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Excellent plan, but I think even drunk you'll be tons better than me, so obviously you will still have to have a handicap, in fact I think you have to do your routine drunk, blindfold and with one arm tied behind your back.
Does that sound about right ladies?
Thanks - you guys are cracking me up. I'll have to see how daring I'm feeling today after a few more cups of coffee
I called an emergency meeting of my once-around-the-well advisory board to discuss these terms. It consists of my coach, Jose Cuervo, well owner Grey Goose, and my agent Mr. SoCo. I have been instructed to reply that the state of my pre-competitive drunkeness shall be determined by a 'hot or not' test involving head shots of male actors. Once I get to the point where a pic of Steve Buscemi receives a 'hot' response, I am then cleared to compete in compliance with blindfold and arm tied stipulation.
Sorry to write such a lengthy term response! The drunken sports board is so strict! I had to renew my athlete membership by attending 2 birthdays of 21 year olds and 5 bachelorette parties in a leo before the start of the season!
Linsul thgat sounds perfect, now who is going to be sober enough to hold the video camera at your house?
Oh one more thing everyone; you have to wear a leo. Bwahahahaha. Can't wait to see the first videos, remember pulling your leo out of your butt is an automatic deduction. I wonder if you can buy full body spanx, and if that'd be a deduction under the new code.
OH MY GOODNESS!!! I just stumbled upon this here at work (slow day, all the 5th graders are on a field trip that I didn't have to go on - yeah!!!! and I am just dying laughing!!!!!
O.K. I don't have it on tape, BUT last spring, another mom and I went into the gym to try some "easy" stuff... I mean, c'mon, how hard can it be to do just ONE toe up while you're hanging on a bar?!?!? And I walked in there oh so confident, because, after all, I go to MY gym every day, right?! Well. . .
I COULD NOT LIFT MY TOES 1 INCH OFF THE GROUND!!! My friend and I tried for about 10 minutes and then just gave up. These girls make it look so darn easy!!! And the worst part???? My stomach hurt for 2 days after that (and remember, I never got my feet off the ground!)
So... count me in on the alcoholic libations, but not for any competition!
-Lynn
LOL! I missed this post, but I feel your pain. I went to do a pullover (A SIMPLE PULLOVER THAT IVE DONE 974487865256 TIMES IN MY LIFE!!) a few months after I had my daughter. Couldn't do it! It took about a year to be able to do anything again that wasn't trampoline related lol!
So, I guess my memory as far post child gymnastics was not working. My friend came over, ready to film my submission to the chalkbucket invitational. When I told her what it was she laughed at me and told me to write my will lol! Our husbands took our daughters to get ice cream and to a outdoor concert at a park, and the babies were asleep. Time for shenanigans!
The plan was this: to do a one handed blindfolded cartwheel. I got a scarf that could do the job. I went upstairs to practice, and all was well. We decided to drink 1 beer, see how loopy it made me, and go from there. I don't drink unless I'm celebrating usually, and I had drank once since having my son 4 months ago, so I was being cautious. 2 beers later, still could do it. 3 beers later it was like the two beers from before suddenly decided 3 was enough to rise up against me!!!! I went from reasonably controlled and coordinated, to a mess rofl!
So we decided to color hearts all over Steve Buscemi because he's hot, and I tried on my leo. Once again, what was I thinking?!?!?! I couldn't get it OVER MY HIPS! I forced it, ripped it, got the straps up, and man they dug in. Everything I love about post baby body is the enemy of spandex. It was funny enough that I would have worn it anyway, but my friend pointed out that any more rippage would create an overshare situation that was probably not competition standard. I gleefully threw away the offending garment and found something else.
Enter husbands with the kids, about 2 hours early. Apparently there were mosquitoes the size of puppies at the concert, and they had the bites to prove it. It was time to put up or shut up so I grabbed my trusty scarf and got to work. Everytime I put my hands up, the girls would shriek, and being blindfolded I thought they were in my way. So it was hands up, freak out, lift scarf, girls giggling, me sighing, rinse and repeat. They then decided they wanted to cartwheel with me, and jump on my daughters bed, so they started zipping around all over the upstairs. I did get 2 attempts that were only ruined by the long expletive that followed as I stood back up lol.
BUT! I do have a drunken cartwheel for your enjoyment. Getting the hosting thing worked out. Cinderella making an appearance is a highlight lol.