WAG I want to go on vacation!!!

[JessLW]

Definitely let her stay with a teammate or a friend. I don't think that she'll really look back and regret one missed family vacation when she made the decision to persue this dream, you know? Gymnasts know that they're missing out on a lot by choosing this path and if she's reached the age of 14 and is level 10 and still motivated, that's amazing, because lots of kids really start feeling all of the things they miss out on at around that age and start to lose interest. .

I definitely don't think it is fair to the other kids to have them miss out or to your family to have to cancel your vacation for gymnastics, so the simple solution is to take the other kids but let your gymmie stay home. Especially since it sounds like she won't enjoy the trip as much anyhow since she'll likely be sulking about missing practice and possibly dragging your mood down too.

 

[vagymmomma]

I guess I'll just never understand how 7 days can be so bad... I just feel like if we're looking back, in some 20-30 years at all the fun memories, well, you know? And even when we come back she might wish she would have gone.

You're in a tough position. If you ultimately make it your DD's choice, it would probably be best since she's the one who really seemes to have the most direct impact (at the extreme -- she misses practice and may compromise her dream season or she's misses the vacation of a lifetime). Beyond what all the coaches have said here, she really could put a downer on the trip for everyone at her age.

We're actually in a similar position, but at a much less vulnerable level (based on this thread - thank you very much). We are leaving for a cruise next weekend and DD will miss 3 practices. She's a 12 year level 7. Her coaches aren't very happy with us, but seem resigned. Our bigger problem is my DS missing 4 days of HS classes -- the school is telling us to leave him behind. We're not going to. Unlike your position, we have computer access and feel we can cover much of the material he'll miss in class (DD attends online school so we plan to continue her studies on vacation already). Why plan a vacation during school and pre-season you may ask - DH simply got messed up on the dates and the change penalty is enormous.

There's no perfect answer -- I just hope you can actually enjoy YOUR vacation even if your DD decides to stay behind. If you're miserable, the entire family will be as well. Any chance you're headed to the Western Caribbean next weekend?

 

[ALgymMom]

I took my daughter out of gym last Sept. for an entire week to go to Disney. She was a level 9 then & I assure you she lost no skills.
Family memories > gymnastics, IMO!

 

[kecks]

idk, but you are comparing a one week vacation to a whole life of training to get to level 10. why not letting her stay with a teammate? btw, a vacation with a miserable 14 year old is hell for everybody who's there!

 

[wallinbl]

I guess I'll just never understand how 7 days can be so bad... I just feel like if we're looking back, in some 20-30 years at all the fun memories, well, you know? And even when we come back she might wish she would have gone.

You could be looking back at that year you made a vacation decision your daughter has resented for the last 20-30 years.

 

[Flossyduck]

I don't have a gymmie at that level, but I do have a gymmie (who would absolutely not be allowed by the club to go on holiday now, that is set out in writing) and I have two teenagers and a younger one, who at times resent the time her gymnastics takes up, so I can empathise with your dilemna.

The question I have is - is this a once in a lifetime, one off vacation or is this the type of holiday your kids might expect you to take every couple of years?

If it's the second, then I am sure that your daughter would prefer to stay and concentrate on her gym and if she manages to achieve what her age and level suggest she might, then it will probably be all come out in the wash before long.

If it's the first and you are planning this once in a life time trip just at a time it's going to impact on her, then I don't know... I can only compare it to us planning a major trip now, just as my son is entering his final year at school. He would definitely wonder why on earth I would do that so that he either has to miss school at a sensitive time, or miss the trip.

You have well qualified advice on the impact on her gymnastics and you will know best the impact on your family of going without her. For what it's worth, I couldn't leave my son behind, but wouldn't want to make him go, so I'd go when his exams were done. Really tough decision either way... good luck.

BTW I am not trying to compare gymnastics with school in terms of importance, but it sounds as though the impact of going away might have a similar effect on the respective outcome for each in its own right and might be viewed similarly by the offspring involved!

 

[hawaii_gymnast]

Let her know that you and the family are going but its her choice whether she comes or not, she can come or stay with a teammate, friend, grandparent (whichever) well you are gone. Let her know that it is completely her decision to make but the rest of you are going no matter what she decides. She probably sees the next week and next few months crucial to being able to do well or even qualify to regionals and nationals. If she makes it to nationals would she not get a little mini vacation anyways? As a gymnast and a teenager, if I was forced to go I would probably be miserable the whole time and spend alot of the rest of my life thinking what if I didn't go on vacation and went to practice then where would I have ended up? If she has had mental blocks, just got a new skill or is close to getting a new skill a week is a long time, you would be surprised how many details and errors get fixed it a week, just because you can't see them doesn't mean that the coaches, gymnast and the judges won't.

