Parents Sick over decision to do JO

[LJL07]

It will get very stressful when they get into the optional levels. You are looking at daily practices and many hours. It does get very hard to plan fun vacations and have down time because it is a year round sport--that doesn't mean you can't take vacations. It is just harder to plan them. We are never able to take vacations over the winter because it is always in the middle of meet season. That being said, I really wouldn't sweat level 3. My daughter did level 3 in first grade also at 9 hours a week, and it was really not bad. The practices were not the issue. It was more missing out on weekend activities with school friends during the winter and early spring due to gym meets.

 

[Sk8ermaiden]

I was you, years ago. We went Xcel. DD enjoys her time in the gym and will likely transition to JO and be an optional next season.

It was the same place...even if we do 9 hours now, am I OK with 24 hours for a child in elementary school? Not having high hours at a young age was the right decision for her. Now that she is a rising 5th grader she actually WANTS the 20 hours her gym is offering and I'm OK with it because it's her decision, not a mom decision, and it feels less wrong now that she's older.

I will say that it's the fact that your daughter frequently says she doesn't want to go to gym that would make me think you should really consider the other options. I know she has fun once she's there, but that's pretty telling.

 

[A's Mom]

You're getting lots of good advice, so I'll try not to reiterate too much of it. I just want to offer my own experience, which is as the parent of a kid who lives for gymnastics and also desperately needs her downtime to keep anxiety at bay. That means that in 3rd grade she did JO3 for 9 hours/week, a low stakes music class once a week, and that was absolutely it. Homework was periodically a struggle. So, from my own experience, I would caution you against assuming she can do 9 hours of gymnastics AND any other activity she's curious about during the school year. Your daughter is still very young, so school probably won't be high maintenance, and the summer is a great time to figure out whether she likes ramping up her hours at the gym, and whether she likes the more intense atmosphere of JO. But I think your instinct that she doesn't understand the commitment of time and energy is absolutely correct. It's good that you're taking her desires into account, but just keep listening to that voice inside you that's looking out for her best interest.

 

[A's Mom]

Also! I don't know how many gyms are near you, but you're not married to the one you're in. If xcel is a better match for her, check out gyms that let kids switch from xcel to JO. Go to the right place for your family.

 

[gymgal]

She likes it and is very good at it. But I’m not sure she absolutely loves it. There were plenty of days last year (only 3 hrs a week) she complained about going. Always had fun once she was there. ....... What is the end goal?

This is what caught my eye. Call me crazy but I would not even consider JO for a gymnast who complains about being in the gym for 3 hours a week. Does not matter how good she is or how she feels when she is there. Think of it this way - your child "likes" t-ball or swimming but doesn't "love" it. Would you be searching out a basic little league program / summer swim team for her to experience it and see if she develops a passion for it or would you be looking to put her on a year-round "travel" team? Putting her in JO is the latter scenario. It is a significantly greater level of commitment. Gymnastics hours increase very quickly in these beginning levels and it simply is not worth the money, time, family disruption unless the child "loves" it and is eager to go each and every time. Obviously, I am not talking about illness, needing to skip for other reasons, etc.

I guess the main question is "why doesn't she want to go?". Try to get a true answer and that will help your decision. How is the pre-3 organized? Are they doing a lot of drill work to prepare for Level 3? Working on shape/form instead of actual skills? That can be really boring to kids who just want to move forward and learn new skills. Xcel/AAU is a good alternative in this instance and the retention rate is higher in these programs because the gymnasts are able to work at their own level a lthan in JO.

 

[Aussie_coach]

It sounds like at your gym, kids just don't go from Xcel to JO. When they say it's not reccomended, that often really means it never happens unless the kid is super talented.

It also sounds like part of you really would like her to at least try JO, otherwise you would not feel so torn inside, the desicions would be easy.

I would not worry about hours in future levels just yet. It's really hard to look at making a desicions like this with your 1st grader and know how you and she are going to feel when she is older. You are not signing her up for a lifetime of hard labour. Each year you can review the desicions.

 

[gymgal]

I would not worry about hours in future levels just yet. It's really hard to look at making a desicions like this with your 1st grader and know how you and she are going to feel when she is older. You are not signing her up for a lifetime of hard labour. Each year you can review the desicions.

True for the gymnast but, in general, the parent really should be thinking of this early on in the process. It is really sad to watch a child, who has fallen in love with the sport, to be pulled out in L6/7/8 because the family "didn't realize" the level of commitment and no longer wants to support it.

