Parents Just Made Team, Any Advice or Tips?

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I'm thinking back to when I was at your stage a good few years ago. DD was offered a space on the team and we naively went for it. We had no idea what to expect. We just took one stage at a time and followed the path life took us. The journey has been more ups than downs thankfully and now one gym-change later, 2 more daughters in the sport and many injuries and tears, I still look back and appreciate how much gymnastics has done for my daughters not only physically but mentally. It matured them and prepared them for responsibility in a way no school can. Which child at 8 years old knows how to set goals and focus on progress?
Anyways those are my thoughts. Take the journey one stage at a time, you never know where it will lead to. Keep plenty of pictures and videos of those meets, leos and team-mates for her to look back at. Good luck!!!
 
Those are the emotions and things that you feel as a parent as you go through this journey. Your dd will more than likely have a completely different perspective, but prepare yourself. I was not prepared for the rollercoaster of emotions that I was going to experience. We were all once starry-eyed, optimistic parents. I remember the feeling
I can second this. Wish I had known the intensity and exhaustion this sport can produce for everyone. Gymnastics is unlike other sports - they learn one thing, which leads to the next harder thing, to the next and the next for YEARS with each progression harder than the last, both physically and emotionally.

There will be fear, mental blocks then growth spurts that cause havoc to skills. There will be many highs but be prepared for the many lows, some that last months. Their bodies get exhausted and injured, keep and eye out for a good massage therapist then keep them on speed dial. The time commitment will increase and you need to work hard to keep the balance so there is a life besides the gym. Teach your daughter that it is Ok to be imperfect. Stay out of the gym let that be your child’s place not yours. prepared to have life rotate around meet schedules and summer practices, if you work it is honestly even harder. Gymnastics is year round there is no break.

We are 11 years on this journey and yes I can say there are more days than not that I wish we had walked away when asked to team. GYMOM is not being negative, in fact she is being honest and has an extremely talented child at the top of the sport. It is not a bad experience, it is gymnastics. You asked for advice and these are just some of the things no one tells you but they are very real So just be prepared.

Good luck on your journey, we were all there once and it was exciting so enjoy it.
 
A number of years ago I asked parents here if they knew then what they know now would they still have their child do competitive gymnastics, and it was interesting how many said no- including a good number whose kids had a lot of success in the sport. Gymnastics is an amazing sport, but it is a lot and it’s good to have a realistic picture from the start.
 
Just an different perspective. My dd was in competitive gymnastics for 10+ years, a multi-year level 10 and now competes at a D3 school. Yes, it's a roller coaster ride including what we thought would be a career ending injury (more due to mental aspect than the physical, though the recovery was looong), the struggles in finding a college program where she felt comfortable and would be competitive, those nights when nothing went right at practice, but our family doesn't regret traveling the path and we do not feel like we would chose differently if we had known everything way back when. We had three children in 3 different year-round sports for all of their childhood/teen years. We made it work with the help of friends and family. Now, we had mostly great coaches for all of the sports, supportive network and flexible work schedules, all of which makes all the difference in our experience

you are at the very beginning of your adventure. As I said in my initial post, you don't know whether your d will be in this sport just a few months or many many years. Take one year at a time.
 
One thing I would add to the above is: don’t define her, at least not solely, as a gymnast - rather, she does gymnastics. We are still happily seven years into this sport but I imagine it is far easier to transition out when the time inevitably comes if gym is something you do rather than who you are. I’ve read here about too many who struggle after quitting or struggle with their self-worth when gym isn’t going well, because they don’t know who they are outside of gymnastics.

There can be a lot of joy in this journey if you are wise and the stars align (sometimes they don’t even for those who are wise.) I hope your daughter’s is wonderful!
 
My honest advice is to say no. If I could go back and do it over, I would have turned down the invitation to the team track at age 5. I am not kidding.
To put that out there with no explanation…………

Is really cryptic and a bit attention seeking.
If you weren’t going to explain why bother to post.
 
