DD will be 12 next season, so she could have years of gymnastics left. She just finished her first year as a level 8. Everything was going really well until one day, mid-season where at the end of a very hard workout, think two solid hours of conditioning, DD ended up throwing a couple RO-BHS-Fulls when she meant to do layouts. This scared her. It became a big issue that is still going on over 2 months later. Recently, she had been hiding it well at the gym, but on Monday I told the wife of this husband/wife coaching duo, that the issue was still a big deal at home because she had gone from loving gym to wanting to quit. She told the husband, who is doing most of the coaching right now due to health issues with the wife, and yesterday he told DD if she was going to keep having this issue she might as well go home. This is basically how he handles fear. He sent another girl to sit at the lockers yesterday because she wouldn't throw her BHS-BT on the high beam without a pad for the first time, and he didn't want to spot her.
I know somehow we have to find a way to get her through her fear. As a side note, is this a vestibular thing? A thinking too much thing? It's not like she's scared to do a RO-BHS-LO on the floor, she's been doing them for years. She just has herself convinced she can only do fulls, so of course that's what she throws, and that is scary for her. I'd be scared too as I wouldn't want to be upside down feeling not in control of what my body did either.
I don't think I can send her back to the current JO team, as I can't trust the coach to help her get through this. All his getting upset with her isn't going to help. She's a perfectionist and a people pleaser, and I'm so mad at the coach who knows this, who knows she was struggling, and couldn't just be nice for one day. She hadn't been to gym in over a week because of this fear, I went to the coaches to tell them why she hadn't been there that she needed support. I finally talked her into trying it one more time, and now this.
I just don't know what to do next. She could join the XCel team at her current gym. It's bigger than the JO team and the coaches are very nice. She won't likely progress much from where she is though. They only have one diamond level gymnast who is graduating this year. Plus, none of the XCel coaches have spotted bar releases, flipping vaults, or anything like that so it seems that she'd be stuck doing only what she knows how to do already. To me this route feels like the beginning of the end of her gymnastics. I can't imagine she'd want to spend six years doing the same skills she's doing now, but going there for a year or two would allow her to keep doing some gymnastics while she figures out what else she loves to do, as all she's really ever done was gymnastics. She's definitely a kid who needs a high level of activity to be happy and to keep her brain ready to learn outside of the gym.
We have several gyms within a 20-45 minute drive from our house. The next closest gym had one level 9, one level 8 and a handful of 7's this past year. I have heard good things about the environment there, especially the coaching, but have never been inside the gym. The one after that has no level 9's, most of their 8's are hurt, but DD would have friends there as she knows a handful of the level 6-7s and all of those girls love this gym. After that we have two more competitive gyms nearby. The first has level 10's and gymnasts who get college scholarships most years. Unfortunately, they have a reputation for pitting the girls against each other at workout, and being very hard on them. They get good scores, but I'm not sure my DD who is dealing with fear issues would thrive in that environment, nor am I sure they'd take a level 8/training 9 with fear issues as they have a huge level 8/9 team this year. And finally there is a gym that also has high level gymnasts, but we had two level 9's/training 10's leave for this gym a couple years ago and both have been hurt basically ever since. They've both been mostly out for two solid seasons. Doesn't exactly make me want to send DD there. There are more gyms about an hour drive away, but I don't know as much about them as the closer ones.
Is it too late for DD to switch this year? Is it worth calling around? How does one go about switching gyms? She's been at this gym since she was 2.5 years old. I just wish her coach would understand that his approach to fear is the big reason so many upper level girls ends up leaving for another gym. Before this issue DD really wanted to get to 10. Now she'd rather walk away from the sport entirely, but I feel like there has to be a way to get past this fear with the right people around her, instead of someone who doesn't accept that working through fear is part of the sport.
Thank you if you made it through my novel! And TIA for any advice!!
I know somehow we have to find a way to get her through her fear. As a side note, is this a vestibular thing? A thinking too much thing? It's not like she's scared to do a RO-BHS-LO on the floor, she's been doing them for years. She just has herself convinced she can only do fulls, so of course that's what she throws, and that is scary for her. I'd be scared too as I wouldn't want to be upside down feeling not in control of what my body did either.
I don't think I can send her back to the current JO team, as I can't trust the coach to help her get through this. All his getting upset with her isn't going to help. She's a perfectionist and a people pleaser, and I'm so mad at the coach who knows this, who knows she was struggling, and couldn't just be nice for one day. She hadn't been to gym in over a week because of this fear, I went to the coaches to tell them why she hadn't been there that she needed support. I finally talked her into trying it one more time, and now this.
I just don't know what to do next. She could join the XCel team at her current gym. It's bigger than the JO team and the coaches are very nice. She won't likely progress much from where she is though. They only have one diamond level gymnast who is graduating this year. Plus, none of the XCel coaches have spotted bar releases, flipping vaults, or anything like that so it seems that she'd be stuck doing only what she knows how to do already. To me this route feels like the beginning of the end of her gymnastics. I can't imagine she'd want to spend six years doing the same skills she's doing now, but going there for a year or two would allow her to keep doing some gymnastics while she figures out what else she loves to do, as all she's really ever done was gymnastics. She's definitely a kid who needs a high level of activity to be happy and to keep her brain ready to learn outside of the gym.We have several gyms within a 20-45 minute drive from our house. The next closest gym had one level 9, one level 8 and a handful of 7's this past year. I have heard good things about the environment there, especially the coaching, but have never been inside the gym. The one after that has no level 9's, most of their 8's are hurt, but DD would have friends there as she knows a handful of the level 6-7s and all of those girls love this gym. After that we have two more competitive gyms nearby. The first has level 10's and gymnasts who get college scholarships most years. Unfortunately, they have a reputation for pitting the girls against each other at workout, and being very hard on them. They get good scores, but I'm not sure my DD who is dealing with fear issues would thrive in that environment, nor am I sure they'd take a level 8/training 9 with fear issues as they have a huge level 8/9 team this year. And finally there is a gym that also has high level gymnasts, but we had two level 9's/training 10's leave for this gym a couple years ago and both have been hurt basically ever since. They've both been mostly out for two solid seasons. Doesn't exactly make me want to send DD there. There are more gyms about an hour drive away, but I don't know as much about them as the closer ones.
Is it too late for DD to switch this year? Is it worth calling around? How does one go about switching gyms? She's been at this gym since she was 2.5 years old. I just wish her coach would understand that his approach to fear is the big reason so many upper level girls ends up leaving for another gym. Before this issue DD really wanted to get to 10. Now she'd rather walk away from the sport entirely, but I feel like there has to be a way to get past this fear with the right people around her, instead of someone who doesn't accept that working through fear is part of the sport.
Thank you if you made it through my novel! And TIA for any advice!!
