Parents Question about post-meet practices

[twinmomma]

I should clarify the coaches didn't tell my daughter specifically or individually that she disappointed them. Apparently what was said to the team was that the coaches were disappointed because they only took second by 2/10s of a point.
My daughter seemed to take it all in stride but I think that's largely because she was prepped heavily on what to expect where some of the other girls were super upset. The older girls really. So it's hard to know. I will say I had a conversation with the operations dir at our gym who said they are well aware that our coach needs to work on encouraging the girls more. My dd worked out with our JO level 3 coach some yesterday and I'm just more convince than ever that's where she belongs. So that's our plan come April to make the switch.

 

[l.c.o]

Well, I think my DD has experienced some of both. At her former gym, all she got was criticism. No real acknowledgement of big improvement. First practice after a meet, they'd gather the girls together and publicly acknowledge which girls had 1st place finishes, scores over 9.5, and falls. In fact, I timed beam awhile back and overheard their coach make comments like "well, you did x,y, z wrong, but I appreciate the effort" in a very frustrated sort of way... Just seconds after dismount. (All this for old 4/ new 3). DD always felt like she was a "horrible gymnast". Sad for an 8 year old scoring around 36s.

New gym, DD gets more encouragement it seems. Focus also seems to be more on overall progression in the sport than individual meet performance. Kids are encouraged to do their best. DD gets a hug and a smile after every event. Granted, my DD did improve some at every meet, but it seemed that her coaches acknowledged improvement and true effort. DD was aware of her deductions, but more in a "here's how you can get even better" sort of way rather than "here is how you failed" sort of way.

I have to say, DD's attitude is so much healthier. At old gym, she'd cry after a meet because she didn't "help the team" (top 3 scores). She naturally tends to get anxious, so going in to meets with what is perceived as few/no coach expectations (at new gym) really helped. She was told that she was capable of winning, but it was ok if she didn't. And guess what? A fair portion of her scores "counted" this year... And she wasn't even made aware of that (After states she did ask, and I did show her that some did).

So anyway, I think it seems like it's all in the way it's handled. While I won't criticize the way a coach coaches, I think there's a very "right" way that "criticism" can be done. Constructive seems better with the younger kids, at least, in my very limited experience.

 

[profmom]

Some coaches are good at giving both messages at once. At their first meet, DS's team came in third. They missed first place by about 1.5 points. That is one fall and one missed bonus by ONE gymnast or just everyone going a little higher and sticking one more landing, as their coach told them in no uncertain terms after the meet.

However -- he had them all sign their third-place banner. And he hung it up right underneath the gym's shrine poster listing all of the gym's national champions.

I'm sure they got both messages.

 

[skschlag]

It does need to be a balance. Too much positives, and the kids will know that you are not sincere. They are smart kids. They know what happened at the meet. They need and like honestly. But it has to be delivered in the right manner. Our coach will usually start by asking how they think the meet went. HE will acknowledge the podium finishes. Then talk about improvements. The boys usually are ready to go and learn after that!