Rude comment- is this normal?

[cbone]

So I have a quick question for you parents. Is it normal for there to be resentment when a gymnast comes to a gym and didn't "pay their dues" by being in the gym's developmental program for a couple of years before jumping onto team? A mom at our gym told another mom that she didn't think that mom #2s daughter should be on the team and that her daughter's skills were not very good. My first reaction was, "who does that?" followed shortly thereafter by "do people do that?" So I figured I'd go to the forum's fount of knowledge. Is this behavior common with parents?

BTW, despite a lot of things I've heard about rude gymnasts and bullies, I've never seen it at our gym. I've found parents to be way worse.

 

[GymBee97]

That is "Mama Drama" I try to avoid at all costs.

Have you seen the show "Dance Moms" those crazy parents aren't just on TV or just in Dance.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

unfortunately, very common.

 

[gymgal]

It's a jealousy issue that their dd wasn't good enough to make the same sort of jump. But I also think it partly stems from resentment that they had to pay for several years of developmental classes and along come girls with seemingly no gym background who can do the same thing as their dd. Was all that money just a waste?

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[wallinbl]

Parents can be downright terrible. Some even have the nerve to say it within earshot of gymnasts.

 

[Empowered]

As someone who moved my wonderful middle of the pack kid to an insanely competitive gym, I can tell you parents can be nasty and it's not just the moms... there are Dads out there too that are just as mean. There is one who will still make comments about my daughter and how low her scores are even when he knows I am sitting right there... And my daughter isn't even new anymore, she's been at this gym for over a year now.

She just came back from being sick and one event in particular was really tough for her to come back to, and he actually said outloud to a whole room of people, "What the heck is she doing?" when she flubbed a skill. I replied as politely as possible while wanted to kick him in the shins.

All you can do is turn the other cheek and try to be the bigger person. And definitely don't become one of those people. I always try and go out of my way to introduce myself to new parents, even pre-team parents, and find out their daughters names and congratulate them on moving up or into the gym.

It's that whole thing about being the change you want to see in the world... If you want to see welcoming, friendly, supportive fellow team parents... Be one! Start the trend!!

 

[AlexsGymmyMom]

Oh yeah! Unfortunately it happens all the time! I had another gym mom tell me after her DD did not score well on beam...."even Alex beat her!!" (meaning that her DD usually beats Alex). I just said, "HELLO....you do know I am sitting right next to you, right?".

 

[jsfofec]

thankfully DD isn't in a place like that! One of DD's teammates spent 1 day in Rec. On that day, the Rec coach called the headcoach over to look at this new student, a few minutes later they were talking to the parent to move her to the team program. Other team parents were really excited to have this little "phenom" show up out of nowhere

 

[cbone]

AGM, I would have lost it. You obviously have a cooler head than me.

 

[lhmom]

I think there's parents like that in every sport. We have a particularly difficult one at our gym right now. I do my best to avoid her when possible.

 

[gymgal]

Oh yeah! Unfortunately it happens all the time! I had another gym mom tell me after her DD did not score well on beam...."even Alex beat her!!" (meaning that her DD usually beats Alex). I just said, "HELLO....you do know I am sitting right next to you, right?".

Hmm... I've had this happen and never thought anything about it but I have made the mistake of saying to another mom who really took offense. I am more careful now. I just have always been realistic. I know where my child stands and who typically scores higher. It's no secret. And after a few years of this occuring consistently, its not likely to change, at least not within a season.

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[Galadriel]

woo
so typical unfortunately
my dd started with good potential but miles behind others in terms of skills. we had lovely parents - supportive etc
now dd is oldest on team and i don't actually set foot much there (she cycles there) but she coaches younger ones before her class and loves getting new kids enthusiastic about the sport. there is a nice atmosphere. (except with parents of young kids who don't 'know the ropes ' and are too competitive on their dd behalf. it is not them doing the sport its their kid!)


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[Granny Smith]

Unfortunately it's at every gym! I would like to say that as they get into the higher levels I don't think it's as bad. Higher level parents are more concerned with their child living through the practice, half can't even stay to watch the crazy stuff the kids are doing! Ha-ha...

Its not like the parent of the child who's succeeding has anything to do with it. It's the coaches, they are the ones who make the choices, seriously!

 

[CoachTodd]

Dance moms make gymnastics moms look normal.

 

[jsfofec]

I would like to say that as they get into the higher levels I don't think it's as bad. Higher level parents are more concerned with their child living through the practice, half can't even stay to watch the crazy stuff the kids are doing! Ha-ha...

The atmosphere is so different between a level 4 meet versus a higher level optional meet. The higher the level, the more laid back the parents become. As the gymnasts gain more skills, the parents learn to stay in control of themselves...of course there are always exceptions to that

 

[jsfofec]

Dance moms make gymnastics moms look normal.

I wondered if they were going to come out with a show called "gym moms (and dads)". I would imagine the USAG wouldn't like that. Mabye they will come out with "Little League Dads"

 

[GymBee97]

I wondered if they were going to come out with a show called "gym moms (and dads)". I would imagine the USAG wouldn't like that. Mabye they will come out with "Little League Dads"

Actually they tried to do something like that a few years back. At our first gym there was a notice on the board one week that if you were interested in being a "gym family" for a TV Show (Like dance moms but it didn't say that as Dance moms wasn't even though of then) we just had to call a certain number. All the Gym parents at the gym said NO WAY who would want tv crews etc following you around and putting your private life out there.

 

[wallinbl]

Actually they tried to do something like that a few years back. At our first gym there was a notice on the board one week that if you were interested in being a "gym family" for a TV Show (Like dance moms but it didn't say that as Dance moms wasn't even though of then) we just had to call a certain number. All the Gym parents at the gym said NO WAY who would want tv crews etc following you around and putting your private life out there.

While reading your comment, I seriously assumed the notice was going to finish with "... you will be asked to leave the gym". Who would want their business associated with a show designed to make people look bad for entertainment purposes?

 

[UnoMas]

very common, and very annoying. As PP's have said, this seems to occur more with the lower levels of gym where everyone is new to it and still trying to figure things out. It gets better as the kids (and parents LOL) move up the levels. Usually.

My tiny DD is just now going from pre-team to team and I am having to close my ears to some of the conversations occurring in the lobby at this time of year regarding move-ups with the little ones. Ugh.

 

[wallinbl]

My tiny DD is just now going from pre-team to team and I am having to close my ears to some of the conversations occurring in the lobby at this time of year regarding move-ups with the little ones. Ugh.

I had to find a different place to watch practice from than where the rest of the parents watch. It's much more pleasant when I can't hear the conversations that go on.