Parents How to help DD wait a whole 16 months until first competition?

[gymhorsemom]

She is a complicated case. She has a great time when she's there, and she doesn't even mind the conditioning. She picks up skills quickly, makes corrections well and is strong. The problem is that she complains about going - not all the time - but enough that I can't see her sticking with it when the hours increase. She is a strong-willed little thing, and she has it in her mind that she'll get on the team, try it for a bit, and then quit if she doesn't like it. We go months without any incident, and then randomly she'll start talking about quitting again. She isn't involved in any other activities, so it isn't that. More than anything, I think it's that she is tired right after school and wants some down time before gym, and that just can't happen with the team hours. Once she's there, you would never know, because she has the time of her life. I just don't want to battle her over it, so if she gets persistent about quitting, it's probably for the best. It makes me sad, but I'm trying to remember that it's not about me.

Oh I see. Yeah, never fun to fight them about going -that was me and my daughter with ballet.

 

[gymhorsemom]

That is a very healthy way of looking at it!

Trust me it's taken some work for me not become CGM and to try my best attempt at "healthy."

 

[billise]

We are in exactly the same boat. It's going to be a year from August before mine competes level 3. It feels like forever. I'm not even sure my DD will stay in gymnastics that long, and it's a shame, because I think if she got a taste of competition (and medals/ribbons) it would be very exciting for her. I don't have any advice for you - just shared frustration.

Our gym doesn't move up mid-season, and they decide now who will be ready for fall competition. Only the girls who move into the level 3 training group now will begin training on routines and get extra hours, so if you aren't picked now then it's a guarantee that you won't be ready by August. That's my understanding, anyway. Our gym likes routines to be extremely polished. It sounds a lot like billsie's gym.

This is exactly why I'm glad our old gym handled our young compulsory girls the way they did. I believe my DD probably would have stayed in gym even if she hadn't been able to compete but that year of competition, really sparked a passion for gymnastics in her. Getting to dress up in the sparkly leo with the fancy "meet hair" and getting to hear her name called (even if her only medal was the AA medal that everyone received) was great for her. At her first meet she was so excited to come in 11th place AA and get her medal that as a 6 year old, she didn't even put it together that her name was the last name called meaning she was 11th out of 11

By mid way through the season she really wanted to get "more than just one medal" but she left every meet feeling like she had accomplished something and honestly. I think when a 6 or a 7 year old gets out there and does these skills they have accomplished something pretty spectacular and should be made to feel that way.

Once a girl reaches say 9 or 10 things become a bit more complicated in terms of where their motivation needs to come from but for the little ones I really liked old gyms philosophy for their little gymmies: "coach them well but let them experience and enjoy competition while they are learning.

I think new gym is right where DD needs to be at this point in her gymnastics "career" but I feel that a year/year and a half ago old gym was right where she needed to be at that point in her "career"

 

[emorymom]

Well, if it's just bars, you might approach them and offer to pay for a bars private a week until she catches up, if they will give her a trial of the team group. Most of L3 bars is strength.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Granted you have to know your kid. But at some point doesn't everyone young and old have days they just don't want to do something. Long day a school, she is tired. I have those days.

This is time of year I start getting push back from my daughter. The weather is nice, the windows are open. She can hear her friends running around the neighborhood. As she is eating and finishing up homework to head off to gym. And the grumbling starts.

Now all her friends do other things, its just that everyone's schedule is a little different. And she needs to be reminded of that. Soccer, baseball, BMX. And I remind her of the days of the week where she out and about running around. And why I won't have her at Gym more than 3 days a week every week. We do add in privates from time to time. But outside of gym camp in summer. 3 days a week is it for us.

The other thing is my kid is nearly an only (older bro is 21), she is social yet could be "a head stuck in media kid if we let her". So she needs to do something.

So when she starts grumbling about gym. I am empathic and I tell her she can quit anytime, and I truly 100% mean it. But she needs to tell me what she would like to do in place of it. Because, staying home and doing nothing is not an option. Music, karate, dance, soccer, girl scouts. What's it gonna be??? She always picks gym

And she grumbles now and then, but when she gets there, she happily gets ready and heads out to the floor with a smile and a kiss. She has a good time, works hard and enjoys her gym friends. The day she is consistently miserable at gym, is when we are done.

