Parents Pre-team parents

[mommyof1]

My daughter recently started pre-team, which has been her goal for a long time. She loves it, and I love watching her, but the talk I am overhearing in the bleachers is already driving me batty. There is a little cluster of moms who spend the entire practice complaining about how their daughters are having an off day or aren't advancing fast enough. They occasionally take breaks to yell "hollow body! hollow body!" at their daughters. I have also figured out that these kids are taking weekly private lessons in addition to their regular practices, which is just not something we have time for at this point. This is so different from watching the rec classes, when all the parents would applaud and cheer when a kid got a new skill or made it to the top of the rope. I'm not ready to do the drop and dash yet, so I am trying to sit at the other end of the bleachers and look busy on my laptop. Arrrrrrgh. Please reassure me that these parents will mellow out by the time the girls get to Level 4!

 

[JessLW]

They might not mellow out by level 4, but usually by 5 or 6. Basically, once the herd has thinned a bit, the group has had its first injuries, and the first big fears have hit, the parents will start to chill. Level 4 seems to be right about the peak of the craziness. It does get better, but it takes some time! Just sit back, enjoy the ride, and don't forget to share their exploits on CB for our entertainment.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

as long as there is parent viewing this problem will persist. it's a problem ALL over the country and one that has been discussed ad nauseum here on this site. gym clubs have become the soccer fields that are everywhere.

 

[Seeker]

I am so grateful for our non-crazy parents. Some watch practice, but most don't. No one is hollering from the stands. No one is cutting other people's kids down. They may be doing that privately, but certainly not while sitting in the cheap seats.

All can change with the addition of new folks so it could be the calm before a storm, but right now everyone is nice, non-crazy and supportive. I hope your group gets there soon! In the meantime, STAY AWAY from the Tiger Mom's!!

 

[kayjaybe]

Our gym does not allow you to view practices once they hit level 3. They'll kick you right out of there. Solves the majority of these issues and allows the girls to focus and the coaches to work without "help" from the parents.

 

[wallinbl]

gym clubs have become the soccer fields that are everywhere.

My other daughter's soccer coach benches girls when their parents instruct them from the sideline. Shuts parents up in no time.

 

[SignHere]

In our gym, level 4 is bad, but level 5 and 6 is worse. I recently was standing next to a parent of a Level 6 who refused to take a picture of her daughter doing a backwalkover on the high beam because the girl had a pad on the beam. The mom said "Not until she takes the pad off!" I looked at her and said, "Can YOU do a backwalkover on the high beam? No? Then you should be supportive of your daughter" and walked off. I was just disgusted with her.

 

[Krystan]

Parents at our gym can watch practice (most watch snippets here and there at the beginning and end, but rarely sit and watch the whole thing), but only through a glass window through which you can barely hear a thing (the music yes, but not what is being said from either side). From inside the gym, the window is such a small percentage of the wall space, that I don't think it's too distracting - most of the time. There are blinds that get pulled over the window if kids are getting distracted or at other specific times (ex. week before the first meet or states). If a gymnast's parents are trying to motion to them or distract them, the blinds are drawn. This rarely is an issue, but I've seen it used once or twice. If someone gets a new skill, she can invite her parent in at the end to watch that one thing. I've never seen parents take pictures during a practice.

As far as parents making negative, snarky comments goes, it seems par for the course. Ours really aren't so bad, and most parents are very supportive of every gymnast, but sometimes they seem a little too involved. Definitely sit apart from them if possible! And certainly don't participate in the negative talk. It can be easy to get sucked into that stuff. I love watching my dd working hard and enjoying her sport, but I try to stay out of the speculative/complaining/defensive discussions in the lobby. I can't believe parents actually yell to their kids during practice! That would drive me crazy!

 

[GymBee97]

It's just one of the perks of being a Gym mom LOL. Seriously though every gym has the crazy gym moms, I just try to ignore them as much as possible and focus on my own kid. If it gets really bad many of the gyms limit the time parents can watch. Once you get comfortable with your DD at the gym you will love the walk her in make sure she is all set then come back later.

