WAG How much and how early does gym choice matter

[Mamabear123]

Offer a false last name?

Lol, not sure I could do that. My kid would hate to have to lie about her name. Then if I picked that gym, I'd have to come clean about her real name. Hahaha.

 

[gymbeam]

How do you ask a prospective gym to keep their mouth closed and not tell your gym? I'm so ready to gym shop, but I'm nervous to walk in a gym and her current gym be alerted.

It’s very tricky. Even if the gym agrees not to tell, the kids at the prospective gym go home and tell their parents that a kid named “such and such” tried out today and from there it easily gets back to the home gym thanks to gymnastics community being so small, social media making it easy to find people from their names, and from mymeetscores, etc. having kid’s names and gyms out for the public to see.

 

[Mamabear123]

It’s very tricky. Even if the gym agrees not to tell, the kids at the prospective gym go home and tell their parents that a kid named “such and such” tried out today and from there it easily gets back to the home gym thanks to gymnastics community being so small, social media making it easy to find people from their names, and from mymeetscores, etc. having kid’s names and gyms out for the public to see.

So maybe I could ask the gym to keep it quiet because of fear of repercussions?

 

[gymbeam]

So maybe I could ask the gym to keep it quiet because of fear of repercussions?

Yes, but often they will want a kid to do a whole practice as a try out and it would be hard to withhold their name from the kids in their group.

However, if they just did try outs separately from those practicing it would be much easier to remain anonymous.

 

[Aussie_coach]

Offer a false last name?

That will get weird if you actually join the new gym.

 

[rjb123]

Even if you did use a fake name, at a certain level, the gymnastics world seems to get very small. The girls all know each other at least by sight, if they have not talked at meets etc- I just think it would be hard to fly under the radar.

 

[bookworm]

What I did when we moved gyms is that I went and researched them on my own...without my girls. I would come in alone , just watching a practice and seeing how it is run. I wandered into the parent area and listened to the chatter, while reading my book as a decoy....if anyone asked, I was here for "my niece"...no one ever asked names, basically figuring I wasn't worth their effort I guess because I was a one time chauffeur.

After all this, I would call the gym and ask to meet with the owner, and I would say "I am moving to the area and looking at gyms"....not a lie exactly as I would be moving my car ride to that area. I always gave my maiden name, that no one knew even if they looked up gymnasts with that name...then when I got to the gym, the owner/HC recognized me (because I moved my girls as upper level optionals when their original gym lost all their legitimate level 10 coaches) so they knew the gymnasts I was bringing, and we didn't need a try out. And then after the move was confirmed, I would go home, tell my girls (who knew I was researching) that they were done at X gym tomorrow and would start at Y gym on Monday...I did it at the end of the month so that usually worked fine.

I moved for a reason... the original gym lost its coaches, states they didn't need new coaches, and refused to admit that the gym mom at the desk wasn't a level 10 coach, and I wasn't paying for that. I sent a blast email to all the gym parents before I exited the gym that last day so the gym couldn't lie about why we left. We are still very friendly with a lot of families from our former gym so it worked out ok. I know if I had said anything up front about moving, we would have been tossed because I saw it happen, so I have zero regrets about how I made the move. I protected my kids, period.

 

[John]

I moved Dani 11 months ago. I was straight honest with the old gym and thanked them. For everything they did for her. Asked if it didn't work could we return and was told yes.

My letter.



Justin,

I have something very difficult to speak with you about. I don't even know where to start. I was going to wait but I don't want you to hear it from anyone but myself. I was going to ask you to call me when you had a minute but figured I needed to open the conversation here as I am very emotional at times like this and tend to choke up.

I must start by saying that You, MIcheala and Everyone at GYS have done so much for Danielle, you guys are like her second family. You have taken her from a timid child who wouldn't be on the floor by herself to a blossoming young lady. You have made her a confident girl who appreciates what hard work can give her. That this hard work will make her a better person as she grows up.

Dani, Amanda, and I have decided that this upcoming season she will dip her foot into the world of USAG gymnastics. She has picked a gym and will be moving after states. I do not know what or how a year of USAG gymnastics will affect her but she wants to try. Should she decide it is not what she wants I want her to have the option to return to GYS that ability means more to me than anything. I hope you will leave this option open to her.

I am not sure what else to say.

Call me should you want to talk I will try my best.

John

Good luck to everyone considering a gym change now or in the future.

 

[Mamabear123]

What I did when we moved gyms is that I went and researched them on my own...without my girls. I would come in alone , just watching a practice and seeing how it is run. I wandered into the parent area and listened to the chatter, while reading my book as a decoy....if anyone asked, I was here for "my niece"...no one ever asked names, basically figuring I wasn't worth their effort I guess because I was a one time chauffeur.

After all this, I would call the gym and ask to meet with the owner, and I would say "I am moving to the area and looking at gyms"....not a lie exactly as I would be moving my car ride to that area. I always gave my maiden name, that no one knew even if they looked up gymnasts with that name...then when I got to the gym, the owner/HC recognized me (because I moved my girls as upper level optionals when their original gym lost all their legitimate level 10 coaches) so they knew the gymnasts I was bringing, and we didn't need a try out. And then after the move was confirmed, I would go home, tell my girls (who knew I was researching) that they were done at X gym tomorrow and would start at Y gym on Monday...I did it at the end of the month so that usually worked fine.