 

[AV24]

This is exactly why I'm glad our old gym handled our young compulsory girls the way they did. I believe my DD probably would have stayed in gym even if she hadn't been able to compete but that year of competition, really sparked a passion for gymnastics in her. Getting to dress up in the sparkly leo with the fancy "meet hair" and getting to hear her name called (even if her only medal was the AA medal that everyone received) was great for her. At her first meet she was so excited to come in 11th place AA and get her medal that as a 6 year old, she didn't even put it together that her name was the last name called meaning she was 11th out of 11

This is how I wish our gym would be. I think it would help. I understand wanting to win, but it would be nice to give them a taste of competing while they are young. Every other sport I can think of has games or tournaments right from the start.

Granted you have to know your kid. But at some point doesn't everyone young and old have days they just don't want to do something. Long day a school, she is tired. I have those days.

This is time of year I start getting push back from my daughter. The weather is nice, the windows are open. She can hear her friends running around the neighborhood. As she is eating and finishing up homework to head off to gym. And the grumbling starts.

Now all her friends do other things, its just that everyone's schedule is a little different. And she needs to be reminded of that. Soccer, baseball, BMX. And I remind her of the days of the week where she out and about running around. And why I won't have her at Gym more than 3 days a week every week. We do add in privates from time to time. But outside of gym camp in summer. 3 days a week is it for us.

The other thing is my kid is nearly an only (older bro is 21), she is social yet could be "a head stuck in media kid if we let her". So she needs to do something.

So when she starts grumbling about gym. I am empathic and I tell her she can quit anytime, and I truly 100% mean it. But she needs to tell me what she would like to do in place of it. Because, staying home and doing nothing is not an option. Music, karate, dance, soccer, girl scouts. What's it gonna be??? She always picks gym

And she grumbles now and then, but when she gets there, she happily gets ready and heads out to the floor with a smile and a kiss. She has a good time, works hard and enjoys her gym friends. The day she is consistently miserable at gym, is when we are done.

I'm hoping that's all this is for my DD, too. It seems like we go through this every few months. I sometimes wish gymnastics was seasonal, so they would have built-in breaks. I get it, but it's hard to push her to go on those 'tired days.' It makes me feel like a bad mom. My gut instinct is that if she quits, she'll regret it one day, and she won't be able to go back. She's been ready to move up to the next level for months now. They keep putting it off to wait for the higher levels to move up first, if that makes sense. I'm going to keep her in long enough to try the next training group, and then if she still wants to quit after that, I'll probably let her.

 

[gymhorsemom]

This is exactly why I'm glad our old gym handled our young compulsory girls the way they did. I believe my DD probably would have stayed in gym even if she hadn't been able to compete but that year of competition, really sparked a passion for gymnastics in her. Getting to dress up in the sparkly leo with the fancy "meet hair" and getting to hear her name called (even if her only medal was the AA medal that everyone received) was great for her. At her first meet she was so excited to come in 11th place AA and get her medal that as a 6 year old, she didn't even put it together that her name was the last name called meaning she was 11th out of 11

By mid way through the season she really wanted to get "more than just one medal" but she left every meet feeling like she had accomplished something and honestly. I think when a 6 or a 7 year old gets out there and does these skills they have accomplished something pretty spectacular and should be made to feel that way.

Once a girl reaches say 9 or 10 things become a bit more complicated in terms of where their motivation needs to come from but for the little ones I really liked old gyms philosophy for their little gymmies: "coach them well but let them experience and enjoy competition while they are learning.

I think new gym is right where DD needs to be at this point in her gymnastics "career" but I feel that a year/year and a half ago old gym was right where she needed to be at that point in her "career"

That's interesting -I have also heard that some parents recommend waiting until the kids are more polished and confident to have them compete b/c some kids are driven away by competing before they are ready. I wonder which is better. After reading your post about your DD's great experience competing early I am tempted to push to have my DD compete next fall. The question is will she have all of the bar skills -do you ever see kids compete still missing a FHC or something? Honestly my DD's form is much better than a lot of the girls who will be competing -but they have the bar skills (or are close) and she doesn't.