I am surprised that a coach doesn't say something to them if they are yelling out to their kids during practice.

 

[my4buffaloes]

I always try to look busy with other things, but I really do like watching my dd's practice. I don't want to coach and I never yell at them, I just really like watching them. I hope I don't come across as a crazy gym mom. Between school and gym I don't see them nearly enough for my liking and if I can watch them doing what they love it makes me happy.

 

[gymmomtoo]

I always try to look busy with other things, but I really do like watching my dd's practice. I don't want to coach and I never yell at them, I just really like watching them. I hope I don't come across as a crazy gym mom. Between school and gym I don't see them nearly enough for my liking and if I can watch them doing what they love it makes me happy.

Watching and enjoying (which I do sometimes too) is totally different than watching, picking them apart, yelling out corrections and/or comparing gymnasts to each other and loudly criticizing the coaches to other parents.

 

[mommyof1]

I am surprised that a coach doesn't say something to them if they are yelling out to their kids during practice.

It surprises me too. What I really dislike about it is that now my daughter keeps looking up at me, expecting me to say something too.

 

[shelovestoflip]

I'm surprised parents can view and say things! Our gym has 2 separate viewing areas but both are behind glass.
Pre-team at our gym meets 2 hours/2x a week. I don't think many parents stay. But our gym is in a city and I think parents are close enough to go home (or at least do some errands!)

I was always a drop and go parent.....even during rec classes all those years ago, I still thought it was a great opportunity to run out to Starbucks and get a coffee in peace!

I'd just steer clear of crazy parents. As our children grow, I think the majority of parents are smart enough to realize there is only so much we can 'control'....I'd save it for the bigger stuff. At the end of the day, whether Suzy can do a kip or Sally can do a flyaway really doesn't matter. But being happy and grounded will get them far in life.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

It surprises me too. What I really dislike about it is that now my daughter keeps looking up at me, expecting me to say something too.

or maybe she's looking at you with an exasperated look..."MOM! why don't you tell them to SHUT UP? you're sitting right there!" lol.

 

[Moxiegrl83]

We have signs up all down our partition wall... "PLEASE DO NOT TRY TO COACH YOUR CHILD OVER THE WALL! IT IS VERY DANGEROUS TO YOUR CHILD AND OTHER GYMNASTS" - I'm amazed at the parents hollering out what they think is helpful advice. Overall we have a really great gym with great parents. But a few always ruin it for the sane ones.

 

[skschlag]

Our gym has glass, so most of the time, the parents are watching with 1/2 an eye while gabbing! (social hour!) We keep joking that they need to put a coffee shop in the lobby (or a bar )

We did go to a meet at a gym that had open seating. We did a practice the night before because some of the equipment was different than our boys were used to. I was shocked to hear parents not only yelling at their kids but the coaches!! One mom yelled "Make him work on his swings, they are horrible!" And this was a boys' level 4 class! They were also yelling down to their kids. Makes me glad we have glass.

 

[wallinbl]

I was shocked to hear parents not only yelling at their kids but the coaches!!

DD went to a birthday party at a local gym that's fairly big and turns out girls on scholarships, etc. At the time, DD was in a gym that was mostly a preschool gym (but also has a Level 4 team). We got a free class as part of the birthday party, so I took her over there to check it out. The parents are kept in an area behind a gate/railing, rather than behind glass. They were yelling all sorts of things at the girls and the coaches ("don't let her get away with that", etc). Completely turned me off and actually caused me to not bother looking at "competitive" gyms for a year or two.

 

[GymBeeMom]

Our gym has kicked out parents and would do it again in a heartbeat. Made me respect the coaches that much more...

 

[LoriLou]

This is a little off-topic, but I wanted to clarify. What is pre-team? Is it like L2 and L3? Or is it before L2 and L3?

 

[Quadqueen]

This is a little off-topic, but I wanted to clarify. What is pre-team? Is it like L2 and L3? Or is it before L2 and L3?

it's different in every gym. Many gyms don't compete L2 or L3. Some don't compete L4. So, the year or two before they compete is their "pre-team."