WAG My gymnastics

[iflip00]

Be prepared cuz I think this is gonna be long.... And not sure if you read my post before this? Anywho, never mind. Moving on.
Okay, so basically this is my story:
When I was 2 I was put in gymnastics, and did great. Then one day when I was about 3 or 4 I was pulled out. I then did karate, which I excelled at and by the time I was about 7 I was a purple belt. And I did soccer, which I loved. I did dance at age 6 but quit because of the cost. I decided to leave karate, and go try gymnastics again. I realized I loved it! I made the level 4 team when I was 10, and the gym owner who is also head coach planned on moving my team up 1 level a year. Good plan I thought. So then we moved to level 5 after 4 season, and got a coach who never coached at our gym before. We competed level five in 2012 and then I turned 12 in January 2012. Anyways, mid competition season of level 5 we had a HUGE falling out at our gym and about 5 people left to go to a different gym and the girl who was the oldest left leaving me the oldest and its really awkward because the second oldest is 1 1/2 years younger than me, and she is so tiny so when we line up in height order at meets and stuff I like tower over everybody! Now, I'm not tall. I am actually quite short for my age. I'm 13 and about 5'. So ever since those people (and they were the ones I was closest to) switched gyms I have felt out of place. I considered switching to xcel and being part of the silver team with girls my age and stuff, but then I got the flu about 2 weeks ago and was out of gym for a week. I was able to do so much stuff on the days I would usually be at practice. Like my room was a mess but I was able to clean it spotless, I got A bunch of reading done and got ahead in my homework (I'm homeschooled btw) so it felt so nice to be able to do those things and not be in the gym. I would really love to take up soccer again because I had to drop it when I made team but I know that if I quit gym I'll regret it. And it's not just one bad practice. Like I've been having bad practices for so long now and it just isn't fun anymore. I really want to try other things. Every Wednesday my youth group has bible study (I'm a Christian) and I can't go because of practice. And I really want to! I have missed so many things because of gymnastics but I love gymnastics anyways! I am just getting burnt out and don't know how to tell my parents. My little sister is 9 and on team also, she is excelling. She has her round off backhandspring tuck, standing tuck, working walkovers on high, starting to train giants on strap, and all kinds of stuff. But follows me everywhere! Say that I have to miss practice one day because I'm sick or something, she then asks if she can skip for no good reason. I just am burning out, wanna quit but don't want it to affect her. :/ I am stumped on what to do. Somebody help? Please? And don't just say "tell your parents" I need something more than that. Like how do I tell them exactly what I'm feeling because I know it would be hard to explain this all to them. Sorry it's long, and please help. Thank you so much. I'm really stressed.

 

[JoyAvenueMom]

I know we've never met, but I think you are a remarkable young woman. I can tell a few things from reading your post:

You are a very bright girl.
You love your family.
You understand that your choices affect others, and you have great concern for others in your life.
You have loads of talent in several areas.
You don't really know what you want, so you're afraid to start a conversation with your parents that may lead to a decision you will regret.

Personally, I think a young lady like yourself must have been raised by wonderful, caring parents. If you were my daughter, my heart would break to hear about you being so stressed out. (it actually does already!) I am sure your parents will be understanding and will spend time helping you sort this out. So, here is my best effort at suggesting a way to have this very difficult conversation:

First: Make a list of all the "pros" for dropping gymnastics, and a list of "cons". Do the same kind of list for staying where you are in the compulsory track, and then, finally, for moving to the excel track. This will help you show your parents you have really been thinking the situation through. You may find some "holes" in your lists, things you aren't sure of. That's okay.

Second: Pick a time when your parents aren't stressed or terribly busy. (this can be hard in my house). Let them know you have something very important to talk with them about. Tell them you are confused, and want to discuss some options regarding your participation in gymnastics. Use your lists to demonstrate how much thought you have given the subject.

Finally: Read this next sentence several times: Your little sister's decision to stay in gymnastics is not your responsibility to bear. That is a very heavy burden for any person to carry. If she TRULY loves it, it will not matter to her if you quit. She is old enough to seperate her love for the sport from her adoration of you. She is lucky to have you as a big sis'!

I have 19yo and 8yo girls who love each other dearly. They chose different paths. The older one tried gymnastics for a while. She liked it, but didn't have a passion for it like the younger one does. She eventually found her own passion for music and dance. Now, she enjoyes going to meets and cheering on her little sister.

Best wishes. Let us know how it goes.

 

[Amusibus]

The above post is certainly excellent advice, but one other thing I was wondering is where did all you friends go? Can you switch gyms to be with them? And I totally agree you should make your decisions based on what is best for you. It's great you love your sister and are concerned about her but a super important life lesson is to do what's best for you even if you think others might not totally like it. Good luck.

 

[fliptwisttwirl]

I agree with the pros and cons list.
Also I have a sister that's is 10 and in gymnastics with me. (I'm 17)
I'm several levels above her and I know that she looks up to me but I know that if I got out for some reason she would stay in because of her love for the sport. If your sister has that love then you don't have anything to worry about. And if she doesn't then you definitely don't have anything to worry about because she wouldn't stay in forever anyways. Do what's best for you. Your sister will understand.