 

[billise]

That's interesting -I have also heard that some parents recommend waiting until the kids are more polished and confident to have them compete b/c some kids are driven away by competing before they are ready. I wonder which is better. After reading your post about your DD's great experience competing early I am tempted to push to have my DD compete next fall. The question is will she have all of the bar skills -do you ever see kids compete still missing a FHC or something? Honestly my DD's form is much better than a lot of the girls who will be competing -but they have the bar skills (or are close) and she doesn't.

Our old gym is a great gym, their optionals are always one of the top teams in the state with many D1 scholarships. Owner is very well known in the gymnastics community and has a tremendous background in early childhood development. His background lead him to the conclusion that he would rather compete his young and/or brand new gymnasts in AAU. AAU has smaller awards grouping and they medal out 100% for AA meaning EVERY girl who competes all 4 event will get at least one medal. AAU also medals out 50% + 1 for events (meaning if 12 girls competed in my DD's age grouping 7 girls would receive a medal in the individual events). Because of the award structure my DD always got at least one medal and was usually able to squeak out an event medal or two as well. I'm not sure how she would have done competing USAG where the awards structure is different. If she NEVER got a medal (which is a possibility with USAG) it MIGHT have gotten old for her. I think it just depends on the kid.

At old gym, if there was one skill that a girl may have been a bit shaky on, coaches would spot her on that skill. Of course it was a deduction but again, old gym didn't emphasize scores with the little ones so it was no big deal. As far as I know, new gym will not spot. If the child is missing a level 3 skill they will not be on level 3. If they are on level 3 but a skill is not polished enough they will scratch that event. Most of new gyms level 3's seem to be 9 or 10 years old. New gym is a very well respected gym too. Old gym and new gym just have different philosophies when it comes to the compulsory levels.

Bottom line is you know your kid and her coaches know the kind of competition she will face. You have to balance those 2 perspectives and decide accordingly. Again, my DD's experience was wonderful BUT, I think competing AAU instead of USAG played a role in that which is exactly why old gym chooses to do it that way.

 

[gymhorsemom]

Our old gym is a great gym, their optionals are always one of the top teams in the state with many D1 scholarships. Owner is very well known in the gymnastics community and has a tremendous background in early childhood development. His background lead him to the conclusion that he would rather compete his young and/or brand new gymnasts in AAU. AAU has smaller awards grouping and they medal out 100% for AA meaning EVERY girl who competes all 4 event will get at least one medal. AAU also medals out 50% + 1 for events (meaning if 12 girls competed in my DD's age grouping 7 girls would receive a medal in the individual events). Because of the award structure my DD always got at least one medal and was usually able to squeak out an event medal or two as well. I'm not sure how she would have done competing USAG where the awards structure is different. If she NEVER got a medal (which is a possibility with USAG) it MIGHT have gotten old for her. I think it just depends on the kid.

At old gym, if there was one skill that a girl may have been a bit shaky on, coaches would spot her on that skill. Of course it was a deduction but again, old gym didn't emphasize scores with the little ones so it was no big deal. As far as I know, new gym will not spot. If the child is missing a level 3 skill they will not be on level 3. If they are on level 3 but a skill is not polished enough they will scratch that event. Most of new gyms level 3's seem to be 9 or 10 years old. New gym is a very well respected gym too. Old gym and new gym just have different philosophies when it comes to the compulsory levels.

Bottom line is you know your kid and her coaches know the kind of competition she will face. You have to balance those 2 perspectives and decide accordingly. Again, my DD's experience was wonderful BUT, I think competing AAU instead of USAG played a role in that which is exactly why old gym chooses to do it that way.

Thanks for the response. I wish they offered that at our gym. I'm not sure if AAU even exists in my area actually. It did occur to me that our gym has an excel bronze team and I wondered if DD could compete bronze next year to get a little experience and just to not have to wait so darn long. But was sort of hesitant to ask about this as I don't know if the gym does it this way or not.

 

[billise]

Many gyms really discourage switching back and forth between USAG and XCEL tracks. If they have her on a USAG track that's a good thing. Also, XCEL typically has less practice time which, could slow down her development.

