Not a gym lover but....

[Gymnastdad]

Hi,

Name is Colin, and have come to this forum more under out of desperation than anything else, as I know very little about this sport which is wrong given the large amount of time it takes of our lives. I have an 8 year old daughter on the "elite" path who has been "doing gym" since 3 and

***WARNING***

I HATE gymnastics. I'm sorry it won't be a popular view here, but that is my opinion. I hate the way it doesn't add too, but takes away from my daughters childhood, the way it seems to have greater importance than her education, comes above sleepovers/friends, and just being a kid. I hate the competitive moms (and dads!), the ENDLESS journeys to gym, the waiting around, the expense, the tears, the carrying her out of the car asleep, the coaches who are on a power trip, but she is my daughter she she loves it so not my place to force her to give up.

TBH I had never heard of this forum before, am not here to upset anyone but think it will give me a chance to clear up a few questions which the "Gods" that are the coaches don't feel they have the time to discuss with me over my daughter, and a few other issues which are a little too delicate to discuss with them face to face.

 

[grizzoline]

I love you already

I think it's gonna be great for you to be here. Just to see another side of things, and, seeing that your daughter seems to love it, you'll just have to accept it as part of your live.

I totally agree with you on many of the things - I know I love gym and I sacrifice a lot for it. But I'm 22, I made a choice I was ready to make. I don't to the hours that they do, but I still aim at 4 days a week on top of uni / work. With children it's hard to judge if they know what they're getting themselves into, what it could be like. So, for someone who doesn't know how great the sport can be, how great it feels, to be up on that beam, just standing gracefully, it's easy to hate it.

Either way, welcome, and I'm looking forward to some nice discussions among you and some more involved parents

 

[gymmomntc2e6]

Hi and welcome to CB !! It sounds like you have a talented DD on your hands. There really is a great group of parents, coaches, gymnasts & judges here that I am certain will do their best to help you along your journey !!

Let me just say that my husband could have written your post ( except the elite track LOL ). He hates that she is at the gym 3 days a week, hates sitting through meets ( enjoys watching her and is VERY proud of her don't het me wrong - just the warm ups, everyone else, long awards etc). But like you stated, she loves it and for now, it is her thing. I must say it has done wonders for my DD's self esteem and confidence.

I wish you and your DD the best in your journey and cannot wait to hear all about her. And ii think you are wrong, I think you will be popular here and your thoughts and opinions will be valued.

 

[bogwoppit]

Hey Colin,

You certainly enetertained me. I think you'll fit in great here, many of the issues you have spoken of get talked about a lot here.

I wonder who you are irked by? Because of course it is the parents who decide what their kids do. All of the things that make you unhappy could be changed in a heart beat. So right back at you. What is it about gymnastics that you allow you child to continue when you dislike so much about what it does to her/your life?

Of course I have girls in the gym and along the way I have made many choices about them being there. The number of hours, the fact that education will always come first, no matter what. The fact that I like their coach. but I make the decisions after she's given the options, if I don't like the options of course I still have choices.

I have an inkling that this is not just about the coaches. Illuminate me.

Glad to have you join us, we haven't had a good topic to talk about in a bit. We have lots of great gym parents here, from all ends of the spectrum of gym, rec gymnasts and way up there gymnasts. SO I am sure you will get a lot of input.

 

[Aussie_coach]

Hi, sounds like you are a great Dad, supporting your daughter in a sport that she loves even if you don't enjoy it.

Its sad that the gym you are at has caused this negativity but not all gyms do. You should have the right to ask questions and your questions be answered honestly. Not all coaches see themselves as God's. Hopefully not even most coaches.

 

[MdGymMom01]

Welcome to the CB!!!! I love your honesty and I also feel that you will bring a lot to this forum from your experience. There are many different parents here and many different levels of gymnasts from the very beginner rec gymnast to the elites.

My daughter did all star cheer from ages 6-9 and boy was that experience an eye-opener!!! She wanted a break and wanted to try something new so we switched to gymnastics when she was 9 and we have been doing this Mason Dixon League for 2 years now (she just turned 11 years old). Her and I both love it!!! It is somewhat less competitive than USAG and the training hours are limited (7-10 hrs/wk) for all optional levels. My dd right now is Level A which is considered Level 5 USAG, but the routines are like optionals where they have the flexibility to choreograph their own routines. They only compete 6 times a year and they are all local meets (the farthest one is about a 2 hr drive).

