Parents Musings of a Gym Parent in Isolation

[gymmomtotwo]

@gymmomtotwo, I am in the same boat as you. In my case, my daughter is gymnast AND senior, so she misses post season, the only year that she isn't injured during post season L10 and was hoping to make Nationals for the first/last time. She will miss senior recognition at State, something she has been looking forward to since seeing her teammates get recognized when at Level 7. At school, she has worked so hard to make all As and President's Honor Roll but the Awards Night is now cancelled. She won't celebrate Signing Day. She will not get to go to prom, graduation commencement, grad night, yearbook signing, tearful/joyful goodbyes with friends and teachers, do the senior pranks that she and her friends had been planning all year. I am so sad for the seniors. They worked their whole lives to build up for this big moment, the moment that validates it's all worth it. I am afraid to say it really (so I am glad you did so I don't feel so alone), because people are so judgy. Because they don't have seniors and they don't care about a small group of senior kids who will miss out on life's milestones, or it's just gymnastics so get over it. I am not saying the virus situation should be taken lightly, but people judge you if you don't take it with a smiling face and go yeah we are so positive and enjoying family time and my kids are happy doing chores and staying motivated because we are doing this for the public good. Yes, we are doing it for the public good, I am fine with that. I understand the magnitude and doing our part. But it is still sad and gut wrenching for our personal lives. High school graduation is a rite of passage, a formal recognition of the transition from a being a child to entering adulthood. It just feels really wrong that these kids have to miss out so much.

End of rant. Writing it out loud actually made me tearful but still feels good in getting it off my chest.

You said it beautifully. Thank you. So many milestones. I can't imagine if I had missed them in my own life.

 

[3rd_time_around]

Some thoughts, musings if you will, with raw honesty:

*My gymnast daughter wanted to homeschool next year and I was considering it. Not any more. Nope.

*She really only misses her bestie who’s on her team. They FaceTimed tonight and it’s the happiest I’ve seen her in 2 weeks.

*I’m angry. I literally spend everyday on the verge of losing it. 12 years ago we lost everything due to the housing market crash. We have finally recovered, and here we go again. I had ALL my employment taken from me. All my contracted meets, my contracted NCATA meets, my scheduled and future school substitute jobs, and my job at the gym, all gone in just 2 days. I’m admitting it, I’m angry.

*I’m worried my daughter will lose all her skills. She was just getting in the groove, as were her teammates. Casting to horizontal, full vertical handstands on beam, tumbling finally looking less like a frog.... We can’t afford mats or an air track like all (seriously, all) of her teammates. Where will she be when she goes back?

*How will I pay for gym with no money? Will there be a gym to go back to? Which gymnasts will decide not to come back? Will my daughter who coaches be able to hang in there or will she need to find another job? Will my youngest daughter still have a dance recital? will her dance school survive?

*All that time I said that if I just had more free time my house would be cleaner and get organized? It wasn’t true.

*I now understand why people start to drink. I don't drink, but now I get it.

*I’m sick of seeing that house and heart “stay home” icon, and if I hear “social distancing” one more time I may scream. Yes, I said it.

*And I’m sad. I do cry occasionally for all that has been lost by so many gymnasts, senior gymnasts, HS school and college seniors, and people in general. I‘m not a homebody, I HATE having no place to go. I miss my gym moms and I miss watching the amazing gymnasts at the gym and having my freedom.

Oh yeah, I had just bought my son new cleats for soccer because his were falling apart from practicing and playing in all that rain, and his season ended 2 days later. $165 for soccer clothes that arrived after the season was cancelled. He spent 2 years training, sacrificing, and working his butt off to make the HS team, and I feel like it was all for nothing (I haven’t said it out loud, don’t worry, I just think it).

Like someone else said, I’m not going to gush about all the family time and the relaxing, because I’m over it. I’m a better family person when I’m not imprisoned.

 

[txgymfan]

Thank you for your honesty! I’m glad we can be a safe place for CB families to express their true feelings.

 

[PinPin]

Some thoughts, musings if you will, with raw honesty:

*My gymnast daughter wanted to homeschool next year and I was considering it. Not any more. Nope.

*She really only misses her bestie who’s on her team. They FaceTimed tonight and it’s the happiest I’ve seen her in 2 weeks.

*I’m angry. I literally spend everyday on the verge of losing it. 12 years ago we lost everything due to the housing market crash. We have finally recovered, and here we go again. I had ALL my employment taken from me. All my contracted meets, my contracted NCATA meets, my scheduled and future school substitute jobs, and my job at the gym, all gone in just 2 days. I’m admitting it, I’m angry.

*I’m worried my daughter will lose all her skills. She was just getting in the groove, as were her teammates. Casting to horizontal, full vertical handstands on beam, tumbling finally looking less like a frog.... We can’t afford mats or an air track like all (seriously, all) of her teammates. Where will she be when she goes back?

