Women Needs more confidence at meets

[LIGYMMOM]

It is so frustrating! DD is amazing at practice. Her vault is fast and powerful, beam is nice and fluid. Seems to be at the top of her group in many areas. Then she gets to a meet and her nerves get the best of her. Her vault is slow and labored, she gets over mostly by her strength, and her beam in particular is very shaky, she doesn't hit all of her poses and tells me that she shakes all over.
She just finished her 2nd L4 meet and she did ok, AA score was around 33.5, ended up in the middle of the pack which is typical for her, but I know that she has so much more in her if she could just find the confidence she has in the gym!
What do you say about a kid like this? Is she just one of those kids who does better in practice? Anyone have any experience with a gymnast like this who gained more experience and then "found her confidence"? She is 9 and in her 2nd year of competition, so it's not exactly new to her, but not as seasoned as some.

 

[coachmolly]

I spent my whole gymnastics "career" as that kind of kid. Great in practice, mediocre at meets. I was often outscored by girls who didn't practice nearly as well but could turn it on at a meet which was a constant source of frustration.
But, I don't think you need to resign yourself to the fact that this will continue to be the case for your DD. Some kids pick up confidence with continued exposure to competitive situations. There are also some mental training programs you can do online through Head Games by Doc Ali which I've heard very positive things about. You could also ask her coach if they have any tips to help calm her before/during meets. It could be she is afraid of making the coaches upset, if that possibility is thrown off the table, she might show some progress.
For me, the problem largely stemmed from being a very intense gymnast who placed a lot of pressure on myself, even if my coach's did not. But from what I've heard, I was an exceptionally difficult case and not the norm.

 

[Seeker]

I would just say she needs more competition experience. Does she talk about being nervous? Is she aware that her performance is effected by this? It never hurts to talk about how to harness your energy and use those nervous feelings to your advantage, give her some ideas to reel in her focus and to relax. She is young and it is only her 2nd year, so there is plenty of time to improve, but it may be a learned skill for her (that requires some coaching) rather than her innate sensibility about how to be a competitor.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

she's 9. it'll come in time.

 

[gymmutti]

When my DD was 9, she was getting 31-33 in old L5 in her first year of competition. She looked beautiful in practice but fell on beam at every meet and was really inconsistent on bars. Coaches had her repeat as they wanted her to feel confident. Best move ever for her. She definitely felt more comfortable on the events and went from middle and lower in the pack to scoring 36s. She is now competing L6 (having scored out of old L6) and did really well at both of her first two meets, getting to stand on the podium several times. I feel that she now believes in herself as much as I and her coaches have always believed in her.

 

[iwannacoach]

Take one year and call me in the morning......

Nine years old is pretty young to expect much more than it is what it is. Time will tell if it's a matter of needing more experience, and if it doesn't solve the problem she'll just be that much more experienced and any efforts initiated at that time will get better results.

Looking at the bright side, she's better in training than competition. I'd much rather have it that way than the other way around.

 

[LizzieLac]

Confidence will come with more experience in the competitive environment. But you may want to ask her how she "feels" inside when she is going to compete. I am sure she feels nervous, most do, but then she needs to find some coping mechanisms. Breathing, slowing down, visualizing. I am not sure how, but maybe she needs to find a way (mentally) to make workouts feel a little more high pressure so she can "practice" how to calm herself, developing competition focus, and using visualization techniques.

Good luck to her!!

 

[coachmolly]

Confidence does indeed improve with continued experience for lots of kids, however I don't think just saying "it will come with time" is necessarily the best way to deal with the issue.
In my situation, I was nervous from the get go and was told "it will get better" with minimal attempts by coaches to address the root problem. As a result, the fears and nerves continued to fester and, instead of going away, it grew into a monster that was increasingly harder to control with continued meet experience. And while I'm not saying your child's case is necessarily like that, I don't think it would be a bad idea to mention this issue to the coaches and get their feedback now rather than waiting until 2 or 3 years down the road.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

ok, in most kids it'll get better.

 

[gymgymgymnast08]

It will come. When you aren't nervous at all for meets is when it's a bad thing.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

Well,,,, don't get frustrated for starters. And for sure don't express or show it. (not saying you are, just a general statement)

 

[LIGYMMOM]

Thanks so much for the comments and encouragement! No coachp, I don't show any of that to her, I'm so afraid of adding any pressure that I only tell her that she did a great job. And she does do a great job! But I know she can do better. I've already seen her confidence grow so much inside the gym, I have to believe that it will come at meets as well. Seeker, to answer your question, she talks about being excited before the meet and says she doesn't get nervous until it's her turn. Beam makes me nervous. It's one thing to shake while doing a cartwheel, and a whole other while doing a BWO! Hopefully some of this clears up by L5! Gymmutti, I would not be against her repeating the level if her scores don't improve, but she's a fighter and I know either way she'll do ok. I know that it can do wonders for a kids' confidence to spend some time "at the top" and I'm so glad it did that for your dd! Thanks for the great responses!

 

[wallinbl]

It will come. When you aren't nervous at all for meets is when it's a bad thing.

Unless you're in the zone, because being in the zone is amazing.

 

[dynamicduo]

We're in the same boat, ligy!!! The coach always says "if they could only do what they do in practice at a meet… " I'm hoping it will come soon, but they are doing an extra season to get 5 more meets under their belt to gain confidence in front of the judges/audience!!

 

[balancedmom]

Hi-- I don't know how to link to the discussion I started-- look at "middle of the road gymnast"--but i posted something similar (not exact but) my almost 9 year old is competing L5 and does so much better in the gym than at meets-her coach has said this many times. He thinks it is nerves and that eventually she will get better. She has been scoring 31-32 AA --each meet (she has done 3 at this level) one event is really good, a couple are ok, and one she just falters on. It is as if she does not know how to compete well. I also think she has form issues. We are trying to get her to set individual goals and hope that she doesn't get too frustrated. She loves the sport so much and would be in the gym all the time if we would let her so like you, I hope for her sake she can bring her scores up. I think she can do amazing things and looks beautiful, but obviously i don't want the low scores to discourage her! I hope the same for your daughter.

 

[txgymfan]

JFB,

Here is the link to your thread. Link Removed

 

[LIGYMMOM]

Hi-- I don't know how to link to the discussion I started-- look at "middle of the road gymnast"--but i posted something similar (not exact but) my almost 9 year old is competing L5 and does so much better in the gym than at meets-her coach has said this many times. He thinks it is nerves and that eventually she will get better. She has been scoring 31-32 AA --each meet (she has done 3 at this level) one event is really good, a couple are ok, and one she just falters on. It is as if she does not know how to compete well. I also think she has form issues. We are trying to get her to set individual goals and hope that she doesn't get too frustrated. She loves the sport so much and would be in the gym all the time if we would let her so like you, I hope for her sake she can bring her scores up. I think she can do amazing things and looks beautiful, but obviously i don't want the low scores to discourage her! I hope the same for your daughter.

Thanks jfb, I do remember that thread and just reread some of the encouraging replies. Sounds like our dd's are similar! I'm sure they will both get more confident with competing in time, we have to keep repeating the mantra, it's a marathon not a sprint!