Women How to get parents on board w/gym switch

[All Chalked Up]

There are many reasons why I want to switch gyms (insufficent/unsafe coaching, unsafe/insufficent equipment, bullied by coach, favouritsm, talks badly about former gymnasts, doesn't care, etc.) but I am having trouble convincing my parents.

They're quite invested with the gym as they are part of the board (it's volunteer) and I believe that's mostly why they don't want me to leave. I think they also have a false sense that the gym is improving but it's not (I coach everyday I'm not training so I see things from that POV also).

I am frequently in tears after practice- very unusual for me- and a very close teamate has quit because of said reasons.

I don't know how to talk to my parents about this any more than I already have, advice please! I would sooner quit gymnastics than deal with this anymore... that's not how I want my gym career to end.

 

[gymmomtoo]

Tell them all this again--and tell them that last part about wanting to quit if you can't switch because you can't continue like this. It sounds like you have sound reasons for wanting to move gyms (not--the other gym scores better or something similar!), so make them sit down to have a serious talk with them.

 

[SurpriseGymMom]

As a parent, if my child came to me with these concerns I would want them to switch gyms!
Make a list of actual, concrete examples (for example "the bars keep breaking when we attempt flyways and Susie got hurt last week as a result", " coach bob never spots us doing skill x and I feel very unsafe", etc).
Try to sit down with your parents and have a calm discussion, present these facts along with how you feel and let them know that you are not wanting to diminish their involvement with the gym/your training. They can be involved with a new gym, you just want to feel safe and cared for as a gymnast. Don't get overly emotional or whiny, emphasize how much you appreciate all they do and that you do love the sport but cannot continue this way without some major changes. Be prepared to compromise (perhaps they know info that you don't such as the gym has already ordered new equipment and is sending coach bob to a seminar for safer coaching etc) so definitely hear them out as well.
Good luck and I hope you can come to a happy conclusion!

 

[All Chalked Up]

Thanks for the advice! I'm going to ask them to sit down with me & we'll have a talk about it (again)

 

[iwannacoach]

......perhaps they know info that you don't such as the gym has already ordered new equipment and is sending coach bob to a seminar for safer coaching etc......

Hey, who knows, maybe they've placed an order for a new "coach Bob".......

Everything should be presented as a truthful fact and if there's an issue that can't be supported by factual instances, you can tell them "it feels" or "it hurts my feelings" or I'm starting to believe that "Bob" doesn't care about me and I'm starting to wonder If I'm worth caring about because he just doesn't see me as worth his time.

About whining..... Don't whine for effect. I would encourage you to feel every word that comes truthfully from your heart. If it gets to that try to hold back the tears that may be trying to come out, but if that's the way your words make you feel, you sadness should be allowed to surface, and does you should take a break and pick up with it later in the day.

Here's something they may assume isn't at jeopardy, but it sounds to me that it is..... Here's a few briefly edited excerpts from a conversation between two people very close to me.

Give it to them and tell them it's about how you feel, and that you want to make sure their decision is based on everything they want for every part of you..... your body, your mind, your spirit, and the things you love and invest in with all the energy and heart you can summon.......
....... I spent a fair amount of time thinking about what gymnastics has done for me, and considered that with you in mind. I think the greatest good comes in learning how to constructively pursue a passion, because it's easy to do extraordinary things when your heart pulls you along for the ride......
.......The greater benefit...... going through the process of pursuing a passion teaches that you can do exceptional things by committing all your energy, even when those things are outside your sphere of interest, but still need to be done. That self image and experience will be valuable when..........

Maybe if you can tell them what's truly at stake......

Take care.....

 

[All Chalked Up]

Thanks a lot iwannacoach. I am not a whiner but when I feel strongly about something and am not sure how to verbalize it (with my parents anyway), I can be a bit of a crier.

That conversation is golden. And if only the gym could afford new equipment... and new coaches... they hardly get by as it is & make no secret of that fact.

 

[iwannacoach]

Well you could put together a fundraising campaign, and the first fundraiser could be to raffle off coach "Bob" to some unsuspecting club ....... That oughta raise a few Loonies, and I mean... just a few.