 

[MeetDirector]

I can say with certainty that the sport of gymnastics is all about muscle memory. Level 10 gymnastics probably magnifies that statement 10 fold. The skills they do at this level are so fast and require such automatic reflexes that 7-10 days without training would most likely be like starting all over. I am sure that is what she is afraid of; my dd would be. I must say too that there is no way in the world that I would want to take a teenager on a trip like this after forcing her to give up her passion; that would be absolute misery for the entire family. Tough decision and yes it sucks to always have to plan around gymnastics; but, truely this is the nature of the sport at these high levels.

Good luck and I am glad I am not in your shoes.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

I guess I'll just never understand how 7 days can be so bad... I just feel like if we're looking back, in some 20-30 years at all the fun memories, well, you know? And even when we come back she might wish she would have gone.

pre-season is a very important time in the micro cycle of the athlete for physical preparation. their bodies undergo changes during this time, peaking then tapering if you will, in a cycle that prepares their bodies (and of course their minds) to prepare for competition. this is why many gyms don't begin their season until January and later.

and you're right in regard to the other 2 statements. gymnastics sucks in this regard. it is what it is and it is level 10. remember, for the coaches also. and being her 1st year/time/competition at 10 will overshadow any doubts or regret. maybe next year when she is in a stronger position and confident will find her choosing to go somewhere for an extended period of time. but for now, her anxiety dictates what you might have to do. and again i can tell you that i have no regrets. my wife has no regrets. and our former athletes keep coming back to visit to tell us that they have no regrets. many of them who currently have their children in our competitive program. these are the choices and priorities that must be made at this level.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

You could be looking back at that year you made a vacation decision your daughter has resented for the last 20-30 years.

this is true and i can tell you from experience that this could be the case.

 

[gymmomtotwo]

I'd take the trip without her as long as she has someone she has someone willing to keep her. I guess I would advise thinking back to the thousands of dollars you must have spent getting this kid to Level 10 gymnastics, the potential money saved by college scholarships, and planning your next vacation for when she can go even if it costs more. I can't imagine the amount of hours and dollars you've spent getting her this far, the hours she has spent, and the potential fallout of being gone for so long. I'm surprised her gym would allow her to do it and still plan to compete.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

to clarify, in our program this child would be allowed [for lack of a better word that is not as strong seeing that us coaches are not the parents] to go on the vacation but not compete in that 1st meet. usually, experienced parents who have been educated by the coaching staff would have vetted this idea with the coaching staff months ago. as i posted previously, i suppose that maybe this gym could have done a better job of educating these parents as to the problems and issues of going on an extended vacation at this time of year and so close to a December competition for a 1st year level 10. just sayin...

 

[Mom2twingymnasts]

Don't make your daughter choose. She has to miss so much already for this sport. Take a real family vacation with your whole family at a time when everyone can attend without stressing. If you go without her you will be miserable. If she goes, she will be miserable. It is just not worth the savings to do a vacation at this time of year.

 

[MeetDirector]

Don't make your daughter choose. She has to miss so much already for this sport. Take a real family vacation with your whole family at a time when everyone can attend without stressing. If you go without her you will be miserable. If she goes, she will be miserable. It is just not worth the savings to do a vacation at this time of year.

I couldn't agree more with this recommendation ^^^^

 

[coachmolly]

Have you talked with her coaches? They might be able to offer some more specific insight regarding your DD since they know how her training is going and what she needs to be ready for the season. If they think it's a bad idea, you can move from there. If they think she can manage the time off, they will give her some peace of mind so she can enjoy the vacation.
Gymnastics is rough to plan around, and it does stink for family members, but the impact on your DD can be huge. I remember missing a week in the summer after a HUGE leap in skills and my coaches were very disappointed. I did some conditioning while away, but I lost significant ground when I got back and I was at a much lower level than your DD and about 3 months out from meet season.
Could you be on the lookout for a fun vacation to go on in May or June once the season is over? You can get some great deals if you keep an eye out for them. Sometimes you can even get amazing last minute deals in the summer months if a cruise hasn't booked completely.

 

[Granny Smith]

I would have her stay home with someone else... ONLY because that is what she wants. My dd is competing 10 this yr as well, she did 2 yrs of 9, so I understand high level gymnastics. I usually try to vacation when the gym closes, but it is not always possible. Here's the thing. It's just a week. Why is it if the gym closes for a week, the team girls lose nothing, but when a team girl, in a high level, misses a week, it's like losing a month! You know your child best. Some kids bounce back quickly from a week off, others simply do not. At this point in your dd's career, you should know where she falls. The problem is that it is your dd that does not want to go, she won't be home missing you because it is her choice to be there.

We have 3 level 10s that will be missing a week in November, because in NJ they have teacher's convention for the public schools and tons NJ people travel then. We will have an in-house meet the night before Thanksgiving and then the week between Christmas and NYE and 1st real comp will be in Jan.

These girls all are capable of doing it. I'm sorry, I disagree with everyone else on here, but the difference is that these girls all are willing participants in the vacation.

I think part of the problem is that your dd is not confident that the week won't kill her and her mind set is "I must stay." Let her, she will not have fun, she'll be worrying the whole time and if "full" teenager kicks in, she could potentially ruin everyone's time!

