Parents New Gym Mom Advice

[WatchThisMom]

I'm new to the CB though I've been reading comments for a while. Please excuse me if anything I say sounds elementary, I'm still learning and have quite a way to go. I joined specifically so I could get an experienced gym parent perspective on this...a little background is required, so pardon the length!

My dd is 6 and started gymnastics at a gym close to our house about 7 months ago, mainly because one of her friends went there. I did not research or check out other gyms...this one was convenient and she was a beginner. This gym is a recreational gym and does not have a team above level 4. Again, this wasn't a concern when we started.

After about a month, they asked my dd to join their level 1 team. I use the term "team" loosely because I realize that 1-4 don't compete in the true sense, but as this gym is part of a chain, they hold in house meets at the lower levels with their other locations. I believe she was asked to join because she listens well, picked up skills quickly, and she is small for her age (40 lbs and about 3'7"). And probably because, since she has 2 brothers she has no fear (yet). She learned the level 1 routines and skills within 3 weeks and enjoyed the last 2 meets of the season. Now she has the "bug".

At evaluations they moved her to level 3 because they felt she would get bored quickly at 2. She's going twice a week--one day is a 2 hour team practice (8 girls, one fabulous coach) and then one night 1 hour power tumbling (2 coaches, 12-14 girls of many ages). My main concern is that she wants really badly to do more skills--she loves to practice, but where she is, she just doesn't get the attention. In her last tumbling lesson, she only got to attempt her bh 3 or 4 times and she's dying to get it and shes frustrated, as am I given the amount of money I'm spending (and I know it's minimal at this point, but still, I don't feel I'm getting my money's worth).

Here's my dilemma: we are centrally located and so we could easily commute to a gym with a stellar reputation for turning out elites, though I hear they are very picky in their team selections, even at the lower levels. However, I took dd for a trial class and she was only 1 of 4 girls in the advanced class and she was right up there in skill level with the others who were a couple of years older. She LOVED the gym and has been begging me to change her over. For approximately $10 more a month than what I'm paying now, she could take 3 hours advanced class and the gym with a proven track record (no guarantees to make their team of course), but she'd have to give up the 4 or so meets that her other team would have done. This doesn't seem to matter to her. In her trial class she got to try doing a bwo on the floor beam several times with a spot and her bh multiple times, all within the one class.

Now that I see this in writing, it seems like a no brainer, but I just want to know that I'm doing the right thing (but do we ever KNOW really?). I know the chances of her becoming some gymnastics prodigy are slim and I'm not even sure that's the life I would want for her even if she did have the talent. But there is just something inside me that says if there is a chance that she could do something she loved and be good at it, I want to give her that opportunity to develop and find out. But I'm really struggling with whether we should take this leapbecause it's outside my comfort zone. I don't want to choose her course for her, but I don't want her to ever look back and wish I'd given her a chance...parenting, what a struggle!!

What would you do if it were you? Money and distance aren't a factor at this point. I simply don't know anyone "on the inside" to ask.

Sorry for the novel! I'll await your expert advice!!!

Thanks!!

 

[justanothergymmom]

If she loves gymnastics and is willing to switch you should move her to the other gym now...especially if her current gym only goes up to L4. She will have to switch quite soon anyway-especially if she is already a L3. Give up the 4 or so meets and don't feel bad about it

 

[gym law mom]

Since you're at a gym that only does really rec levels an little in house meets, you would probably be looking for a new gym soon anyway. Might as well make the change while she's pretty young and can get started in this other gym's system. Make sure she knows there is no guarantee she'll make team the 1st time around and is ok with just pre-team type practice for the year. If she's fine with that, then I would say go for it.

Actually having a year to get used to a new gym without dd on team is a nice way to ease into things. You can get to know other parents, get info on the booster club if they have one and the ins/outs of how the team program runs.

Have fun with it and GL to both of you.

 

[WatchThisMom]

I guess my hesitancy comes from the fact that I didn't expect her to like it so much or show such a proclivity for it. This was not planned (which, now that I think about it, might be the key--this is HERS). As a 6 yo, shouldn't she be a little more fickle??! I'm a little disturbed by what it might mean if she actually is good at this. It's like a whole new world...but I think I agree. She wants to go, and we'd likely have to move soon anyway. I actually was leaning this direction too because one of the classes I will put her in actually doesn't have anyone else in it yet--so for at least a few weeks, it might be like a private or semi -private lesson for her. Who knows what she might be able to do after that!

Thanks for the support...and I'm sure I'll have questions in the future!

