Parents How do you prepare DD for a "BIG" meet that she may not win....

[Neelysmom]

We are preparing for a very large meet in 2 weeks. DD5 has been winning the past 2 meets and now just thinks she is going to win no matter what. The last 2 meets she has only been against 2 other girls in her group and she actually fell off the beam twice and still won. We are about to go to a meet where there are 48 Level 2s and in a much bigger arena. Of course I have no idea how many she will actually be competing against but I want her to understand she still needs to work hard and that winning is not everything. Any suggestions will be great!

 

[cher062]

Learning to lose is just as important as being a winner. I don't think there is any thing really you can do before hand but after the event be supportive and focus more on her scores as compared to the ones she has already received. If there is improvement in her scores make a big deal of that. When my DD was starting out we kept a small note book of her scores for each meet and after the meet we always went to get a meal at a restaraunt and compared last meet to current meet. We wanted her to consintrate more on improvement in her skill compared to just her rather than her focusing on what trophy she didn't get. We always emphisized that she do gymnastics because she loved it and not for trophies. Trophies we always said were the extras and if she loved what she was doing, having fun, supporting her teammates, and showed improvement then that was the best thing. My DD was always just shy of the ribbons and trophies until about L6 then she started getting the ribbons. Now at L7 she is consistantly in the top 5 and those girls who seemed to get things easily are struggling with the upper level skills. They don't know how to handle that frustration of having to really work hard like my DD and others like her did. As we are moving along in Optional levels I'm seeing more and more the girls that took a little longer and learned how to keep at it are doing much better at the upper levels.

 

[mariposa]

Totally agree that learning to "lose" gracefully is equally important as learning to "win" gracefully. I can't stand to see a girl sulking when they don't place as high as they wanted because there are usually a ton of girls without medals that would do anything to be up there getting that medal.

I tell my daughter that the person that "wins" the meet just means that on THAT day, they gave the best performance overall, it doesn't mean they are the BEST gymnast forever. I think it has helped her to not think that it is attainable for her and also the few times she HAS actually placed 1st in AA or an event, keeps her from letting it go to her head. Being at different kinds of meets is part of this sport. DDs team goes to some really big invitationals, where competition is usually really tough and also some smaller meets where competition is usually more equal.

I never focus on scores with my daughter as goals OR as indicators of improvement. She has already learned that judging is very subjective and one meet she can actually do better and get a lower score and vice versa. Usually on the day before the meet, we talk about her previous meet and she makes some goals for the meet (usually little things, stay on beam, bigger leap, hold handstand longer, things she has been working on in practice, etc.).

Since she is young (I assume DD5 means she is 5?), you might want to talk about how every meet is different and that how you place or score isn't what is important, that doing your best and hopefully setting some goals and making them is. Might be a good time to start a fun after meet tradition (like getting an Icee at Circle K or an ice cream cone from somewhere) that makes it so you are always celebrating, regardless of how the meet went. Just getting out there in front of judges and a ton of people and doing your routines is an accomplishment!

Hope she has fun at the big meet!