*How will I pay for gym with no money? Will there be a gym to go back to? Which gymnasts will decide not to come back? Will my daughter who coaches be able to hang in there or will she need to find another job? Will my youngest daughter still have a dance recital? will her dance school survive?

*All that time I said that if I just had more free time my house would be cleaner and get organized? It wasn’t true.

*I now understand why people start to drink. I don't drink, but now I get it.

*I’m sick of seeing that house and heart “stay home” icon, and if I hear “social distancing” one more time I may scream. Yes, I said it.

*And I’m sad. I do cry occasionally for all that has been lost by so many gymnasts, senior gymnasts, HS school and college seniors, and people in general. I‘m not a homebody, I HATE having no place to go. I miss my gym moms and I miss watching the amazing gymnasts at the gym and having my freedom.

Oh yeah, I had just bought my son new cleats for soccer because his were falling apart from practicing and playing in all that rain, and his season ended 2 days later. $165 for soccer clothes that arrived after the season was cancelled. He spent 2 years training, sacrificing, and working his butt off to make the HS team, and I feel like it was all for nothing (I haven’t said it out loud, don’t worry, I just think it).

Like someone else said, I’m not going to gush about all the family time and the relaxing, because I’m over it. I’m a better family person when I’m not imprisoned.

So sorry that you have to go through this. Have also been there although we managed to keep our house (just). For us it was 10 years ago and I lie awake worrying that it could happen again with the current situation and work just drying up.

Hang in there. So many of us are having the same thoughts and feelings. Like txgymfan said, at least we have this space.

 

[NutterButter]

Hugs @GAgymmom

Vent anytime.

 

[suds]

I hope anyone living in the darkness of desperate misery will continue to reach out to others every single day - friends, relatives, neighbors, faith leaders, etc. Getting good and angry is something most of us visit at some point during this time. Human connection and support from others are what help each of us move upward from despair. It takes courage.

In and amongst the misery, there are also fledgling sprouts to be noticed. A few of the emerging new growths:

Many grocery stores have now started designated hours for senior citizens only. Respect for our elders is long overdue in American culture. I would like to see protections, such as this simple one, continue.

Also, many school systems were not ready to implement asynchronous learning. As a result, formal instruction has ground to a halt - potentially for months. I am seeing multiple school districts scrambling to find, and invent, creative ways for academics to continue. May this experience shake us out of our need to approach schooling as a regimented brick and mortar experience. I hope it opens eyes to new possibilities and new approaches.

And then there is the slowing down of life. It feels like in the original Star Wars (A New Hope), when Obi-Wan is powering down the tractor beam: the sound effect that occurs as he pulls down each handle. Life is slowing down now and that is not all bad.
A bit of a reset button to rebalance how we allocate our time to match our priorities in life.

No doubt, these are dark times right now.

Yet…

“Only in the darkness can you see the stars.” ― Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

[raenndrops]

Many grocery stores have now started designated hours for senior citizens only. Respect for our elders is long overdue in American culture. I would like to see protections, such as this simple one, continue.

Also, many school systems were not ready to implement asynchronous learning. As a result, formal instruction has ground to a halt - potentially for months. I am seeing multiple school districts scrambling to find, and invent, creative ways for academics to continue. May this experience shake us out of our need to approach schooling as a regimented brick and mortar experience. I hope it opens eyes to new possibilities and new approaches.

I agree. I hope stores keep the "Senior Hour" even after this has passed.

I am so happy that our school district began embracing technology in 2012. It's called the 1:1 Initiative.
The 1:1 initiative grew out of the desire to provide 24/7 access to learning for our students. While the most noticeable portion of the initiative may be the devices that students are bringing home, it is much more.
Teachers are changing the way they teach by providing online access to class resources, references, and supporting materials. Students are no longer passive listeners in the classroom. Instead they are collaborating with other students, as well as creating and submitting content to their teachers electronically.
Why is any of this important? Because the world into which our students will go is different. Whether college or workplace bound, they will be required to be self-motivated, technically competent, problem solving, life long learners.
Preparation for the 1:1 initiative included both an infrastructure and personnel component. During the summer of 2012, the district completed a major wireless infrastructure upgrade to support the increased number of devices and wireless traffic. Teacher preparation has included professional development on topics related to changing instruction. Topics included: Project Based Learning, utilizing online Learning Management Systems, and utilizing online tools (such as Google Apps For Education).
Currently the devices being used in the 1:1 initiative are a mixture of Dell and Lenovo laptops and Chromebooks.
2012-2013 Grades 6-8 (devices go home) & Grade 5 (devices stay in classroom)
2013-2014 Grades 6-10 (devices go home) & Grade 5 (devices stay in classroom)
2014-2015 Grades 6-12 (devices go home) & Grade 3-5 (devices stay in classroom)
2015-2016 Grades 6-12 (devices go home) & Grade 2-5 (devices stay in classroom)
2016-2018 Grades 6-12 (devices go home) & Grade 1-5 (devices stay in classroom)
2018-2019 Grades 5-12 (devices go home) & Grade K-4 (devices stay in classroom)
2019-2020 Grades 4-12 (devices go home) & Grade K-3 (devices stay in classroom)
I think they allowed the K-3 to take their devices home on the last day of school, but I'm not 100% positive.

