Parents Seeking opinions on privates in this situation

[LTmom]

DD’s gym does move ups in January every year. The coaches moved her up in September, meaning she is/was trying to integrate into a class of kids who’d largely been there since January. To make things harder, she sprained her ankle (outside the gym) 1 week after she moved up, causing her to miss 3 weeks of anything leg related. Now she’s struggling. Part of me thinks eh, she was never gonna move up again in January, so who cares, let her take her sweet time learning this level and be moved up the following January. DH would totally go for this because he only ever thinks about money. The other part of me feels bad for my kid who is struggling and I feel like I should get her some privates so she doesn’t feel so far behind.
What are your opinions?

 

[josie55]

I know that a lot of people on this board are anit-privates but the reality is, they really can help and make a difference in progression, especially if she's stuck on one or two skills for which she's not "getting it" in the larger group environment. If you feel it would be better for her to be at the higher level, and you can afford the privates, and your dd wants to do them, and it won't add pressure, then I'd say go for it. Otherwise, I imagine it's fine to skip them and let her take her time.

 

[raenndrops]

Would she feel pressured to get the skills to move up if she did the privates?

I know that my YG has turned down privates (due to the price) because she would put too much pressure on herself ... afterall, "If you are going to pay all this money, then you should get results."
At the time, we were talking about doing a private or 2 for her clear hip with a coach that can actually spot high bar clear hips (in a gym with a spotting tower on one of the bars) and maybe also a roundoff on beam.
Since she was little, we have taught her to be money savvy, to the point that at her first Y Nationals, she wasn't going to buy a stuffed animal she really wanted because she thought it was too expensive (even though she had more than enough money) ... the vendor was so impressed that she let her name her own price. She got it for 1/2 price.
She realized that 2 hours of privates would cost as much as a month of practice, so no privates.
We are, however, going to open gym on Friday ... and that coach is supposed to be there and is willing to spot her during open gym. She has a list of skills she wants to work on and if needed, we will rethink privates ... but I bet she will ask him for a discount if she decides to go for it, lol.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

What level?

 

[John]

Again I will go against the grain. My DD has a favorite coach, a younger coach, he came to me in the past and said DD is fearless and he would like to work with her for two reasons. First, he wanted to work on his coaching skills as they relate to higher level skills. Two, she loves to learn new things. From this experience, still goes on in the cold winter months, I learned that if the private focus is partly working on the stuck skill and the rest is something the gymnast wants to learn there is little to no pressure and the two of them have a very good time.

So if you think your DD will enjoy the private and not feel that the pressure is on to "get that skill " let her have one and see how it goes.

 

[CLgym]

I don't think privates are a bad thing, but we've done a few in the past with mixed results. In my experience, one or two private lessons will very rarely make a big difference unless you are talking about an isolated and quick-to-fix issue. So I guess my opinion would be based largely on the purpose of the privates (one missing skill? one trouble event? or everything?). Have you talked to coaches? Do they think privates will help? Our gym frequently denies private lesson requests unless the coaches honestly think it will be a good use of everyone's time. Also, does your DD want to do them? As a general rule, mine does not like privates at all!

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Actually when thinking about it. My daughter has been with the same group of girls since L2 they are now L8/7.

There are a few girls that did privates. For one reason or another. All the girls seem to have gotten to the same place with or without.I’m not sure the privates have helped any of them. It might have gotten them a couple of higher placements back in lower levels but long term they are all in the same place.

My personal experience is my kid was doing one a week for a bit because she was unable to make Sat practice. All three of us, Coach, kid, and mom didn’t feel she was getting anything significant out of it so we stopped.

We have occasionally done privates around states to work on the details of form. The little things that there just isn’t time for in practice. But that was back in compulsory days when text errors could happen. None of the girls in my daughters group do those now.

 

[MuggleMom]

I agree with all the above if you have something specific and relatively easily fixed that is a good reason to get a private (we did one for the dreaded back handspring on floor at the time they only let you work on it if you had it so I wanted her to get it so she could work on it--very silly) Or to clean up something before a big meet like states. Also if it would give her confidence that could be a good reason for 1-2 just to help her feel like she is getting her groove back. If you don't think the extra help would fall in one of those three categories I would say forgo it. I know the temptation to step in and try and "fix it" but sometimes only time will fix it!

 

[mls529]

It definitely depends on the level and what she is struggling with. If it is across every event and in general she is "behind," I wouldn't waste the money and effort. It will also likely disappoint your DD if she does some privates and doesn't move up anyway.

That said, we have used privates selectively across a few levels with very good success. But it was always for one specific purpose, for example, she was up to level on all her events, but getting a good block on vault was an issue (she was young and small) and the amount of practice she was getting during regular sessions wasn't moving her forward. Also once in level 4 floor, she was getting dinged on all the small stuff (arm placement; positioning of her leg), and 2 privates helped her score increase by .5 on floor -- it also reinforced some basics that she remembers to this day.
If it was fear related, I would hesitate to do privates. The BHS on beam plagued my DD for a long time. I considered privates, but ultimately decided against it. I think it adds to the pressure.

