Parents meet update and advice needed. sorry long

[Panda-girl's Mom]

Daughter competed this past weekend, very tough competition. Daughter did well but not as good as last meet. She fell in her fhs pass on floor still got a 7( which was not bad for her). Her AA was 32 even (level 6) still a qualifying score for states which she already qualifyed for at her last meet with 32.9. (So all and all not a bad score for a tough meet compared to how this year is going). Some positives were she did a really nice ROBHSBT which she has struggled with, did not wobble on her full turn on beam and got her highest bar score of the season. They group about 24 gymnasts together ages 9-11 for the scoring so she did not place even though they went out 50%. (her teammate placed 6th in beam no AA placement which she usually does got a score of 33.75 and they went out 12 places! I call that tough since that is is pretty high AA for 6.). Another teammate placed in everything and 1st place AA who is in prep novice. (her group consisted of 3 girls only and they went out 2 places her scores were good 34 all mid 8's but basically no competition in this level). So any way daughter handles not getting anything really well is happy with her performance understands that it was a tough meet, enjoys the rest of the day stays to cheer another teammate on.
Anyway my mother-in-law comes to see her enjoys watching her ( does not understand the scoring but does not make a big deal. Daughter has been struggling with Severs disease(heel pain) I have taken her to the doctor not much you can do but grow out of it. Daughter is insistent on finishing the season and dealing with the pain but it is obvious she is hurting (Mother-in-law sees her limping, other parents and have noticed it, as well as I and I am sure her coaches have noticed). But we were told it was a growing thing,not much of a cure. Daughter wants to finish out season go to States which includes 2 more meets and States in the begining of April. Mother-in-law knows this but turns to me and says this is her last year. Daughter had talked about it being her last year earlier in the season but has since changed her mind and is trying to stick with the sport. I am trying to encourage her, and support her but I feel like my whole family is feeling that she should stop because of the constant injuries.(she also had trouble with her wrists last year). Her father is also bugging her to stop but eventhough I respect his wishes he is not paying for her gymnastics taking her to the meets and if she decides to leave he is not going to be driving her to another activity, so I feel it is her decision and mine whether she continues or not.
I definitely feel the pressure from my family like maybe I should just pull her out. Maybe she is not cut out for the sport and maybe it is not worth all the injuries. At the same time I admire daughters persistence to continue despite of the injuries and when I ask her does she want to stop she tells me no. I also think the gym is a healthy outlet for her she has alot of energy and some of her school friends IMHO seem to be heading for trouble (always on facebook, wanting hang out at the playground and obsessed with boys, they are only 5th grade). Her gym friends are very nice kids and do not have time to get in trouble so I feel the gym is a safe place for her to be. There are other sports I have encouraged her with she did swim this year and volleyball and she is going to try softball this spring, but we know that these other sports do not require the same hours as gymnastics so there is time to get into trouble. Bottom line is she wants to continue and I admire her persistence and want to support her. If in the future if she changes her mind I will support her but I do want to make the choice based on the rest of the families feelings. I understand their feelings but she has told me she does not want to stop, gymnastics has been a big part of her life. I also think they feel that gymnastics is over the top with the costs the far meets and the amount of hours spent in the gym. Has any one else had to deal with this, how do you handle it without making them feel like you are not a good mom by supporting your daughter in a sport she loves despite the large amount of injuries and high expectations. Ecspecailly when your daughter is determined to not let these things stop her.

 

[gymnut1]

Can't think of what to say at the moment but big hugs. I do agree it should be her and your decision. I think she should concentrate on finishing up the season and see what the summer brings. If the severs is still bad perhaps a year in prep opt would give her more flexibility. You probably need to sit down with her gym and see where to go next but if she wants to do gym Im sure there is a way.

Lots and lots of people here are dealing with the same sort of pressure from families, you are definitely not alone in that. I would just encourage her to make it very clear to them how she feels - it has much more weight coming from her.

