Parents Maturity level and gym

[Kiwimango]

I’ve been lurking for awhile (sorry!) but I have a question about maturity expectations. My daughter is 6, she started gym in August (still 5 at that time). She did rec, then basically the baby preteam and we just switched gyms and she is in level 2. I know there are plenty of young girls at this level. But everyone else in her group is 7, and it seems like they are much more attentive and mature. My daughter meanwhile is jumping on things she shouldn’t, doing cartwheels when they are on bars, etc. She just started with this new group (2.5 hours, twice a week). Has anyone been in a similar situation and it got better? Or should I just pull her out? I don’t want to spend all this time and money if she sees it as playtime. I have spoken with her and she says she is trying and she can’t help it. (If it matters, I was never expecting her to do well at gymnastics, we just signed up as a random activity with a friend)

 

[HopefulGymnast]

I think if she enjoys it, this can be a great opportunity for her to learn and mature over time. I think it's much easier to learn to focus with something you enjoy or value than things you don't enjoy or value.
If she keeps having difficulty, then it may be a chance to try out different strategies for helping focus, or to help figure out why she's having trouble. For example, sometimes kids can lose focus if the skills are too hard and intimidating, or the opposite: they're not being challenged enough.

If you're worried, you can always bring it up with her coaches.

Or should I just pull her out? I don’t want to spend all this time and money if she sees it as playtime

Since she sais she's trying, she clearly doesn't see it as "just playtime". But you do have to ask yourself: what do you want to get out of this for your daughter? Is it not enough if she enjoys herself, and if not, why? Or if it's a fun place for her to develop her physical fitness as well as life skills such as focus, working towards long term goals, social skills, etc. Is that enough? If her enjoyment or development is enough, then you're not wasting your money. But if you're hoping for some other "return on investment" like medals or a scholarship down the line, then the odds aren't good in any sport.

(If it matters, I was never expecting her to do well at gymnastics, we just signed up as a random activity with a friend)

Just a small sidenote: I don't know if you've told your daugher anything about those expectations. Not putting pressure on your child is a good thing. Not putting too high expectations is a good thing. But be careful not to overdo it in the other direction. It's nice for kids to hear their parents believe in them too.

 

[Chamomile]

My daughter started Level 2 at 5. The rest of the team was 7+. She definitely lacked the maturity of the others and sometimes it could be very frustrating to watch. They had a great coach and the older teammates were great role models. My daughter is now 8 and extremely mature and responsible. I really believe gymnastics played a huge role.

Her coaches were tough on her and we knew they had to be otherwise she could get hurt. We also capitalized on many teachable moments like her first meet when she didn’t get any pretty medals. The whole time though she has loved doing it.

Gymnastics has been wonderful for her but the maturity piece definitely took a lot of time. She is in her 4th season and I would say she really got it together half way through her 3rd season.

I definitely agree with @HopefulGymnast that if you are looking for a ‘return on investment’ you will be disappointed. If she enjoys it there are so many benefits to be gained, including attentiveness and maturity.

 

[Kiwimango]

I think if she enjoys it, this can be a great opportunity for her to learn and mature over time. I think it's much easier to learn to focus with something you enjoy or value than things you don't enjoy or value.
If she keeps having difficulty, then it may be a chance to try out different strategies for helping focus, or to help figure out why she's having trouble. For example, sometimes kids can lose focus if the skills are too hard and intimidating, or the opposite: they're not being challenged enough.

If you're worried, you can always bring it up with her coaches.


Since she sais she's trying, she clearly doesn't see it as "just playtime". But you do have to ask yourself: what do you want to get out of this for your daughter? Is it not enough if she enjoys herself, and if not, why? Or if it's a fun place for her to develop her physical fitness as well as life skills such as focus, working towards long term goals, social skills, etc. Is that enough? If her enjoyment or development is enough, then you're not wasting your money. But if you're hoping for some other "return on investment" like medals or a scholarship down the line, then the odds aren't good in any sport.


Just a small sidenote: I don't know if you've told your daugher anything about those expectations. Not putting pressure on your child is a good thing. Not putting too high expectations is a good thing. But be careful not to overdo it in the other direction. It's nice for kids to hear their parents believe in them too.

Thanks for replying! I think it’s not that I think there will be a return on investment, just that if she isn’t capable maturity wise of having longer classes (which, at 6 can be pretty normal) that I didn’t know if it’s a good fit, especially since it’s costly. We do tell her we are proud of her and celebrate her new skills with her, but I’ve always tried to make it clear to her that gymnastics is her choice, and we are just the support crew. So if it’s fun and she likes it, we will take her.

It’s hard though because her coach had to put her essentially in timeout twice for not paying attention. Which I support, she wasn’t being safe! But that was hard to watch

 

[HopefulGymnast]

It’s hard though because her coach had to put her essentially in timeout twice for not paying attention. Which I support, she wasn’t being safe! But that was hard to watch

Sounds like they're aware of the issue and trying to work on it. I'd say for now give it time.

If it keeps happening, she keeps having to get time outs and things don't improve, then it's time to talk to the coaches about different strategies. But for now, patience.

PS.

This isn't relevant to your daughter, as she's still young and trouble paying attention is normal at that age. I just thought it's fun to share my experience.
I was a kid with undiagnosed AD(H)D, and telling me off or giving me time outs definitely would not have worked. I've been told off sooo much in my life for not paying attention, and that never helped. Now that I'm older, I've gotten a lot of tactics for things. I can focus better, but if I miss things I will simply tell somebody and ask them if they can repeat what they said. I know to write certain things down if I need to remember. I go down a little mental checklist before i leave anywhere, like "keys, phone, wallet, ok I'm good". Maybe it's because of this, but I've actually become great at organisation and management, and I've organised entire camps and events since age 16. My gym class is very independent, so my attention isn't tested as much there, but I've recently seen the training of a competetive team to assist in coaching. Some of the instructions were so long, one kid stared at me and was like "I don't remember what to do" and I was thinking "me neither kid, me neither". But we just looked at what the other kids did, and there was always a list on the ground we could consult if needed.

 

[littlegirlsdream]

I don’t think there is one right answer to your question. I was in your position years ago and I can share with you my daughter’s journey. She tried gymnastics for the first time the summer she was 5/6 yo and was put in lvl 2 almost immediately. She had a hard time staying focused, waiting in line, remembering skills. I was concerned about her having to be attentive in kindergarten and then remaining attentive after for practices. I decided to first have her take on the challenge of kindergarten before adding gym too. I did not tell her at the time my reasons but rather focused on all the fun she was going to have getting to go to kindergarten! After kindergarten she kept asking to do gymnastics again so back we went. She had gained some listening skills and a bit more focus but she also had a fantastic first coach that used a lot of positive reinforcement to keep the kids engaged. Today she is a lvl 10 gymnast so I do not think it ultimately hurt her one bit to take a year to gain a little maturity. I can’t say how it would have gone had she not taken that year but I do know it could have potentially been a difficult time for her if she felt she was trying hard to be attentive but just truly could not. Whatever you decide is right for your daughter will work out, trust your gut and know you know her best.