For what it is worth, my DD's teammate has a standing weekly private with a favorite coach, and she is by far the best gymnast on the team. There is no doubt that those privates are helping an already talented gymnast.

 

[Carly]

I think that you already received some great advice. How old & what level is your dd?

If this is just to get a couple skills that she is close to getting already & would help her move up in January, I would probably do it. However I think it also depends on age & level. I would ask the coaches for their opinions.

Since she was just moved up in September, I would be afraid to put too much pressure on her to get the skills. It can only help her in the long run to get stronger before moving up if she’s not quite ready.

There was a discussion on another thread very recently about being behind others. Your dd is on her own journey so try not to compare her to the others.

 

[Flippin'A]

I honestly think privates have their time and place. They're great if a gymnast is struggling to learn choreography, has issues with the details of form (straight legs, pointed toes,) or if there's one specific skill that they're close to but haven't quite gotten. However, if a gymnast isn't ready to move up a level, privates aren't going to change that. You can't cram for a level of gymnastics. Strength, flexibility, and coordination take time to develop and if you try to rush those things you can end up with a stressed kid and overuse injuries. If she has a specific, isolated problem I say talk to the coach about whether a private would help. If not, make sure she knows that there's no timeline for gymnastics and she's doing a great job at working hard and moving at her own pace.

 

[LTmom]

Lots of useful perspectives here, thanks.
She’s young and won’t feel pressure to get a skill or move up in January. The HC and I had a meeting when moving up in September and she told me her cutoff dates, and about her previous girls who spent 16 months in this level. DD has no idea because she’s young and I don’t think she needs to know about any of that.

My main concern is since DD missed over 3 weeks, she is confused as to what she’s supposed to be doing, drill wise. Her confidence is suffering, so I’m mainly trying to help her get back to where she’s in the flow of her group.

She loves privates, she thinks they’re a private party time with her favorite coaches, and the coches have told me before how immensely they help her, and how well she responds to the 1 on 1 attention. In just 1 private she nailed down all the skills she needed for the September evaluation on 1 event (I think they were evaluated on 8 or 9 and she had maybe half, a quarter were messy and a quarter were just plain missing).

So, to summarize by thinking out loud: DD woud love it and benefit from it, I’m not pushing skills or a move up, just trying to get her confidence up, and coaches say she does well in privates. I guess I’m doing it!

 

[MuggleMom]

Its always good to talk things out! It sounds like you are making a good decision.

 

[momstrong]

Would she feel pressured to get the skills to move up if she did the privates?

I know that my YG has turned down privates (due to the price) because she would put too much pressure on herself ... afterall, "If you are going to pay all this money, then you should get results."
At the time, we were talking about doing a private or 2 for her clear hip with a coach that can actually spot high bar clear hips (in a gym with a spotting tower on one of the bars) and maybe also a roundoff on beam.
Since she was little, we have taught her to be money savvy, to the point that at her first Y Nationals, she wasn't going to buy a stuffed animal she really wanted because she thought it was too expensive (even though she had more than enough money) ... the vendor was so impressed that she let her name her own price. She got it for 1/2 price.
She realized that 2 hours of privates would cost as much as a month of practice, so no privates.
We are, however, going to open gym on Friday ... and that coach is supposed to be there and is willing to spot her during open gym. She has a list of skills she wants to work on and if needed, we will rethink privates ... but I bet she will ask him for a discount if she decides to go for it, lol.

Wow! you either have VERY expensive privates as compared to where we are or very INEXPENSIVE monthly tuition if 2 hours is equivalent. My DD level 4 trains 13 hours per week right now and we could get approx. 8 lessons (Hour) lessons for what we pay for monthly tuition with the head of compulsory or 10 hour lessons with her favorite coach.

 

[gymdog]

Wow! you either have VERY expensive privates as compared to where we are or very INEXPENSIVE monthly tuition if 2 hours is equivalent. My DD level 4 trains 13 hours per week right now and we could get approx. 8 lessons (Hour) lessons for what we pay for monthly tuition with the head of compulsory or 10 hour lessons with her favorite coach.

Could be a combo of both and raenndrops has been open about it being a Y and monthly tuition is usually less particularly if you have a membership to the Y. I would imagine that privates have to be done like...with other coaches/facilities and would be at average rates. Across the country rates for privates vary from $50-$100 an hour. But in higher cost of living areas privates can be $100 an hour so to me it actually sounds like you're in the same situation but opposite...either really on the low end for privates or really in the high end for tuition

 

[momstrong]

Could be a combo of both and raenndrops has been open about it being a Y and monthly tuition is usually less particularly if you have a membership to the Y. I would imagine that privates have to be done like...with other coaches/facilities and would be at average rates. Across the country rates for privates vary from $50-$100 an hour. But in higher cost of living areas privates can be $100 an hour so to me it actually sounds like you're in the same situation but opposite...either really on the low end for privates or really in the high end for tuition

Yeah, $100/hour seems extreme! Ours are $48-$58 for an hour. (I'd forgotten about the gym/facility fee).