I love the fact that she can still do gymnastics and compete but she still has plenty of time to enjoy other activities and just chill out as a kid should.

Hope you enjoy the CB!!!

 

[gymnut1]

Welcome. Most of us here love gymnastics but another point of view is a great addition to our discussions. Lots of people have mentioned the same concerns as you so you do have lots of common ground with folks here. Great that you have been so brave and come to join our CB family.

Bring it on! Maybe your views will make us take a reality check sometimes. So maybe you are more than welcome maybe you are NEEDED too LOL. Quite a few of us are coaches, some like me are coaches and parents so hopefully we can help with your questions. We are from all over the world too so we are all learning about each others gymnastics systems all the time.

 

[gymnastgirlz10]

welcomee,! i'm pretty new as well

i am a gymnast who is on the same path as your daughter. i have given up ATON of my social life to gymnastics and my dad does not think that i should be doing this.
he believes that i should be a normal kid and have fun like all my other friends!
he sat me down one day and told me how he felt saying how he is still very proud of me and all that i have acomplished but he believes meets are boring and he is afraid of me getting seriously injured to where i need surgery( again).
he also told me that he loved me and he will be with me and cheer me on every step of the way.

 

[gym monkeys mom]

Welcome to CB you will find much support here and other dads for good for you.

I will be honest I have a love/dislike realtionship with gymnastics. It does take an incredible amount of time out of DD and our family life.

This however is the journey my DD has chosen take and we as her family will help her along the path. Parents and sisters are good people to remind gymnasts that there is more to life that the gym

In the end of it all her dad and I decide what is important and what is not and sometimes we tell her and her coaches nope that won't work sorry.

As she gets older because my DD is 14 she must decide sometimes what is important and what is not and live with the choice she has made. This is what we do in life is it not??


Best wishes to you and your family on your gym journey.

Let us know what you want to discuss and vent about we are all here for you.

 

[AlexsGymmyMom]

Welcome to CB. Your post really got my attention. It will be great to have a different perspective about gymnastics. I think it is awesome that you are supporting your DD in something she loves even if you don't. My DH does not care for gymnastics much either (he likes to watch Alex but not sit through all the meets and awards and warm-ups) but he does support her in the sport anyway! and is very proud of her accomplishments thus far!

 

[Geoffrey Taucer]

Hi, sounds like you are a great Dad, supporting your daughter in a sport that she loves even if you don't enjoy it.

Its sad that the gym you are at has caused this negativity but not all gyms do. You should have the right to ask questions and your questions be answered honestly. Not all coaches see themselves as God's. Hopefully not even most coaches.

Concurred.


Welcome.

 

[gymcoach26]

Welcome to CB! I just wanted to say say 2 things.. first it seems like you are a great dad by being so concerned for your DD and supporting her even if the sport is something you do not enjoy.
Secondly, I'm sorry her coaches are the way you described. Hopfully you know this is not the case with all coaches or all gyms. I think you'll find plenty of coaches here who will be willing to answer your questions. There are rec gyms out there that do not want to fast track all kids to become elite. Where I work is very family oriented and we let the kids enjoy the sport as a hobby and really progress at the rate that works for them.
I also hope your post will serve as a "wake up call" for those parents who cannot wait to have their toddlers on team!

 

[gymnut1]

Well said!!

 

[meeeshymoo]

I totally hear you.

Having a gymnast is a huge commitment in terms of both time and money, for the whole family. I too worry about the time given up, the intensity of the training, potential for injury and just about everything else you can worry about !!

However, I have to say that I have never yet met an ex-gymnast who begrudged the time spent in gym, even at the expense of missing out on other things. In my experience (which is quite limited I admit!), most former gymnasts choose gymnastics as a sport for their own children.

I look forward to your future postings

 

[gymjourneymom]

Hello & welcome to the CB!!! 1st I must ask, are you my husband posting under a screen name??? LOL! Except for the 8 yr old elite track part, this could have been written by him. But no matter what, I feel certain our DD's must be at the same gym, because your DD's coaches sound exactly my DD's coaches(well at least her HC). Don't worry you aren't the 1st to post "controversial" opinions on CB. I've been rambling on & on about my love/hate relationship with this sport for quite a while now.