 

[justanothergymmom]

I guess my hesitancy comes from the fact that I didn't expect her to like it so much or show such a proclivity for it. This was not planned (which, now that I think about it, might be the key--this is HERS). As a 6 yo, shouldn't she be a little more fickle??! I'm a little disturbed by what it might mean if she actually is good at this. It's like a whole new world...

I never expected my oldest to love it so much either-I just signed her up at age 3 to help her get out the extra energy (that, and she tried to do a back-handspring by herself one day while watching gymnastics on TV-LOL!) Just take it one day at a time Good luck!

 

[UnoMas]

I didn't expect her to like it so much or show such a proclivity for it. This was not planned

Hi and welcome. My 9 year old also started as a 6 year old in a once a week rec class, and since then she has never looked back, wanted to do anything else, OR even miss a day of practice. My 6 year old started in a 3 yr old rec class because her sister was trying a class. Now she too does not want to do anything else, miss a practice, or even THINK about missing gym.

My daughters are level 4 and level 5 now, and while they are certainly not super-talented or bound for greatness, they are both doing well at competing and absolutely loving gym.

So, for us, nothing was planned either, and for us, their love of the sport is the most important thing. Being "good" at gym does not necessarily mean the path to elite, or greatness. Don't look too far ahead at this point. It sounds like in the near future, a gym switch will be in order just to get your daughter above level 4. If she likes the gym and wants to move on past level 4, then it seems like the best plan. Good luck to you and your daughter!

 

[gymmomof1]

Hi WatchThisMom, welcome to the CB and this sport of being a parent to a gymnast. Yes I have walked in your shoes as my gymmie started this path after a gym party when she was 2 1/2. At her first gym they just started a L4 team with her group and we parents had know idea what we were in for since there were no seasoned parents there. After states she wanted to move to a gym that had more so she tried out at several gyms and went with the one wherer she really like the coaches and girls . It was a tough decision as she was close with her team mates and I had gotten close with the other moms and coach there but it was the right move as Liv has progressed nicely and is very happy . Wish you the best and look forward to your posts.

 

[cher062]

Welcome to the CB. Don't worry about elementry questions we have all been there and that is why this board works so well.

She loves the new gym you love the new gym and their program she wants to continue down the team track, your old gym doesn't really support a team program - so what is there to consider?? I would switch her but the only reservation I would have is to talk to the new gym and see what they say about her being put on a team or her chances of becoming part of their team. You can have that discussion prior to joining so you can get a feel for how their coaches see her chances of making their team.

If you are going to consider change gyms then don't limit yourself to this one other gym if there are other gyms around that have team program. She may fit better in a program that isn't Elite tracked. Give a few gyms a try and see where she will fit best.

Good luck.

 

[WatchThisMom]

Welcome to the CB. Don't worry about elementry questions we have all been there and that is why this board works so well.

She loves the new gym you love the new gym and their program she wants to continue down the team track, your old gym doesn't really support a team program - so what is there to consider?? I would switch her but the only reservation I would have is to talk to the new gym and see what they say about her being put on a team or her chances of becoming part of their team. You can have that discussion prior to joining so you can get a feel for how their coaches see her chances of making their team.

If you are going to consider change gyms then don't limit yourself to this one other gym if there are other gyms around that have team program. She may fit better in a program that isn't Elite tracked. Give a few gyms a try and see where she will fit best.

Good luck.

Funny you should say that--as I read what I was typing I thought, "why even ask this?" The answer sometimes seems so clear when you see the question in black and white. I've decided my fear is a little premature at this point. She's 6 and its just a couple of classes. It's not as if I'm deciding to send her off to train somewhere. I think I'm just a little spooked by some of the gymnastics horror stories I've heard. What's really humorous is, I've been navigating the waters on highly competitive sports for several
years now--my boys play select baseball. And though the training isn't the same, there are politics to contend with. But I know that game...gymnastics is foreign to me. My bottom line is, I want my dd to have the chance to do things she enjoys. I am a big believer in competition and the life lessons that are learned on the field, on the court, in the gym. Responsibility. Work ethic. Achievement. Success. And most of all, failure. I think sports are a metaphor for life in many ways--and while not everyone can be an elite athlete, there is a place in sports for those who do it for the sheer enjoyment and the thrill of improving day by day into someone you only imagined you could become. It's a bit whimsical--but how can you ever know what you are meant to be if you don't ever try? Wow. I just got way too philosophical, didn't I? Bottom line, dd loves it today and she has a knack for it. So I guess I'll sit back, relax, and remind her to be the best "her" that she can be. It will be a fun ride! And it sounds like I'll meet some pretty neat people along the way...