Lots of great advice! My biggest suggestion is to never miss out on life experiences because of gymnastics. She skips gym for every party, school event, vacation, needed rest days etc. and hasn’t missed a beat in gym. In fact, she missed 2 weeks right at the end of meet season and it was the BEST thing ever for her to have a break… ended up winning state.
After our first year on team, she was on track to skip a level but we decided to go overseas for the summer instead. Best decision ever… and we will have no regrets no matter what happens with gym. She’s training 5/6 now and she will still snow ski every weekend she doesn’t have a meet and maybe even do a low-key basketball team. My point is that while I’m willing to pay for gym and her passion, I know it won’t be her passion forever and so I’m not putting life on hold. Keep your kid well-rounded and interested in lots of different activities and life experiences.
And our gym moms are the best! I’ve loved making new friends through the sport. The first year was the best! It’s just so hard when their child decides to leave or goes to a different level/group. I miss the moms as much as my dad misses the kid!
 
Lots of great advice! My biggest suggestion is to never miss out on life experiences because of gymnastics. She skips gym for every party, school event, vacation, needed rest days etc. and hasn’t missed a beat in gym. In fact, she missed 2 weeks right at the end of meet season and it was the BEST thing ever for her to have a break… ended up winning state.
After our first year on team, she was on track to skip a level but we decided to go overseas for the summer instead. Best decision ever… and we will have no regrets no matter what happens with gym. She’s training 5/6 now and she will still snow ski every weekend she doesn’t have a meet and maybe even do a low-key basketball team. My point is that while I’m willing to pay for gym and her passion, I know it won’t be her passion forever and so I’m not putting life on hold. Keep your kid well-rounded and interested in lots of different activities and life experiences.
And our gym moms are the best! I’ve loved making new friends through the sport. The first year was the best! It’s just so hard when their child decides to leave or goes to a different level/group. I miss the moms as much as my dad misses the kid!
Oops… “as much as my dd misses the kids”- that’s what I meant to write before autocorrect.
 
My honest advice is to say no. If I could go back and do it over, I would have turned down the invitation to the team track at age 5. I am not kidding.
I concur.

I’ve actually had this conversation in person with two people whose children where around 4/5 and they were considering team track. One of them was my DDs occupational therapist, so she was seeing the physical impact in front of her.

If I could go back in time, I would have forced her to stick out more sports in the hope of finding something less… overall damaging. I declined her team invite at 5 and took her to pre team at another gym because I didn’t think a 5 year old should have the pressure of needing to be perfect.

And it is always about chasing a perfection that doesn’t exist. Anything your kid does well, they could be doing it better. If they do it REALLY well, time to add on the next building block. There is just a constant pressure to keep doing bigger and bigger things.

Yes, most high level competitive sports take up a ton of time and a ton of money, but not many sports have 7 year olds doing more hours than a part time job.

I’m always at the gym with my daughter, I work the front desk there during the hours she’s there most days a week - we live too far away for me to leave and she has a medical condition where if she got hurt, I really need to be there immediately. We literally never see my husband. If we had other kids, this wouldn’t be doable at all.

I keep a list of orthopedists that treat different body parts and understand gymnastics handy, because we need to see them all the damn time. Her 11 year old friend has 3 back fractures (in level 4 so she was not high level) and has spent the last 16 months in a back brace. She’s just been cleared to start handstands and slowly bending over to reach her toes.

But… my daughter loves it. She’s a perfectionist and likes rules and order, so this gives her everything she wants. She likes to take risks and she’s rewarded by getting to do bigger skills. She’s happy to spend hours and hours in the gym and wishes I would just home school her so she could be there even more. She’s never loved anything more and her excitement yesterday about doing multiple giants into dismount by herself melted my bad day away. She loves her coaches and this gym is her safe space.

I could never take it away now - but I wish I had tried even harder to find her something else she loves when I had the chance.
 