 

[leotardmakermum]

As you've stated you're a Christian, perhaps it might be time to pray about it all. ;-) They're big decisions and big issues you're talking about, and you can trust God that he will guide you. Also, if you're not sure where to start with your parents, when you've chosen a good, non-stressed time to talk to them, you could even start by getting them to read what you wrote for all of us to read. It may take time to work it all out, but you'll get there.

 

[iflip00]

As you've stated you're a Christian, perhaps it might be time to pray about it all. ;-) They're big decisions and big issues you're talking about, and you can trust God that he will guide you. Also, if you're not sure where to start with your parents, when you've chosen a good, non-stressed time to talk to them, you could even start by getting them to read what you wrote for all of us to read. It may take time to work it all out, but you'll get there.

Thank you. I think I've just got too stressed about this to remember that God is there to help. I'll be praying about this. thank you so much.

 

[iflip00]

I know we've never met, but I think you are a remarkable young woman. I can tell a few things from reading your post:

You are a very bright girl.
You love your family.
You understand that your choices affect others, and you have great concern for others in your life.
You have loads of talent in several areas.
You don't really know what you want, so you're afraid to start a conversation with your parents that may lead to a decision you will regret.

Personally, I think a young lady like yourself must have been raised by wonderful, caring parents. If you were my daughter, my heart would break to hear about you being so stressed out. (it actually does already!) I am sure your parents will be understanding and will spend time helping you sort this out. So, here is my best effort at suggesting a way to have this very difficult conversation:

First: Make a list of all the "pros" for dropping gymnastics, and a list of "cons". Do the same kind of list for staying where you are in the compulsory track, and then, finally, for moving to the excel track. This will help you show your parents you have really been thinking the situation through. You may find some "holes" in your lists, things you aren't sure of. That's okay.

Second: Pick a time when your parents aren't stressed or terribly busy. (this can be hard in my house). Let them know you have something very important to talk with them about. Tell them you are confused, and want to discuss some options regarding your participation in gymnastics. Use your lists to demonstrate how much thought you have given the subject.

Finally: Read this next sentence several times: Your little sister's decision to stay in gymnastics is not your responsibility to bear. That is a very heavy burden for any person to carry. If she TRULY loves it, it will not matter to her if you quit. She is old enough to seperate her love for the sport from her adoration of you. She is lucky to have you as a big sis'!

I have 19yo and 8yo girls who love each other dearly. They chose different paths. The older one tried gymnastics for a while. She liked it, but didn't have a passion for it like the younger one does. She eventually found her own passion for music and dance. Now, she enjoyes going to meets and cheering on her little sister.

Best wishes. Let us know how it goes.

Thank you for your kind words! I will start on my lists tomorrow after school. This really means a lot. Thank you so much for your help!
Best wishes to you and your family!

 

[GymBee97]

print up your post here and give it to your parents. Honestly from your post I can see you love gymnastics but want to see what else the world holds for you. Excel might be a good option if you still want to do competitions but have a little more free time. If competitions don't matter may be just doing a rec class one or two days a week will keep you in the gymnastics you love but give you time for more things.

I know if my DD told me everything in your post I would take the time to discuss what she really wants and it would have nothing to do with what her sister wants or is doing.

You posted this
"I really want to try other things. Every Wednesday my youth group has bible study (I'm a Christian) and I can't go because of practice. And I really want to! I have missed so many things because of gymnastics"

That to me says it all. Listen you yourself and give yourself permission to choose what you want to do and not be "stuck" because you feel some obligation to your sister. Ask yourself if there wasn't a sister would you still want to say doing gymnastics to the level you are doing it or would you move on and try new things.

 

[iflip00]

print up your post here and give it to your parents. Honestly from your post I can see you love gymnastics but want to see what else the world holds for you. Excel might be a good option if you still want to do competitions but have a little more free time. If competitions don't matter may be just doing a rec class one or two days a week will keep you in the gymnastics you love but give you time for more things.

I know if my DD told me everything in your post I would take the time to discuss what she really wants and it would have nothing to do with what her sister wants or is doing.

You posted this
"I really want to try other things. Every Wednesday my youth group has bible study (I'm a Christian) and I can't go because of practice. And I really want to! I have missed so many things because of gymnastics"

That to me says it all. Listen you yourself and give yourself permission to choose what you want to do and not be "stuck" because you feel some obligation to your sister. Ask yourself if there wasn't a sister would you still want to say doing gymnastics to the level you are doing it or would you move on and try new things.

Obligation is the perfect word! Exactly how I feel. I will print this up along with the pros and cons lists I was going to make. As soon as I can I will ask to talk with my parents. Thank you so very much! Thinking about it as if my sister wasn't doing it, I would still want to try other things. Thank you.

 

[leotardmakermum]

iflip00, you really seem like such a sensible, mature and very eloquent young lady. I'm sure you'll do well whatever you choose.

 

[GymBee97]

Your just a kid yourself and Gymnastics should be a real Joy to do without the strings of an obligation.