Lastly, I'll say that my dd just missed 13 days of training and her 1st week (day after Labor Day) back was a little sluggish, but here we are 2 weeks later and she is ready to head off to High Performers Camp for her Region. Which honestly to me is far more important (at her stage of the game L10, Jr HS student with about 15 colleges present at the camp) than a meet that would be 6 weeks later. Again, you do need to listen to your child and if she is pressing to stay, it is different. If she was gung-ho vacation, she'd probably be fine with the missed time.

 

[wallinbl]

Why is it if the gym closes for a week, the team girls lose nothing, but when a team girl, in a high level, misses a week, it's like losing a month!

Presumably, the gym is paying attention to their training periodization and closing at an appropriate time.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

I would have her stay home with someone else... ONLY because that is what she wants. My dd is competing 10 this yr as well, she did 2 yrs of 9, so I understand high level gymnastics. I usually try to vacation when the gym closes, but it is not always possible. Here's the thing. It's just a week. Why is it if the gym closes for a week, the team girls lose nothing, but when a team girl, in a high level, misses a week, it's like losing a month! You know your child best. Some kids bounce back quickly from a week off, others simply do not. At this point in your dd's career, you should know where she falls. The problem is that it is your dd that does not want to go, she won't be home missing you because it is her choice to be there.

We have 3 level 10s that will be missing a week in November, because in NJ they have teacher's convention for the public schools and tons NJ people travel then. We will have an in-house meet the night before Thanksgiving and then the week between Christmas and NYE and 1st real comp will be in Jan.

These girls all are capable of doing it. I'm sorry, I disagree with everyone else on here, but the difference is that these girls all are willing participants in the vacation.

I think part of the problem is that your dd is not confident that the week won't kill her and her mind set is "I must stay." Let her, she will not have fun, she'll be worrying the whole time and if "full" teenager kicks in, she could potentially ruin everyone's time!

Lastly, I'll say that my dd just missed 13 days of training and her 1st week (day after Labor Day) back was a little sluggish, but here we are 2 weeks later and she is ready to head off to High Performers Camp for her Region. Which honestly to me is far more important (at her stage of the game L10, Jr HS student with about 15 colleges present at the camp) than a meet that would be 6 weeks later. Again, you do need to listen to your child and if she is pressing to stay, it is different. If she was gung-ho vacation, she'd probably be fine with the missed time.

they do. and all of the high level gyms that i am aware of never close like you have described. i am aware that gyms close a week at the end of summer. 2 weeks at Christmas. etc; but most that i am aware of do not close for team practice.

 

[Lucy's Mom]

My dd's gym doesn't ever close... They sometimes get a day here and there but never for a week or two! They even work out December 24th and 26th. So only one day for Christmas and 1 day for new years and no other real breaks.

She says she would love to go on a cruise, but that she would love to do many things that she can't. She says she can't miss a week because missing that much would mess up her timing and skills. A friend of hers just came back after a week and whipped out twice! She kept blocking and just had an awful day. So this is making dd feel worse.

Ah I'm so torn!

 

[maryRS]

I have not read all the responses but am about halfway through, and it sounds the majority is saying leave her behind, her training is more important. I'm going to depart from this, I disagree. We did this kind of stuff with my older son who plays soccer. Once he turned a certain age, it seemed there was never a good time for him to go on vacation. Due to school and my husband's job we could only go certain times. We would never go during highschool tryouts but sometimes it was impossible to plan. You know when state cups are (timeframe), but you don't know the exact dates until right before they start. You don't know if your child's team is going to make it to a certain level and if they do the whole ball game changes. He also did ODP, and for the most part we knew of camps etc. ahead of time, but with the conflict of his club team and school team, it was virtually impossible to find a good time. So we did leave him behind a few times, and you know, I hated it. It just didn't feel right that my teenager was not with us. I also hated that I was letting a sport (and teenager) dictate our family life.

All this being said, my son played varsity through highschool, played club soccer at a very high level and is a DivI scholarship athlete. I have another son who is probably on the same path, though who knows right? We have decided we are doing things differently. Of course we would never have him miss a regional championship game but this past summer he did miss his team's "mandatory" training days - not all of them, but some. Our trip was planned, and basically we realized while these were mandatory, he is 14, life will go on. If his team becomes unhappy with something like this, well he will find another time. Realistically it's probably not going to happen. Kids do miss, with our oldest we were strict about it and followed all the rules. I'm not saying you should break the rules, but ya know, he missed out on a few really nice vacations and I still get sad when I see the pictures. And honestly, looking back, I don't think it would have made a difference, I think he would still be where he is today. Perhaps he would not have started a few games during that time because coaches would have been ticked, but he could have ran and worked out on vacation and maintained his fitness.

I know soccer is different than gymnastics, but I still say one week will not make a difference long term. It could make a difference short term, but that is ok, but that is just my opinion.

Oh and I know how difficult unhappy teens can be, but they have to learn that they can't run the house.