 

[suebee]

I think you hit the nail on the head for me. Even if I can get my mind around 9 hours this year, what is the point if I'm not okay with 12 hrs and 16 hrs etc? Why even go down this path at all? That is exactly what I'm thinking. But I would like her to be able to do high school if she is still interested and so i want to make sure she is in program where that will be possible. It sounds like the Excel program will not prepare her for our high school program which is GIJO. But our summer JO program starts TODAY so I'm feeling pressure to do at least summer so we don't lose our spot.

I thought long and hard about this for my dd and even probably posted about it a while back.

My 2 cents: all kids are different. Some kids are fine with go-go-go. Some kids need a decent amount of downtime.

All families are also different. Some families have various “non-negotiable” requirements for their kids, whether that be academic enrichment, music lessons, a lot of family time, religious Ed (CCD or Hebrew school), etc.

And some gyms are pretty flexible in their attendance requirements and others not so much. Parents seem to have a good sense of this, more so that the “official gym policy.” Dd has had teammates who miss practice regularly for another commitment. Her gym looks the other way and in that way, “allows” it. I know other gyms that do not.

My advice to you, given what you have posted: do not do JO. At many gyms, if you do JO, it means gymnastics is a huge priority for your child and your family. It doesn’t sound like you are ready to make that commitment, nor is your dd. And I think that is fine. I wouldn’t sign up a kid for JO who didn’t love it and want to be in the gym more, and not a kid who sometimes doesn’t want to go at 3 hours. I would not recommend that a parent who is a definite no to 12 or 16 hours sign their kid up for JO.

And I would not plan to do Level 3 for the summer without committing to the season. Comp leotards are often ordered in the summer. You may need to start paying meet fees, depending on when the first meet is.

Don’t worry that you are closing a door. It is impossible to know what your dd may want to do in high school. Dd’s Gym is one that does not typically let kids go from Xcel to JO, but a handful of gymnasts have done this since dd has been there. So it can happen. Or your dd can try to do JO later at another gym, should that be something you desire.

My dd is finishing elementary school and doing more than 20 hours a week. And I still wonder whether this is the right thing. I’m not sorry we started this path but at the same time, I wonder whether it was the right thing for us. But here we are.

 

[John]

If I were OP I would not look to the future I would concentrate on today and the rest of the year. I would give 9 hours of JO and first grade a shot. Lower levels should be about fun and building basics. After a year or two in JO she may decide to move on and will have her memories, not doing it only guarantees she won't have the life experience.

 

[gymgal]

If I were OP I would not look to the future I would concentrate on today and the rest of the year. I would give 9 hours of JO and first grade a shot. Lower levels should be about fun and building basics. After a year or two in JO she may decide to move on and will have her memories, not doing it only guarantees she won't have the life experience.

Flip side - 9 hours of JO and first grade with a child who already doesn't always want to go to the gym for 3hrs/wk may just push her out of gymnastics entirely within the year. And moving her to the Xcel/AAU path would allow her to continue to benefit from gymnastics while keeping it more low-key and likely more "fun" since the focus is more on skill development, less on perfecting form in JO.

 

[RTT2]

Flip side - 9 hours of JO and first grade with a child who already doesn't always want to go to the gym for 3hrs/wk may just push her out of gymnastics entirely within the year. And moving her to the Xcel/AAU path would allow her to continue to benefit from gymnastics while keeping it more low-key and likely more "fun" since the focus is more on skill development, less on perfecting form in JO.

I completely agree. If it's not always fun for her at 3 hours, I would not bump up to 9. Let her try Xcel and see if she enjoys that.

 

[Flippin'A]

I agree with those who've advised you to make decisions for the coming year or so-- not your DD's whole life. High school is a long way off and trying to predict what your six year old might want at 14 is going to make you crazy. If my DD had expressed anything but overwhelming desire to be at her preteam practices I wouldn't have put her in JO. It's too much time, too much money, and too many missed opportunities to just be a kid. Xcel can be a great program when gyms treat it with respect and just because your gym doesn't have girls move to JO from it doesn't mean another gym in your area wouldn't happily snatch up a 8/9/10 yo to put on their JO team if her love for the sport blossoms over the next few years. I don't think there's anything wrong with letting her try level 3 over the summer, but if she's already resisting going to practice I doubt that's going to improve with the additional hours.

 

[Seeker]

Do JO. You can always drop back to Xcel if she doesn’t want the hours or that doesn’t work for your family. It is much harder to move into JO and many gyms don’t/won’t allow it, so it’s important to understand how your gym manages that before you decide.

 

[Tmacs]

I would definitely try JO. My DD was very noncommittal at age 7 and doing pre-team. She often didn’t like it. When she joined team around 7 1/2, she loved it and has never looked back. She did 10 hours her first year last year and it did not feel like a lot because she wants to go all the time. I saw her at breaks, had many days off with her, got to go to meets and do special meals after etc. I think our quality time has increased because of gym.

