Women Mental Block Question - Refusing to Spot?

[Krystan]

DD has had her flyaway since last summer, but has "lost it" on and off after a fall. She "regained" it in the fall, and has been doing well with it over the past few months, and has competed it successfully several times. Since states, the girls have been focusing on cast-to-handstands, giants, etc, so she's gone a few weeks without attempting the flyaway (her own fault, I'm sure). The other night at practice, the coach reminded her to practice them, and she just *couldn't* do it. She says she's not afraid, she just couldn't. One of the coaches spotted her for one, and it looked a little "off". After bars, as the rest of the team went to beam, DD was stopped by the HC and told that she needed to go off on her own and work on flyaways. Well, she was up there on the pit bar by herself, feeling extremely ashamed, and just *couldn't* do it. The other coach offered to spot her, but the HC said "no", she "doesn't need a spot" since she's competed the move before.

Is this normal/okay? I feel like they think she can actually help not doing the flyaway. (There is another girl at our gym having the same issue with flyaways, and everyone seems to think she's "doing it on purpose".) I'll be honest; my DD, after a very successful time at states, has been increasingly stressed with the uptraining, and been starting to hate going to practice, and we are looking at the "big picture" as to whether she wants to stay. However, I don't think she would ever refuse to do a skill she could do. As DD says, "I already felt so ashamed that I had to ask for a spot when everyone else can do it, that to be told I must be "holding out" was humiliating." Surely there are better ways to handle a mental block? I feel like she would do better after being spotted a bunch of times in a row, but that doesn't seem to be an option. Do some people really think mental blocks are "fake"?

Anyway, we've seen this before a little bit with some of the older girls, but we've always had such wonderful coaching experiences here that it's never occurred to me to question them. I'm sure HC was just getting super-frustrated with my DD, but I hate to think this type of attitude will be responsible for her not liking the sport any more. Just wondering if this is to be expected. Thanks. Also, she's grown about half a foot (puberty) in the past year, if that matters. Also, DD is definitely an "avoider" of skills she's afraid of, so I'm sure this added to the frustration of the coaches. Thanks.

 

[gracyomalley]

My DD grew about 7 inches between 10.5-11.5 yo (and she's only 4-8 now, so that's a big spurt) during which time she got and lost her giants repeatedly, got and lost her BHS-BHS on beam, refused to do Yurchenkos and fulls even in the pit, and even had issues with some back tumbling on floor (usually easy-peasy for her). She is a hard worker, but has sometimes avoided scary skills as well - never one to chuck anything. This last year was exceedingly frustrating for me (and of course her and her coach, but as a parent I had to let go of alot) because of these issues. She actually had to repeat L7 (first repeat ever).

What I should say, however, is that she "needed" to repeat L7. Because with time, patience, a little sports counseling, a lot of "have fun and don't worry if you do it today or not", quite a few privates, her coach changing her beam series, and allowing her to not giant (still had a 10 start value) on bars, extra sleep, extra nutrition, and me STAYING OUT OF IT - she's doing all the above and more now.

It was important to sit down with DD and HC and make a plan - and the goal for my DD was always not "do the thing you are scared of" but "get through this year so you can stay in the thing you love and move on from the thing you are afraid of". Spotting or not spotting weren't really the issue - and probably aren't for your DD - but trust, confidence, getting used to her new body, figuring out if she wants to push through this fear or not, etc. I very much doubt she's doing it on purpose - who'd want that kind of attention!

 

[iwannacoach]

It sounds like she's reacting to being in over her head....

"I'll be honest; my DD, after a very successful time at states, has been increasingly stressed with the uptraining,"

 

[cbifoja]

We have a junior coach who refuses to spot beam BHS on the same principle...that the girl can do it but just has a mental block. I don't know if it is the right thing to do or not as I don't claim to know anything about coaching a gymnast. But I do know that she will let girls stand there and balk over and over again without addressing it, offering a spot, or demanding that they get off the beam. Since these same girls still don't have a solid BHS, it doesn't feel like it's the greatest plan.....

 

[2gymnastand1soccerplayer]

My older dds has had a lot of experience with mental blocks with flyaway's and back tumbling. My dds has had two different coaching approaches to these blocks this year. Her first coach was a lot like your dds go off on your own work it ,you don't need spot, technique. This really didn't help at all she was just getting more scared and more frustrated. Long story short her coach told her to go train with the other coach until you get your skills back. Her second coach is a lot more hands on ready spot when you need. His technique is more lets get you comfortable doing the skill again and I'll spot until you ask me to not to. The technique works a lot better with my dd as it really has helped gain her confidence
Back in her skills. She has her flyaway with her coach just standing their and not touching her but back tumbling is an on again off again fear. She was tumbling fine with a small mat on the floor and felt really comfortable with it, that she was ready to move to tumbling without it. Unfortunately she has been having trouble with tumbling again, so her coach decided to put the May back in to get her comfortable tumbling again.
I don't think it's expected for a coach to do this, but I so think it's put of frustration and they just want them to do the skill, because they know they can.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

sometimes they have to be given space to sort out their own problems lest they be 'over coached'. or there are vestibular issues with a couple of them and they need help with drills and so forth.