And HUGs

 

[Monkeygirlsmom]

sorry I have no advice for you but wanted to wish you luck with this choice, it is soo hard being a parent sometimes.

 

[bogwoppit]

Pressure is tough to deal with from family and friends. My oldest struggled with injuries for many years before she decided she couldn't go on. I never pushed her either way, but I also never allowed her to train through pain. So she didn't progress as fast as her peers and she missed a lot of gym and did a lot of conditioning.

Only you can make the right decision for your child, but do remember her dad is in on that too. DO not allow your DD alone to make the choice to stay in gym. Many people do not understand gymnastics, but we also have to be careful not to get caught up in the gym mentality of pushing through no matter what.

I know this is a very tough thing to deal with as severs can go on for years and years. My youngest just stopped gym this week due to Osgoode Schlatters, basically same as severs but in the knee area, she found not being able to train boring and frustrating so she has stopped for now. Will she go back? Who knows, but right now she is happy with her choice.

 

[AlexsGymmyMom]

"Maybe she is not cut out for the sport and maybe it is not worth all the injuries. At the same time I admire daughters persistence to continue despite of the injuries and when I ask her does she want to stop she tells me no. I also think the gym is a healthy outlet for her she has alot of energy and some of her school friends IMHO seem to be heading for trouble (always on facebook, wanting hang out at the playground and obsessed with boys, they are only 5th grade). Her gym friends are very nice kids and do not have time to get in trouble so I feel the gym is a safe place for her to be."

I feel the exact same way sometimes!! I could have written that myself! My DD is also in 5th grade (Level 5) and starting to also deal with some fear issues! Luckily we have been injury free for over a year now!! I would LOVE for her to stay in gym til college but my husband already thinks she is spends way to much time in the gym (she goes 9 hours currently) and not enough time just being a kid. Boy is he in for a rude awakening when she finally makes it to Level 7 hehe!!

In the end it should be your DD's decision. Most "retired" gymnasts we meet miss the sport tremendously and wish they had not quit.

 

[MdGymMom01]

Big hugs to you as well (((hugs))) as I know this is a difficult spot to be in. Is there a prep-opt program she could transition into for next year? Or maybe a program with less training hours and is less competititive? This way she can continue with her sport but give her body a chance to rest a bit and heal with the Sever's. I totally agree with you that gym is a healthy outlet for her--my dd who just started middle school this past fall is feeling the social pressures and some of her friends are very "mature" for just being 12 and very socially involved and getting to that boy-crazy stage. I don't blame you for trying to keep her away from that at all!!!

I would sit down with your dd and coaches and talk to them about options and what she wants to do next year. Maybe there is a compromise like gymnut suggested.

My dd does a prep-opt type league with limited hours and has a blast. She is still practicing enough for her to be fairly competitive enough to place in some events at meets, but she also has lots of free time to persue other activities--that is so important in balancing them out as they are approaching middle school age. Good luck and I hope you can find a balanced solution so that everyone is happy.

 

[cher062]

I agree with Bog.

I think if she wants to do it and you are ok with it then that is a decision you guys have to make. Does she use the heel cups when she does gymnasitcs? I know in our old gym we had a girl with this and she used the "cheeta heel cups" they helped her ALOT along with some Physical therapy.



Unfortunatly only gym parents and gymnasts really understand the gymnastic commitment and life style.

Siunce she has already qualified for states would you guys consider giving her a break from the other meets before states?

Hope it all turns out well.

 

[Gymnasticgrandkids]

It sounds like there isn't even any relief pads or anything she can use to reduce the pain in her heels (my DGD has sesamoiditis and at least there is a pad she can wear when not doing gymnastics to relieve the pain and she ices it after gymnastics.) I do not know if there can be any damage by the constant pounding of it but if there is not, I say, as long as she is happy, go with it and don't let anyone make you feel you are doing something wrong. Depending on her age, she may be getting close to being finished with the growth plate problem that causes it so hopefully she will have relief soon. I did not really see any injury issues in your post other than the heel problem and having some pain in her wrists (not sure what that's about or what might cause that)...but I do not see issues like my DGD's have had (one has broken both her bones in one arm, 3 bones in her foot and 2 fingers have been displaced/the other is just coming off a broken first metatarsel in her foot and has had a dislocated shoulder)...now that's injuries and they just keep on keeping on...they love it that much and again it is their decision at the moment.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

your daughter is learning things from sport that no amount of money can buy. and everything nowadays is expensive. your daughter must make the decision. tell the family to bug off...it's not their heels that hurt.

this is great...i can now post here.