 

[Madden3]

I really do not know what you can do except try it. You will never know unless you try.
I was one of those people who, when my kids were little, totally scorned parents who "over scheduled" their kids- and then I had kids who love gymnastics. Whooops.
My dd started on the acro team last summer shortly before she started first grade. She practices 6 hours a week (3 hours 2 nights) and yes that is much less than 9. But she also does two rec gymnastics classes a week and a weekly ballet class. Then this spring, at my husband's insistence, we added Tball. That WAS too much... for me! It drove me insane juggling that schedule. She was fine.
She also spends time every week with her best friend in the neighborhood. She is constantly constructing things at home out of any scraps she can find. She does puppet shows and plays with her wooden animals. She watches Peppa Pig. She is a normal first grader, just a busy one.
Some days she is very tired after school, and I wonder if she will balk about going to practice. I have no problem giving her a night off if she wants. But she never does! She hates missing practice.
Does she love it? She kind of loves everything. I do not know if she has some grand passion for acro. My older son definitely had a grand passion for gymnastics for years, and then out of the blue he quit just as he was starting HS. You just never know.

 

[rd7]

Is it possible that she doesn't always want to go because she's repeating P-3 and is bored? I would try the JO option for the summer and see how she gets on. You can always move across to Xcel or AAU. It's much harder to move the other way.

 

[Tulip811]

I was faced with a similar decision one year ago. We chose xcel and couldn't be happier. Its plenty of gym time, the fun of getting new skills, competing and being on a team with out the huge time commitment of JO. My dd loves being in the gym, but she isnt asking for more. She was practicing six hours for bronze and now will be at 9 hours for silver. As bronze she still did Brownies, played flag football and basketball on rec leagues with her friends. She participated in running club, had time for a cooking class and still had playdates. She didn't miss any birthday parties or family events. We’ll see how the bump to 9 hrs affects that.

 

[Travelbug]

This is what caught my eye. Call me crazy but I would not even consider JO for a gymnast who complains about being in the gym for 3 hours a week. Does not matter how good she is or how she feels when she is there. Think of it this way - your child "likes" t-ball or swimming but doesn't "love" it. Would you be searching out a basic little league program / summer swim team for her to experience it and see if she develops a passion for it or would you be looking to put her on a year-round "travel" team? Putting her in JO is the latter scenario. It is a significantly greater level of commitment. Gymnastics hours increase very quickly in these beginning levels and it simply is not worth the money, time, family disruption unless the child "loves" it and is eager to go each and every time. Obviously, I am not talking about illness, needing to skip for other reasons, etc.

I guess the main question is "why doesn't she want to go?". Try to get a true answer and that will help your decision. How is the pre-3 organized? Are they doing a lot of drill work to prepare for Level 3? Working on shape/form instead of actual skills? That can be really boring to kids who just want to move forward and learn new skills. Xcel/AAU is a good alternative in this instance and the retention rate is higher in these programs because the gymnasts are able to work at their own level a lthan in JO.

I did ask her that very question. It came out that she felt one of the coaches was mean to her. By mean it turns out she was very hard in her criticism and how she delivered the feedback was sarcastic. A 6 year old does not get sarcasm. I did approach the coach and she was very receptive. My daughter said it improves immediately. The other times its typical kid stuff. She’s playing in our cul de sac with a group of friends and she is the one who has to leave for the gym. That’s when she is doesn’t want to go. I talk to moms who’s kids LOVE it and they struggle with that too. But she does express other interests and I don’t think we could pursue any of those while doing JO. She talks about dance, theater, singing lessons.

 

[Travelbug]

Also! I don't know how many gyms are near you, but you're not married to the one you're in. If xcel is a better match for her, check out gyms that let kids switch from xcel to JO. Go to the right place for your family.

We drive about 20 mins for this gym. There is also an Xcel gym 5 mins away. And an AAU gym about 5 mins away. I have heard of one more JO program about 15 mins away but No one talks about it. Not sure how great it is. Other than that, we’d have to drive maybe 45 mins for the next JO gym. I’m definitely not up for that! I know many drive that far or more but I at least know that is not for us.

 

[Travelbug]

So, she did do the JO3 yesterday. I’ve signed up for the month. No fees are due except the monthly fee. She said she loved it but I still woke up thinking is it right for us to go down this path? I really wish we had programs around that would allow moving from AAU or excel into JO. This gym wouldn’t even let a girl who had done JO with them at L3 but moved to excel after a year (at their gym) and then wanted to return to JO for good, come back. They told her no! I think that’s insane! If you have the skills and the desire, why can’t she move back over? She took a year to decide her true level of interest and then was told nope, sorry you can’t come back. That is why I’m so stressed over this. It feels so permanent and I’m the one deciding.