Parents slightly OT.. very strong-willed 4 year old- might take some time off from gym

[LIGYMMOM]

Don't be too sad about taking her out of gymnastics for a bit to try ballet. If she is truly a gymnast doing ballet, she will probably find it to be boring, and will end up back in the gym. Ballet will give her good things, grace, body control, posture, etc. to use later for gym. My dd was doing both ballet and gym when she was about that age, and when I asked her to choose, she would tell me that at ballet "every time I put my arms up I want to do a handstand"! And there it was.

 

[GYM0M]

Yeah @ 3 it's pretty hard to tell.....defiance is the name of their game! We walked into gymnastics for the very first time the day after DD turned 3. SHE wanted to play tball with her older brother and sister.....Daddy sd no way, she's way too little. (She was about the size of your average 1 year old). Trying to be fair, i found her something to occupy her evenings, gymnastics! She screamed the entire 45 minutes, well for the first 20 anyway and they brought her back to me. We moved into mom n tot bc we had already registered. Now, at 9, L8, I often remind her of that very first day for a good laugh!

 

[dani4]

Update:

Last weekend DD was all dressed up in leotard and ready to go to her gymnastics class, which is directly after her big sister's class (part of the problem I think). And then she said "I'm not going, I want to go home." I had the brilliant idea of saying we had to tell her coach. I told her DD might take the next session off, since she is refusing to go. Coach said that there's a new T&T class for preschoolers that she might like. So on the spot, I asked YDD if she would like to try a "trampoline class" and she responded very enthusiastically YES. So I told her that she only has a few more weeks of gymnastics, and then she can do trampoline. In order for me to sign her up for trampoline, I need her to go to the rest of her gymnastics classes, ok? And she grudgingly agreed, went into the gym, and seemed to be thoroughly engaged and have a good time.

And then the next day swimming lessons, where she sat on the side of the pool (after first running away from me into the men's locker room) and refused to get in the water although she kept leaning over and scooping water with her hands- clearly not afraid. She got in the water for the last ~10 minutes of class and said to her teacher "I'm coming in the water but I'm not doing anything."

GAAHH!

So anyway, tomorrow is another gymnastics class.. I think there are a few more left. I'm going to try very hard to be nonchalant about it, because the more she sees that I want her to go the more she will refuse.

Still on the fence about T&T. I know there's a good chance she will say "yes, sign me up!" and then refuse to go. At least it's during the day when I'm at work, so our au pair would be taking her- that increases the odds that she will not refuse.

4 year olds. Hrmph.

 

[Seeker]

Sounds like my teenager.
'leave me alone, come and help me!!'

I had one of those conversations today -- so annoying and slightly amusing.

 

[Jenny]

I am thinking this has nothing to do with activities and everything to do with a little power struggle ........

She is trying it on with the adults in her world. It is that transition between indulged, protected toddler and little girl with expectations of behaviour and effort. Pick your battles and stick to them. I would ditch all the activities and take her to the park instead to run round every couple of days. In 6 months she will be in a different place and able to cope much better.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

She's 4.

And maybe she is over scheduled for her, at this point.

 

[rosettasmom]

I agree with Jenny above. I also agree that she may be in too many scheduled activities. Take a few months off and see which activity she starts talking about. If in 6 months she isn't asking (without prompting) you might try to find something new entirely. She's so young, you have plenty of time to try out lots of sports before she settles (or doesn't) on 1 of them.

 

[dani4]

I agree, it's a power struggle... if it were just her I would stop gymnastics & swimming, but the problem is that big sister (6) loves both activities, and I can't really leave the 4 year old home. The 6 year old would live without her classes, but she would be really sad and I think they are both so good for her. She has gross motor coordination issues and gymnastics has helped her a lot. Plus I want her to learn how to swim.

But I can not sign up the 4 year old, and let her just hang out with me at the activities. And leave her home with DH whenever possible. She really just wants to play.

 

[COz]

I agree, it's a power struggle... if it were just her I would stop gymnastics & swimming, but the problem is that big sister (6) loves both activities, and I can't really leave the 4 year old home. The 6 year old would live without her classes, but she would be really sad and I think they are both so good for her. She has gross motor coordination issues and gymnastics has helped her a lot. Plus I want her to learn how to swim.

But I can not sign up the 4 year old, and let her just hang out with me at the activities. And leave her home with DH whenever possible. She really just wants to play.

Why do you have to sign her up? Do you need to be in the class with the 6yo? Can you out her in the class and then take the other for a walk?

 

[Deleted member 18037]

yes 3-4 yr olds tend to want to just play

and why couldn't she just hang with Dad?

 

[dani4]

Update: like a light switch flipped, YDD is enthusiastic about swimming and gymnastics again. Last week she went willingly, and this morning she bounced into the gym.

She's still a handful, but at least she's back to enjoying the things she had before. I think the changes in childcare had a lot to do with it.