MAYBE they would allow her to scratch bars if she doesn't have the skills come meet season.

 

[gymhorsemom]

Many gyms really discourage switching back and forth between USAG and XCEL tracks. If they have her on a USAG track that's a good thing. Also, XCEL typically has less practice time which, could slow down her development.

MAYBE they would allow her to scratch bars if she doesn't have the skills come meet season.

Would you ask about something like this -scratching bars? I don't want to seem like a pushy parent and I want to trust the coaches -but it is also a bit frustrating to watch. Or even just a spot for FHC would probably do the trick -I just don't feel that she's much behind the girls who will be competing. We have approx 2 months before the groups separate out and DD stays in pre team and others go to "team" group. I'm sort of hoping for a miracle during this time but don't want to let DD know that I care.

 

[Mrs. Puma]

She is a complicated case. She has a great time when she's there, and she doesn't even mind the conditioning. She picks up skills quickly, makes corrections well and is strong. The problem is that she complains about going - not all the time - but enough that I can't see her sticking with it when the hours increase. She is a strong-willed little thing, and she has it in her mind that she'll get on the team, try it for a bit, and then quit if she doesn't like it. We go months without any incident, and then randomly she'll start talking about quitting again. She isn't involved in any other activities, so it isn't that. More than anything, I think it's that she is tired right after school and wants some down time before gym, and that just can't happen with the team hours. Once she's there, you would never know, because she has the time of her life. I just don't want to battle her over it, so if she gets persistent about quitting, it's probably for the best. It makes me sad, but I'm trying to remember that it's not about me.

My 9 year old dance DD wants to quit after this year She isn't even excited about her competiton this weekend. I must admit I'm very sad. She's a beautiful dancer when she wants to be! So I TOTALLY get it about remembering it's not about me! Good luck!

 

[duyetanh]

No offense to the coach or gym, but I am glad my kid isn't at your gym, because as someone posted earlier, how will they for sure know in April how she is in August? Kids can change rapidly. Mine sure did. It was a shocker to even the coach. Weird sh*t happens. And does. This said, every coach has the right to change their mind...

 

[gymhorsemom]

No offense to the coach or gym, but I am glad my kid isn't at your gym, because as someone posted earlier, how will they for sure know in April how she is in August? Kids can change rapidly. Mine sure did. It was a shocker to even the coach. Weird sh*t happens. And does. This said, every coach has the right to change their mind...

I think that is what is bothering me in particular at the moment about the situation of my daughter not being advanced -from what I can tell (and I am not a coach) she has made great strides between when the letters (team or stay on pre team) came out which was about 5 weeks ago and now. I'm thinking it's possible that she could make great strides in the next 4 months -and wish she could be given a chance. My friend's DD just barely made level 3 team last year and ended up doing pretty well -better than a lot of her teammates who were better earlier on. I hate that my daughter has already not made team when she was apparently so close.

 

[billise]

Would you ask about something like this -scratching bars? I don't want to seem like a pushy parent and I want to trust the coaches -but it is also a bit frustrating to watch. Or even just a spot for FHC would probably do the trick -I just don't feel that she's much behind the girls who will be competing. We have approx 2 months before the groups separate out and DD stays in pre team and others go to "team" group. I'm sort of hoping for a miracle during this time but don't want to let DD know that I care.

Well, it really depends on your relationship with her coaches. At our old gym coaches were extremely accessible and it would have been very easy to broach the topic very casually. At new gym coaches are great but they tend to stay out on the gym floor. They are very responsive to texts and emails but everything seems a lot more "official" so I probably wouldn't broach that subject specifically at new gym. But, at new gym I wouldn't hesitate to ask for some clarity about their plans for DD as competition season approaches.

What ever you choose to do I encourage you to not let your frustration build up. You start looking like a crazy gym mom when you talk to the coaches from a place of frustration. If you can SINCERELY approach the coaches from a place of just wanting to understand their plans for your DD whatever they may be, the coaches will be able to respect that, and even if the answer is not what you want to hear you'll feel better when you get a little clarity. Right now it sounds like you don't know for sure what their plans are, only that they haven't moved her yet.

A lot can happen with a 7.5 year over the next 2 months and I suspect the coaches understand that as well.