 

[GymnastJoy]

I am in a somwhat similar situation to yours. My decision is to follow my dd's lead. It is her sport and she who has to spend the hours training and competing. If she continues to want to do gym, regardless of scoring, placements, injuries, etc. then I'm behind her all the way. Of course I do keep a closer eye on her these days as far as her mental and physical welfare (making sure she's not at risk to getting really injured or feel badly about scores/placements). I was never a competitive athlete and give all these kids a lot of credit for doing what they do every day all year round. To me, it sounds like your dd is having a successful L6 season and should be very proud of herself for making it to States. That is quite an accomplishment! She has that goal of doing her personal best at States and can worry about what comes after when the time comes. It sounds as though your dd has already learned a lot of valuable life lessons through gymnastics.

 

[UnoMas]

I can relate to a lot of your post. My DD has been dealing with injuries this year, too (knee and ankle). She is also growing and is in 4th grade. She is L5 and has struggled, mainly with vault and will be repeating L5 next year. Her body's been doing ok lately but it is hard to watch her struggle and not place at meets. We also have some gym issues which are ongoing. I get a lot of pressure from family especially when injuries are flaring up. I have tried to steer her in the direction of dance which she is good at and requires less hours. It's just so much money and time and pain and sometimes it is hard to actually see the benefits. But I so hear what you are saying with the "staying out of trouble" issue. I love the things that gym has taught my DD, I love her friends in the gym and like you said it is a safe environment. Some of her 4th grade friends are chasing boys and wearing makeup! She wants no part of that. The child loves gymnastics. She likes dance, but she LOVES gymnastics. And she is obviously not loving it because she is winning all the medals every meet weekend. Hee hee. She loves it because she loves it.

And...it sounds like your DD loves it too. And for now the benefit is still outweighing the drawbacks. As long as that's the case, then it is a good decision to stay in. I think you will know when the benefits are no longer great enough. And it is definitely her and your decision. You are the sponsor, the taxicab, and the cheerleader. Your opinion and hers are the most important. If she could do prep op for a bit with the option to go back, that would seem like a good choice to give her body a break. I wish we had that option, but we don't. Anyway, trying not to hijack your thread but I really can understand what you are saying. I say, let her be your lead and take others' advice lightly. Best wishes and thoughts to you both.

 

[cathiann]

your daughter is learning things from sport that no amount of money can buy. and everything nowadays is expensive. your daughter must make the decision. tell the family to bug off...it's not their heels that hurt.

this is great...i can now post here.

Totally agree with this--should have nothing to do with your parents--do they make parenting decisions for you in other areas of her life? This should be no different. And Severs is something she will outgrow! Beth has had flare-ups twice now, but has been pain free from that for months now.

 

[maryRS]

Hi. It sounds like you are doing the right thing and taking her lead. With her severs maybe a reduction in hours or a less stressful program would be helpful? My daughter does the Y league and while I realize it's not as competitve as USAG, her team holds their own fairly well, and more importantly she has fun and loves it! It's not for everyone though. I hear you about girls and staying out of trouble, my daughter is in 5th grade also and gym is most definately a welcome distraction - and I think because her gym friends are not really school friends, it's a whole other world away from the drama of school and girls.