By the way, I've heard the gymnasts from this gym have solid basics and that it is extremely difficult to make their team. However, my thought is that if they are that good, she should be able to go elsewhere and find a team if they don't have a place for her...maybe they'd even help us find a home for her when shes ready. Is this likely?

 

[Megley]

I think you definitely should make the move if she seems to have a desire to make team. The best thing you can do for her is to put her in a good program and step back and let the gym and your dd do their thing! I wouldn't count on the gym helping you find another gym should she not make their team, but that is not something to be immediately worried about. From what you describe, she seems like team material anyway so it may never be an issue.

My dd started gym at age 4 and by age 5.5 had been put on the Level 4 team. She's now a Level 7. This is just a warning that you can get sucked in very very quickly so look out!! Chalkbucket is an awesome resource and the people here are really helpful, have been through it themselves, and a lot of them have the experience and wisdom of many years in the sport to impart. Good luck to you and your dd! I look forward to hearing more about her progress.

 

[cher062]

By the way, I've heard the gymnasts from this gym have solid basics and that it is extremely difficult to make their team. However, my thought is that if they are that good, she should be able to go elsewhere and find a team if they don't have a place for her...maybe they'd even help us find a home for her when shes ready. Is this likely?

the basics are very important. I know of the "competitive type" gyms and yes the coaches can be helpful finding a better team fit if they don't pick you for their team but I don't know how common that is. I know when we moved this summer from our highly competitive gym they didn't help at all but one of her old coaches who doesn't work there anymore heard what happened to us and made a few suggestions that she thought would work great for my DD. She suggested her gym of course but then 2 others she knew would fit her and she was right. Our new gym fits her so well.

 

[WatchThisMom]

I am already sucked in and it's a little scary! I don't want to come off as a psycho mom who thinks her kid is the greatest or something. I just want her to learn things the right way so that we can minimize injuries--that's actually my greatest fear. But that seems silly when you look at the fact that both of my boys play football and I don't obsess about that. I have the ability to put her with seasoned coaches without draining my budget or driving more than 15 minutes. I feel lucky considering what some people apparently do for this sport.

It's funny, she asked me again last night (about the 10th time since she did the trial class Saturday
morning) if I'd made the change, and I said, "Now you know that you will not be going with Susie anymore, and that it might be a really long time before you're ready for team again?" and she thought for a moment and said, "That's okay. I think it will be worth it. I will learn a lot more."

Since when is a 6 year old so logical?

I am loving the CB. I've had so many questions and no one to ask! Its so good to realize you're not alone.

 

[Bella's Mom]

I am already sucked in and it's a little scary! I don't want to come off as a psycho mom who thinks her kid is the greatest or something.

Wait.....aren't we ALL psycho moms who think our kids are the greatest???

 

[WatchThisMom]

What a great place the CB is! Sound advice AND a sense of humor. Gotta love it!

By the way, per the consensus, I signed dd up with the new gym today. I told her after school and she jumped up and down, clapped and proceeded to do cartwheels across the living room...Now she will big me until we start! Thanks for the advice...I'll be sure to keep you posted on how we like it!

 

[Optionals United]

Good luck at the new gym!!! We want to hear all about it after the first day.

 

[Panda-girl's Mom]

Good Luck to your daughter. She seems very motivated and she seems to be really liking gymnastics at such a young age who knows where it will take her. I think you made the right decision I am sure that alot of 6 years old would rather be with their friends from the old gym. She seems to really know what she wants. I know you hear all sorts of stories about crazy gymnastics parents but I found the majority are very nice and supportive. There are always a few crazies in every sport.

 

[WatchThisMom]

I know you hear all sorts of stories about crazy gymnastics parents but I found the majority are very nice and supportive. There are always a few crazies in every sport.

I know that's the truth. There are overzealous parents in every aspect of life when it comes to children. I'll keep that in mind.

I have another few questions...I heard somewhere that Little Girls in Pretty Boxes should be required reading for anyone considering putting their daughter in competitive gymnastics...so I read it and it really scared my socks off. I know it's an old book--but have things really changed that much? I mean, I was looking at the Coaches Forum and reading opinions about discussing weight and it sounds like now the pendulum has swung in the extreme opposite direction to where coaches would NEVER discuss weight with their gymnasts. Was the backlash so big that parents just put their foot down and insisted that the abuse stop?