 

[raenndrops]

Yeah, $100/hour seems extreme! Ours are $48-$58 for an hour. (I'd forgotten about the gym/facility fee).

Gym tuition is $80. Privates with the person we want (he is a guy, strong enough to THROW YG in the air if needed, former high level gymnast, can currently do a back tuck on the high beam along with BHS and the RO she needs help with, can do clear hips and giants, and *bonus* not injured ... (the Y coach we would go to currently isnt allowed to spot due to injury, but she would only be $15 an hour and her time is harder to come by). He charges $30 for half hour or $40 an hour for a private.
We are just going to a $7 2-hour open gym instead, lol. If the local HS football team has a home game and the weather is ok, it might be practically like a private anyways

 

[momstrong]

Gym tuition is $80. Privates with the person we want (he is a guy, strong enough to THROW YG in the air if needed, former high level gymnast, can currently do a back tuck on the high beam along with BHS and the RO she needs help with, can do clear hips and giants, and *bonus* not injured ... (the Y coach we would go to currently isnt allowed to spot due to injury, but she would only be $15 an hour and her time is harder to come by). He charges $30 for half hour or $40 an hour for a private.
We are just going to a $7 2-hour open gym instead, lol. If the local HS football team has a home game and the weather is ok, it might be practically like a private anyways

Woah, you have an amazing financial set up for both tuition and privates as compared to us! Jealous! And the women coaches are not that strong at her level...

 

[raenndrops]

Woah, you have an amazing financial set up for both tuition and privates as compared to us! Jealous! And the women coaches are not that strong at her level...

We have 3 strong women coaches ... the problem is one is currently dealing with a back injury (not gym related), one has a wrist injury, and the 3rd one has a shoulder and hip problem. When healthy, they are all capable of throwing YG (5'5.5" tall at least), lol.
We have to be members of the Y to compete for the team, but I don't count that in tuition because we have a family membership and we all use the membership ... so it would mean calculating 1/7 of that monthly fee ... but not even really 1/7 because they do more than just gym with their access, lol, but even if we call it $10 a month per "share" we are still doing good @ $90 a month total gym tuition. At 7.5 hours a week, that is $3 an hour for practice... but sometimes, there is an extra practice available for no additional cost. We also don't pay as much for meets as clubs. We had our beginning of the season parent meeting last night. We have 7 regular season meets and a Championship meet (plus Nationals, if they qualify and choose to go). Not including Nationals, meet fees for the season are $140. Nationals will be an extra $100 unless they are Level 8 ($110) because L8s can qualify to compete a 2nd day by being in the top 25 in their age group on the 1st day.
We are at the Y because it is affordable and they do a good job. YG has qualified for Y Nationals 5 times.
We go to a club for open gym because they have an inground trampoline, an inground tumble track into a pit, a single rail into a pit, a retractable spotting tower on one of their bar sets, and a beam pad. We have no pits, no, no spotting tower, and no beam pad (we use a sting mat over the low beam if necessary) ... but we do have an air track and our spring floor is better than theirs.
If someone is in an area with a GOOD Y program, I highly recommend at least giving them a chance when looking at gyms.

 

[momstrong]

We have 3 strong women coaches ... the problem is one is currently dealing with a back injury (not gym related), one has a wrist injury, and the 3rd one has a shoulder and hip problem. When healthy, they are all capable of throwing YG (5'5.5" tall at least), lol.
We have to be members of the Y to compete for the team, but I don't count that in tuition because we have a family membership and we all use the membership ... so it would mean calculating 1/7 of that monthly fee ... but not even really 1/7 because they do more than just gym with their access, lol, but even if we call it $10 a month per "share" we are still doing good @ $90 a month total gym tuition. At 7.5 hours a week, that is $3 an hour for practice... but sometimes, there is an extra practice available for no additional cost. We also don't pay as much for meets as clubs. We had our beginning of the season parent meeting last night. We have 7 regular season meets and a Championship meet (plus Nationals, if they qualify and choose to go). Not including Nationals, meet fees for the season are $140. Nationals will be an extra $100 unless they are Level 8 ($110) because L8s can qualify to compete a 2nd day by being in the top 25 in their age group on the 1st day.
We are at the Y because it is affordable and they do a good job. YG has qualified for Y Nationals 5 times.
We go to a club for open gym because they have an inground trampoline, an inground tumble track into a pit, a single rail into a pit, a retractable spotting tower on one of their bar sets, and a beam pad. We have no pits, no, no spotting tower, and no beam pad (we use a sting mat over the low beam if necessary) ... but we do have an air track and our spring floor is better than theirs.
If someone is in an area with a GOOD Y program, I highly recommend at least giving them a chance when looking at gyms.

You're not kidding, that sounds amazing and I wish we had a similar opportunity here! I also wish our gym did open gym!