For those students without Internet access at home due to being in a "dead zone," the school bus drivers will be delivering packets to the students with 2 weeks worth of work in them for each class. Then, they will pick the packets back up when they deliver the next packets.

 

[Gigi]

I am coming back to this thread for support, because even while I still haven't gotten over my kid missing out on all the senior milestones, it appears that she will miss out on her freshman year also - no welcome week, club week, incoming freshman traditions. Oh, it turns out you just stay in your room and attend online classes, you can't even make friends with kids on your floor and you pick up your food to bring back to your dorm room and eat alone! Being a freshman on campus is a unique, memorable experience you can never get back! This is the generation that got awards for just showing up. And now they miss out on everything?! These poor kids!!!! My parent guilt is way high right now.

 

[raenndrops]

I am coming back to this thread for support, because even while I still haven't gotten over my kid missing out on all the senior milestones, it appears that she will miss out on her freshman year also - no welcome week, club week, incoming freshman traditions. Oh, it turns out you just stay in your room and attend online classes, you can't even make friends with kids on your floor and you pick up your food to bring back to your dorm room and eat alone! Being a freshman on campus is a unique, memorable experience you can never get back! This is the generation that got awards for just showing up. And now they miss out on everything?! These poor kids!!!! My parent guilt is way high right now.

Sorry. It sucks. My OG is heading to her campus on August 14. At this point, they will be doing some in person classes, some online, and some hybrid classes. Her school (in normal times) suggests studying in the library between classes and NOT spending a lot of time in your room. She will have a roommate that she has never met, but they have talked on Messenger so they have coordinated who is bringing what. She is hoping that she will be able to have some fun times, but is doubtful ... and already planning to be home to work one day each week plus most weekends (her job, as of now, ends at the end of December) to make as much money as she can to save up for next semester.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

My personal world didn't change much.

I still went to and am going to work.
My circle of friends was small so thats all good.

My kid got her braces off, thousands of dollars for a gorgeous smile. No one will see it because she has a mask on.
I miss hugging.
I really miss my 90 yr old, 29 yrs into a heart transplant aunt.
I hate that I have to pick who comes to my kids confirmation.
I miss my family
I miss my godmother, and she had a good long life. She is in a better place.
I am ticked that we didn't get to scuba this year.

My kid who is the most resilient rock start I know, has had a hard time with this isolation. The world needs to get moving.

I freaking miss going to the gym (for me) and would go back tomorrow. And will be forever mad about it. But moving on.

I love that my husband doesn't have to commute 4 hours round trip 5 days a week. It has done wonders for us and as a family. In more ways then I can count.

I love being able to cook relatively stress free and not in between getting the kid to and from where ever.

I love that she can just do gym, and not worry about meets.

I am thankful that we are healthy, employed, housed, fed, clothed. And that my problems are first world problems.

 

[Learning Parent GB]

As a gym parent it has been really nice to have a break mentally and timewise from the gym runs and stress.
As a parent, I am sad that my children haven't been allowed to hug their grandparents since March and the best guess of when they can is November. As a child, I hate that I am made to feel guilty for following these rules when so many other people aren't.
One of my non gymnast children starts uni this year and will have a very different freshers experience. I am clinging to the fact that it will make for great stories of having 'been there the year that..' when he is older.
As a gym parent it is nice now that we are just allowed back to see the child who does gymnastics taking joy in the little things again.

 

[MILgymFAM]

In the middle of a pandemic is the absolute worst time to do a big cross country move, but here we are- and it didn’t disappoint. It was the worst, most stressful move in 16 years. Now we are in a new place and my gymnast daughter will be doing her sophomore year of college from home.. continuing gymnastics in our garage rather than gym.. and have no way to meet people at all. It definitely all sucks. My younger daughter reached her biggest goal; she was accepted as a trainee to a ballet company for her gap year. Unfortunately that won’t be anything like what she’d always dreamed about since covid has significantly changed the performing arts.

 

[mommyof1]

My younger daughter reached her biggest goal; she was accepted as a trainee to a ballet company for her gap year. Unfortunately that won’t be anything like what she’d always dreamed about since covid has significantly changed the performing arts.

What an amazing achievement! Congratulations to her.