I've only been a casual observer over the years--I know who the Karolyi's are, who our big name gymnasts have been (Olympians only, really)--but I know next to nothing about the inside gymnastics world. Are our elites really trained through encouragement now? Are they well fed but with good nutritious foods? Are eating disorders still rampant? Just curious. The weight issue and the berating of the athletes were the hardest for me to read. I don't believe I could allow anyone to call my dd names, any names, even if it did mean losing the shot at the Olympics. I guess you never know what you'd do until you're in the situation yourself, but I would hope that the defense of my daughter would take precedence, regardless of how much time and money I had sacrificed. I found it hard to get into those parents' heads--to imagine what would make them allow it to continue. I want to think that today our gymnasts are healthy, not starved, and strong through training. I see online that a lot of gymnasts sit out now with injuries, so hopefully they're no longer encouraged to train through major ones and are allowed to rest/heal? I don't mean minor injuries...all athletes suck it up and train in pain sometimes--but not with broken backs, etc. Just looking for info. That book is pretty one sided. Makes gymnastics seem like a bloodsport. I'm intelligent enough to know that the author had an agenda and that there are three sides to every story, but it was still alarming...

 

[lilgymmie7]

I know that's the truth. There are overzealous parents in every aspect of life when it comes to children. I'll keep that in mind.
I don't believe I could allow anyone to call my dd names, any names, even if it did mean losing the shot at the Olympics. I guess you never know what you'd do until you're in the situation yourself, but I would hope that the defense of my daughter would take precedence, regardless of how much time and money I had sacrificed. I found it hard to get into those parents' heads--to imagine what would make them allow it to continue. I want to think that today our gymnasts are healthy, not starved, and strong through training. I see online that a lot of gymnasts sit out now with injuries, so hopefully they're no longer encouraged to train through major ones and are allowed to rest/heal? I don't mean minor injuries...all athletes suck it up and train in pain sometimes--but not with broken backs, etc. Just looking for info. That book is pretty one sided. Makes gymnastics seem like a bloodsport. I'm intelligent enough to know that the author had an agenda and that there are three sides to every story, but it was still alarming...

Keep your clear thoughts throughout your DD's journey. I don't think any parent ever thinks of themselves as ever being or allowing themselves to get so crazed as these "crazies" become. I do think something inside them may snap. They themselves may have unresolved personal issues of their own. They then take their child's successes and make them their own.
I have vowed to take a conscience effort to support my children's talents, but keep it as that, their own talents. I want my children to grow up loving, responsible, and giving adults. Their talents will help get them there. Their sport, gymnastics, wrestling, football, or whatever will be in their lives for a short while. It is truthfully a tool to help them age gracefully. These are just my thoughts.

 

[kamgymmom]

With money and distance not factoring in..I would go for it..for all the reasons already stated. Mine started in a preschool class at 20 months to get out her energy..she's about to turn 9 and still going strong. I'd always said we'll continue until she decides she's ready to quit..she's not ONCE expressed a desire to back off AT ALL! Once the bug bites..it can really take hold! I'm envious that you are in such a great location to be able to choose from different gyms..what a luxury! Good luck with whatever you decide and will also be looking forward to hearing more!

 

[WatchThisMom]

***Wow, this got much longer than I intended. Sorry, but i hope you can stay awake for it!***
I've been a member here for an entire 48 hours tops and I believe that even if dd quit tomorrow I'd likely hang around just to listen to the lively and amazingly civil discussions that go on here! I think I'm addicted. (I used to read comments on Yahoo articles--but those get downright crazy, this site is much more sane--so good job to the moderators for keeping it pleasant.)

I want to make a couple of points that I think make sense (but I may be delusional--if so set me straight). I think I have a small advantage over other new gym moms in that I have 2 boys playing what I suggest to you would be the equivalent of L7-8 baseball if evaluated on the USAG scale. Hear me out on this and let me know if anyone has made this kind of logical leap here before...I'm honestly curious and love a good, clean debate. And the best part, I don't think I'm always right! LOL

Here is my assessment:

Major League Baseball = elite to Olympic level gymnastics (I submit that Olympics = actually playing in the World Series in the MLB. If it were a one time chance. Every four years.). ;o)
NCAA D1 baseball = L10
Major Level Club Baseball (high school age) = L9
Major Level Club Baseball (pre high school age) = L7-8
Its hard to classify below this because there are so many different divisions because baseball is (and should be) accessible to everyone, just like gymnastics.

