Parents It is time to switch gyms....

[LinnieC]

I have seen coaches at our gym with their cell phones out. Just yesterday I noticed one of the 'top' coaches at our gym checking his email/messages/whathaveyou while his group was stretching/conditioning. Drives me crazy... tuition is too expensive to not get the coach's full attention!

 

[kaloss]

I have seen coaches at our gym with their cell phones out. Just yesterday I noticed one of the 'top' coaches at our gym checking his email/messages/whathaveyou while his group was stretching/conditioning. Drives me crazy... tuition is too expensive to not get the coach's full attention!

I've noticed the same thing. Facebook updates during practice are completely unacceptable!!

 

[SignHere]

Update on our gym search. I talked to DDs head coach, told him I was going to look at another gym bc she wasn't happy.

He said, " just don't go to Gym Y" (closest gym), they are terrible people.

Well, the next day I called HC of Gym Y, and she told me that she wouldn't be able to even have DD try out ( lame excuses, she had already ordered comp Leo's for the season, etc). I contacted current HC bc Dd was gym less and asked if things could be worked out. He said "No , you aren't welcome here any more".

So, it has been stressful. We are looking at a much longer commute than I anticipated.

It looks like in the case, honesty was NOT the best policy.

 

[EllibugGymmie]

I'm sorry it's not how you thought it would turn out. Hopefully you can find a gym, that you both can be happy at!

 

[gymbeam]

Eeek. I'm so sorry. I hope it all works out well for you guys!

 

[lovemygymnast]

Oh no! I hate to hear that! I hope you find a great gym not terribly far away. Hope it works out for her!

 

[ErinEclectic]

I would hate being gym less and so would DD! Hopefully you can find a gym that fits for your DD and your family that respects her and you!

 

[cbifoja]

I am SO sorry this happened. I think this is another cautionary tale about letting a gym know you're looking before you've made the final decision. When you don't have a lot of options in the area, sometimes what you have is as good as it's going to get. That's why I can't get on board with the "be totally up front" policy that a couple people have espoused on CB.

Did the coach give any indication the first time you talked to him that your daughter would be banned for looking somewhere else? It seems to have come from left field.

 

[bookworm]

I am SO sorry this happened. I think this is another cautionary tale about letting a gym know you're looking before you've made the final decision. When you don't have a lot of options in the area, sometimes what you have is as good as it's going to get. That's why I can't get on board with the "be totally up front" policy that a couple people have espoused on CB.

Did the coach give any indication the first time you talked to him that your daughter would be banned for looking somewhere else? It seems to have come from left field.

My thoughts exactly....you never show your hand until it's a done deal...and before anyone comes off saying things about "never making their kids lie etc' , rubbish....you can do your research and just not say anything....the fact that the OP was "honest and upfront" got her zilch, and now her kid is still unhappy, and gymless...

 

[Canadian_gym_mom]

My thoughts exactly....you never show your hand until it's a done deal...and before anyone comes off saying things about "never making their kids lie etc' , rubbish....you can do your research and just not say anything....the fact that the OP was "honest and upfront" got her zilch, and now her kid is still unhappy, and gymless...

Around here you can't speak to or enter another gym without your current gym knowing about it. I learned this when someone was thinking of a move and tried out at a new gym. She came back and told the current gym that they had been at the cottage. The Head Coach was just like, "No you weren't, you were at XYZ Gym." She was floored. She was also told to leave immediately.

I guess it's a courtesy call to ensure that the gyms aren't actively recruiting, and also to ask about the gymnast and the family.

 

[gracyomalley]

So sorry you are going through this - it really shouldn't be this way - these are kids and the whole "banned from the gym" thing is ridiculously dramatic, if you ask me! (Although, a favorite coach from DD old gym who recently gave 2 week notice to her old HC - because he is moving out of state to a job in an entirely different industry - was likewise "banned" that moment...).

All I can say is that it sounds like moving gyms IS still the right thing (why would you want your child to be taught by someone with so little respect for their well-being that they wouldn't allow a parent to research other options). Probably the close gym never would have worked, you're just finding out the hard way.

I hope you find a good program for her within a reasonable driving distance. I keep reminding myself that whether DD is happy at her new gym or not (and she's getting close to as happy as she was last year at old), I know the training is better, and more importantly the HC is upfront, honest, doesn't play emotional games, treats her employees respectfully and expects parents to "make the best decision for their child" when considering her gym....and the previous HC was not those things - so its a better place for her emotionally. Hopefully you'll find something similar. I still think a confident coach with a well run program will let the program speak for itself, and no "banning" would be necessary (of course, non-payment, dishonesty on parents part, etc would be different issues...)