My DD is 14yrs old now & repeating L7. She struggles with severe fear issues on just about every event, but she is very talented & determine. Most importantly SHE LOVES this sport. That is the fact that I have resigned myself to. SHE LOVES this sport. SHE is the one doing the work & putting in hours of sweat & tears. She enjoys this & finds it fun(???) & challenging. Go figure!!! It looks like physical & mental torture to me. My DD is older than yours & she has tried other sports & activities & excelled at them. But she chooses gymnastics because she says "everything else is too easy or boring", her words. So I have learned to respect her choice. And I cheer her on, no matter how much I wish she were doing highschool track or acting in a school play instead( less chance for injury). She is happy & have fun "childhood". Our DD's just have a different definition of "fun" than most girls their age. And I think THAT is something to be proud of!

So welcome!!! We can commiserate here on CB about the sport we hate but our DD's love!

 

[Obeg]

I dunno - I tend to look around at "normal" kids watching TV, eating doritos, hanging out at the mall, giving a half a$$ efforts at (fill in whatever activity you want), having superficial / fake friends --- and then I compare to our dds who have wonderful, real relationships / deep meaningful / friendships with their gymn friends, I see them put their heart and so much effort and life into something they love and get real benefits from it that they will take on throughout their life, achieve things that "normal" kids don't even have the energy or desire to think about -- and I think my time as a taxi driver and check writer is well worth it.

 

[bogwoppit]

I know lots of non-gym kids and they are not hanging out in malls or eating doritos!!! Where do you live Obeg???

Active lifestyles are a family thing. My oldest never did a day in organised sport and that was fine by us. He can ski, snowboard, play hockey, swim and ride his bike with the best of them. If a child doesn't do organised sporsts it does not make them a mall rat or couch potato, that is where the parents come in.

Great friends are not exclusive to gym either.

I have two girls in the gym, some of the friendships they have are very real, but some are just as false as the mean girls movie, you know always looking for the girl who might be better or bolder whilst pretending to like them in the name of team spirit.

Kids are kids and families are families. I think we can guide them many ways if we choose. Everything in life is a balance, one family's balance is maybe 25 hours a week in the gym whilst anothers might be 4 hours a week in the gym and lots of other stuff.

If my girls want to do gym then that is fine, but if they want to stop then that is fine too. It should not mean that they have gone over to the other side and are no longer considered able to function as they will have no energy!

Just my humble opinion comme toujours!

 

[Gymdad2]

I'm going to agree with Obeg on this one. Yes, there are millions of kids doing all kinds of other sports and activities, and they are all benefiting from their chosen activities, but I don't think many of them would compare to gymnastics in the overall commitment and rewards found in the gym. You all made valid points about time, injury, school, etc., but to me the advantages at the gym outweigh them. I have a confident, poised, experienced and healthy dd who has been competing for 10 years, (might be 11, not sure any more) and IMHO whatever she has missed has been more than compensated for by the gym experience. If we were back at age 5 and she were to be invited to pre-team, my answer now would be the same as then - Yes!

 

[gymjourneymom]

I firmly believe that if my DD wasn't involved in gymnastics, she would be just as driven in something else(or multiple things more likely). We've been down that route when she took a break for a while. That is just her personality. She is very driven. I don't see her as ever being the kind of kid to sit in front of the TV for hours on end or hanging at the mall. She'd be in a zillion activities trying to burn off her energy. She chose to continue in gymnastics above all else. It challenges her both mentally & physically. So if gym is what she loves & where she chooses to spend her time, so be it. I'll will support her 100%. Otherwise I probably wouldn't be able to keep her schedule straight in my head, as to where in needed to be to pick her up, etc. At least I know she's at the gym.

But don't delude youself into thinking all girls(or their parents) at the gym are sweetness & light. Or that all coaches have your DD's best interests at heart. IMHO, gyms are just a small version of the "real world". There are good & bad everywhere. That being said, I think gymnastics has given my DD has a jump on the "real world". She has experienced things & learned some tough life lessons already, in her just her 14yrs. Lessons that some adults have yet to learn. She's is a stronger wiser young lady for all she has experienced, endured & over came. Sometime I feel so sad for the pain she has endured mentally & physically. But she is so strong & driven...I'm in awe of her!

As I said, I have a love/hate relationship with this sport. But as long as my DD loves it, I will support her efforts 100%.

 

[bogwoppit]

Gymjourneymom, you have such a way with words. I can only hope that in "real" life you write.