Parents Please butt out

[gymgal]

Most often after practice she'll be on an endorphin high and want to show her dad what she learned that night. Why shut this down?

Because you are setting yourself up for problems in the future both with having to shut down more dangerous skills and with overwork fatigue. Most of us here long enough have been-there-done-that. Trust me, most of us had older moms telling us the same thing we are telling you. We are not trying to be harsh about it. We just know it rarely ends well in the long term. If she wants to show her father, take occasional videos in the gym, with permission of course or have him pick her up occasionally. This will help with the rule of keeping gym in the gym. Almost all of our gymmies were here at one point, bouncing off the walls wanting to release that energy and do gym "all the time" but the key to long term retention in this sport is keeping them in a state of always wanting more. By keeping gym at the gym, you are reducing the long term fatigue factor that happens when gymnasts are doing the work both at home and gym (even if it is self motivated). If she has a hard time understanding this, talk to her about other sports where you leave it at practice: hockey/figure skating, horseback riding, swimming, etc.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Most often after practice she'll be on an endorphin high and want to show her dad what she learned that night. Why shut this down?

Meets, gym showcases. These are the times her dad and I see what she has accomplished. If one of us can’t make a meet or a showcase we see it on video.

Why shut this down? Because gym needs to stay in gym. As you have been told, by coaches and many other BTDT parents

 

[Muddlethru]

LTmom, please don’t take this the wrong way, but perhaps the ”suggestion” or “threat” to “butt out” is for your own good. Recalling your past posts and the age of your gymnast, 7 years, who hasn’t even started competing, you could be putting your heart and health at risk if you stayed on this pace. You are likely still young and may not see this as a potential danger, but it is. You will not be doing yourself any good and I guarantee will be doing more harm on not only your daughter’s longevity in the sport but you will be robbing yourself and your daughter of the joys this sport has to offer. Try to watch your daughter with adoring eyes instead of critical eyes.

As far as the email, I would not even request a meeting and just abide by their request because by your own admission on previous posts, you‘ve “CGM your daughter to death” but are working on it. If you don’t trust the coaches, find another gym you feel will give her the training you approve of.

 

[CuriousCate]

Couple that with #2. I have BEEN there. Little one wants to play on the beam. She wants to do her best skills or the next skills up. You as mom know how bad bad habits are so you only want her to do them if she's doing them right. What starts out as "only do them if you're doing them right" turns into "No, don't do that, you're crooked. No, your legs are bent." And guess what? Now you're coaching your kid, even though you didn't intend to.

Oh shoot! Guilty of this! And didn't even realize it! Thanks for the good reminder!

 

[Flyaway]

LTmom, you have gotten such wonderful, grace-filled, firm responses here. I hope you see the wisdom and experience that come with them. It is rare that the frog recognizes that the water is getting hot before it starts to boil, giving it time to jump out of the pot. You've been given that chance. Don't waste it.

 

[LTmom]

Try to watch your daughter with adoring eyes instead of critical eyes.

I love this, thank you. I didn't see your message until after yesterday's private. I busied myself on my phone, Coach (not angry email writer) said she did great, I told LT great job and we left. I hope I'm turning over a new leaf. It's not overnight; as I've said I've been working on this a long time, trying to turn the tide in my own head from "wow that was a messy xyz" to "wow she's so brave."

 

[duyetanh]

I love this, thank you. I didn't see your message until after yesterday's private. I busied myself on my phone, Coach (not angry email writer) said she did great, I told LT great job and we left. I hope I'm turning over a new leaf. It's not overnight; as I've said I've been working on this a long time, trying to turn the tide in my own head from "wow that was a messy xyz" to "wow she's so brave."

The other thing that might help you is not to do privates, at least not on a regular basis. If she has never competed before and is fairly young, she is probably getting enough at practice. Did the coaches suggest these?

 

[gymgal]

I love this, thank you. I didn't see your message until after yesterday's private. I busied myself on my phone, Coach (not angry email writer) said she did great, I told LT great job and we left. I hope I'm turning over a new leaf. It's not overnight; as I've said I've been working on this a long time, trying to turn the tide in my own head from "wow that was a messy xyz" to "wow she's so brave."

Spot on - work on changing your inner voice in addition to what you focus on when you talk with your dd.

BTW, Have you shown this email to a friend or family member? just wondering if they read it the same way as you have. It may be helpful in figuring out whether you are over-interpreting the anger in it.