superflipgirl
Gymnast
- Jul 17, 2009
- 217
- 92
This is a LONG vent, so please bear with me.....
High school gymnastics season just started....which normally I would be SO excited for, but after our first practice today, I just don't know. A little background: I'm a senior, so it's my last year. Did club gymnastics for 10+ years when I was younger, quit when I got to high school and I did cheerleading for two years. Absolute worst decision ever. I know I can't change the past, but especially now I realize how bad it was that I took two years off. I've pretty much lost all my skills, I was on prep op but almost a level 7 skill wise right before I quit, and now I can barely do anything, not to mention that I grew 3 inches during the time I quit so now it's even harder. I developed some really bad fear issues during cheerleading due to an incident that put me under a lot of pressure to get harder skills. My first year on the high school team was last year, my junior year, after I quit cheerleading and I actually somewhat regained some of those skills, and could even do a lot of the skills from gymnastics I hadn't done in years(like a back walkover on the high beam). All those skills are pretty much gone.
That's not really what's making me upset though(although it certainly doesn't help). Last year, when I joined the team, everyone was SO supportive of me, the coaches and all the teammates. They really helped me feel like I had been a member of the team as long as they had. And at that time, I still had a lot of my skills, so they actually seemed really happy to have me on the team. But for some reason, in the middle of the season last year, I don't know what happened but it seemed like they didn't like me as much. And to be honest, I think it's just some of the things I said. I didn't say anything rude...what I mean is I think I might have tried a little too hard to fit in. I went through two depressing years with a very unwelcoming group of girls in cheerleading, and felt under SO much pressure to fit in with the team and find a group of girls who I was close to. For some reason, I seriously think everyone on the team, including the coaches, thinks I have issues. Well not issues, but like, over-anxiety and they think I'm immature. I've tried not to seem too intrusive, which I feel like may have been the problem because I was just trying so hard to become friends with everyone. But I'm the oldest on the team, the only senior, and everyone talks to me like I'm a little baby who just joined the team. No one believes that I used to be really good, and I don't think anyone realizes what I've been through with cheerleading. This one girl last year would always tell me that I need to "think about what I say before I say it"...a girl 2 years younger than me talking to me as if I'm a kindergardener. And I offered to help her with something a few days ago and she said "No, it's okay I don't need your help" in an aggressive tone. And last year I kept telling the coaches that I was planning to put certain skills in my routine because I thought I could still do my old skills at the time, and of course I found out I wasn't as good as I used to be, so the coaches assumed that I was one of those over confident people who thinks they can do more than I could, and to be honest they never watch what I'm doing anymore unless I ask them for corrections. Everyone assumes I don't know how to do anything...whenever I'm helping with moving equipment, the girls on the team talk to me as if I don't know what I'm doing, they'll say that I'm not trying hard enough and if I walk away from the mat I'm moving for one second, they'll be like, "Um, can you please help us? We're doing all the work." I actually think I'm one of the most helpful people on the team, and no one else realizes that. The coaches will like thank other people and say you guys were such a big help, without even looking at me. I give suggestions for other people's routines(I know all about high school gymnastics because I've read all the rule books) and even if I have a really good suggestion everyone will ignore me because they think that I don't know anything because I've only been on the team for two years.
Sorry for the long vent, but you have no idea how hard this is on me. I went through two years of this with cheerleading, and last year I really thought I had found a group of girls and coaches who I felt close to. Nobody realizes that if I say "dumb" things sometimes it's because NOBODY ever listened to me when I talked to them in cheer, and I'm just trying to fit in and feel under so much pressure to do so. Nobody cares about how nice I am to everyone, how much I offer to help with mats, etc., that I'm a straight a student and I work so hard in school and I put so much pressure on myself with school and college...and they just assume that I don't know anything and treat me like I'm the youngest on the team. This is my last year on the high school team, probably my last year of gymnastics, and I'm already not enjoying it as much as I hoped I would
I really, really appreciate it if you read this whole thing....I'm in tears just after typing this :'( I can't talk to anyone about it, not even my parents, because my parents were so upset about how the girls on cheerleading treated me, and just seemed so happy with my gymnastics experience from last year, and I do not want to take that happiness away from them and for them to stress out over me.
