Managing expectations with a young gymnast

[gymgal]

Maybe I'm wrong but ask around and see how many 6 year olds have stated goals. They have dreams like movie star, olympian, president, fireman, doctor.... but not score goals, placings etc. and she's learning this from someone.

There is a huge chance that the "goals" will kill the fun, as others have stated.

Girls who steer toward competitive gymnastics tend to be very goal oriented by nature. It's in their personality. Not all are like that but a larger percent than non-gymnasts. My dd has always been goal oriented - even before gym started. Yes, little ones have dreams too but there are a lot of 5 and 6 yr old gymnasts who know exactly what they want and can provide details very clearly.

To OP: it sounds like she has the potential to win Vt at states but be careful comparing her scores to girls in other meets to see where she stands. This is a subjective sport. Especially Vt. You will see gold medal scores all over the map. Dd's gym went to 2 meets in Jan. The average Vt score from the 1st to the 2nd meet went down .5. No reason for it on the girls' part. Just different judging.

If she won't budge on her goals, at least down play them and tell her that it is just as important to win/lose graciously. I have seen girls ignore their own teammates b/c the mate was higher on the podium. this particularly happens in the younger ages and it is horrible to watch.



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[LizzieLac]

My 2 cents...

The biggest problem with goals like "state champ" are the emotional outcomes of not achieving them. My DD is VERY goal driven as well - in all apsects of her life, including grades. She can get "upset" if she does not score as well as SHE expects on a test, even though DH and I tell her that if she studied hard and tried her best, there was not much she could do to change the outcome (other than visit the teacher with any last minute questions before the test).

The benefit to goals like "state champ" are how they instill drive, focus, and hard-work...all admirable qualities. As with everything in life, I think it comes down to balance. If the "state champ" goal appears to become overpowering for her (she is only 6), then it is very much time to take a step back and make sure you offer her perspective on life. Because she may get injured and then will not achieve her goal no matter how talented she is.

Lastly, by helping her focus on goals like bette form, sticking a dismount, holding a handtand longer, etc. you ARE helping her achieve the bigger goal.

And, to reiterate what everyone else has said, sometimes the judges don't cooperate with the child's goals! Just has a meet this weekend where the floor judge was TOUGH and excellent routines were "lucky" to get a 9.0. That happens and it is out of everyone's control.

I think encouraging certain goals is very important, at any age.

 

[SamIam]

I have always told mine "if you don't score all 10's there was something you could have done better!"

I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

Exactly as many have said. No wobbles, own your floor routine, smile, cast to handstand, (even 6 years in) don't forget to point your toes!, straight legs, the things that coaches have been teaching since day one. I know for a fact her coach has never said "you should score xx.xx on your routines at this meet."

Judging varies from meet to meet, and it could be very disheartning to a youngster if goals are built around numbers and medals. As someone else said and I agree, those that stick with this sport seem to be somewhat competitive by nature, and are able to set realistic goals on their own. I'm mostly here for encouragement, a checkbook, and a ride to the gym.

 

[2gymmies]

First, I hope your dd does win state, most kids who do gymnastics will never have a shot at the accomplishment. I hope she has fun trying and I hope she can be a good sport no matter what happens!

My little dd, who just turned 7 (Level 4) has two goals for every meet... 1) get certain places at every meet so that she and her good friend can stand beside each other and hold hands when they salute 2) talk mommy or grandma into buying a pin or scrunchie or other souvenir. She has had an awesome year and gotten many awards, many firsts and many high scores, but I don't think she even gets the details of it all.

For your dd, goals or no goals, as long as she has fun and wants to do more gymnastics - you "win"!

 

[cbone]

I just wanted to thank everyone for the great advice. We've been able to shift most of her focus away from scores and placement. The great thing was that two meets ago she put up her worst vault EVER and still won bronze. Unfortunately, though, the low score put her to second AA. I thought she would be crushed about not winning vault (her specialty) or AA. She wasn't. She just vowed to do better and gave her teddy bear a hug (I love when they remind us that they're still little girls). She won the AA at her next meet with personal best scores and performances. It almost seems that when she focuses on corrections rather than scores, she's been improving even more quickly.

She's still super competitive, but the change has been noticeable. It hasn't all gone perfectly, though. Her team has won first every meet, so now she's about winning first in team every time out. I guess old habits die hard. Off to California this weekend- happy travels to those of you hitting the road.