 

[Panda-girl's Mom]

Thanx for all the good advice daughter wears a heel cup on the heel that hurts worse. Before her last meet she was told not to wear it in competition because it pulled up and affected her split, so being the resourceful kid she is she tell the other coach who is coaching her at the meet she will wear it on her other foot since that will not affect her split. I did not find this out until after the meet. A few meets back when she was scratching floor I suggested scratcching vault since it really hurts her heels she just got mad and yelled I have been doing this vault for 3 years I am not scratching it. She is determined and has a mind of her own so suggesting she skips the next 2 meets short of putting her heels in a cast is not happening. She let's her coaches know when she needs a break to ice. As far as switchining her to another program she has told me she does not want to go any where else. But I think she would consider doing prep next year if the head coach although it is basically the same hours I think her gym uses it to help prepare for the next level and then tests out. Daughter already informed me that her head coach will decide what she is doing next year.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

wow! sounds like this kid has her head on straight! i got the thing about the heel cup "on her other foot". oh my gosh...i spit on my screen! lol!! i don't think you need to worry about your kid. moxie baby...moxie!

 

[kimmy4]

To address the Sever's issue and your comment "not much you can do but grow out of it"...... you should be constantly having your daugther stretch her foot and ice. (if you are, then please disregard). I took your comment as you're not doing anything about the Sever's but hoping your daughter grows out of it. A good sports doctor that specializes in foot injuries, will be able to give you specific exercises that will greatly help. The key is to stretch, even using different resistance bands....and PT will help. Or, the simple "up and down" on the edge of a step. Or, simply google (or whatever method you prefer) Sever's and treatment options are there. Yes, it's something the kids will outgrow...but there are things you can do to help and assist along the way! Use ice cups and massage the area often, esp after practice. I'm not a doctor, but my daughter has experienced Sever's. If you stretch, ice and rest, it really does help! Good Luck!!

 

[flipper's fan]

I'm guessing from post #14 that you don't really need our advice- your DD seems to have things well under control! I remember you have been having struggles throughout the season where your DD thought about quitting then really turned around and has been doing well and is committed to gym. Tell your relatives that the coach and your DD are discussing her future in gymnastics and that you support her returning next season if that is what she wants to do. Tell them that not every gymnast wins medals at each meet, some don't win medals very often ,and gymnastics is about a whole lot more than that. Tell them Panda Girl understands that and loves gymnastics and if it is not going to cause her any harm, you are happy with that. She'll probably get excited about starting to train for optionals soon, and a lot of things are different then. As you know from experience, things change all the time with our gymnasts. You can't commit to any position on the future without Panda Girl's commitment to it.

 

[gymjoy]

I'm seconding what kimmy4 said; yes, your dd will grow out of the severs, but be proactive about treating it. My dd first had it @9yo, and had a bad flare up this past fall, enough to miss her first meet of the season. She has been pain free for about 2 weeks, mostly because of her aggressive stretching and icing after her pain was confirmed as severs. She did use some resistance bands to help strengthen the ankle as well. On top of all that she we stepped up her chiropractic appointments for a few weeks, not everyone goes for that, but it seems to help my dd.

So, kudos to your dd for knowing what she wants to do and working hard for it, but resting the feet for a little while by missing one, or both, of those meets might mean she does better at states because she is pain free!!!

 

[emorymom]

I think swimming has enough hours post-puberty to keep kids out of trouble. Plus their hair is wet and their makeup is off and all the guys they are training with see them that way. So it lends some perspective.

 

[Panda-girl's Mom]

Daughter does do stretching along with icing. We have not tried chriopactor yet not sure about this. I will probally get her a followup appointment with the ortho doctor and see if physical therapy may help. Daughter did do swiming this year she gave up swim in first grade due to gymnastics her coice this year she was able to do it for her school team very low key she did alright for not doing it in a while. She had a lot of fun. I think swimiming is a great sport her older sister is a swimmer and a friend of mine whose son got a full scholarship for swimming made it to the olympic trials paid a lot less for his swimming than I pay for gymnastics so it is a cheaper sport. Unfortuantly eventhough daughter likes it you can definitly see she just does not have the same passion for it that she's has for gymnastics.