Women No Mock Meet

[egym]

So I don't train on Wednesdays but the mock meet is on Wendesday and the HC was saying because you don't pay for Wendesdays you can't train on Wednesdays. HOW AM I GOING TO GET OVER MY NERVES FOR COMP IF I CAN'T GO TO THE MOCK MEET??????? HELP PLSSSS

 

[HopefulGymnast]

I've commented on your "vent" thread about this shortly already, but here I will just give some general advise about nerves etc:

- Why do you feel you need the mock meet? I assume you already practise your full routines in training and get feedback?

- Do you normally get nervous in meets? Do you have strategies for that?

- Are you more worried about the meet or really just more frustrated that others get to go to the mock meet and you don't?

I think a mock meet can be fun and helpful, but plenty of people compete without holding a mock meet. If you have specific worries about your nerves, please share them here and I'm sure people can share strategies for dealing with fears and nerves.

 

[egym]

No so baicley there is this one gymnast that takes away from the coach and so every practice she talks and talks and talks and it never ends so I never get feed back on my routene

 

[HopefulGymnast]

I think the issue in that case isn't the mock meet, but the coaching itself, especially when combined with your other post.
Have you communicated this to your coach, that you want more feedback? If so, how do they respond?

As for the upcoming meet, do you maybe have gym friends who can look at your routine if the coach won't, so you at least feel a bit prepared and supported? That's not a good long term solution, but for the time being.

I really am starting to get the idea, combined with the other post, that you're not in a good place with the coaching on your team. I think it's a good idea to address this. Again, can you talk to your parents about this? Are you going to be on this team for a long time with this coach? I think it's best to continue this conversation in your "vent" post though, else we're having two conversations at once about the same thing (one here and one in the vent post).

 

[egym]

Yes she said that she wasnt favoring and that i was just being dratamic

 

[NutterButter]

Yes she said that she wasnt favoring and that i was just being dratamic

I say this with utmost sincerity and this is the advice I would give my children so with that please keep an open mind. Your two posts on this topic come across as very dramatic. I'm talking about your use of all caps (I'm sure you know this is considered shouting) and incomplete sentences.

Have you considered tactfully talking to the coach something along the lines of 'Hey coach, I don't know if you know this about me or not but I struggle with nerves before meets. I think it would be very helpful to me to participate in the mock meet as this closely simulates the experience of a real meet. Would you be willing to make an exception so that I can participate? I realize I no longer train on Wednesdays but could I pay extra for the opportunity? I think the mock meet will help me so much! Also, please let me know if you have any other tips for dealing with meet nerves." Your answer may very well be 'no'. And that's OK because you've tactfully advocated for yourself.

When talking to your coach, don't mention other athletes. Don't suggest or accuse them of favoritism. If you want the coach to provide you with feedback, say that but don't bring others into the mix. All you are going to do is make the coach defensive.

Don't be afraid to involve your parents. They should have your back with communicating with the coach. This meant different things with my daughter...sometimes I went with her to meetings with her coach, sometimes she cc'd me on an email. Sometimes I followed up with the coach after she spoke to them and sometimes I left her out of it all together and met with the coach and owner alone (this was a pretty extreme situation but it did happen more than once).

Finally, if you receive news you don't like or weren't expecting wait 24 hours or at least overnight to respond. Take that time to analyze *why* you feel wronged or hurt and what a specific solution is to help your situation. Ask yourself - is participating in the mock meet for you truly about nerves or do you feel left out.

 

[HopefulGymnast]

In all honesty, I can get where you both are coming from.

I'll be brutally honest, and hopefully this will help you:

In my opinion, from the way you describe it, your coach is not creating a good environment for you. It could be that they don't realise how their comments come across, it could be that the way you're describing it is different from what they meant, it could be that they're just not great at communicating or just not a good coach for you. All athletes should get feedback on their routines, when an a gymnast is upset over falling or a stressful training you don't say "not that big of a deal", and you never say a gymnast is just being dramatic when they try to discuss how they feel about something.

That being said, I've mentioned before that I don't know your age. Based on your writing, I assume 8-14 years old, probably 13 because I think that's the minimum chalkbucket age. The point being, you seem to have some trouble communicating in writing and do kind of come across immature (sorry). And we don't know if this is also how you communicate in the gym. Some tips:
- When people ask multiple questions, it helps if you reply to all questions.
- If you want to come across mature and reasonable, use full sentences with punctuation and no caps lock.

I think we can't see how things exactly go down. It makes a difference wether you yell at the coach "You're a bad coach you're always talking to X" or wether you say "I feel like I'm never giving feedback, could you maybe try to give more time for this". However, either way you're clearly not happy with how things are and something needs to happen. I agree with nutterbutter partly because of how you come across, but the things as you describe them are also not okay.

Solution: If you can, talk to your parents about this. They can help communicate your issues to your coach. Maybe sit down and think for a while, what are your issues in the gym with things going on, how do they make you feel? If you express things as "I feel ...." that can help a lot. If you try this and you still feel not well treated, you may want to look at if this is the place for you to be. In the end if doesn't matter whose fault it is, you need to feel respected, and if you don't, something needs to change.

Also, before anything, as nutterbutter said: give it a day to calm down and see how you feel about everything. If you're still seeing things the same, please talk to somebody because you come across as feeling very unsupported.

PS. If you have trouble talking because you're upset or it's scary, you can also show your parents these posts if you prefer. I