Parents need advice on possible gym change

[daisy3]

My daughter is currently at a very competitive gym. She is only a level 2 but will move up to level 3 at the end of this season. She is also involved in other sports and isn't ready to make a decision on what sport to stick with (and Im more than okay with that!).

My problem is if I keep her at her current gym she will go 4 nights a week next year which would conflict with her other sports. I can move her to a less competitive gym which only does 3 nights a week for level 3 and it would be easier for her to stick with her other sports for at least another year.

She loves gymnastics but also loves the other sports she does. I don't want to her to have to pick one sport over another right now - she is only 7 - but I also don't want to make the wrong decision for her.

I assume she will switch over to xcel at some point but her current coach thinks she should stick with the JO track as long as possible.

Anyone else ever been in a similar situation? Any advice on what to do?

 

[GYM0M]

Yes, been there, done that....got the t-shirt. DD, 9, L8/9/TOPS/HOPES, has devoted her time to gymnastics. She has given up school plays (traditional school altogether, now), birthday parties, family activities, etc. She was asked at the age of 7 to commit fully to gymnastics by her coaches. She gave up competitive dance, which she also enjoyed. Here's how I sleep at night: even though she was (is) very young, she is in control of her CHOICES. I present the dilemma and alternatives, but ultimately, she decides what she wants to do. That may seem crazy to some, but it is the most logical way to handle her schedule conflicts. I about ran myself (& her) ragged trying to keep her involved in ALL her interests, but when the time came & choices had to be made, they were made by HER.

 

[gymmomtoo]

I know she's only seven, but I'd ask her for her input--does she know staying at the current gym will limit her other activities? Would she rather stay there and drop other things or move and keep up with her other stuff?

 

[GYM0M]

I would like to add that she still participates in activities outside of gymnastics that I often 'encourage' or initiate, ok sometimes, force. But gym takes the lead, always. She has made that very clear in her words, actions, passion, & dedication. I'm the first one to JUMP on an activity that doesn't interfere with her gymnastics schedule, i.e. Awanas at church, community events that extend into Saturday afternoons, inviting friends over that are not in gymnastics (which presents different problems, lol), and I try to present alternatives that compensate for her CHOICES (we never use the word sacrifice, always choice). For instance, if she misses a bday party, I'll take her and the honoree for ice cream or something like that.

 

[LJL07]

My DD is also 7 and coming off a season of level 2. She loves gymnastics. She has done soccer, tennis, loves art and drama, etc. She even tried a three month cheer team. She always comes back around to gymnastics. We have a similar dilemma of keeping it fun and staying at the gym with less hours next year versus a more serious program. I know she's conflicted because she loves most of the girls and the fun at her current gym. At the end of the day though, she wants to be a better gymnast, wants more hours, and she wants to progress a little bit faster. I agree with the posters about letting her guide the decision making progress. If she loves the other activities and is kind of so-so about gymnastics, then sounds like less hours is the way to go. If she is very dedicated to gymnastics though, you will have to sacrifice the other activities. Eventually they have to make a choice. The time demands of the sport become too much.

 

[lhmom]

If she is interested in other sports, I'd probably change to the the lesser competitive gym. My DD competed the old level 4 (new 3) at age 6 going 9 hours a week. Until she was around 9 and made the move to 5 days a week, she was able to play soccer, basketball and one season of softball before committing to gymnastics only. For mine, I don't think she would still be in gymnastics if she hadn't gotten the opportunity to play other sports. When she moved to optionals, she did a few sports camps during the summer which she has enjoyed. It's a tough call but you know your daughter better than anyone.

 

[gracyomalley]

I think 3 nights a week (or 10-12 hours a week) would be more "normal" for L3/L4. That being said, each area is different. I would not decide yet, with a 7 year old, whether she would like xcel or JO best - unless you are in an area where its easy to go back and forth. Remember, Xcel is really designed for older kids who can't commit to 16-20+ hours a week.

At age 7, its important for a kid to be a kid. Now, if that kid has plenty of time for birthday parties, playdates, school projects (even if homeschooled), family activiites, etc then hours in gym don't really matter.

How you define "competitive gym" also matters. Do you mean they win a lot, or do you mean they send lots of level 10s on to college gym....and have well trained, happy optional teenagers? Winning a lot as compulsories but with big drop off at optionals would not be worth extra hours, but well trained happy older girls might....

DD at 7 was training 12 hours a week, old L5. She was a very successful L7 at age 10 - training 16 hours a week school year, 20 in summer. She played in a youth orchestra, did ballet until they moved to pointe work and she couldn't fit it in, and was active at our church. Her coaches were very supportive of her balancing other activities with gym at that young age. Not a hot shot of course, but still "competitive" by any standard. She loved gym and wished to be there "all the time". Fast forward to age 12 - and each kid will be defining who they are in AND out of the gym - bodies change, goals change, and approach to gym changes for many kids, even the live at the gym type.