My experience has not been bad at all. I was just trying to explain how hindsight is 20/20 in this sport. Those are the emotions and things that you feel as a parent as you go through this journey. Your dd will more than likely have a completely different perspective, but prepare yourself. I was not prepared for the rollercoaster of emotions that I was going to experience. We were all once starry-eyed, optimistic parents. I remember the feeling so I apologize. I did not mean to rain on your parade. Congrats to your kiddo.
First, Your posts feel very patronizing.
Secondly, Your first post mentioned nothing but extremely negative things about being involved in competitive gymnastics and now you are saying that your experience wasn't bad at all... "gut wrenching", "exhausting" and "being over it but continuing anyway" sounds like a terrible experience. I am so confused. I don't even know how to take the congratulations. Why congratulate someone when they are getting into something so terrible?
 
I concur.

I’ve actually had this conversation in person with two people whose children where around 4/5 and they were considering team track. One of them was my DDs occupational therapist, so she was seeing the physical impact in front of her.

If I could go back in time, I would have forced her to stick out more sports in the hope of finding something less… overall damaging. I declined her team invite at 5 and took her to pre team at another gym because I didn’t think a 5 year old should have the pressure of needing to be perfect.

And it is always about chasing a perfection that doesn’t exist. Anything your kid does well, they could be doing it better. If they do it REALLY well, time to add on the next building block. There is just a constant pressure to keep doing bigger and bigger things.

Yes, most high level competitive sports take up a ton of time and a ton of money, but not many sports have 7 year olds doing more hours than a part time job.

I’m always at the gym with my daughter, I work the front desk there during the hours she’s there most days a week - we live too far away for me to leave and she has a medical condition where if she got hurt, I really need to be there immediately. We literally never see my husband. If we had other kids, this wouldn’t be doable at all.

I keep a list of orthopedists that treat different body parts and understand gymnastics handy, because we need to see them all the damn time. Her 11 year old friend has 3 back fractures (in level 4 so she was not high level) and has spent the last 16 months in a back brace. She’s just been cleared to start handstands and slowly bending over to reach her toes.

But… my daughter loves it. She’s a perfectionist and likes rules and order, so this gives her everything she wants. She likes to take risks and she’s rewarded by getting to do bigger skills. She’s happy to spend hours and hours in the gym and wishes I would just home school her so she could be there even more. She’s never loved anything more and her excitement yesterday about doing multiple giants into dismount by herself melted my bad day away. She loves her coaches and this gym is her safe space.

I could never take it away now - but I wish I had tried even harder to find her something else she loves when I had the chance.
First, my daughter is 7.5, will turn 8 a few days after her first competition, she is not 4 or 5 like you keep mentioning.

And if all of you people hate it so much then why do you keep doing it?! This absolutely makes no sense to me. You all sound very bitter and it appears you are the only one to blame for that.
 
First, Your posts feel very patronizing.
Secondly, Your first post mentioned nothing but extremely negative things about being involved in competitive gymnastics and now you are saying that your experience wasn't bad at all... "gut wrenching", "exhausting" and "being over it but continuing anyway" sounds like a terrible experience. I am so confused. I don't even know how to take the congratulations. Why congratulate someone when they are getting into something so terrible?

Eeeeeek. GYMOM is the very experienced parent of a very successful gymnast and is one of the most respected voices here. She knows what she is talking about better than anyone.
 
Eeeeeek. GYMOM is the very experienced parent of a very successful gymnast and is one of the most respected voices here. She knows what she is talking about better than anyone.
I understand and respect that, which is why my first reply was more controlled. I am very sorry that she has had such a bad experience. That is not sarcasm or anything else. I hate to hear that she and others have had such a bad time that they would tell others to run from it.

Her second comment came across very patronizing, maybe that is my own self confidence issues but it felt like she was talking down to me so I responded based on how it felt.
 
First, my daughter is 7.5, will turn 8 a few days after her first competition, she is not 4 or 5 like you keep mentioning.

