behavior described sounds pretty normal for a 6 year old. Most 6 year olds are looking to have fun and don't understand the concept of getting serious about a sport. I meant to reassure.

 

[GYM0M]

Most 6 year olds don't understand the concept of being 'serious' about a sport, but SOME do. My DD has been serious about gymnastics since she was 3. She has always paid attention, focused, and worked hard. She is now 7 years old competing new level 4 and training TOPS and LOVES every minute of it! While it is easy to speculate about the majority of 6 year olds, I believe the poster was duly concerned as this must be very out of character for her 6 year old. I stand by that she feels her hard work went unnoticed and she is acting out of disappointment.

 

[mouey77]

Most 6 year olds don't understand the concept of being 'serious' about a sport, but SOME do. My DD has been serious about gymnastics since she was 3. She has always paid attention, focused, and worked hard. She is now 7 years old competing new level 4 and training TOPS and LOVES every minute of it! While it is easy to speculate about the majority of 6 year olds, I believe the poster was duly concerned as this must be very out of character for her 6 year old. I stand by that she feels her hard work went unnoticed and she is acting out of disappointment.

That is just wonderful for your daughter! Obviously there are personality differences, some kids are more serious than others, etc etc. Six years old is very young. Perfectly normal not to be "serious" yet. I work with elementary school age kids (non gymnasts), and it's the norm more often than not. Just re-read OP. Again sounds to me like the child may be bored. That is just my opinion taken from a post on a message board.

 

[mouey77]

FWIW, gymmomtotwo and bookworm seem spot on to me!

 

[OzZee]

It is very different here. Very few kids are doing 'serious training' at 6 years old. None home schooled etc. But they are doing gymnastics training whereby they are able to perfect one set of skills before trying another. The kids aren't offered to learn skills several levels ahead of where they are actually capable so they can have fun. Therefore, the progression is more linear and they don't suddenly hit a point where they are told they have to restart and perfect all the skills they thought they already knew.
Not saying our system is better, but I can see how not allowing kids to throw skills can help very young kids from thinking gymnastics is about learning a new skill every week or two.
Though some kids who can perfect them can thrive in that environment and reach high levels very young.

Point taken, but I think a great way to burn out a kid is to have them do serious training at age 6. The "serious" gym we looked at had a homeschooling program, and parents of 5 and 6 year olds place kids in this program and/or drive upwards of 2 hrs one way to go to this gym. IMO this is a little crazy given the statistical odds of making it to the elite level or the Olympics. I think 6 is too young to know. Way too many variables. I understand that the gyms are going to spend hours and hours perfecting these basic skills but most active 6 year olds will want to do more. My daughter isn't the only one in her group, and I don't think this necessarily means gymnastics is a bad fit. Too soon to tell.

 

[GYM0M]

In my opinion, 'serious' refers to the mindset of the child. It has nothing to do with the amount of hours, home schooling, etc. At 6, it's about how the child FEELS about gym. OP refers to the drastic change in gym behavior for her DD. She basically went from a 'serious' mindset to .......... ? .......... Each and every child has a different personality, mind-set, and goals, but it is not helpful to make generalized assumptions bc what is considered the 'norm' for most kids. If there is such a change in behavior, OP's concern should not be discounted bc her DD is only 6.

 

[mouey77]

I don't know why we are arguing this, but a child who is "giggling, chatting, wandering off" doesn't sound like she is wallowing in disappointment, though she certainly might be or may have been disappointed. It's hard for a young child to understand how important all the tiny details are, but it's great for them to learn the discipline. And that is just amazing that your THREE year old was so focused and disciplined, Gym0m! How wonderful for you! And thanks for making assumptions, OzZee. Our gym sounds just like what you described your gym is like. I chimed in bc some of DD's behavior sounds similar. But you guys are experts. I'm just an amateur with a 6 yr old competing level 1 who probably has sloppy level 1 or 2 form on her ROBHS at best, so I'm not really qualified to weigh in.