Lastly, have you asked your Dd and also the coaches? I was surprised how helpful DD coaches were when I finally sat down with them to discuss balance in life for DD.

Even when she was young I tried to let DD make some of the choices - but really, at age 7 you are very much in charge and she doesn't "know" what she's choosing. Believe me, when they hit 12 or so and start to really think about it all you realize how very small their world "was" when they were young serious gymnasts - and their gymnastics and coach and gym friends really were "everything"....they need to feel like gym is a part of their life but not controlling their life at the point when they become "in charge" or they will likely quit....and if that happens you want them to be quitting "for something" not just because - so yes, keep up other interests at age 7-10!!!

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I think 3 nights a week (or 10-12 hours a week) would be more "normal" for L3/L4.
Lastly, have you asked your Dd and also the coaches? I was surprised how helpful DD coaches were when I finally sat down with them to discuss balance in life for DD.

Even when she was young I tried to let DD make some of the choices - but really, at age 7 you are very much in charge and she doesn't "know" what she's choosing. Believe me, when they hit 12 or so and start to really think about it all you realize how very small their world "was" when they were young serious gymnasts - and their gymnastics and coach and gym friends really were "everything"....they need to feel like gym is a part of their life but not controlling their life at the point when they become "in charge" or they will likely quit....and if that happens you want them to be quitting "for something" not just because - so yes, keep up other interests at age 7-10!!!

Yes this, I don't see the need for compulsory levels to be all consuming. We go three days a week L4 7.5 hours. L5-9 does 12 hours minimum, Saturdays are encouraged but optional. Balance is really important.

They are kids, they need to be kids, go to birthday parties, just run around and play, participate in school fun.

From a personal perspective, we changed gyms because the old gym wanted more hours then I was willing to commit to. This gym requires less. And my daughter is doing better being trained better and our teams usually always have strong finishes soundly beating the old gym regularly this season.

Its not the amount of hours necessarily but how they are training during those hours.

The old gym, a lot of time was wasted. One kid on a bar, seven or eight others sitting around unfocused and chatting. This gym, the kids not directly working with a coach have drills, conditioning. Lots of group stuff going on. My kid does more in one day then she probably did all week at the old gym and it shows.

 

[ZJsMom]

I agree that it's a good idea to talk with the coaches. I think that 7 is too young to choose one activity and she still should be exploring her interests. When my dd was in level 5 she still did softball and the coaches let her leave practice early on game days. We just had a Fall compulsory season, so they were off season when softball began.

 

[GlobalNomad]

Do you have to switch gyms? At lower levels, I know some gymnasts are able to balance two sports or dance. Some miss practice once a week. They do talk to the gym first.

 

[MAcastsalot]

@daisy3 judging by the leo and hairstyle in your pic, and description of the gym, I am pretty sure I know to which gym you are referring(DD is a level 2 at a different gym, but has friends there). Of course I could be wrong, and that may be a very popular leo/hairstyle combo, but I just wanted to let you know if you wish to remain anonymous. If DD decides to stay, you may not want them to know she/you wanted to leave.

Even if we aren't in the same area, DD's gym is 3 nights/wk at level 3, but will go up to 4 nights at level 4. We have talked about the jump to 3 days for next year, and she is very excited about the extra hours. She has been begging for more all year. Her other sport and activities are weekends only for now, so it isn't really a problem, but she has already had to choose this year between gymnastics and other activities, and she chooses gym every time. I make it clear that the commitment to gym is for the entire year, and she can reevaluate at that time, but she can't quit gym mid-season if something else comes up. I think 7 is definitely old enough to be a part of the process.

 

[LJL07]

I think 3 nights a week (or 10-12 hours a week) would be more "normal" for L3/L4. That being said, each area is different. I would not decide yet, with a 7 year old, whether she would like xcel or JO best - unless you are in an area where its easy to go back and forth. Remember, Xcel is really designed for older kids who can't commit to 16-20+ hours a week.

At age 7, its important for a kid to be a kid. Now, if that kid has plenty of time for birthday parties, playdates, school projects (even if homeschooled), family activiites, etc then hours in gym don't really matter.

How you define "competitive gym" also matters. Do you mean they win a lot, or do you mean they send lots of level 10s on to college gym....and have well trained, happy optional teenagers? Winning a lot as compulsories but with big drop off at optionals would not be worth extra hours, but well trained happy older girls might....

