Parents Preschooler Afraid

[kaithb89]

Hello! My 4 year old daughter started gymnastics last week. This is her first "activity " that is separate from me. She separated just fine and did stretches, but when they got to somersaults she freaked out and while she did go back, was essentially done. Now she's saying she doesn't want to go back. I'm not going to let her quit after 1 class, and we've been practicing somersaults at home and have also been practicing saying "no thank you" ifshe feels uncomfortable with something. I guess I'm looking for validation that my kid isn't crazy and I'm doing the right thing. I'm having an undue amount of anxiety over it. Thanks!!

 

[estamey21]

Is she afraid of doing gymnastics or afraid of being separated from you? Either way, I think it's normal for kids to get the heebie-jeebies on their first day of gymnastics class.

Keep going to class and let the instructor know that she is anxious. A good instructor will go slow with her and let her take breaks as needed. (If I know that the parent is present, I will let an anxious child leave class to take a break with them.) I would also set up a reward system for positive reinforcement (e.g. if you do a forward roll at class, you can have a lollipop after dinner).

If she's not showing progress after about 5 classes, I would pull her from the class and work with her on her fears at home. Some kids just need more time to adjust to new activities.

 

[Coach Kate]

Please talk to the coach! Fear is normal and I always just offer a step back from the skill so they have choices and are still participating in class. I had kids in class for months who wouldn't do forward rolls. When it was their turn, I would just have them do a bear walk down the wedge mat so they could get used to being upside down in a safer low risk way. I would always ask if they wanted to roll over but would respect their answer. For backwards, I would just have them roll back part way and push their hands into the mat, but not roll over. Again, I would always ask if I could help them roll over, but would respect the answer. Sitting in a tuck and trying a rock and roll, or doing a candle stick roll (with or without a mat) are other good alternatives. Eventually, they will usually be ready to try. Sometimes they decide not to do gymnastics the next session at some point. Both outcomes are totally fine!

Try to come a little early next class and catch the coach. Say something like, "Hi, I'm Sally's mom and she is really nervous about doing rolls. Would it be ok if she did (one of the alternatives I listed above) until she feels ready?" Then you could tell your daughter "Coach Jill says it's ok if you aren't ready to roll yet. You can do (xyz) instead when it's your turn. She might ask you if you want to try, and you can say , 'yes, please help, or no thank you' or let her know when you're ready." That way everyone gets on the same page.

 

[kaithb89]

Please talk to the coach! Fear is normal and I always just offer a step back from the skill so they have choices and are still participating in class. I had kids in class for months who wouldn't do forward rolls. When it was their turn, I would just have them do a bear walk down the wedge mat so they could get used to being upside down in a safer low risk way. I would always ask if they wanted to roll over but would respect their answer. For backwards, I would just have them roll back part way and push their hands into the mat, but not roll over. Again, I would always ask if I could help them roll over, but would respect the answer. Sitting in a tuck and trying a rock and roll, or doing a candle stick roll (with or without a mat) are other good alternatives. Eventually, they will usually be ready to try. Sometimes they decide not to do gymnastics the next session at some point. Both outcomes are totally fine!

Try to come a little early next class and catch the coach. Say something like, "Hi, I'm Sally's mom and she is really nervous about doing rolls. Would it be ok if she did (one of the alternatives I listed above) until she feels ready?" Then you could tell your daughter "Coach Jill says it's ok if you aren't ready to roll yet. You can do (xyz) instead when it's your turn. She might ask you if you want to try, and you can say , 'yes, please help, or no thank you' or let her know when you're ready." That way everyone gets on the same page.

Thank you for the responses! Fear of somersaults, I believe. I added the bit about separating for context and because I think thst was part of it, even if her 4 year old brain couldn't formulate those words. I will definitely talk to the coaches! It was a hectic first class and I didn't think of that when we were there!

 

[estamey21]

Plus one to what @Coach Kate said. Any reasonably competent gymnastics coach knows how to teach skills within the physical and mental constraints of their students. Fear management is a big part of gymnastics, and coaches know how to modify a lesson to accommodate a fearful student.

 

[newbie504]

My daughter cried the entire first class lol. She was barely 3. She was much better the second class. A year later she's going 3 times a week. Just give it time

 

[kaithb89]

My daughter cried the entire first class lol. She was barely 3. She was much better the second class. A year later she's going 3 times a week. Just give it time

Thank you! Needed to hear this!

 

[GYMmom2021]

When my daughter started at 4, she was terrified of doing a summersault, so the coach just had her do a pencil roll or something else until she was ready. She ended up joining preteam at 5, so she definitely got over it.

 

[Blythe24]

One of my kids literally cried during every parent and tot class for an entire session. Sometimes it was epic meltdown level … red faced screaming “I don’t want to!!” I’m sure you can imagine.

I told him he didn’t have to do anything he didn’t want to do, but that we weren’t leaving the class. He could just sit to the side and wait for the next activity he wanted to do, etc. In some cases, I think his reluctance was due to fear, and in other cases I think it was a sensory overload. Gyms can be loud and busy, and my son is someone who prefers quiet and calm.

By the time we got to the end of the second parent and tot session, he had warmed up to it a bit, and wanted to go back. He was old enough to do preschool classes by that point, and was willing to try new things, although not always! But he knew he could sit things out if he wanted.

Now he’s 11 and trains 20 h/week. He absolutely loves it. He can still be tentative at times - if he feels that a new skill is scary, it can take him longer to learn it than some of his teammates, and he often needs extra progressions to get there. But he gets there at his own pace, and his coach does an amazing job of ensuring he makes progress while also feeling safe.

I agree with all the above advice. Talk to the coach. They’re there to help.