Women How to process negative encouragement

[Deleted member 18037]

Nice to know all is OK

 

[GymRays]

Good to hear you got some answers. Its true when they say it takes a village.

 

[mOm2gymnast<3]

I don't like negative coaching. And I don't think it works. Just two weeks ago, a coach called my dd's team babies and that pacifiers are needed to be brought at the meet so they stop whining. I don't see this as productive!

 

[Judybird]

If it is negative to an extent that the girls are demoralized and don't want to put in the work to keep improving it is bad bad bad. Sorry to hear about the pacifier comment. Not cool.

 

[gasrgoose]

I don't like negative coaching. And I don't think it works. Just two weeks ago, a coach called my dd's team babies and that pacifiers are needed to be brought at the meet so they stop whining. I don't see this as productive!

While I agree there's not much good that comes out of a comment like you've reported. Remember that coaches are people and people have bad days and make mistakes and say things they shouldn't. I wouldn't want to be judged ONLY based on my low moments and I don't judge coaches (or others) ONLY by their low moments.

Sounds like the OP handled the situation really well. It also sounds like she has a great coach who cares about the kids and makes them better gymnasts.....but like everyone else isn't perfect.

 

[Dr Maleficent]

Kind of like Maleficent. I always said she was misunderstood

Exactly!

 

[Judybird]

While I agree there's not much good that comes out of a comment like you've reported. Remember that coaches are people and people have bad days and make mistakes and say things they shouldn't. I wouldn't want to be judged ONLY based on my low moments and I don't judge coaches (or others) ONLY by their low moments.

So so true. This is exactly why I didn't charge into angry, protective mama bear mode when she got into the car sobbing and told me what she did on Thursday night. We've had this coach for 2 years and have seen that while he says some awful things periodically, there are far more episodes of great skill/technique coaching combined with behavior that supports trust and camaraderie among the girls. Heaven knows I have said terrible things to people in the past and ended up feeling like the biggest jerk ever. I'm glad the people in my past haven't written me off permanently when that happens.

 

[Ali'sMom]

So glad I read all the way through! and that coach sought you out.

Good luck with everything going on.

 

[GlobalNomad]

The OP's comment that "He explains his behavior to other parents frequently" gave me the impression that the behavior was common for this coach.