WAG Maggie Haney Hearing

[Puff]

I've seen one particular coach use a cycle of praise and ignoring to manipulate athletes. If they displease they are kicked out or sent to the far side of the gym to condition. If the coach is happy it's wonderful, fun, and that is what they strive to do. The exclusion makes the gymnasts more desperate for approval, and the approval when it comes makes everything seem ok again. There's no need for yelling, and the gymnasts and parents actually think coach is nice. Even coaches in the same gym don't figure it out. When they're excluded it's their fault, they did something to cause upset.

We've switched our daughter multiple times. We've seen what you're describing repeatedly, in gyms that you've heard of. A lot of anxiety comes with looking like you're a problem family, but we are simply the family that says no. Our daughter wants to enjoy gymnastics. The sport is hard enough without being yanked up and down like a yoyo dependent upon a coach's praise and mood swings. I am unable to support a coach that does not make my daughter feel good about herself.

 

[GymAir]

I thought watching practice was prohibited, per the MG elite handbook? Even if that’s not correct, I have a hard time believing the parents would be allowed to watch practice all the time like Olivia’s mom says she did.

 

[txgymfan]

I am unable to support a coach that does not make my daughter feel good about herself.

THIS! THIS! THIS! I want every parent to get behind this philosophy.

 

[Flyaway]

I thought watching practice was prohibited, per the MG elite handbook? Even if that’s not correct, I have a hard time believing the parents would be allowed to watch practice all the time like Olivia’s mom says she did.

This brings up my question: has anyone verified that Olivia's mom actually wrote this? I saw it c&p'd to someone else's twitter account, which I understand is gone now. I mean, it seems completely believable, but this is the internet. Someone could have been trolling.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

This brings up my question: has anyone verified that Olivia's mom actually wrote this? I saw it c&p'd to someone else's twitter account, which I understand is gone now. I mean, it seems completely believable, but this is the internet. Someone could have been trolling.

Which is why I hate when folks post screen shots.

 

[Mish]

Long but interesting

 

[coachmolly]

Long but interesting

I think he raises some very good points about ego and tone. I've coached at several different gyms during my time as a coach and when I think about the more toxic coaches I've encountered, they all possessed inflated egos and a coaching style heavy on yelling and overly harsh tone of voice. I once spent some time in a gym where all coaches were very fond of themselves, of the belief that their way was the best way, lacking in self awareness, and capable of turning very benign corrections into bursts of yelling- sometimes not so nice things, but also very reasonable things for a coach to say that came across as totally horrific because they were being screamed at a child. Some kids were totally fine and parents were happy, so obviously that meant any child who spoke up was weak minded and lazy.
I think so much of this stuff is so deeply embedded in the culture of gymnastics with a sense of, "this is how my coaches did it" or "it works" and while there are lots of great coaches out there doing the hard work to better themselves and change the culture of gymnastics, the ones that need it the most are the ones that are so lacking in self awareness they don't see themselves as being part of the problem. Or, feel like their methods are effective and breed results, so why change? It's all very disheartening.

 

[Aussie_coach]

This is an important case because it reflects the larger issues going on and will set a precedence for future cases.

He makes the point that many coaches could be accused of the same, and the outcome of this case may determine if they will be.

Children raised in abusive families are far more likely to continue the abuse with their own children. It takes great strength of character to recognise this and be the one to break the cycle of abuse.

Gymnastics has been very similar. Many coaches have considered that this is the way gymnastics is taught for generations.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Gymnastics has been very similar. Many coaches have considered that this is the way gymnastics is taught for generations.

The sentence I hate the most.....

But this is how we have always done it.

And my favorite from Maya

When you know better, you do better.

 

[Aussie_coach]

Agree, we know there are better ways. But for many gyms and coaches, it’s going to a battle to make sure that is seen.