Parents Sent home for not throwing tricks

[Deleted member D3987]

Not sure if this is normal in gymnastics but my 11 year old DD has been getting sent home from practice when she wont try new skills. For example coach wants her to do back handspring on the high beam after only a week or so of learning to do it on a low beam. I am not sure what the coach hopes to accomplish by sending her home and my DD feels like the coach is just not wanting her around. This has happened to other girls and on other skills I just don't understand the thought process behind it. Anyone else have a coach use this as a coaching stratagy?

after 1 week? NO.

 

[iwannacoach]

I have been trying to come up with a way to respond to this and talk about how my daughters coach threw her out of practice for balking and crying over a skill she was perfectly capable of while in the end building her confidence, gaining the said skill and propelling her into what has turned out to be an unreal explosion in progress........... thefellowsmom

You framed it very well..... Thanks!

 

[Deleted member 14190]

So... did you talk to the coach? Because its best to get both sides prior to getting upset....

 

[Skygym]

I did speak to her coach last night. I asked if she was having an attitude or talking back and the response I got was no she was being emotionally stubborn, not going for the skill they feel she can do so they sent her home. I did not question their tactics but got the indication if she does not go for the skill next practice the same thing will happen. Asked if she would be getting a spot and they told me no. Going to have a sit down with the owners to discuss the situation when they get back into town. Thanks for all of your advice

 

[aksaunders]

I think that it would depend on the situation whether or not this is acceptable. My 8 year old DD is a day student at her gym. There are perhaps 15 other day students. As I understand it, all of these girls were invited to join the day program due to their prior performance and demonstrated potential. Because of the path that these young ladies are on, a coach does not have the time to deal with one young lady being bull-headed about performing a skill that she has performed hundreds of times previously. My DD did this once after coming back from a mini-vacation and was sent home early. She didn't go back to the gym for two days and then only after she performed the BWO-BHS combination on her beam at home. Personally, I think DD just wanted a break and I didn't have a problem with the coach sending her home.

 

[Seeker]

Maybe I misunderstood up-thread, but don't think this gymnast has ever performed this skill correctly. This isn't something the gymnast feels prepared to do after 1 week of practice on the low beam.

That being said, I think this sets up a perfect scenario for a gymnast to not trust their coach. This approach would make more sense if she'd been doing it on the low beam for weeks and months and just won't do it on high beam, but after a weeks practice I think it is clear that this is a skill she does not feel comfortable performing. Regardless of whether or not she got up there and did it, I think the bigger issue is the damage done to the coach-athlete relationship. Kids shouldn't be pressured by fear and threats to do skills. Sure, they may do them some of the time, but long-term that style of coaching will damage the relationship and potentially the athlete.

Coaches should not be bullies and this feels like bullying to me. I am not a coach, but as a former athlete I can say quite clearly that that approach would not suit me. My DD would not likely respond to this either. She is 9yrs old and is competing level 7 and I can honestly say she's never been threatened "do this or else". Lots of repitition, progressive skill building, going back to basics if needed, proper conditioning, etc are the tactics employed by our coaches and they seem to work quite well. The athletes are pushed appropriately, but none of them are afraid of being kicked out if they mess up or can't do something.

 

[l.c.o]

I did speak to her coach last night. I asked if she was having an attitude or talking back and the response I got was no she was being emotionally stubborn, not going for the skill they feel she can do so they sent her home. I did not question their tactics but got the indication if she does not go for the skill next practice the same thing will happen. Asked if she would be getting a spot and they told me no. Going to have a sit down with the owners to discuss the situation when they get back into town. Thanks for all of your advice

DD got tossed out of the gym once when she was a 7 year old preteamer. She was just learning the handstand on the high beam. She was terrified, and fell multiple times in a row. Poor thing had beam burn on both legs (front and back) and on her little bum. Coach refused to spot her. DD finally started crying and refused to get back up on the beam. Coach threw her out of the gym - told her that if she was going to cry and not work, she needed to get out of her gym.

DD never went back (it was the proverbial straw). I mean Christ, my kid's legs were bleeding. I figured DD could try another gym and if it was the same, then gymnastics just wasn't for her. She still competes today (after taking a couple of months to get over a brand new fear of beam).

That said, age and attitude I think really matter here, as well as your own personal philosophy. I think that if you think it's not ok - then it's not ok. I hate to second guess coaches, but at the same time, maybe your gut is telling you something.