DD at 7 was training 12 hours a week, old L5. She was a very successful L7 at age 10 - training 16 hours a week school year, 20 in summer. She played in a youth orchestra, did ballet until they moved to pointe work and she couldn't fit it in, and was active at our church. Her coaches were very supportive of her balancing other activities with gym at that young age. Not a hot shot of course, but still "competitive" by any standard. She loved gym and wished to be there "all the time". Fast forward to age 12 - and each kid will be defining who they are in AND out of the gym - bodies change, goals change, and approach to gym changes for many kids, even the live at the gym type.

Lastly, have you asked your Dd and also the coaches? I was surprised how helpful DD coaches were when I finally sat down with them to discuss balance in life for DD.

Even when she was young I tried to let DD make some of the choices - but really, at age 7 you are very much in charge and she doesn't "know" what she's choosing. Believe me, when they hit 12 or so and start to really think about it all you realize how very small their world "was" when they were young serious gymnasts - and their gymnastics and coach and gym friends really were "everything"....they need to feel like gym is a part of their life but not controlling their life at the point when they become "in charge" or they will likely quit....and if that happens you want them to be quitting "for something" not just because - so yes, keep up other interests at age 7-10!!!

Lots of good points above. Most of them don't "know" or fully understand what they are choosing at age 7 or 8. Nevertheless, I would still use what she is wanting out of gymnastics NOW as a guide for next year. Every area is definitely different. The 3 night/week gym is not winning the compulsory meets here, but the gyms with many more hours are winning. But it's level 3, so I'm not sure how important it is to "win" all the time at level 3. Agree if she might want to one day get more serious about gym to look at the higher levels at your program rather than compulsories.

@gracyomalley, how in the world did you juggle 16 hours a week of gym with school, youth orchestra, and ballet?? Do you have a clone or chauffeur? I so wish we could let my gym girl do some other things, but it is logistically impossible. And she's not at 16 hours/week yet...

 

[suebee]

What other sports does she do and what is the level of competition she is doing these other sports?

If she just wants to participate in the other sports but is not interested in pursuing them seriously and does them on a rec level, are there other options for those sports? Different times, different days that don't conflict with gym?

I was just talking to a hockey mom, and their schedules sound horrible! So something like gymnastics and hockey may not work out but other things might be okay.

 

[daisy3]

Thanks everyone for the responses! I really appreciate the advice since this is a somewhat new world to me!

She currently plays soccer, hockey and lacrosse on top of gymnastics...I know...way to much but she really likes all of them and doesn't want to give up any of them right now. Soccer and lacrosse is intramural but she wants to play travel soccer in the fall. Hockey is travel and is just as time consuming as gymnastics.

I have talked to her couch and she is well aware that we are thinking of leaving. I have been honest with her and I trust her and her advice...She wants her to stay with the belief that if she stays at her current gym through 3/4 she will get better training and be in a better position for whatever she decides to do in the future (stick with JO or more to xcel). If we had her again next year I wouldn't switch - she has been wonderful about conflicts in her schedule and allowing her to come to different practices (same level, different nights).

I have also talked to my daughter - part of her wants to stay because she has been with these girls for two years and part of her wants to switch because she doesn't want to commit to the 4 days. She also wants to go to the other gym because a few of her friends are there (but they wouldn't be on the same team).

As far as her view on gymnastics she isn't looking to be the next Olympian. She doesn't even care if she wins at meets. She just really likes it and has fun learning new skills. I don't even think she has high school gymnastic on her radar...but she does see the higher level girls and says she can't wait to do skills like that - not realizing how committed those girls are to this sport!

 

[MAcastsalot]

That's great that they've been flexible this year. Any indication if there are different options like that for level 3? Do they have to do 4 days, or can they do 3? Our gym is smaller, but it is not uncommon for level 2s to go to a level 3 practice or vice versa if they have conflicts. I think at the lower levels it is hard to commit to so many nights a week, especially if they love all of the sports equally.

 

[MAcastsalot]

Oh and DD does soccer and swimming, but wants to try lacrosse, downhill racing, and hockey (and field hockey). No interest in music or art, all sports for my girl. So far we've been able to stick with only one expensive sport at a time!

 

[daisy3]

@MAcastsalot Im not sure. Her coach has been great this year! Im not sure if that would be an option next year.

btw- thanks for the heads up about her pic/leo I didnt realize how easy it was to identify especially from the back!!

 

[MAcastsalot]

@daisy3 I could totally be wrong, I just thought I'd let you know. I always think those leos are the cutest, too!

 

[daisy3]

I think your right!

 

[Deleted member 18037]

The 3 night/week gym is not winning the compulsory meets here, but the gyms with many more hours are winning. .

I guess that would depend on what scores are winning compulsory meets and the kids.

I found with my daughter this year, that a few extra privates went much further then an extra day would of. She was at point where it was the details were what needed work on, hard to drill down to that level in a group practice, the few privates is what kicked her up the .2-.3 that she needed.