And if all of you people hate it so much then why do you keep doing it?! This absolutely makes no sense to me. You all sound very bitter and it appears you are the only one to blame for that.
I mentioned 4/5 year olds because those were the ages of the people I spoke to’s children, and the age my child was first invited (which I declined because I thought she was too young).

I am bitter about it. Those beginning stages are so adorable and so cute, and mostly safe. The hours increase bit by bit. Now suddenly your elementary school child is here 20 hours a week minimum and you’re just hoping they make it to season without injury, and that out of each meet they come out with no injury.

I’m hoping I get into grad school in our city so we don’t have to move gyms because finding a gym with coaches who treat your child well and care about them as people is so difficult.

Yes, technically this is my fault and I could pull her out, but why would I do that when she loves what she’s doing and is thriving. I can’t do that while she’s happy. But yep. I’m bitter.
 
So, after re-reading over this thread a bit I see something that may be helpful in the future. It seems there are a few people who very much regret allowing their child to get involved in competitive gymnastics. I totally understand that and I would be so open to hearing your experiences. Just saying "no" with no explanation isn't helpful at all. Talking down or patronizing people new to the sport isn't helpful at all. Explaining the things that you regret is very helpful and gives me a lot to think about. I truly appreciate the people that took the time to explain their experiences, good and bad!
 
I don't think that anyone is trying to be patronizing. You asked for advice or tips and you are getting the unvarnished truth. Competitive gymnastics is not necessarily a terrible thing but there are a lot of things I didn't know about the sport when my oldest daughter got invited to the team. It was just so exciting that my child was good enough to on a team! Little did I know about the time committment, financial committment, emotional and physical imact it would have on my family. My oldest competed until she was a junior in high school when she retired as a multi-year Level 10. Her body just couldn't take it any longer. My younger daughter left the sport at 13. (yes, I had two in the sport at the same time at different gyms.) You have to decide what you are looking for. Some gyms are very structured with strict rules that team families have to follow. Others are more laid back. My oldest wanted elite training so she went to the more structured gym while my youngest just had fun competing. Her gym wasn't as strict. However, gymnastics is a year round sport where the kids are expected to train year round. There's no off season. So, expect to pay for the entire year.

Competition apparel and meet fees are usually extra. There may also be booster fees or fundraisers that you will be expected to participate in. Travel costs will also be extra. Our ability to take vacations was limited to the weeks that the gym allowed. In the beginning, training was usually 6 or so hours a week but as they moved up levels, the amount of training increased which meant less time for other activities. We also had to make arrangements to get them to and from practice which got harder as practice time increased. For my oldest, we got to know her pediatrician and orthropedist really really well. My youngest didn't have any issues so you may or may not run into problems.

Meets will take all day between the time driving to and from the venue, to the warm up time, competition time (your daughter will compete sometimes for literal seconds) to the awards ceremonies. I bought a stadium chair that I carried with me because the seating can be awful! Pack lots of snacks! Cheap hairspray typically works the best to restrain flyaway hairs. Hair glitter (if it's still around) is so not worth it! My daughters always complained about it making their scalps itch and it was hard to shampoo out.

The sport can be emotionally grueling. As others have said, there is no end, once you get a skill there is pressure to make it harder, to improve your lines, or make it bigger. There's no perfect but always the push to make it more perfect. Some kids have no problem with that. My oldest was fine with it but there were times when it got to her. My youngest, though talented, just didn't care. Then there can be the blocks, as we all just saw, it happens to even the most talented and there is nothing you can do about it. (I know I tried and probably made it worse for my daughter).

As I said, my daughters both walked away from the sport. My oldest is now a diver at her university and loves it. My youngest dove in high school but is now done. They both learned to deal with adversity in gymnastics. They both enjoyed the overall experience of the sport but I honestly don't know that they wouldn't have enjoyed another sport as much. Neither regrets competing. I don't regret allowing them to compete but it did take a toll on our family time.

I encourage you to get as much information about the financials, booster club, time commitments, coaching styles and competition expectations as possible so you can make an informed decision. And if you decide that you want to get into this sometimes crazy world, welcome. Take a deep breath and enjoy it. There's nothing like watching your kid nail her routine and beam from ear to ear.
 