I moved for a reason... the original gym lost its coaches, states they didn't need new coaches, and refused to admit that the gym mom at the desk wasn't a level 10 coach, and I wasn't paying for that. I sent a blast email to all the gym parents before I exited the gym that last day so the gym couldn't lie about why we left. We are still very friendly with a lot of families from our former gym so it worked out ok. I know if I had said anything up front about moving, we would have been tossed because I saw it happen, so I have zero regrets about how I made the move. I protected my kids, period.

Yes, this is what I'm afraid of. I'm almost positive that if I tell current gym that I'm looking at other gyms, they would show me the door and DD would be devastated. She's the highest scoring gymnast on her team (but that isn't saying too much) so I think they would be upset with her leaving. One of her teammates gave a 1 week notice last season and they told her not to return.

 

[duyetanh]

Yes, this is what I'm afraid of. I'm almost positive that if I tell current gym that I'm looking at other gyms, they would show me the door and DD would be devastated. She's the highest scoring gymnast on her team (but that isn't saying too much) so I think they would be upset with her leaving. One of her teammates gave a 1 week notice last season and they told her not to return.

If you feel this way and that it would be toxic, I would not tell them until you were out the door.

 

[amiandjim]

Honestly Mamabear, it seems like you know you aren’t in the right place for your daughter. So, I would look at the gyms that you are interested in, take her for an eval, and go from there. If your current gym finds out and says “see ya later.” You know that you really need to move anyway, right?

 

[blueberrygym]

I feel like that would be one of the first questions they ask... "How old is she, what level is she, and what gym does she currently attend?"

Yep, those are all of the questions I was asked when I started inquiring at other gyms. Unfortunately, there was a bias against our old gym and it made it hard to make a switch. So if you can avoid sharing too much information, that would be great!

 

[duyetanh]

Yep, those are all of the questions I was asked when I started inquiring at other gyms. Unfortunately, there was a bias against our old gym and it made it hard to make a switch. So if you can avoid sharing too much information, that would be great!

You don’t need to answer those questions, especially because the person who answers the phone might even be a parent. You can just say you don’t feel comfortable sharing that information until you can speak with a coach. If you actually get a coach on the phone, then you can give the bare minimum and say you would like to arrange a meetup before practice in person.

 

[coachmolly]

I think leaving sooner is probably better, especially if she is not getting the strong foundation she needs at the lower levels. If it were a case where the gym provided excellent basics and just didn't have an upper level coach, I wouldn't be as concerned about making the switch so soon, but basics are so important at the lower levels and can really hold a kid back later on if they are lacking. It's possible your daughter will fit right in at her current level, catch up quickly, and continue on as planned, but also don't be surprised if they recommend another year at her current level to play catch up.
If your daughter is hungry for more and the gym is kind and understanding, logic says they should be okay with her moving along to at least try a higher intensity program. I coach at an Xcel only gym, we have great coaches and very skilled, well trained athletes, but obviously they can only go so far with Xcel. If I had a kid with potential tell me she was leaving to pursue JO at another club, I would be sad, but I would also encourage and support that choice because I know there is only so much we can give her. For some of our kids that are very talented, I actually feel badly that we don't have an amazing JO program nearby to refer them to. Though I imagine it is quite different in places were there are multiple competitive gyms in a relatively small area and they are a little more competitive with each other for athletes.

 

[Nikki4]

I was once told here by someone I trust, any USAG gym works until she’s 7, then it’s time to make sure you’re at a gym that has what you need, upper levels, elite, etc

 

[littlegirlsdream]

I was once told here by someone I trust, any USAG gym works until she’s 7, then it’s time to make sure you’re at a gym that has what you need, upper levels, elite, etc

Level 7 or age 7? Just curious.

 

[duyetanh]

Age 7...but believe it or not many on here will say it’s even younger

 

[Dahlia]

Age 7...but believe it or not many on here will say it’s even younger

As someone whose daughter still struggles with form due to a bad gym WAY prior to age 7, I will be one of those. I don't think the preteam/team component is necessary at a young age. Rec is great, but if they are not teaching basics properly, there will be issues later. Any gym that does a good job of teaching the basics is going to be fine at a young age.

 

[LindyHopper]

Age 7...but believe it or not many on here will say it’s even younger

Shoot! Short Stack didn't even start pre-team until she was 8.

 

[gymyogimom]

Most gyms don't ask their current gym when you call they ask their level and usually understand it is confidential. I'm sure they look the kid up to know what to expect if it is at lower levels. If it is upper levels I'm sure most long term coaches know the kids by sight. I mean even as parents you probavly know a few kids from all the gyms within the local area, by name... Like the girl whose name is a state name or the girl who has the same last name as your high school friend, so you end up getting used to seeing their name and how they do at the same competition as your daughter