I would love to hear responses to my musings. Especially if you think I'm nuts to compare the two. I'm transitioning my mindset--this is my challenge.

Anyway, my point is, millions of little boys dream of playing in he MLB (my ds's among them), but only few make it. The key is that SOME DO. My message is clear... that they must set short term, long term, and stretch goals and decide how much work they are willing to do to accomplish them--even when the world says "you'll never make it." My job, as Mom, is to temper those goals with a gentle touch of reality as I think necessary. I am wiser than they are and if I have young men who feel like failures if their dreams do not come to fruition (i.e., early 20s and not MLB players), then I have failed THEM. I have NEVER told either of my ds's that they will not make it, that it is impossible. I don't know that. No one does. What I do tell them is that they should train hard, shoot for the stars, and ALWAYS, ALWAYS rember their "back up plan." If you're injured and your career is over in high school, in college, after 1 year in the minors, what will you do? Have it. Know it. Stick to it even when you're almost to the top. Thats when it's easiest to think success is guaranteed--there ARE NO guarantees. A college degree to help get a non-athletic performance related job is essential. We all agree on this in our family.

What I do know is that my oldest has a work ethic like mine--he will undoubtedly stretch every inch of his talent as far as his heart will allow. Will that be enough? Only time will tell. But I will take him to practice, cheer him on, help him improve, and layer his challenges with wisdom along the way. My middle ds has raw talent, power, charisma, and athletic ability. But since he's the biggest, strongest, and things come easily, his work ethic is lacking. We will see how that develops as he gets older and the ones with heart catch up (and they will, they always do). Again...I will continue to support him until he decides its over.

I ADORE baseball. I played NCAA D1 softball myself and was mediocre, but had so much heart that I made it when more gifted players did not. But the day they realize they no longer LOVE the game is the day I have told them to walk away and never look back. Would I be disappointed? Heck yeah! I love to watch them, my best friends are moms in the stands--that's social hour for me. But at the expense of forcing them to put in 20 hours a week of baseball nearly year round? It would be unfair and unjust of me to put it on their shoulders, regardless of the amount of money I have spent or what their future prospects may be. Would I have any regrets if they walked away? NONE. I would make sure to educate them of what THEY might regret if they walked away, but I would let them decide. I had my life--this one is theirs to live.

Baseball (and I'm sure this crowd would argue gymnastics as well, and likely a whole range of activities for that matter) teach our children real life lessons that cannot be taught via other methods. Practice. Hard work. Responsibility. Courage under pressure. Sacrifice. Organizational skills. Prioritization. And to quote ABC's Wide World of Sports, "The thrill of victory, and he agony of defeat." I've been on both sides of the lines--its hard to decide which is the highest high--winning yourself, or watching your child not just win, but develop and grow and become he best they can be. I don't know if a nonparent can understand it fully, but I do x 3. There's nothing like it. Let's face it, most sports careers are temporary--some more so than others--but they are a metaphor for life--their lessons translate directly to life, jobs, and parenthood. This is why my time and money are spent on athletics.

I've been on the field at a high level--the pitchers mound is a pressure cooker. But so is life. And you can step up and be the hero or the zero-but at the end of the game, and this is uttered in our house thousands of times, if you gave every bit of your heart while on that field (or court or apparati), if you know in your mind that you prepared and you gave your all and yet you lose, you've still won. You may leave disappointed and broken hearted, but you leave with no regrets, no what ifs. And in my opinion, a life with no regrets is the best success there is.

So what is my point? Wow...I got a little lost....

My #1 point was to contribute my experience since I'm new here in case
someone else can learn from me. I may not know gymnastics, but we all have a common bond and our experiences in other sports do have similarities. I wanted to establish that we all can learn from each other, sometimes even more so when we disagree.

My second point is, I think if you know these tough decisions may someday come (do we pay this much? Do we uproot the family? Do we split? Do we play with pain? Do we train 40 hours a week?) and you decide ahead of time how to handle them, them, maybe you can avoid being sucked in by an abusive coach, false promises, guarantees...because if you decide when your vision is clouded by your child's dreams, the proper path is hard to see...and "proper" depends on circumstance is unique to each child and family.

I have no clue where this path will lead with dd. But we start the new gym next week. In fact, one of the classes is new and has no one else enrolled yet, so it could be a virtual
private lesson for a while. I feel we are definitely blessed to have choices and live so near that our sacrifices might be lessened. And I'm really excited to have this forum to share our journey, crazy as it may be!

Thank you for listening to my rambling!!! I look forward to hearing your opinions!