 

[raenndrops]

My OG had her flyaway in L6... til HER "bars coach" moved to Washington. Other junior coaches would be coaching bars and she would do her flyaway and they would try to get her to "fix" it. Well, in fixing it, she clipped her feet - broke a toenail to the point of bleeding one time, had to be caught so she didn't land on her head another time it happened. Needless to say, she developed a fear of them. Still isn't doing them and it has been over 2 years since the coach left.
Just this past Thursday, she talked another girl into wanting to work on Flyaways... told one of the other coaches that she trusts... but ran out of time before she could work on them. Hoping she will want to do them this coming week too.
She had a fear of BT on floor for 18 months after HER "floor coach" moved to another state. She was already having trouble with it before the coach left, but didn't have anyone that could spot her on it like that coach, so she stopped doing it... of course, that coach would give her a heavy spot... and then, the coach would tell her that if she didn't go for it, she was going to throw her through it. She started doing it. Had it going well until a very stressful meet day when she was rushing because we were late for check in time... and she attempted it without the coach standing there... and she landed on her head/face. She was fine... just scared... didn't even attempt it and got her high floor score of the season. Attempted it one more time that season, with a heavy spot... but fell on her FT and missed qualifying for Nationals by 0.4 (less than a fall), so her season was over. Then coach moved, so she COULDN'T practice it. Other coaches were "messing" with her technique on other skills and she was losing more skills than she was getting.
One of these "wonderful" coaches was fired after another girl talked to HC about the coach's attitude... The girl did her floor routine at the end of practice (the last practice before leaving for Nationals) - did it pretty good too, her best ever... but not PERFECT - went over to the coach to get feedback... coach didn't say anything at first, then 2 minutes later said "I'm too disgusted to even talk about it right now." This was a 10 year old L6 gymnast that she said this to!!!! When we returned after Nationals, she was no longer employed. The girl went to YMCA Nationals and got her 2nd worst floor score of the season (the only one lower was the first meet of the season). Her best score was more than a full point higher.
Sorry for going off on a tangent... it happens a lot with me .

 

[bogwoppit]

Refusing to spot is not helpful, taking her back to drills for the skill is. How you can fix that is the issue.

 

[AlexsGymmyMom]

What Bog said is true! My DD developed a fear of flyaways and going back to drills and working her way back (with a spot sometimes) got her back on track!

 

[Deleted member 14190]

No harm in spotting them, and plenty of harm if you don't ..,,

 

[Gymnast194]

I have had that problem with back walkovers on beam even with a tall mall under the beam( the mat was touching the bottom where the springs are) and i did it fine with a spot but when my coach left, i wouldn't do it. She got really frustrated. She told me to go to fat pad on high beam and she was next to me but she didn't spot me because she was talking. I eventually started doing it and now i can do it by myself on high beam! You just have to believe in yourself and go for it. Just know your coaches are there next to you.

 

[pt coach]

After 24 years of coaching what I have leaned is that the more I try to force the issue the worse the problem becomes. I know that the kids who work their way out of this type of mental block problem are the ones who have parents who do not push or get frustrated with them and support the ways that we are trying to help their gymnast. I take the child back to drills, spot, allow them to work at their own pace, praise progress, don't make a big deal about set backs, and help them find a way to work around the problem and still enjoy gymnastics in the process. Sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn't, but everyone is happier. By the way, I am also a parent and have had a difficult time following my own advice at times with my own kid....sigh...

 

[Tumbellina82]

I think sometimes coaches don't want to spot because they want the gymnast to trust their own ability and not get dependent. I don't think that trusting their own abilities is something you can force though. They have to build up their confidence gradually and I think that working with a spot can actually promote that provided it is not too heavy a spot. I think the gymnast needs to be the one doing most of the work, not the spotter. If that's not the case then I think it should be fixed in the drills (and those can help improve confidence too.) I don't see the point of repeatedly doing a skill with a heavy spot. Sometimes the first time round takes a heavy spot just because they haven't really got their head round it but if it isn't improving you get into that old "definition of insanity" territory. It is a different matter if it is a fairly light spot and there's an established plan to make the spot progressively lighter and then step back.

With mental blocks I think it helps a lot just to have some sort of plan to deal with it and for the gymnast to know that. I know when I've had them myself I have found it quite scary, feeling that I am somehow not in control of my body. I think a lot of gymnasts are a bit control-freaky because of the nature of the sport. If you believe there is some sort of structure and plan in place where if you follow it it will help you overcome the mental block that gives you some control back.

 

[Loriwks]

My 10 yo L6 competed ro, bhs, bpike on a Sunday, walked into the gym Monday & wouldn't do ANY part of it. She scratched floor for the next 3 meets. The coaches (& us) all just told her "whatever". That took all the pressure off of her mentally. She started working jump lunge ro, bhs, bt & decided she might compete it at State. "OK, whatever." She did (this past weekend), got 9.300 & won all-around. Once that pressure was off, she made the decision to try to work back into it by taking simple steps & if she moved up those steps too soon & balked, she dropped back down a step. When she was comfortable at that step, she moved on to the next step. Her goal now is to add a step instead of just jump lunge, then another step, to where she's eventually running into it. Then she'll be ready to start working LO again. The "OK, whatever" approach worked stunningly well for her!

 

[cbifoja]

I will admit that I like coaches who can adjust their teaching style to each gymnast's learning style. It's hard to do so I really respect those coaches who are willing to let go of "the way they do things" and instead do things "the way that helps the gymnast succeed."

I can understand that some kids would need to be allowed to park themselves on the beam and be given the space to work through their issues by themselves. Introverts especially come to my mind.

And I can see how some kids need that reassurance and need to draw strength from their coach to get their confidence level up. As the mother of an extrovert, I DEFINITELY understand this.

So a coach who makes decisions on whether or not to spot based on what is best for the individual gymnast is a coach that I would nominate for Coach of the Year.