Parents Should I say anything or not?

[Gymmom826]

If you were interested in other avenues like TOPS, or if your dd is already involved, how did it start? Should I say something? Or do the coaches approach the parents first most of the time? I want to know more about it, but I'm afraid to ask, but I don't want my dd to miss out if it's something that would benefit her.

 

[InbarSquirrel]

My DD was "passed" over at a fairly large sized gym at age 6yrs for their TOPs stream. When my husband and I asked the coach about TOPs we were told flat out that DD was too flexible and probably wouldn't have the strength to test later as an 8yr old. At that time that same gym was already moving kids age 5yrs into their "TOPs" stream so DD was too "old" in their eyes. The coaches knew DD wanted TOPs but yet DD was overlooked.

After that conversation we pulled DD out of the large sized gym to a successful smaller gym where she has flourished over the past year and now testing this summer. It's been an amazing year of progress just the training alone makes it all worth it.

Don't be afraid to ask.

 

[l.c.o]

Personally, I never asked.

I guess I figured that if DD had "IT", then she'd be invited.

I held the same philosophy when it came to her moving from rec to pre-team, etc.

I remember when my DD tried out for preteam. She and seven other girls were placed on pre-preteam. The mother of the other girl my DD's age was appalled. She complained every practice about how much more advanced her DD was than the little ones (age range of the group was 4-5, and our DD's were quite close to 6). She argued until her DD was moved to the preteam group (gym doesn't compete level 2, so that group is level 3 prep).

It sucked for my DD, but I refused to beg to move her. I figured she was where she was for a reason - she needed to earn a move-up on her own. Thankfully another girl her age was added a few months later. It was slow going and mostly focused on strength - my DD "lost" many of her "skills" she'd learned in rec. The skills were slowly rebuilt.

Fast forward eight months later, her then DD quit - she was behind the other girls and frustrated. Five years later my DD is still with it, and is training level 7.

They have a group that trains TOPs. DD is out of age now, but there are still several older girls in the group who don't compete. Do I sort of wish she was in the group? Yes. But more because one girl in her training group is doing it, and another girls' mom just asked for her girl to join. So 2/8 girls are in the TOPs group. I told my Dd that if she wants to add it, she has to ask. She hasn't. I still won't, despite a small amount of worry that DD will fall behind those two girls.

 

[l.c.o]

Forgive my awkward grammar please - I accidentally clicked post too soon!

 

[lilmisssunshine]

I asked about the process, which showed our interest. I think I said, "My son is interested in being on the team. Can you tell me how it all works?" Son was already 6 and starting to pick things up quickly, even though he'd only had a few lessons. I was told he'd have to do the pre-team camp in the summer if he wanted a chance, and when I asked about that about a month and a half later, he was invited to try out the pre-team lessons to see if it was something he was interested. From then on out, son was on pre-team (and gym was getting all my money).

 

[profmom]

I think a lot depends on the gym. We don't have TOPS on the girls' side, but even if we had it, DD would not have been a good prospect. DS has been bugging his coach literally for years to do Future Stars and he finally started training him aggressively for the program last year.

Be clear about what your child is asking for and be sure the child understands. Regular gym is plenty crazy. TOPS/Hopes and Future Stars is a whole other kind of crazy. Everyone has to be on board for this to work.

 

[Aussie_coach]

I think there is no harm in asking. If the gym flips out about you asking a question, then perhaps it would be better to look for a different gym.

 

[duyetanh]

I think it is awesome there is a tops program avail if you are interested in that route. In our part of the state there is not. My daughter would love to do it, because she has heard about it from surfing the web, and she thinks it could be interesting. They already do a lot of conditioning that is related to it though. Can I just say I am happy there is not a gym that offers tops anywhere closer than 8 hours away? This is not to bash tops at all, but she already does a lot of hours a week, I know if she wants to go the elite path someday we don't need tops to do it, and we are not raising an Olympian or NCAA finalist, we are raising a fully rounded child.

 

[SurpriseGymMom]

Ask. I know that I, as a TOPs and developmental team coach, scout the rec classes BUT I can't be there 24/7. I do miss kids, kids who don't sign up for our evaluations because their parents don't know about it or think they have to be invited. When I get asked, the absolute worst thing that can happen is that your kid isn't quite ready and I let you know that BUT now you're on my radar and i know you're interested.