 

[OzZee]

Pretty sure I never said anything about what our gym is like?
I was just stating that from what I've seen many American gyms teach very young kids a lot of more advanced tumbling skills without perfecting the basics.
These kids then reach a point where they can't continue to learn new skills without fixing the basics and doing a lot of conditioning, these kids are then disappointed. It's hard for a 6 year old to understand that gymnastics isn't all about learning a new skill (or 'trick' as some people call them), that new skills take hundreds of repetitions and many hours/months/years to learn when up until that time that is what they have known.
Gymnastics is far more than tumbling.

I didn't make any assumptions about your child or your gym, lol, I have no idea what your child is or isn't doing.

 

[GYM0M]

I don't feel that anyone is trying to argue. Our experiences in gymnastics can offer OP different suggestions. I apologize if my comments upset you or in any way made you feel that your opinions were any less valid. That was not my intention. I am no expert in gymnastics, do not claim to be. I can only offer opinions from MY experiences. The only point I was trying to make is that a change in attitude and behavior for the gymnast should be addressed at any age. The assumption I made from the OP was that this is an ongoing issue whereas previously it was not. I will concur that every child has days where they have a different mood. I did assume that the OP was posed to a forum of 'stranger' parents, gymnasts, and coaches after it has been a continuing issue. I could be wrong in my assumptions. Furthermore, I again apologize if you felt that I in any way made your opinions/experiences less valid because you are new to the sport. I am new, very new, to chalk bucket, but from my explorations of the forums, there is a place for all levels, goals, AND tenures AND all are equally appreciated.

 

[Amusibus]

GYMOM, I love your ... what's it called, "avatar"? Love that.

 

[GYM0M]

It's so true too! Lok

 

[mouey77]

OzZee, did you or did you not say that "perhaps your DD is better suited to tumbling or cheerleading" if she doesn't want to do the "hard work?" At 6. Nice. Our gym is NOT encouraging dd to do back handsprings. SHE wants to do them and practices them at kids' fun night, at home, in the yard, etc. At the very end of practice, the coaches will sometimes spot those kids working on that skill. My point, which to me sounded similar to the OP's, is that my DD thinks the skills done over and over in level 1 floor are "too easy," and she shows similar behaviors "chatting, staring off, wandering away to do back handsprings while waiting for her turn" etc. alllll things the OP described in her post, so as I have already said, I chimed in.

I appreciate your apology, GYM0M. I think my thoughts were just as valid as yours, and the way I read the original post was that the child was generally happy but goofing off due to doing skills that were lower level than what she had previously been working on. I honestly do feel like some of the posts I read on this board are OTT. We are new to all of this over the past year, and as a parent, the intensity at a young age is intimidating. The training in general that I read about on some of these threads sounds pretty intense for young kids. 9 hours/week is a lot for a 6 or 7 year old. But I understand that kids are different and what is a lot for one might be ok for another.

 

[GYM0M]

Gymnastics can be very intimidating for parents, but very rewarding at the same time. Kinda sounds like this has all kinda whammy'd you in the last year. Entering the competitive world is a while new ball game. I still get so nervous sometimes.

I think 9 hours a week is a lot of gym time for a 6-7 year old beginner, but then you have to think about the ones that have been in gym since they could walk. This is going to sound so crazy that I cringe at mentioning it, but my 7 year old puts in over 20 hours of gymnastics a week. She will not miss! Not my rule...that's HER rule! I've encouraged her to slack at times to do summer stuff, but she won't even sleep in.....Her dedication and passion for the sport amaze me and intimidate me at the same time.

 

[alsmom]

Just an outside view- I feel like this thread has gone very off topic, but that essentially you are all saying the same thing. I think it is very difficult not to personalize, especially when you are talking about something that that you can relate to involving your child. There is no one size fits all solution here. We all have different children who respond to training in different ways. As a poster I know I have appreciated a variety of responses based on a variety of experiences.

I feel like this thread has gotten unnecessarily contentious. I hope that we can all move on and continue to be the supportive community that I have come to love and rely on.

 

[mouey77]

Agreed. Sorry the thread derailed.