With the right child and the right gym, competitive gymnastics can be a positive thing. But if there are any mismatches, it can be a bad experience. It really varies.

My dd is at a gym where she is happy, loves the coaches, and isn't doing excessive hours. She's been in gym (starting with rec mom and me classes) since she was a toddler and team for the past 5 years (starting at age 7). Never had a serious injury or even an injury that made her miss practice (knock on wood). Her body handles it fine. Other girls who she's trained with for the last several years, same coaches, same hours, have had injuries that have taken them out for a while. The good thing is, very few injuries I've seen at her gym are overuse. They usually are freak things that can happen when you're flipping around and on things as gymnasts do.

My dd has learned so many life skills from gymnastics that she applies outside of gym such as perseverance, goal setting (especially long-term goals), grit, and determination. It has been a positive thing in her life. While it is a time commitment for us as parents, the trade off for her has been worth it.

My advice, if your daughter wants it and you're on board, give it a go. You can even tell your dd that you'll give it a try for one year and see how it goes to set the expectation that this may not be a long-term thing. Keep a close eye on her as she goes (as you would with any activity). You know your daughter and you'll know if something is wrong. Don't dismiss it if you get a bad feeling, look into it. But if she's happy, healthy, and gym is fitting in with your family, then it's great. There are also different tracks. If the Developmental Program is too many hours, you can look into switching to Xcel. It's not all or nothing.

Like anything in life, gymnastics can be a positive or a negative experience. It varies and there are a lot of factors that go into the type of experience each child will have. You can't know now how it will be for your child, but you can be proactive in monitoring to see how it is affecting her and you are the parent, so you can make the call if a change needs to be made. My dd knows that if I feel gym is not healthy for her that we may make that decision for her regarding how to proceed or not. We've talked about factors that could be detrimental to her or things I wouldn't be ok with so if something did happen it wouldn't be unexpected. I do the same with my other kids and their sports.

I hope your daughter finds gym to be a positive thing and it takes her as far as she wants it to.
 
I tried to use quotes, but for some reason it didn’t work. I am sure you don’t realize it, OP, but you are telling a mom whose kid is an elite on the national team she is patronizing because she is telling the truth about gymnastics. And others are also telling the truth about gymnastics. No one is patronizing you….it’s an absolutely wonderful, brutal sport and you asked the question. And before you ask, my kid did competitive gym from age 4-11 and tells me all the time that “gymnastics ruined my life,” so….yeah, I’ve been there and done it. Does that mean you shouldn’t allow your child to do it? No, but it means you need to be aware of the intensity, both physical and mental that’s involved.
 
First, Your posts feel very patronizing.
Secondly, Your first post mentioned nothing but extremely negative things about being involved in competitive gymnastics and now you are saying that your experience wasn't bad at all... "gut wrenching", "exhausting" and "being over it but continuing anyway" sounds like a terrible experience. I am so confused. I don't even know how to take the congratulations. Why congratulate someone when they are getting into something so terrible?
Hi! Essentially, I’m congratulating your DD. In the right environment, gymnastics could be an amazing experience for her.
My experience with gymnastics has not been my daughter’s. She’s had the experience that most can only dream to have. Amazing coaches, supportive gymnastics environment, no major injuries, no major mental blocks, 2-time National Team member, representing Team USA internationally, and Junior National Beam Champion. There’s only a few more things she wants to add to her list.
But as her mom, it has not been the sunshine and rainbows that it sounds, but so faaaaaar from terrible. I’m not trying to sound patronizing or even discouraging. And you may not have parental experience that I’ve had, but as a seasoned veteran here and in this sport, I just caution you to prepare for the emotional rollercoaster that this sport could put YOU through. I never knew anguish until I saw MY child disappointed and discouraged to tears. I’ve never felt so helpless in my life. I was not prepared for those feelings.
 

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