 

[Ali'sMom]

I don't have a whole lot of input as far as gyms go, but I'm more about "what's meant to be"... and I'm thinking that temporarily gymless is still better than being in the gym you were unhappy with, especially by the way you were treated when you asked about coming back. I mean, they could have asked "Did your daughter change her mind?" or even made you squirm a little with "See, the grass isn't always greener" type of thing, but to tell you that you're not welcome, I just don't get it.
And, heaven knows, I don't know that my gym wouldn't be the same, but I'd like to live in my rose colored world and believe they wouldn't do that...

I wish you the most of luck finding the right place for your daughter!!!

 

[SignHere]

Thanks for the positive thoughts everyone. It really has been hard. Especially since I never would have expected the reaction I got from the HC. I was accused of all sorts of things, including disloyalty. In addition, I am being shunned by my so-called "friends" who are still at the gym.

But better to find out sooner than when you really need someone, right?

 

[Jenny]

Thanks for the positive thoughts everyone. It really has been hard. Especially since I never would have expected the reaction I got from the HC. I was accused of all sorts of things, including disloyalty. In addition, I am being shunned by my so-called "friends" who are still at the gym.

But better to find out sooner than when you really need someone, right?

Do you think current HC could have bad mouthed you to other gym and that is why they won't take you? I would just drive over and speak to them again. Get hubby to come and dd if possible.

 

[lovemygymnast]

Well, the "friends" are probably shunning you because of what they've heard from HC? But yes, now you know they aren't real friends. It really is a shame that things can't be cordial in the future. And the sad thing is, you'll see each other at meets! Certainly makes it awkward when people show their ugly side! I wish HC could have handled it differently. I do wonder if he called the other gym and bad mouthed you too. If that's the case, you could go talk to them to let them know what happened, but it's still your word against his. Hope you find a good gym soon. We have 2 good gyms nearby and it's the same here, can't leave one to go to the other and expect to come back.

 

[Natasha]

Something about all of this doesn't seem to add up. Your initial post said that you wanted to change gyms but dd wasn't on board. Then you said you told coach you were looking at other gyms because she wasn't happy, when it seems that it was you that hasn't been happy. You said that your dd's reaction was "Like you are going to Disney World" yet you had no plan yet for a new gym? I can't imagine that she wouldn't be concerned about where she is going to go or at least about being able to train. So has she not been training anywhere for the past 10 days? In another thread you said she is competing L7 this year, but in this one you said she is an L8, training L9. Is your other daughter still competing?

 

[SignHere]

Oh, gymtigermom, you are a super sleuth. I was concerned about "outing" myself, so I changed some information.

Also, I left out some details for the sake of brevity.

Thanks for your concern about my other daughter. She had to quit gymnastics completely after a very serious injury. It was extremely tough for her.

 

[cprp]

I'm so sorry this happened. Just awful. But as gymtigermom has said, I'm confused too. Please keep us updated!

 

[flippin out]

Oh, gymtigermom, you are a super sleuth. I was concerned about "outing" myself, so I changed some information.

Also, I left out some details for the sake of brevity.

Thanks for your concern about my other daughter. She had to quit gymnastics completely after a very serious injury. It was extremely tough for her.

I missed something, I did not know you had an older dd quit due to injury. I hope that she is ok, how serious are you talking?

How is the gym sit for younger dd going?

 

[flippin out]

Do you think current HC could have bad mouthed you to other gym and that is why they won't take you? I would just drive over and speak to them again. Get hubby to come and dd if possible.

Yes, it is highly likely that the old gym called ahead to the potential gym and bad mouthed you. Even when things appear to be amicable I've seen old gyms bad mouth (usually the parents). They "warn" the new or potential gym that parent is a control freak, mommager, etc. sometimes going as far as talking trash about the kid...X is difficult to coach, she doesn't take corrections. While that is true for some, maybe the fault for not taking correction lies in how the correction is given or if it was a helpful correction (just saying).

Seen this too many times about people i know, parents who thought they had a great relationship with their old gyms ---my favorite is when they do that and then when they see the parent at meets they are all hugs and well wishes...like they never bad mouthed them. -----If given a chance those type of gym owners would definitely call a potential gym before you go over just to sabotage a switch.

I often wonder just what old gym says about us....but then think, I don't give a crap bc it means nothing. My kid is happy and progressing so either they had nothing bad to say, or no one believes the lies. I would hope it's the Nothing bad to say though,