need other perspectives

[2gymmies]

Ok all you experience gym people...

We have a situation that I need some unbiased/unemotional perspective on. There is a relatively new gym (less than 2 years old) in our area that has a strong team based on meet performance thus far. They have acquired gymnasts in most levels from other programs and have at least one girl in each level (except 6 - they don't do it). We are at a little bit older gym (10 years old) that has a small reasonably successful team through the levels, with a bit of elite success as well. Since the new gym opened, we have lost many of our optional team members to the new gym. We don't have any significant issues with the coaching at our current gym, but now that most of the optionals have left, we are concerned that older dd is going to be in a less than ideal situation by staying. She will have almost no gym friends or role models her age/level or above and she will be spending 20+ hours a week doing something that will seem more like a job than fun. The social side of gymnastics is important to us for our girls since they spend so much of their time at the gym. It also worries me a bit that all of these people might know something that I don't know about our current gym or the new one. Two of older dd's gym friends just switched at the beginning of January and her other close gym friend just decided to switch this week. Little dd is relatively unaffected by any of it at her age and level. What does your gut say about this whole ugly, complicated mess? Should we consider following the crowd to the new gym or should we stay the course alone?

Anyone out there switch gyms for social/peer considerations or even thought about it?

Thanks in advance.

 

[Galadriel]

difficult
i guess that the main thing to me and dd is that she enjoys herself at training - otherwise it is more like a chore!
we moved to another gym because dd wasnt enjoying the sport anymore at the then current gym and was considering quitting at the end of the season.
if your dd isnt enjoying herself for whatever reason it is a good option in my opinion to sit down and ask her - what would make you enjoy it more- if the answer is being with others my age etc and all that goes with it - then this is a consideration definitely!
of course the ones that moved may end up moving back to current gym once they realise the grass isnt neccesarily greener!

I would wait and see if dd mentioned not being happy myself. she may enjoy having more coach attention and time that the exodus has led to?

 

[gym monkeys mom]

I guess if you have no issues and DD's are happy I see no need to leave. Sometimes people have "new gym fever". They think it will bebluer on the other side of the mat and problem free. It will for a bit BUT then reality will set in it does at every gym. When reality sets in you will see a group from the "new" gym leave.....they maybe cronich gym hoppers. This is not a good title to have.

This being said I would see what both gyms have to offer and what your DD's goals are for gymnastics. Then ask some who have left why they left and what they see as strengths and weaknesses of new program. do the same to the ones who have also stayed where they are at. this willgive you persepective in what to do. In the end you gymnast is the one who needs to be safe and happy no you.....they may be fine with only a few teammates!

We have been on the mass exodous of teammates a few times it is never fun and does make you question things. I will say my DD never wanted to leave her current program flaws and all, she has limited teammates and is the higest/oldest level at her gym. this being said she loves her coach and being a role model to the other gymnast. She has also managed to fit in friends outside the gym and other activities. I see outside the gym interests as paramont to any sport as you will one day leave this sport and need to know how to live a life without it.

BTW of the kids who left our program for the other newer better gym most have since wuit gymnastics and new better gym is now the old gym and has limited uper level gymnasts. Here in MN many new gyms have popped up in the last few years and other coaches have jumped prgrams and gone to run others their has been a huge bunch of gymnast hopping in a few years....it always makes one wonder if they are truly happy doing the sport. We have also had kids come back from other programs and we are not a top scoring gym but gymnasts and kids realized they were not always happy with "new"

These are only my thoughts on this matter hope it helps.

 

[my4buffaloes]

We left our old gym for numerous reasons - one of those being all her friends had left and she was the only one left at her level or anywhere near her age. One of our concerns was that this gym was trying to push her through the levels to get her in the same group as the level 8s (she was a level 4!). They hemmed and hawed about how she wasn't ready to move up (after 3 years at level 4), yet in the next breath wanted to push her through several levels quickly. It didn't make sense to us. If your dd is the only one at that level or ability and far from other levels then it might not even make sense for the gym to have that level. Which would force the gym to either hold back or push ahead (possibly). I would definitely consider changing if there is no one else her age or skill level. But that doesn't mean you should change. Gymnasts change gyms all the time it seems, you might be surprised at how many gymnasts head back to your gym at the end of the season. Good luck, always a tough decision.

 

[wallinbl]

It also worries me a bit that all of these people might know something that I don't know about our current gym or the new one.

Talk to a few of the parents that left about the factors they used in their decision making.

We switched gyms a little over a year ago for several reasons. First, the gym we were with was a competitive team at a preschool/birthday party gym. They don't have any optionals because they don't have the equipment (ceiling is too low for giants; no vault table). That wasn't an immediate concern, but we also realized we'd eventually have to leave (either due to advancing or quitting). Second, it had to do with style of coaching. The coach at the original gym was great - we and DD all love her. The coaches at the new gym are highly technical and perfectionist - DD thrives on that. Third, the dynamics within the girls on the team weren't exactly favorable to DD - she was the youngest and would get left out of the existing team clique (hard to watch for a parent).

