Parents Newbie with 5yo - What Can I Expect?

[John]

You are right, I should proof read.

 

[SMH]

I 100% agree with finding a gym that fits your family. Just because it's an elite gym does not make it the best fit for you. I think sometimes there is this attitude that gymnasts should be lucky to be trained at xyz so they should just take what they get. Gym shop if you need to and find somewhere that's a good fit- it gets a lot harder to switch as your kiddo gets further into team.

 

[GYM0M]

You have exactly proven my point. We were doing exactly what we were supposed to be doing, as had been communicated to us from the beginning. My DH and I are smart, observant people who want to do the right thing. But we aren't telepathic. If there was a different process, on one particular day, that could have been communicated. I communicate DDs absences to the coaching staff. Why can't they communicate with me?

The fact that the gym and you in this response seem to think that we should have just been able to intuit the right thing to do is illustrative of the cultural problem I'm talking about.

My daughter has been reprimanded for taking off across the gym floor by herself before (which ended in a meltdown. At which point the coach threatened to pull her out of the class on the first day. Again, before DD knew how it was supposed to go and what was expected of her). Why would I assume the right thing to do is to send her back wandering around looking for a class and a coach with whom she is totally unfamiliar? That makes no sense.

First, this particular case is in no way illustrative of the cultural problem. I'm not saying there isn't a cultural problem, but what you are describing isn't the least bit indicative, imo, of the cultural issues mentioned or described in other threads. It was a small oversight that doesn't necessarily reflect your gym's overall communication with their patrons, but instead only shows a lack of intra-personnel communication on that day. Someone just forgot to tell the person that should have told you OR the regular coach forgot to tell the coach that was filling in for her where to pick up her class or something similar. I highly doubt there's more to it than that.
You seem very much Type A. I am too. Very process oriented, keen on minute details, wants to know ALL the ins & outs. And in all honesty, it's not too much to ask, BUT all too often, parents get too caught up in their child's progression, like a status quo, and while they may meet all the criteria on paper, they just aren't ready for the progressions that these kinds of parents demand. Sometimes it goes the other way too, a gymnast might not meet the criteria outlined, but is moved up anyway, for whatever reason. To these parents, this will be seen as unfair and a result of the coach's dislike of their child or favoritism of the other, when it may or may not be related. Many a seasoned gyms have been there and done that with these types of instances and have concluded that the best way to avoid these situations is to not try to outline the criteria at all. The way it works in our gym is you move up when the coaches feel you are ready to move up.

 

[FutureGirls]

Are you and I the same person? Lol! This is so EXACTLY my experience. Went from a well known elite gym, to a place where my daughter has flourished and gets 20 times as much attention and coaching as she did before. Communication at the new gym is beyond what I could have ever expected. They say hi to me every day (I don't even think DD's old coaches knew my first name) they occasionally come and sit next to me at pick up time and talk about her progress, share her praises with me, etc.
At the old gym they basically said "no news is good news, if we need to talk with you, we will...don't ask us questions about your gymnast"
(Which is why luckily for me, I had a friend at the gym who had a child on team before DD joined and she was able to give me the training and pricing info...which was NOT something I could have easily gotten from the gym, even when she was on pre-team)

 

[Committed]

First, this particular case is in no way illustrative of the cultural problem. I'm not saying there isn't a cultural problem, but what you are describing isn't the least bit indicative, imo, of the cultural issues mentioned or described in other threads. It was a small oversight that doesn't necessarily reflect your gym's overall communication with their patrons, but instead only shows a lack of intra-personnel communication on that day. Someone just forgot to tell the person that should have told you OR the regular coach forgot to tell the coach that was filling in for her where to pick up her class or something similar. I highly doubt there's more to it than that.
You seem very much Type A. I am too. Very process oriented, keen on minute details, wants to know ALL the ins & outs. And in all honesty, it's not too much to ask, BUT all too often, parents get too caught up in their child's progression, like a status quo, and while they may meet all the criteria on paper, they just aren't ready for the progressions that these kinds of parents demand. Sometimes it goes the other way too, a gymnast might not meet the criteria outlined, but is moved up anyway, for whatever reason. To these parents, this will be seen as unfair and a result of the coach's dislike of their child or favoritism of the other, when it may or may not be related. Many a seasoned gyms have been there and done that with these types of instances and have concluded that the best way to avoid these situations is to not try to outline the criteria at all. The way it works in our gym is you move up when the coaches feel you are ready to move up.

I second this.
Some of us do as much research as possible in the very beginning so that we can make informed decisions and understand what may be coming in the future.
Your DD is on a pre pre team. There's nothing standard that you can go by expect that if you all stay in the sport, you will spend lots of time and money!!
As for progression, no, you can't even say most kids do a level a year. For instance, here were a few girls who were on preteam with my DD. For the girls who made team at the same time:

Many quit.
A couple are going to compete level 4.
A few are training level 7 or 8
DD is training level 9.

Sure she has stayed with many of the same girls throughout her journey, but they didn't all start out at the same place (definitely not from pretense, more like level 4). It's fluid.

As for a lot of your questions, you gotta ask your own gym. They're all run differently.

 

[raenndrops]

So here's the deal.... the examples you've given are both age based programs, but comp gym is not. There are no hard and fast rules, & all programs are different. Also the sport is quite subjective, and individualized. What works for one, might not work for all. Unfortunately, many gyms choose not to publish policies bc there are always exceptions. Definitive timelines also do not work out well.... I understand the innate need to want to plan ahead, it just doesn't always go according to plan.

I was going to say something similar, but in our area, softball starts with t-ball ages 5-6, but they get 5 pitches from the coach (fast pitch style from the start) before the tee is brought out. Then there is coach pitch from 6-8... also fast pitch. They have all stars at this level. Then they have 3 levels of kid pitch based more on skill than age after the start. A, B, and C leagues are roughly 8-11, 10-13, and 12-15. Along the way, girls leave for more serious travel ball or compete both. It works for our area to have several years of the high school team being state champions.
So, buying a manual about softball as mentioned, would be wrong for this area.
Every area (and every gym) has its own unique path.... I am at a YMCA gym and I know for a fact that we run our program differently than the YMCAs that we compete against regularly.
One gym regularly has girls scratch an event at the beginning of the season if it isn't 100% solid. Another let's them compete and spots the skills when necessary. Yet another has them leave out the skill.
Two of the teams have legit "pre-team" programs. Another one has their basic rec classes and a separate JO rec track for girls that may want to compete in the future.
One gym moves them up every year as long as they made the minimum required score. Most have a set of required skills they have to have to move up, and one requires them to have all their skills for the new level by August to move up.
Some will allow mid-season move ups and some won't.
We even have one now that also competes in club meets and moves girls up as they see fit, sometimes 2 levels in a season.

The only way to know about how a specific gym does it is to ask.