Again, thank you to anyone who read this all, and I would love some advice
High school gymnastics season just started....which normally I would be SO excited for, but after our first practice today, I just don't know. A little background: I'm a senior, so it's my last year. Did club gymnastics for 10+ years when I was younger, quit when I got to high school and I did cheerleading for two years. Absolute worst decision ever. I know I can't change the past, but especially now I realize how bad it was that I took two years off. I've pretty much lost all my skills, I was on prep op but almost a level 7 skill wise right before I quit, and now I can barely do anything, not to mention that I grew 3 inches during the time I quit so now it's even harder. I developed some really bad fear issues during cheerleading due to an incident that put me under a lot of pressure to get harder skills. My first year on the high school team was last year, my junior year, after I quit cheerleading and I actually somewhat regained some of those skills, and could even do a lot of the skills from gymnastics I hadn't done in years(like a back walkover on the high beam). All those skills are pretty much gone.
That's not really what's making me upset though(although it certainly doesn't help). Last year, when I joined the team, everyone was SO supportive of me, the coaches and all the teammates. They really helped me feel like I had been a member of the team as long as they had. And at that time, I still had a lot of my skills, so they actually seemed really happy to have me on the team. But for some reason, in the middle of the season last year, I don't know what happened but it seemed like they didn't like me as much. And to be honest, I think it's just some of the things I said. I didn't say anything rude...what I mean is I think I might have tried a little too hard to fit in. I went through two depressing years with a very unwelcoming group of girls in cheerleading, and felt under SO much pressure to fit in with the team and find a group of girls who I was close to. For some reason, I seriously think everyone on the team, including the coaches, thinks I have issues. Well not issues, but like, over-anxiety and they think I'm immature. I've tried not to seem too intrusive, which I feel like may have been the problem because I was just trying so hard to become friends with everyone. But I'm the oldest on the team, the only senior, and everyone talks to me like I'm a little baby who just joined the team. No one believes that I used to be really good, and I don't think anyone realizes what I've been through with cheerleading. This one girl last year would always tell me that I need to "think about what I say before I say it"...a girl 2 years younger than me talking to me as if I'm a kindergardener. And I offered to help her with something a few days ago and she said "No, it's okay I don't need your help" in an aggressive tone. And last year I kept telling the coaches that I was planning to put certain skills in my routine because I thought I could still do my old skills at the time, and of course I found out I wasn't as good as I used to be, so the coaches assumed that I was one of those over confident people who thinks they can do more than I could, and to be honest they never watch what I'm doing anymore unless I ask them for corrections. Everyone assumes I don't know how to do anything...whenever I'm helping with moving equipment, the girls on the team talk to me as if I don't know what I'm doing, they'll say that I'm not trying hard enough and if I walk away from the mat I'm moving for one second, they'll be like, "Um, can you please help us? We're doing all the work." I actually think I'm one of the most helpful people on the team, and no one else realizes that. The coaches will like thank other people and say you guys were such a big help, without even looking at me. I give suggestions for other people's routines(I know all about high school gymnastics because I've read all the rule books) and even if I have a really good suggestion everyone will ignore me because they think that I don't know anything because I've only been on the team for two years.
Sorry for the long vent, but you have no idea how hard this is on me. I went through two years of this with cheerleading, and last year I really thought I had found a group of girls and coaches who I felt close to. Nobody realizes that if I say "dumb" things sometimes it's because NOBODY ever listened to me when I talked to them in cheer, and I'm just trying to fit in and feel under so much pressure to do so. Nobody cares about how nice I am to everyone, how much I offer to help with mats, etc., that I'm a straight a student and I work so hard in school and I put so much pressure on myself with school and college...and they just assume that I don't know anything and treat me like I'm the youngest on the team. This is my last year on the high school team, probably my last year of gymnastics, and I'm already not enjoying it as much as I hoped I would
I really, really appreciate it if you read this whole thing....I'm in tears just after typing this :'( I can't talk to anyone about it, not even my parents, because my parents were so upset about how the girls on cheerleading treated me, and just seemed so happy with my gymnastics experience from last year, and I do not want to take that happiness away from them and for them to stress out over me.
Again, thank you to anyone who read this all, and I would love some advice