Switching gyms was a nerve wracking process. How would DD accept the new coaches? How would she interact with the new teammates? Would the stress of it make her quit? It's really something I don't want to go through again. In the end, it has a been a great move - she's flat out excelling, she likes her teammates and she's having a blast.

Even if it winds up being a good thing, remember that switching introduces stress, so don't take it lightly - do it for solid reasons.

 

[cher062]

This is a tough situation from a parent view. Have you asked your Daughter what she wants to do? The most important thing is that she is happy doing what she loves no matter where she does it. Don't fool yourself either your younger DD does feel the affects even if she doesn't show it or it doesn't seem to affect her level. If it affects the family it will affect her too. Also if DD wants to move for social reasons will you move your younger DD so the girls will be together and make it easier for you to commute?

I would follow your Daughters lead and what she wants to do.

 

[bookworm]

We have switched gyms twice in the past ..and it has generally been due to coaching (or lack thereof) issues. That said, as my daughter got older, it was more dicey when I decided it was time to switch..and I say I because it is my decision based on what's going on. I think it's sometimes hard for an adolescent to make the decision to leave her gym, even if for the right reasons, because of the whole social issue ...and I thought that by making it my decision, and telling the coaches this, the burden is on me, not her (and hopefully her old coaches won't be nasty about it..) She has thrived with the gym changes and in my experience, if you're even thinking of a change, then it's about a year overdue.

 

[Mack_the_Ripper]

Stop worrying about the new gym and start worrying about your gym. Does your DD like the coaches? Is she learning a lot and improving? I wouldn't worry so much about the social aspect...some of her friends have left, sure, but that will happen no matter what. As for having someone at the same level/age path she is...most people don't. I'm 4 years older than the rest of my level. My teammate is 4 years younger than the rest of her level. Anyway, you don't choose a college based on where your friends are going, and you shouldn't choose a gym based on that either. Think about if you're happy with the coaching and the program...everyone going to the other gym could easily be a bandwagon type thing.

 

[MaryA]

We have switched gyms twice in the past ..and it has generally been due to coaching (or lack thereof) issues. That said, as my daughter got older, it was more dicey when I decided it was time to switch..and I say I because it is my decision based on what's going on. I think it's sometimes hard for an adolescent to make the decision to leave her gym, even if for the right reasons, because of the whole social issue ...and I thought that by making it my decision, and telling the coaches this, the burden is on me, not her (and hopefully her old coaches won't be nasty about it..) She has thrived with the gym changes and in my experience, if you're even thinking of a change, then it's about a year overdue.

My DD actually asked me to make the decision for her. She had made a list of pros and cons of switching and the 'pro' list was twice as long as the 'con' list, yet she still couldn't make the final decision herself. She wanted me to make the decision and she wanted me to tell her coaches that the final decision was mine. There was s lot of guilt involved.

We moved to the new gym for lots of reasons, but I know that there are some girls at the new gym who moved there from a different gym (not the one DD was going to) largely because the rest of their team did. ALL of the level 5's left the other gym to come to the new gym and I think the last few did it mainly because their parents were wondering what kind of gymnastics experience they were going to be able to have with so many of their teammates gone.

So, do what my DD did... Find out as much as you can about the new gym, get out your notebook, and start your 'pros' and 'cons' list. It's definitely not something to do lightly.

 

[TXmom]

Would you be able to have a meeting with the new gym? You could sit with the coaches and find out more about their program. They could answer any questions you have and you would be able to see the facility for yourself. Maybe you can talk to other parents about their experience. MaryA's suggestions about pros/cons is a great way to do a comparison as well. I know it must be a difficult decision, I hope everything works out in whatever you decide, I know it can be hard!

 

[2gymmies]

Thanks to everyone for their insight. I think we are going to sit tight for the moment and then re-evaluate after state and regionals (if dd qualifies). We have not talked to the people at the new gym and we have not been there to see it - I know how small the gymnastics world can be and I don't want their to be any misconception at our current gym that we are jumping ship until we decide that is something we want to consider. Unfortunately for me, 2 of the people who left were in our carpool so now I'm stuck making the 30-40 minute drive (each way) every day! That might take its toll and force us to consider a change, too.

Thanks again everyone! You guys are awesome.

 

[cbone]

We switched gyms because our first gym didn't fit what our daughter wanted out of the experience. She wanted to compete and was adamant about it. Our first gym was more "fun", but they didn't work as hard and didn't prepare their gymnasts to compete in a way that we felt was appropriate for what our daughter told us she wanted. We switched gyms and she is much happier. She trains under a former Olympic gold medalist and his mentality matches hers. It's a good fit.

If there is anything I've learned while being a gym dad (from my experience and watching and talking to others), it's that people can enjoy the sport in different ways. Our old gym always turns in weak performances from a results perspective, but their girls that are still there still enjoy gymnastics and have a lot of fun at meets. If our children walk away from doing gymnastics happy, we're in the right place. If not, switch it up.

Ask her what she wants and the rest will fall into place. Just my $0.02.